Miss Whittier Makes a List (25 page)

Each day pas
sed
into another one, similar and unrelenting, and broken only by the smallest of incidents that would have been soon forgotten, except that Hannah planned to remember the last, desperate cruise of the
Dissuade
for her whole life. She brought coffee every morning to the captain, hiding her al
ar
m at his hggard expression and the exhaustion that seemed to seep out of his pores. One morning he handed her a boat cloak.
“
It
’
s Mr. Lansing
’
s. I see you shivering every morning until the sun climbs higher.
”

She took it, grateful for the warmth, remembering its owner. Another morning, there were two more bodies shrouded in their hammocks, which Captain Spark tipped over the side without a prayer. When she looked at him, a question in her eyes, he merely said.
“
I can
’
t address the Almighty right now, Hannah. I wonder if he cares.
”
Two days later, the forward pump broke, and all hands rushed to its repair. She watched from the lookout, wondering what was happening below, and then sighed with relief when the clanging began again.

Adam finished memorizing the dispatch, and it was her tu
rn
. She read over and over the
letter
in English from the governor of Antigua
,
with its traitorous catalog of ships and supplies of the Royal Navy in the
Caribbean
, destined for Napoleon. She knew it by hea
rt
at the end of a long day in the lookout, and returned it to Cap
ta
in Spark when she saw him come on deck for the second night watch.

“
Recite it for me, Hannah,
”
he said, and she did, striking a pose with her hands behind her back, much as when she had attended dame school at home and had recited whole chapters from the Bible for Dame Oldroyd.

“
Very good, my dear Lady Amber,
”
he said when she finished, and applauded when she curtsied.
“
Now go get some sleep before you topple.
”

There was nothing of the lover in his voice anymore. That was gone after the first week of watch and watch about, replaced now by a dogged determination to see the thing through that shone in his pale eyes. He rarely spoke to anyone now, beyond the necessary commands, as though trying
to
preserve his flagging energy.

“
You
’
re the one who
’
s going to topple,
”
she protested.
“
I wish I could help.
”

He surprised her with a reply, instead the usual noncommittal grunt that had become his latest mode of communication.
“
You can. Come on deck after Futt
rell
’
s watch. I have a hard
time staying awake for that part
icular watch, and you can ente
rt
ain me with stories of
Nantucket
.
”

“
Very well, sir, except that nothing exciting ever happens at home,
”
she said.

“
Let me be the judge of that profound bit of infantile wisdom. Until then, Lady Amber. Or perhaps I should brush
up on my rusty French and say
à
bient
ô
t.
”

She came on deck in the early watch, when the stars seemed to be hanging just above the masts and there was no hint of welcome dawn on the horizon. The helmsman, his eyes bleary but his hands f
ir
m on the wheel, nodded to her as she tiptoed quietly to the quarterdeck and assumed her customary position.

“
No, no. Come on deck
,
my dear.
”

Cap
ta
in Spark stood in the shadow of the weather side, hanging on to the rigging, keeping
himself
upright by sheer
force of will.

“
You
’
re wearing
Lansing
’
s cloak, I see. Good. Good
. I am definitely feeling the chi
ll
y winds of
Europe
,
”
he said as he motioned her closer.

She came to his side, and he put his a
rm
around her, gathering her into his cloak and leaning on her a little until he regained his balance. He let go of the
rigging and they stood, hip to h
ip,
ar
ms about each other
’
s waists. It seemed too close to Hannah, but the captain shivered, and she moved in closer.

“
I swear I
’
m cold right to the bone,
”
he said, sticking his thum
b into her waistband to anchor h
er more fi
rm
ly to
h
im.
“
Hannah, you
’
re better than a hot water bottle.
”

Hannah chuckled.
“
Mama wraps a rock in a towel for me at home. She doesn
’
t know, but sometimes I sneak in Hosea
’
s old dog, especially in January when everything freezes.
”

“
Tell me about your brothers, Hannah. Would I like them?
”

“
You would like Matthew,
”
she said after considering the matter a moment.
“
He is a whaler.
”
She laughed softly.
“
He and my sister-in-law have three children, each one born eight and a half months into his next voyage.
”
She stopped when he laughed.
‘
Oh, but I should not talk about things like that, should I?
”

“
It will keep me awake,
”
he replied with just a trace of good humor in his voice.
“
But why would I like Matthew?
”

Hannah sighed and leaned against the captain, gratified that she fit just right under his
ar
m
.
“
He is devoted to the sea.
”
She looked up at his face shyly.
“
I
’
ve watch
ed you from the lookout,
and sometimes you have such a dreamy expression as you watch the water.
”

“
What makes you so sure I am thinking about the ocean?
”
he replied,
teasing her.

“
Of course you are,
”
she insisted, even as his
arm
tightened about her waist.
“
Matthew is restless when he is on land too long. But I know it is hard for him to get to know his wife and children all over again, after every whaling voyage.
”

“
I suppose,
”
he said.
“
Perhaps children would not be so dreadful, if one got to know them.
”

“
It will take a much better answer than that to get thee back on my list, Captain Spark,
”
she said.

He threw back his head and laughed, and
the sound was wonderful to her ears
.
“
You and your bloody list!
”

“
Really, Captain!
”
she admonished.
“
I wish you would not swear.
”

“
Wish in vain,
my dear. And who is after Matthew?
”

“
Elijah, and he is a doctor near Boston. He is much too serious and treats me like a child.
”

“
Well, you are, Hannah,
”
the captain replied.
“
I can
’
t imagine what I was t
hink
ing when I told you I loved you.
”

She stepped away from h
im instinctively, and he re
e
led her back in.
“
You ... you told me you were in like only,
”
she reminded Spark.

“
Oh, yes, how could I forget?
”
he murmured.
“
I
’
m sure that
’
s all it is. A doctor, eh?
”

“
Yes.
”
She thought of Andrew Lease, sitting patiently on the orlop deck every day, watching his sailors die>
“
How did you find Andrew Lease after he disappeared?
”

“
I never did finish telling you, did I? He found me, rather. We were in Deptford Hard for repairs and revic
t
ualing for the blockade. He just showed up one day and told me he was signing on as ship
’
s surgeon.
”
The captain shook his head and gathered her closer.
“
I think I am part of the punishment he has decreed for himself, but God knows I
bear
him no il
l
will. People die.
”
He paused a moment, as though collecting himself.
“
Even lovely little sisters. Well Hannah, name me another brother,
”
he continued,
determined to change the subject.