Monroe, Marla - Hot and Bothered (Siren Publishing Classic) (20 page)

Savanna stuttered. “Well, uh, no. I mean, the sex is really, really good, but I like hanging out with you, too.”

He didn’t look convinced. Savanna realized she needed to be honest with him. It wasn’t fair. He was obviously looking for more from their relationship than she was. Hell, she knew it when he started talking about family. She couldn’t lead him on.

“Look, I’m not looking for a forever kind of relationship right now.”

“What are you looking for?” His face showed nothing of what he might be feeling.

“Someone to have fun with. Spend time with, you know, do things with.”

“Of which sex is a big part.”

“Well, yeah, I guess.” She wasn’t doing well here.

“And if you were looking for a more serious relationship, what would you be looking for?” he asked.

“Stability. A good solid man who would make a good father.” She knew the moment she said it that he wasn’t fooled.

“So, in other words, you are looking for someone with a full-time job. Which you think knocks me out of the running.”

“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not looking right now.”

“But if you were, I wouldn’t be your first choice. Probably not even your second or third choice. Do I have that right?” he asked in a very quiet voice.

“Dustin, why are you getting so upset? I thought we were friends. We weren’t talking about marriage anyway, just about being monogamous while we are seeing each other.”

“Yeah, but you see a definite end to our seeing each other. I was looking down the road and seeing all the possible turnoffs along the way. I obviously don’t fit in with your long-range plans.” He shook his head.

He took his coffee cup over to the sink and rinsed it out. He sat it on the counter and headed for the bedroom. Savanna followed him. He picked up his shirt and pulled it on, not bothering to button it. He sat on the edge of the bed and began putting on his socks and shoes. He didn’t look at her.

“You’re leaving? Just like that?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to be a part of your life. Sorry, but that isn’t enough for me.”

“Since when has a man cared about more than a roll in the sack? I want it, so now it’s not okay?”

“Yeah, I guess it isn’t.”

“Dustin, don’t go like this. Let’s talk about it.”

“Oh, now you care. Now that I’m leaving and there isn’t the possibility of sex anymore, you’re suddenly worried about my feelings. I don’t think so.”

She watched him walk out of the bedroom, out the front door, and out of her life. Savanna sat down on the floor and cried.

* * * *

Dustin managed to make it home without having a wreck. He was so angry he could spit nails. He wasn’t so much angry at Savanna as he was hurt by her. He was angry with himself. One, he could have made everything all right by telling her about his business, but he wanted her to want him and not want him for his
stability
. Two, he should have taken what she was giving and not worry about it. She was right. Usually, all he wanted out of a relationship with a woman was the proverbial roll in the hay. No strings attached, but this time, it was different. She was different. So now he was paying for it.

He unlocked his condo and threw his keys on the table by the door. He headed straight for the bar and poured a generous amount of whiskey in a tumbler. The first drink went down a little rough. The second one went down smooth. He wasn’t normally much of a drinker, but he needed it tonight. Hell, this morning. He looked at his watch. It was four o’clock in the morning. A little early for whiskey. He wasn’t going to go to bed. The best thing for him to do was go work out. They gym he belonged to was an all-night gym that used pass keys to get in. A good workout was exactly what he needed, even more so than the alcohol. He sat the half-empty glass on the bar and went to his bedroom for his gym bag and to change clothes.

All the way to the gym, Dustin went back over their conversation. No, he guessed it qualified as a fight. Funny, not too long ago he had wondered what they would fight about. He had been looking forward to the make-up sex. Wouldn’t be any this time.

The gym was empty. He had the entire place to himself. He liked it this way. He wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone right now. He started out on the treadmill and jogged for fifteen minutes. It wasn’t the type of exertion he was looking for. He changed over to the free weights for awhile. From there, he moved to the machines, and then progressed to the punching bag. This is where he really wanted to be. He pounded out his frustrations on the bag. It felt good, but it would only be temporary. Once he was finished, and out of the shower, it would all come back to sit on him like one of the fifty-pound weights.

He grabbed the punching bag and held it still for a moment as he contemplated his options. He could go back and tell her everything. He could forget about her, which was easier said than done, or he could go back as her fuck buddy. That was all he was, or had been anyway. He wasn’t one to settle for less than everything, though. He wouldn’t settle for that now. She needed time to think, and he needed time to calm down. Then maybe he would call her—and say what?

Damn! He threw the towel across the room and huffed out a breath. It was a lost cause. He wasn’t going to settle, and he didn’t see her as changing her mind. Dustin headed for the locker room and a hot shower. He had managed to pound out a lot of his anger, but he was still frustrated. Just thinking about her had him all hot and bothered.

Early Monday morning, Dustin called to speak with Martin Sherman concerning the account he was working on. The man had assured him he would personally look over the information before releasing it to him this time. Still, Dustin didn’t trust the man. It had nothing to do with the faulty prospectus from last time and everything to do with the man himself. He didn’t feel right to him.

The other thing that bothered him about using Martin’s firm again was that the last two businesses he had researched using them, he ended up with competition. No one had been looking at the same businesses as he had been until he began to research them. That spelled a leak in the firm as far as he was concerned, and Martin was at the top of his list. He didn’t believe for one minute that some assistant had screwed up the files.

“Mr. Liguori, what can I do for you this morning?”

“I wanted to check in to see if you have those numbers for me yet.”

“Let me get that file in front of me. Hold on just a minute.” Music came on the line.

Dustin waited for about a minute, and Martin came back on.

“Okay, I have the appraisal of the business and gross worth, but I still don’t have the entire picture. I’m waiting on a final list of creditors.”

“When do you expect to have it by?” he asked.

He could hear Martin breathing over the phone as he thought about it. Dustin would lay odds he had all the numbers he needed in front of him. Why would he hold out on him? That was what Dustin wanted to know.

“I hope to have everything ready for you by the end of next week.”

“Okay, I’ll call back then to set up a meeting.” Dustin hung up.

Next week, he thought. That meant that if there was going to be another offer put on the table, it would happen this week. He needed to make up his mind and either make an offer or forget about this venture altogether. He didn’t want to admit defeat on this one. He picked up a folder on his desk and began reading through it. With everything he had about the business now, he could make an educated decision on a fair price that would assure him of success. Still, he hesitated. If the same company came in and tried to buy the place out from under him, he would know it wasn’t a coincidence. Decisions, decisions.

He found himself thinking about Savanna. He already missed her, and it hadn’t even been two days since their fight. Those baby blue eyes with tears in them kept appearing before him. Hell, he had dreamed about her when he managed to get to sleep. Getting over her wasn’t going to happen overnight. The fact was, he wasn’t sure how long it would take to get her out of his system. He’d never fallen this hard for anyone before.

Part of him still wanted to go and talk to her. The other part told him he was a fool to even consider it. Why not just tell her the truth? What could it hurt?

You’ll never know if she really cares about you or your stability.
Could he really blame her for wanting someone who would be able to make ends meet?
Why are you even thinking about her? You’re supposed to be thinking about work.
He sighed and stood up. He might as well make some calls and see how things were going. He needed to talk to his assistant about a replacement for him. He was moving to
Germany
. His wife’s parents weren’t doing well, and she was going to take care of them. So, now he needed a new assistant. Someone who could do a lot of what he paid Martin’s firm to do. Just one more problem to add to his stack.

* * * *

Raindrops rolled down the window outside the spa. Savanna watched them as they left sparkling pathways down the glass. They reminded her of her tears. It seemed she did a lot of crying lately. She had been for the last two weeks anyway, ever since Dustin had walked out on her. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. When she did, she had erotic dreams of him.

“You mooning over that Dustin guy again?” Irene didn’t miss a thing.

“Why would you think that? I’m just watching the rain and thinking about taking an early lunch.”

“You’ve lost weight, so I’m sure you’re not eating on your early lunches.”

“What are you, my personal shrink?” she asked.

Irene laughed and shook her head. “You could sure use one. That man made you happy. How could you let him go?”

“He doesn’t have a steady job, and doesn’t seem worried about it. I can’t get involved with someone who isn’t worried about paying bills.” Savanna sighed and crossed over to stand behind the counter.

“Have you ever considered that he doesn’t see a reason because he hasn’t
found
a reason yet? Maybe you would have been his reason.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that he’ll change?” She harrumphed. “I trust him to take care of me, and one day, I wake up to find him gone or, worse, still there but not paying the bills.”

“You’ve got to put your past behind you, Savanna. Not everyone is like your ma and pa.”

“Irene, here comes Ms. Laurensen. Time to get to work.” Savanna was never so happy to see Ms. Laurensen’s crabby face.

“I’m not finished with you yet, Savanna. You need to think more with your heart and less with your head sometimes.” Irene walked over to greet Ms. Laurensen when she stepped through the door.

She was meeting Karen for lunch. Since she and Dustin had broken up, Karen had turned into the consoling friend. It was a turnaround, but it seemed to be good for her. She hadn’t seemed quite as depressed lately. So far, her boss hadn’t caused any problems for her, but she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Savanna let one of the staff know she was leaving for lunch and walked the three blocks to the little diner they were meeting at. She shook off her umbrella and sat it in a rack by the door. It looked like she had beat Karen for once. She took a seat in a booth in the front window. She wanted to be able to watch the people walk by. She didn’t have long to wait. Karen came running in, shaking out her umbrella as she walked through the door. She caught sight of Savanna sitting in the booth and veered toward her.

“Hey, how are you?” she asked as she took a seat across the table from her.

“I’m doing fine. I’m glad you had time for lunch today. You’ve cancelled on me twice lately.”

“Sorry, work has been hectic. We took on two new clients this week, and they’re keeping me busy.”

The waitress interrupted them and took their order. They ate there so often, they didn’t even bother with menus anymore. Karen ordered the tuna on a croissant. Savanna ordered a garden salad. She wasn’t really hungry. After the waitress left, Karen jumped on her with both feet.