Monster (25 page)

“Yep,” I
said, pulling out of his arms and turning back to the car, throwing
myself in before he could even move a foot.

Breaker got in
silently, throwing on the heat, pulling off the shoulder, and letting
me have my silence though I kept feeling his eyes on my profile as he
drove.

We pulled up to his
house a while later and I followed Breaker inside, both of us going
to change into dry clothes. By the time he came out of the bedroom, I
was in a pair of black yoga pants and a oversize pink sweatshirt,
legs curled on the couch, laptop propped on top of them.

“What are you
doing?”

“Putting the word
about Glenn out there,” I said, forcing my eyes to blink back
the tears. “He had friends in the hacker community. They have a
right to know. Everyone worries about each other when we disappear.
Mostly thinking one of us got locked up, but there's always a chance
for... worse. His friends deserve to know the truth.”

“You think that's
a good idea seeing as we're the only ones who know what happened to
Glenn?” he asked, watching me, his words hesitant like he was
worried he was crossing a line.

“First- Lex
doesn't exactly seem like the type who knows how to use the dark web.
Second- I am going to say to keep it on the DL because it could lead
to my getting into the same kind of trouble as Glenn. And third, I
don't give a fuck.”

To this, Breaker had
nothing to say.

I had the vague
knowledge of him walking around the kitchen as I typed but I didn't
look up until I saw him sit down beside me, dropping two glasses on
the coffee table and filling them with something clear.

My eyes went to his,
brows drawn together.

“Your friend died
today,” he said, putting the bottle down and reaching for the
glasses, handing one to me. “You owe it to him to honor his
memory.”

“By drinking?”
I asked, glancing at the bottle of vodka.

“Yeah, doll. It's
what people do. People in the line of work we're in. We drink. We
share stories. We numb the pain a little. We fight or fuck and we
move the fuck on. It's the only way.”

The line of work
we're
in.

I never thought of it
that way. That we were, in a way, doing the same kind of job.
Underground. Illegal.

But he was right.

I may not have had
blood on my hands in a literal way, but that morning proved I did in
a very metaphorical way.

So if the way people
like us honored a death was by drinking, then I owed it to Glenn to
do that.

I lifted my glass
toward Breaker then threw back the liquid that burned down my throat.
I came up coughing and Breaker laughed.

“Not a big
drinker, huh?”

I rubbed the tongue
against the roof of my mouth, trying to scrub the taste of vodka away
with no success. “No.”

To this, he shrugged,
leaning forward to snag the bottle and pour us both another round.
“You won't even taste it soon enough,” he told me sagely
then just kept plying me with liquor until it became true. “So
did you two date for long?” he asked a while later when my head
was starting to feel fuzzy and the room was whirling a bit, making me
put my foot on the ground to assure myself that I was still, in fact,
stationary.

“No. And we
didn't really... date,” I said, my mouth deciding it was a good
time to spill all the dirty little secrets I kept buried deep. “He
taught me things. He liked me. I just... I had nothing else to offer
him...”

If I had been looking,
I would have seen Breaker's light eyes darken, his face harden.
“Alex, you have more to offer than sex,” he said, his
words a little firmer than usual, making me look at him.

But I didn't see the
hardness there.

And I was laughing.
“Says the man who has been screwing me silly for the past
couple of days.”

“Doll...”

“Not that I'm
complaining,” I went on, oblivious to even the idea of
boundaries anymore. “The sex has been like... great. Like super
super
great. And I didn't even think I had a sex drive
anymore. But then there you were all badass and dirty mouthed and my
lady bits were like...
well hello.
And then you knew how to
use your gentleman bits really well and I just... what's so funny?”
I asked, my brows knitting together, feeling indignation rise up.
Didn't he see that I was trying to give him a compliment? It was
rude
to laugh at compliments.

“My... gentleman
bits?” he asked, trying to reign in the smile and failing
miserably.

“Fine. Your
cock
,” I shot back, lowering my eyes at him. “Happy?”

“Surprisingly...
given this shit day. Having to deal with Lex. Seeing him rake you
over the coals. Again. Having to see you cry. Even with all that
shit? Yeah, babe... I'm pretty fuckin' happy right now.”

I rolled my eyes at
him. “You're drunk,” I dismissed him.

“No, doll. You're
drunk. I'm still as sober as a judge.”

“That's not
possible,” I objected. “You drank just as much as me and
my brain cells feel like they're swimming in jello.”

“That's because
you're a lightweight. I can drink that whole bottle without getting
as shitfaced as you are right now.”

“Well,
regardless. You shouldn't be happy right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because there's
no reason to be happy.”

“I'm sitting here
with a a woman drunk off her ass, tellin' me she likes what my
'
gentleman bits'
do to her, knowing I am going to be balls
deep in her sweet pussy before the night is over. So yeah, doll, I
think I have a pretty good reason to be happy.”

Even drunk, that did
make some kind of sense. So I just shrugged.

“Alex, look at
me.”

I sighed, letting my
eyes slide to his. “What?”

“You have more to
offer than just sex,” he said, his tone oddly serious. “You
get me?”

His tone didn't leave
much room for debate and my tongue was feeling a little fat and I
wasn't sure any argument of mine would come out clearly anyway. “I
get you,” I agreed though I wasn't sure I was, in fact, with
him.

“Good. Now can
you walk without faceplanting or should I carry you to bed to fuck
you?”

“I can walk,”
I assured him, getting to my feet and my arms immediately flew out
wide, trying to balance myself. I took a few tentative steps,
realizing that if I concentrated hard enough, I could, in fact, walk.
“What is drunk sex like?” I asked, reaching to pull my
sweatshirt over my head as I stumbled down the hall.

Breaker followed behind
me and while I couldn't see it, I could hear it in his voice that he
was smiling. “I have a feeling that with you, it's going to be
a whole new experience.”

“Only if I can
get these... pants... off,” I said, sitting on the edge of the
bed trying to struggle out of the legs.

Breaker's deep chuckle
rumbled through to my bones as he walked to the edge of the bed,
grabbed the ends of my pants and hauled them off me in one swift
motion that made me flail out to grab the sheets so I didn't slide
off the bed. I looked down to see he had pulled my panties off too.
And I hadn't bothered with a bra.

I looked up at Breaker.
“This isn't going to work,” I said, brows drawing down as
I tried to concentrate.

“Why not?”
he asked, still smiling.

“Because I'm
naked.”

“I see that,”
he said, eyes raking over my body and it sent a rush of wet between
my legs. “Don't see that being a problem.”

“You're fully
dressed,” I went on.

“There's things I
can do to you fully dressed,” he said, moving toward the bed
and getting down on his knees at the foot. His arms went up, grabbing
my thighs, and yanked me down toward him. Before I could even think
to snap my legs together, his face was between them, his tongue
sliding up my sex until it found my clit and went at it without
mercy.

It didn't take long for
me to think that getting drunk had it's definite, definite benefits.
Like a body that was somehow numb everywhere else except where
Breaker was touching. Because wherever that was, felt like it was
electric. It felt pulsing and alive.

He licked me until I
came twice.

Then fucked me until I
came two more times.

He walked away then
came back, making the bed feel like it was suddenly filled with water
it wobbled so hard. He climbed in next to me, hauling me onto his
chest in a way that was new but still somehow deeply familiar. One
arm was locked hard around my hip, the other sifting through my hair.

I felt sleep pulling at
my eyes.

“Glenn died
today,” I whispered quietly.

“I know, baby,”
he said, his arm squeezing me.

“We got drunk and
we shared stories and we fucked.”

“Yeah, doll.”

“I think maybe I
can move on now,” I said, turning my face slightly to plant a
kiss at the center of his chest.

Both of his arms went
around me, squeezing me tight.

“Yeah,” he
agreed. And I could have sworn I felt his lips at the top of my head
before I drifted off.

Sixteen

Alex

Four days.

Four days since Glenn
died. Since I got stupid drunk and probably admitted way too much to
Breaker about god-knew what.

I say 'probably'
because the night had a vodka-blanket laying atop of it.

I woke up the next
morning with jackhammer splicing into my brain, making me groan and
roll onto my side, cradling my head in my hands as Breaker moved off
of the bed chuckling.

“'s not funny,”
I grumbled, rocking my body to try to ease the ache.

“From where I'm
standing it is,” he said, coming back in and pushing me onto my
back where he deposited three ibuprofen into my hand and gave me a
bottle of water. I threw back the pills with a sip of water and he
shook his head, tipping up the bottom of the bottle. “Down it
all. You need to hydrate.”

“I need to be
left alone to die,” I objected, but I chugged the water. After
all, he knew more about hangovers than I did. I threw the empty
bottle toward the foot of the bed, pulling myself up until I was
seated against the headboard. I chanced a look at Breaker who looked
way too amused and un-hungover. “Did I say anything stupid last
night?”

“Yep,” he
said immediately, looking close to laughing.

“Great,” I
said, running a hand through my hair.

“It was cute.”

“Whatever it
was,” I objected, “was not cute. Embarrassing? Sure.
Cute? No.”

“How do you know?
You don't even remember,” he said logically and I glared at
him. Which only made him laugh. “I'm gonna go make you some
eggs and toast. Heavy on the butter and grease. Go catch a shower and
meet me in the kitchen for some caffeine.”

With that, he left.

And I followed
instructions.

After the clanging in
my brain became a steady but tolerable banging, I went to the laptop
and spent the day answering responses I got about Glenn. There was
still nothing on the post about Lex.

And the part of me who
knew the underworld of the dark web knew that there was very little
to no chance of getting a bite after so long.

The next two days
taught me more about Breaker. Not Breaker, the muscle. Or Breaker,
the verifiable sex god. But Breaker, the man.

He got up early. He
drank too much coffee. He worked out (duh, with a body like that!).
He showered. He cooked. He watched movies. He dealt with household
chores. He took time out to fuck me.

He was just... a normal
person.

It was a weird thing to
realize. Men like him, they seemed above the little everyday things
like taking out the trash or washing out the coffee pot. But I had
seen him do those things more than once.