My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish (12 page)

 

 

Mark and Sanj stepped out from behind the door.

“Everything has gone exactly to plan.” Sanj clapped with excitement. “We lied our way into your pathetic little school, we tricked you into bringing the fish with you this morning, we made it so easy for my little moron brother to find our website, and then we tricked you into following Mark up here.”

“Yeah, suckers!” Mark said again.

“And now you are our prisoner.” Sanj paused. “Oh, hi, Sami,” he added.

“Swishy little fishy,” Sami said, wriggling under the net.

“Yes, exactly. So where is the fish?” Sanj said.

I stared at Sanj but said nothing.

“Moron, where's the fish?” Mark grunted and kicked my leg.

“I won't tell,” I said. Just then the lunchbox started crashing around on its own on the floor, steadily bumping toward Mark.

“I think we found it,” said Sanj, reaching down and lifting Frankie's plastic bag out from the lunchbox.

Sanj handed the bag to Mark and picked up his laptop. Frankie was flipping his tail wildly back and forth and his eyes were glow-in-the-dark green. Mark put on his Evil Scientist protective goggles and glared at Frankie. Frankie glared back, harder.

Then Mark turned to Sanj. “So you got it?” he asked, taking off his goggles.

“Yes, thank you, that was sufficient,” Sanj answered.

“Cool. Now we got the zombie stare!” Mark said, tapping the little webcam attached to the side of his goggles. “Wicked! Now I can do whatever I want to the fish, right?” he added, dumping Frankie out of his bag and into a glass beaker that was sitting on top of an unlit Bunsen burner, next to a row of test tubes filled with colored liquid.

“Don't hurt him!” I shouted from under the net, struggling to break free.

“The moron is right for now,” Sanj said. “Let's see if the plan works first before you dispose of the fish. The computer class will all be looking at their screens, so I'll test BBEDLAM's zombie fish-stare hypno-virus on them.”

Sanj hit some buttons on his computer and an image streamed onto the whiteboard in the science lab. He must have set up a secret camera in the computer lab. You could see the back of Mr. Swanson's head and then all the kids in front of him, looking at their computers.

“Sanj, Pradeep is in there. What will it do to him?” I said.

“Let's see.” Sanj smiled an evil smile and hit “send.”

I watched the whiteboard. The millipedes and cockroaches were now using my stomach as a bouncy castle.

I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew it wouldn't be good. Pradeep was right at the back of the classroom, so I couldn't see his face very well, but all the other kids were sitting at their screens and staring like … zombies. Then Pradeep's mom walked into the room and started talking to Mr. Swanson. But as soon as she glanced at a computer screen she immediately stared at the wall and up Mr. Swanson's left nostril. Mr. Swanson was clearly zombified too.

Sami looked at the image of her mom on the whiteboard. “Swishy fishy mommy,” she chanted.

“I think you're right, Sami,” I whispered.

“Mom?” Sanj said, surprised. “Oh well, that will keep her out of the way.”

“Result!” Mark said and punched the air. Then he looked confused. “That's what it was supposed to do—right, Sanj?”

“Yes, it works perfectly. We can upload the zombie hypno-virus onto any computer, and whoever looks at the screen will instantly be hypnotized into being our zombie fish slave. Then we can program them to do whatever we want!” Sanj attempted an evil laugh, but it came out more like a gasping wheeze.

Mark did an absolutely flawless evil laugh. You have to give it to him. Sanj might have smarter plans, but Mark's got the evil laugh down.

“So
now
can I do what I want to the fish?” Mark said.

Just then I heard a crash of breaking glass. Frankie had knocked the beaker off the tripod and was surfing in the rush of water across the lab bench. His eyes glowed a perfect shade of revenge green.

“Stupid moron fish!” Mark shouted, and clambered over the bench toward Frankie.

Frankie dodged Mark's hands as they tried to flatten him. The wave was rolling in one direction—toward the sink at the end of the bench.

“No!” I shouted.

“Swishy little fishy,” Sami squealed.

Mark ran to the sink and held out his hands to catch the fish. But Frankie leaped into the air, thwacked Mark around the face with his tail, did a perfect somersault, and dived directly down the drain. If there were an Olympic event in Zombie Fish Diving, he so would have won the gold!

“Moron fish!” Mark thumped the bench with his fist. “Oww!” he said, and rubbed his hand.

“Oh, get over it, Mark. We have bigger fish to fry.” Sanj smiled at his own joke but Mark just looked confused. “Bigger FISH to fry,” repeated Sanj. Still no reaction. “Oh, never mind.” He sighed. “Now we need to keep these two here so they don't mess up Stage Two of BBEDLAM's plan.”

“What's Stage Two?” Mark and I said at exactly the same time.

“Turning the whole school into fish-stare zombie slaves. Keep up,” Sanj said. “All the little moron brothers and sisters will do whatever I tell them to. Then, who knows, maybe I'll just upload the Zombie Goldfish Virus on the Internet. Soon there'll be fish-stare zombies everywhere.” Sanj paused again. “Now would be a good time for your evil laugh, Mark.”

“I'm not in the mood,” Mark grumped. “I want to hurt that fish and I'm gonna search this school until I find him.” He stormed off.

“Whatever. I don't need you anyway.” Sanj picked up his laptop. “Now I'm going to have a chat with the principal. I'll be back in a second so don't go anywhere.” Sanj attempted an evil laugh, but it just came out wheezy again. “Ahem, ahem.” He pretended he was clearing his throat and then followed Mark out of the lab.

Sami was still looking over at the sink. “Swishy fishy gone?” she mumbled. With Frankie gone, Sami came out of her trance. She didn't look fish-starey anymore, just kind of sad.

“Frankie will be OK, Sami, as long as we find him before Mark does,” I said. “I'm more worried about Pradeep.”

What if my best friend was now a zombie fish slave?

 

 

I took my compass and protractor out of my pocket and used them to cut a hole in the net. I'm not sure what you're actually supposed to use them for, but they're pretty handy for poking holes in stuff. And I never thought I would be so grateful for math equipment.

I freed Sami and we both headed straight down to the computer room. Everyone was still and silent, and totally zombified. Sami ran up to her mom.

“Swishy fishy mommy.” She tugged on her mom's skirt, but Mrs. Kumar didn't move.

Then, from my walkie-talkie I heard some clicks:

SHORT SHORT LONG
,

SHORT SHORT LONG
,

SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT LONG
.

It was “Jingle Bells”! “Pradeep, where are you?” I whispered, looking around the classroom.

“Under here,” Pradeep whispered back. Sami and I ran to his desk and found him hiding underneath it.

“We thought you'd been zombified,” I said.

Sami crawled under the desk and hugged Pradeep. “Ahh. Not swishy fishy,” she said.

“I ducked under the desk when Mom came in,” explained Pradeep, “so I missed whatever it was that did this to them. I swear I saw a close-up picture of Frankie's eyes on the screen before I jumped under the desk.”

“Sanj and Mark figured out a way to turn Frankie's zombie stare into a computer virus,” I told him. “They tested it on the computer class and now they're going to zombify the whole school and then the whole world!”

“Wow, they
are
thinking big.” Pradeep paused. “OK, if it's our big brothers who are going to try to take over the world, then I guess it's up to us to stop them.”

We high-fived.
It was the kind of moment that called for a high five
, I thought.

“So, where are Sanj and Mark now?” Pradeep asked. “And where's Frankie?”

“Sanj has gone to find Mrs. Prentice, to zombify her, I think, and Frankie is somewhere in the water pipes. He escaped down a drain! Mark is trying to find him—he's probably checking every sink and toilet in the school.”

We heard footsteps in the hall and then Sanj's voice, along with Mrs. Prentice's. I dropped down under the desk with Sami and Pradeep.

“Does Sanj think I was zombified?” Pradeep whispered.

I nodded.

“Then I can go undercover and see what he's going to do. No one will suspect a fish zombie,” he said, and then slowly sat back up in his chair.

I tugged on Pradeep's pant leg and when he looked down at me I did zombie eyes at him to remind him to put on the stare. He immediately started staring up Susan Renwick's left nostril and at the wall. Pradeep is a pro.