Must Love Fangs (Midnight Liaisons) (7 page)

I digested it all in silence. It was clear that Josh knew the woman well and took an interest in her life. That seemed . . . odd to me. Josh was such a love-them-and-leave-them type that I hadn’t imagined him to be the kind to chat with lonely elderly ladies.

There was another side to the incorrigible flirt. Either that, or this was all an elaborate ruse to get women to fall into his arms. Take them to a low-key diner, charm them with his relationship with an old, down-on-her-luck woman, then they’d tumble into his bed faster than the speed of light.

Even as I told myself that, it didn’t fit. What playboy was going to hang out at a diner with an old woman to talk about her cats?

“So,” I said when we were alone again. “You were going to tell me what I’m doing wrong?”

He stopped eating, wiped his mouth with his napkin, and nodded. “First, I need to know the whole thing. How many vampires have you gone out with?”

I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him everything.
Well, if I couldn’t get a vampire to show up for a date, it wouldn’t matter. I had to take my chances with Josh. “I’ve gone out with three. At least, I
tried
to go out with three. First there was Valjean—”

Josh shook his head immediately. “He’s hooked up and left for Europe. You know Ruby Sommers? Pretty little were-jaguar? Sister to Jayde?”

I didn’t, but it was clear that he knew all the “pretty little were-jaguars” in town, which made my teeth grit. “I know he’s hooked up. Anyhow, we never went out. I went out with Bert.”

He laughed. “No way. Seriously? World of Hurt Bert?”

I wasn’t going to have any teeth left if I kept grinding them. “He’s a vampire, isn’t he?”

“Only in the barest sense of the word. The man’s a loser. I can’t believe you went out with him.”

And Bert had told me that I wasn’t his type. That stung a bit more right now than it should have. “It was only one date.”

He nodded. “Turned you down, didn’t he?”

I gaped. “How did you know that?”

“I did a spin of guard duty for Bert last summer. He likes ’em . . . ” He gestured, indicating a rather large butt, and then began to jiggle his hands.

“Yes, I know,” I hissed, slapping his hands down. “Badonkadonk.”

“I was going to say ‘big booty hos’, but that works,” he said with a laugh. “Anyhow, that’s why he’s single. He’s selective, and the dating pool is
kind of lean when it comes to that sort of thing. No pun intended.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, well, number two turned me down, too. He didn’t even show up to our date.”

He nodded. “I’m not surprised.”

“Why are you not surprised? I am.”

“Vampires tend to be skittish.”

I eyed the Russell Security T-shirt that he wore. “I noticed. So they’re paranoid?”

“To the extreme,” he agreed, sipping his coffee again with a grimace. “Vampires are a dog-eat-dog society. You look at someone’s blood partner the wrong way, and you could find yourself with a contract on your head. You go into someone’s territory and set up shop, there’s a contract on your head. It’s like the mafia with fangs. The smart ones lay low or leave town fast.”

That sounded awful. There was so much that I didn’t know about vampires, and I was quickly realizing that Josh could help fill in some of the fuzzy edges. “So what’s a blood partner?”

“A vampire’s mate is called a blood partner. Blood partners only drink from each other. And since vampire women are rare, you’ll find a lot more single male vampires, since every female that isn’t partnered pretty much has her choice of men.”

Interesting. That sounded like it could work in my favor. If vampire females were highly prized, my willingness to become a vampire female would probably be looked upon positively. “So why aren’t there many vampire females?”

“Same thing as female shifters, I imagine,” he said. “You’re marrying into a family that’s not exactly the most fun to get along with. And I hear it’s quite painful for the victim if the turning doesn’t take—or it kills them.”

That wasn’t a deterrent for me. I was dying anyhow, so I’d take my chances. I rubbed my eyes, feeling suddenly a bit tired. The more I found out about vampires, the less I wanted to become one, but I was low on choices. Very low. “So vampires are skittish and think everyone is out to get them. Is that why my date didn’t show up?”

“That’s my guess. Either that, or he didn’t like the way you looked and had second thoughts.”

I scowled. “I look perfectly acceptable.”

“You’re beautiful,” he agreed.

I was momentarily flabbergasted. “I . . . thank you.”

“To me,” he amended. “Vampires like different things.”

Oh, I remembered. Badonkadonk. Still, I felt warm under Josh’s flattery and didn’t even mind the reminder. “So what is it about me you’d change?”

He studied me for a long moment, the intense scrutiny making my cheeks flush. His gaze swept over my face, then my chest, then back over my face again. A smile curved his sexy mouth. “I wouldn’t change anything.”

My cheeks felt as if they’d been on fire.

“But we’re not talking about me. You’re talking about hooking a vampire . . . unless you changed
your mind and decided you want me instead?”

Figured that he’d bring the conversation back around to how sexy he was. I kicked him under the table. “I didn’t change my mind. Tell me about what I need to do to get a vampire.”

“You girls and your weird vampire fetishes,” he said with a shake of his head. “You know dating a vampire’s not like it is on TV, right?”

“I’m not stupid.”

“No, you’re not, but I am questioning your taste in men.” At my glare, he raised a placating hand. “Fine, then. Let’s start with the basics. You went through the agency?”

I said nothing, suddenly nervous. Josh was the brother-in-law of my boss. If she knew that I was using the database for my own personal needs, I’d be fired in a red-hot minute. That was a big no-no, especially since I was only a marginal member of the Alliance.

Of course, Bathsheba had dated through the agency herself, once upon a time. Anytime it came up, however, she was quick to explain that it hadn’t been her choice—she’d been blackmailed into it to hide the fact that Sara was a werewolf. She didn’t want Ryder and me dating through the agency because the fact that a human had used the service had stirred up a real hornet’s nest among the shifter clans. Some wanted to date humans, but more of them didn’t want us contaminating the works. I could understand it, even if it was cross with all of my own plans.

Josh sighed at my reluctance. “I’m not going to rat on you, Marie. If I was, would we be here?”

I had no idea. But I supposed I had to trust someone—I was getting nowhere fast on my own, and I didn’t have a ton of vampires in the database to experiment with. “I’m in the database. As Minnie Michigo. Were-otter.”

The nod of approval came slowly. “Michigo was a good choice. Lots of them in the area.”

Strange, how flustered I felt when I had his approval. “That’s why I picked them. Plus, they’re not a bigger predator that could be intimidating.”

He nodded again, his expression thoughtful. “Your no-show could have run a background check and found out that Minnie didn’t exist.” He pulled out his phone and began to flip through screens.

“What are you doing?” I asked warily.

“Looking up Minnie’s profile.” Then he frowned, looking back up at me. “No picture?”

“I send it if they ask for it,” I said defensively. “Why should looks matter?”

“Because you’re dealing with men,” he said bluntly. “Did you send a picture to this last guy? Send it to me.”

I sent the photo to Josh’s profile.

His eyes widened. “What the hell is this?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling defensive. “Just a picture I pulled off the internet. I thought it might convey fun and lightheartedness.” You know, all those things I wasn’t good at myself. “It’s kind of a silly pose, but I thought it might look natural.”

Josh continued to stare at the picture, and then back at me. “That’s not you, right?”

I snorted. “No, that’s not me. She’s putting her fist in her mouth, and I can’t do that.”

“Marie,” he said slowly. “That’s not her fist. That’s not even her body part.”

I snatched the phone away from him and studied it for a minute . . . good God. “I . . . oh.” A hot flush crept over my face, and I quickly handed the phone back to him. “I thought it was just a silly picture,” I said defensively.

He threw back his head and laughed. “Well, I think I’m beginning to see why date number three was afraid to meet you.”

“Shut
up.
”

Josh only grinned at me. He glanced back down at the picture, shook his head, then clicked his phone off and tossed it on the table. He slouched in the booth, his gaze moving over me.

I internally squirmed. “What?”

“I see three main problems.”

“Well, what are they?”

“You sure you want to know?”

Now he was just torturing me. “Of course I want to know,” I said, feeling exasperated. “Would I be sitting here in the middle of the night with you if I didn’t?”

He winced and clutched a hand to his chest, as if shot through the heart. Those long-lashed eyes closed dramatically. “Marie, that hurts me. Deeply.” His tone was playful, but I got the impression that I had actually hurt his feelings.

“You knew why I was coming here,” I said. “Either help me, or leave me alone.”

“I’ll help you, but I have conditions.”

“What kind of conditions?”

“If you want to find a vampire, you have to let me help you.”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?”

“No,” he said. “I mean
really
help you. You work at a dating agency, right? You help clients make a match.” He tapped his chest with a finger, and my gaze went to that tight shirt straining over his big shoulders. “I’m an expert on women.”

“I’ll just bet you are,” I said dryly.

Josh tilted his head, as if studying me. “Don’t believe me? I think my track record speaks for itself.”

“Oh, it says something, all right. It says that you know how to bait the hook, but—”

“Bait a hook?” he sputtered, laughing.

“—but I haven’t seen anything that tells me that you know how to have a relationship,” I continued, ignoring his laugh. “You never stick around long enough to find out. You like the chase, Joshua Russell. You get a girl, date her, and then you dump her.”

“If we’re going to compare fishing to women,” he said softly, his eyes gleaming dangerously, “I not only know how to bait the hook but I also know how to reel in my catch. If I’m throwing back what I’m catching, it’s because I’m after a different sort of fish.”

“The one that got away?” I teased.

He laughed, and the tension was gone. “Something like that.”

He made his endless string of dates sound so . . . practical. He stopped dating them because they weren’t what he was looking for. That sounded very reasonable. Or was I just falling under his spell? I sighed. “All right. So how can I catch a vampire?”

“You need to
be caught
by a vampire. There’s a difference, and that’s where I come in. I’ll help you bag a vampire, but you have to take my advice seriously if this is going to work.”

I watched him uneasily. It was a generous offer, and yet . . . “I don’t understand. What are you getting out of this?”

“How about the knowledge that you’ll be safe?” His lips tightened, and I found my gaze going to his warm, curving mouth, framed by a day’s stubble. “You’re human, and you’re pretty much approaching every vampire asking them to date you. That’s not the safest situation, Marie. Get mixed up with the wrong vampire, and you could be in trouble.”

Danger hadn’t been on my mind, it was true. I didn’t care about the consequences. I hated that he was making me slow down and think about them. “So this is your knight in shining armor thing? Like you do with her?” I thumbed a gesture at Carol, on the far side of the restaurant, taking an order from a trucker. “Patron saint of lost causes?”

“No,” he said bluntly. “This is about me giving you what you think you want. I don’t know why on earth you want a vampire, but you’re determined to get one. And since you’re fixed on this course of action,
I’m going to help you.” He picked up his coffee cup, realized it was empty, and reached for mine. “I want you to see that you really
don’t
want a vampire. They’re not like in the movies.”

“I’m not that shallow,” I said quickly. When he brought my cup to his lips and placed his mouth directly over where I’d been drinking, a funny flush went through my body.

“All right, then, maybe I’m the shallow one. Because I see your desire to get it on with a vampire and think that maybe, if I show you how vampires really are, you’ll change your mind.” Those gorgeous eyes focused on my face, making my mouth go dry. A slow, lazy grin began to spread over his face as he drained my coffee and put the cup down. “Maybe you’ll go cougar instead.”

Somehow I didn’t think he was referring to me dating younger men.

Maybe I should have told him the truth. But the words caught in my throat as he continued to grin at me expectantly. The way he was laughing with me, flirting with me . . .

He was treating me like one of the girls he dated.

And call me crazy, but I liked being attractive to him.

“Why me?” I couldn’t help but ask.

I wasn’t pretty like Ryder, or flirty. I wasn’t soft and feminine like Bathsheba. I was all hard angles, dark hair and glasses. I didn’t laugh and joke around like Sara. I was acerbic and distant. What did he see in me that made him stay here? Made him more or
less offer a one-night stand if I changed my mind about dating a vampire?

“Because,” he said slowly, spinning the small coffee cup with his big fingers, “I’ve never met anyone as alone as you, Marie. You hold everyone away from you with that icy frown. You need a thawing.”

He leaned forward, all devastating grin again. “And I’m pretty sure I could make you melt.”

• • •

We left the restaurant after that, with me feeling incredibly flustered and unable to converse with Josh. Despite his talk, he’d paid for my dinner and escorted me back to the agency, then left—probably to give Carol a ride home.