More Than This: Contemporary Christian Romance Novel (31 page)

“Then, I’m hoping next week to have you back in here for a full battery of learning disability testing, including an I.Q. test.”

Panic reached up from his gut and gripped his throat. “An I.Q. test?”

Mrs. McLaughlin smiled. “You might be surprised. Many of our students do very well on intelligence tests even if their reading skills are weak.” She paused to give him a moment to digest all of that. “Then we’d like you to take the full battery of vision testing. At the end of everything, we will have a more complete understanding of what has been causing your reading issues.”

Before he could yank it back, he laughed softly. “I could tell you that.”

It was only then that her eyes softened. “I know this is something you’ve dealt with probably for as long as you can remember, Jake. You think it’s a part of you, that there’s something you’re doing wrong, that there is something wrong with you. But it’s not. We are learning by leaps and bounds how much the physical issues, especially the vision issues trip you and others just like you up. You think it’s you, but the truth is, anyone who had these issues would have as much trouble as you’re having.”

She stopped for a moment, and when she continued, her voice was even softer. “I shared this with Liz earlier, but maybe you should hear it too. My son was a lot like you, Jake. He was a very bright child, fun-loving and a friend to everyone, but when he got into school, things started going south. Reading and spelling were a struggle from minute one, and they just got worse and worse and worse. I didn’t know what to do, how to help him. We tried everything, and he began to think it was his fault.”

It was only then that Jake’s gaze came up to hers, and she smiled and nodded.

“There are a lot of kids out there just like that, Jake. They don’t know anyone or anything that can help them. They think it’s them just like you did. All I want is to find a way to help them, but I can’t do that on my own. I need you to help me to learn to help them.”

For the first time maybe in forever, Jake saw the whole ordeal not as him against an invincible army bent on taking him down, but rather as him standing on the front line in a battle for the spirits of thousands of other children. Children just like he had been— wanting to fit in, wanting to learn, wanting to read like they all did, wanting to not be labeled as different, defective. Maybe this wasn’t just about him. Maybe God had a plan in all this he had never seen before. Slowly he nodded. “Okay.”

Mrs. McLaughlin looked at him with guarded hope. “Okay?”

He dragged in a long deep breath and looked out across the battlefield at the enemy that had been lurking there his whole life. “Yeah. Let’s do this thing.”

“This is very simple,” the nurse said Monday morning as Jake stood, looking at the enormous, hulking machine and the tiny table. “You’re just going to lie here very still. We’ll push you in, and the machine will take pictures of your brain activity. It will take about 15 minutes. The thing is really noisy, so we want you to wear these ear plugs. Once you’re in, you must lay very, very still the whole time. You got it?”

And Jake had thought the blood test was bad.

“How was it?” Liz asked about two seconds after he made it through the swinging door from the MRI lab.

“Well, I don’t really recommend it,” Jake said, twisting at his ear. When she said it was noisy, she wasn’t kidding. “Wow. If we can mark that one off the list for kids, let’s do it. That thing is rough.”

“Why? What was it?”

“Well.” They were walking now, back to Dr. Bjorn’s wing of the fourth floor. “First, they lay you on this little table that feels like it’s going to drop you in the floor at any moment. Then they give you earplugs...”

“Earplugs? What for?”

“Because if you didn’t have them, you might seriously go crazy in there. Then they push you into this little, teeny-tiny space and expect you to lay there perfectly still and not go insane from claustrophobia or fear for fifteen minutes.” He shuddered at the thought. “Yeah. I’m thinking x that one off the list of have to’s for little kids. I barely made it through it.” He breathed, feeling better than he had in a month. “So what torture chamber are we off to next?”

“Uh, brain scan.”

“Brain scan. Ah, piece of cake. I wonder if they’re going to let me sleep in there. I’m getting a little tipsy from the whole not getting to sleep thing last night.” He almost giggled at the thought of five a.m. and how hard it was to keep himself awake without coffee. This testing thing was not for the faint of heart.

“You okay?”

“Okay? Tell you what. After this, give me a flat place and a pillow. I’ll be asleep faster than you can say Grandma Moses, and then, hopefully, I’ll be just fine.”

The second test was far longer than the first one, and Liz really began to wish about thirty minutes into waiting that she had thought to bring something to do. Something like maybe a final to study for or something. After all, it wasn’t like they weren’t starting tomorrow or anything. She put her head back on the wall and wondered if this was all as surreal for him as it was for her. More so probably though she could hardly imagine how.

It was so strange looking into the future and being so unsure of anything. All she knew was they were here now, and at the moment, that was about all she could handle anyway.

“All done,” Jake said, striding through the doors into the lobby and right over to where she sat. It was only when she lifted her head from the wall that he realized she’d been sleeping. “Hey, no fair.” He slipped into the chair next to her, grabbed her hand, and kissed it soundly. “I’m the one who had to stay up all night. What’re you doing sleeping?”

“Hm.” She rubbed her eyes. “Moral support. So how’d it go?”

“Better. At least this one was quiet.” He gazed at her, loving her more every second that he sat there. “So, how does IHOP and a nap sound?”

She stretched and grinned. “Heavenly.”

After IHOP, they went back to her place, and Jake was asleep on the couch in no time. Liz wanted to join him in dreamland, but she didn’t have that luxury. Since she’d taken off the day at The Grind to study three months before, she had all the time between now and sunrise left to prepare, but it didn’t look like nearly enough.

Quietly she sat down at the table, pulled out her Statistics book and got to work.

He found himself on a beach somewhere. It was warm and quiet. Only the sun, the wind and the waves washing across his feet provided company. There was no panic, no worry. He picked up a small seashell and launched it far out into the surf, wondering how one could feel such peace. The breeze brushed past him like an immortal, eternal embrace. He stopped to gaze out at the world in all its perfection.

Then he felt her, right there at his side. No words were needed as she simply stepped into the circle of his arms and placed her hands onto his wrapping around her. Perfection was his in that moment, and he knew this was exactly where he’d always been meant to be.

Jake came awake, out of the dream slowly, not wanting to let it go as it slipped away from his conscious grasp. In fact, one part of him begged for it not to detach from his spirit. But it was going, and then it was gone. He let his eyes fall closed, holding it a second more. Yes, together with her, life finally made sense.

When he let go of the dream and rejoined reality, he realized he was not at home in bed but in her apartment. The light was still on, but the world beyond the windows was black. He yawned and stretched, wondering what time it was. Slowly, carefully so as not to scare her, he sat up and looked around.

At the table she sat encircled by the soft, dim light from above her. She was writing something, studying probably. He tried to remember something about her schedule, when her tests were, what papers she had coming up. He hadn’t thought to ask. Memories of the last three days slid through him, and gratefulness came with them. She had said she would be there, and she had been— every step, every moment. With a push from the cushions he stood, still watching her. She was absolutely the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Her gaze came up and touched his, and she smiled. “Well, hello, there, sleeping beauty.”

Jake laughed at that. He could hardly be called anything close. He ran his hand over the whiskers lining everything from his jaw down. “How long have I been out?”

She twisted her wrist to look at her watch. “About six hours.”

“Six hours? Oh, man! It must be all that sleep I missed last night.” Blinking the sleep away, he stood and came over to the table where she sat, feeling very much like the beach in his dream had. “What’re you working on?”

“Ugh. Finals start tomorrow. I’ve got Stats and History. Don’t ask.”

Swinging the chair around, he sat down on it backward and ran his hand over the back of his head. “You didn’t tell me you needed to be studying.”

“I was trying not to think about it.” She wrote something else down. “Besides, I was doing research, remember?” Her smile split through his heart. Why was it so easy to remember how that beach felt when he looked into her eyes?

“Well, what do you say I make something for us to eat?” He pushed up off the chair and headed into the kitchen.

“I’m not sure what I’ve got. Rice Krispies and stale milk probably.”

“Hey, I like Rice Krispies.” Opening one cabinet, he came upon a can of peas and three bags of Ramen noodles. “How does chicken noodle sound?”

“Wonderful.”

He smiled. A girl after his own heart.

An hour later, though he didn’t want to, Jake knew it was time to vacate the premises so she could get her studying done. Dishes done, he snapped off the kitchen light and went to join her in the dining room. Leaning against the door frame, he stuck his hand in the pocket of his jeans, and one touch on the little ring still there brought how much he loved her cascading over him.

Not once had she so much as asked about a ring. They hadn’t, in fact, talked much about any of it since he’d asked. Maybe there was a time he would have thought that meant she no longer cared or that she wanted out, but after today, he knew that was not the case. His heart felt open enough to embrace the whole world, and she was the direct reason for that.

With no effort he pushed off the frame and stood. “Well...”

She looked up, and just how tired she looked drifted through him. She’d put herself and all of her priorities behind his, and he felt now how much she had given and given up for him. “Sorry I didn’t help with the dishes.”

Jake smiled and shook his head. “It was just dishes. I didn’t melt.”

Her smile was softer and far more tired. “That’s good.”

It was weird how perfectly settled everything felt. He wasn’t nervous or panicked about anything, and he couldn’t remember a time that had ever been the truth in his life. “I guess I should...” He hooked a thumb backward to the door.

“Yeah.” But she didn’t move. Instead, her eyes held him with a gentleness he couldn’t have described had he had ten thousand words. “You know, Jake, before you go, I wanted to tell you how impressed I am.”

That dragged incredulousness to the surface. “Impressed? With what?”

“You.” She stood and came around the table. “What you did today, what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been.” And then she was right in front of him, so close he could have reached out and touched her. “You’re an amazing person, Jake McCoy. I want you to know that.”

Warmth mixed with disbelief spread through him as a smile he’d never felt came into his spirit. Gently, slowly, he stepped over to her and pulled her into his arms. The fit was perfect. He closed his eyes and felt the sea breeze brush his face. “I couldn’t have done it without you.” The breath relaxed every piece of him that wasn’t already at perfect peace. “Thank you.”

Her hand on his back slid up and down, and minus the coat, it felt closer than it ever had. “You’re welcome.”

His arms tightened around her, telling her what he couldn’t. When he half-released her, he bent his gaze to catch her upturned one. With half-a-smile, he let himself be dragged by the magnet of her lips. The first brush was soft, grateful. The second yanked him forward with a power he wasn’t prepared for.

Falling with her through space was the only sensation as everything else fell away from them. He kissed her again and again, each one deeper and yet not nearly enough. And she didn’t run, didn’t draw back. Her hands were now both gripping his back, pressing him closer to her and closer still.

At the very last second before he completely lost all sanity in the moment, Jake pulled back, gasping. Liz went the other way, gasping as well and looking almost as bewildered as he felt. His eyes captured hers and asked questions he could find no words for.

“I should go,” he finally managed to rasp out.

She nodded, gazing at him as if disoriented. “Yeah.” Her eyes fell closed, and then she shook her head.

Knowing that keeping her too close would be dangerous, Jake reached down and took her hand instead. He swallowed hard, hoping he could get out that door before he gave into every signal his body was sending to his brain. Somehow he had always thought all of this would be so very hard. It was how easy it was that scared him.

At the door, he put his hand on the frame and turned to her, clutching his one hand with both of hers. He should leave, but oh, he didn’t want to. Not one molecule of him did. He leaned against the door and pulled her into him again. His mind easily filled in all the images of what could happen if he let himself go even one more step in that direction. “Good luck on your tests.”

Tests. Yes, that seemed a safe subject.

Resting her head on his chest, she let her finger trace across the other side of his shirt. That really wasn’t fair— not when he was trying so hard to be strong and not let the fire in him ignite into an inferno he was pretty sure he would have no hope of controlling. Still, his eyes fell closed on the feeling because he simply couldn’t help it. Did she know what she was doing to him?

“I’m going to miss you,” she whispered.

“I’m... I...” He was losing control. He knew it. No one had ever been this close and stayed. No one had ever touched him like this. No one. “Liz...”

She pulled back then and looked up at him until he looked down at her. Their gazes locked and riveted together. “I love you, Jake. I do. I love you so much.”

The world collapsed through her words, and his face crumpled with it.

Gently she put her hands on either side of his face, brushing there, touching him, gazing at him like eternity was a real possibility. Then she leaned in and kissed him so softly it dispersed every bad thing that had ever happened to him. Taking her in his arms, he straightened from the door, angling her down, so that she came under his power. He felt the power, the power of his body over hers. He could easily take her, possess her, have her for his own, and yet, she was not a possession to be seized. She was a treasure to protect and cherish, to be willing to die for even. And in that moment, she was.

He pulled her back, breaking the connection, and then he wrapped his embrace around her. “You’re killing me. You know that?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just... I can’t help but think how close I came to missing you completely. What if you’d never walked in that door? What if I hadn’t bothered to say anything? Would we have completely missed this?”

Jake didn’t know. Honestly, not much of anything made sense other than that everything did.

“And I can’t help but think what if you walk out that door and never come back,” she whispered into his shirt.

That yanked him up short. “What? Why would I do that?”

She sniffed and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

But there was more in her voice than nothing. Jake managed to put enough distance between them so that he could look at her. “Liz? What is it? What’s going on?”