My Blue River (28 page)

********

Just weeks before the school play, Jack dropped a bomb on me. We were standing in front of our lockers at the end of the day when he shared his big news, which caused me to yell, “YOU WHAT!?” I was irritated beyond all reason.

“Shhh…” Jack responded as he looked around with embarrassment. My tone was drawing the attention of others. “I said…I told Mrs. Thomas I would play the part of George in the school play,” he repeated.

I stood staring at him in disbelief until he asked, “Why do you have a problem with this, Addy?”

“Because hot new girl Brooke is playing EMILY!” I huffed and slammed my locker door shut. I folded my arms over my chest and turned to face him. “There’s a KISS in that play, Jack.” I spat the words.

He lowered his voice hoping I would mirror his tone. “I know. I talked to Mrs. Thomas about that, too. It’s no big deal. Besides, she may let me just kiss Brooke’s cheek and I’ll be thinking of you.” He rubbed my arm to soothe me but I pulled away. “Addy, Mrs. Thomas is desperate. Everybody thinks there is going to be a spring play and nobody wants to play George. Well, actually, I guess Zeek said he would do it, then he found out Sallie wasn’t playing Emily and well, you can imagine why he backed out.”

“There has got to be some other idiot willing to play George just to get a chance to kiss Brooke!” I snapped each word. A few people took notice of our conversation but kept on walking. At this point, even I felt embarrassed of my actions.

“So now I’m an
idiot
for helping out Mrs. Thomas?” whispered Jack. He looked hurt by my insinuation and I couldn’t blame him. I was being cruel because if I were to be honest with myself, I knew Jack was doing it to help her and our school and not to hurt me.

“Hmpf!” I grunted.

“Addy…come on…” He pulled me close. “It’s no big deal. I’ll kiss her cheek instead.” He gave me his trademark puppy dog eyes.

“Really?” My voice was pathetic and child-like.

“Really.” He kissed my forehead. There was no denying I trusted him and believed even if he kissed her on the lips, it would mean nothing. He’d simply be acting the part of George while in real life, he was mine.

********

An insane and unexpected snow storm took over Blue River and although I found it incredibly freaky to deal with snow in spring, I found myself relieved that it meant delaying the play. However, tonight the storm was gone and the play was upon us. After weeks of dealing with Jack being too busy to see me because he was rehearsing for the play, the joy of it coming to an end was dashed when he announced that Mrs. Thomas insisted he plant a kiss on Brooke’s lips telling him, “It will completely ruin the effect of the moment if you don’t kiss her on the lips.”

The play was going well and as I suspected, Jack had acting skills. He was a fantastic George. The scene I had been dreading had arrived. Jack and Brooke were in the midst of the wedding scene in Act II and it was time for the kiss. I had become the resident photographer of Blue River High School, but when the moment arrived that I should be photographing “George” and “Emily’s” affection, I covered my eyes with parted my fingers, peaking through the cracks to the scene. I couldn’t bear seeing it straight on and there was no way I would photograph the moment. After Jack gave Brooke the very, quick kiss, leaving her lips hanging mid-air for more, he pulled back and said, “I love you, Ad—Em—Em-i-ly.” I wasn’t even sure that was the correct next line in the play. He flushed tomato red and there was a collective intake of breath from the audience sprinkled with a few giggles. My jaw hit the floor. It was a good thing the camera was strapped around my neck because my arms fell to my sides. I knew in my heart he was so caught up in the wedding scene that he was just about to say, “I love you, Addy!” and it sounded very good to my ears.

********

Like the flowers and plants bursting forth with new life with the coming of spring, so was Claire’s belly. By May, she was ready for an ultrasound which would tell her the baby’s gender and for some reason her mother was unable to take her to Middleburg. I offered to take her and score one for Maggie Davis—she allowed me to miss half a day of school so I could drive Claire to her appointment.

Once we were there, she asked me to stay. This was actually a big day for her. She said she had endured so much alone thus far, that she really wanted to share this moment with someone special. I couldn’t help but tear up when she told me she had thought of me first.

As the sonographer started the ultrasound, my eyes popped out of my head.
There’s a baby in Claire’s tummy! I mean, I knew that, but seeing really is believing!
The sonographer took a bunch of the baby’s measurements—heart, head, lungs, bladder—you name it, she measured it.

“I had a dream about the sex of your baby, and I must warn you, some of my dreams have come true in the past,” I told Claire as I held her hand.

This wasn’t a dangerous procedure by any means, but Claire seemed nervous. I think she thought she’d find the baby had four arms and two heads. She had confessed to me she had champagne the night the baby was conceived. The doctor assured her that although alcohol is not good for a baby, the small amount she had so early in the pregnancy was fine, but warned her to maintain a healthy, drug-and-alcohol-free diet for the duration of the pregnancy.

“Really? What did you dream?” asked Claire.

The sonographer looked up. “Do you want to know the sex?” she asked Claire.

“Yeah, but I want to hear what Addy thinks it is first,” replied Claire as she smiled up at me.

“I dreamed it’s a girl,” I announced.

Claire looked at the sonographer who smiled and said, “She’s right. It’s a girl.”

A tear escaped Claire’s eye as she whispered, “I really wanted a girl.” For a moment we were silent. I assumed she was absorbing the moment of the first images of her baby when she shocked me by asking, “Should I be keeping this baby?”

The sonographer quickly interjected, “I’m all done here so I’ll leave you two alone.” She was obviously very uncomfortable with the upcoming conversation as she quickly wiped the ultrasound jelly from Claire’s belly, printed a couple of pictures for Claire to keep then excused herself.

Once the sonographer left the room, I asked, “Why would you ask me that?”

“I don’t know. I’m scared. I wonder if I can do this alone. I don’t know what I’m doing, Addy! I’m only eighteen. How can I be a mother?” More tears were forming in Claire’s eyes.

I thought for a moment, carefully choosing my words. “Claire, I can’t answer that for you. Only you know if you’re able to give this baby up for adoption. If this were me, then yes, I would probably have to give the baby up. I’m too selfish to be a mother right now, but this is you. You’re
not
selfish. You’re kind, you’re generous and most of all, you are very, very patient. Remember my mom’s lecture?”

“I thought you didn’t listen,” teased Claire.

“I didn’t have to because I’ve heard her a million times. She emphasized the importance of patience when parenting and the support of others when you’re a
teen
mother. You can do this. You’ve got a lot of support. A lot of people love you and love this baby, Claire. Ethan may not be around but that’s okay. You have all of us.” I leaned closer to her and continued, “Besides, I think you’re already attached to this baby girl.”

She nodded in agreement and replied, “Yeah, I am.”

I added, “And I think you’ve already named her.” I patted her tummy.

She smiled back, sniffed a tear and announced, “Samantha Kaye.”

23. Royalty

As I walked down the hallway of Blue River High School in the first part of May, I was handed a flyer that read:

“Junior – Senior Prom Meeting, Today at 2:00 pm, in the Library. All Juniors and Seniors welcome—please attend! We need a committee and a theme! See you there!”

“Are you going?” asked Sallie.

“Hmm?” I was so lost in thought I hadn’t really heard her question. Every day I found myself missing Claire.

I had just seen her baby on an ultrasound days before and was finding it hard to recover from the reality of her changing life. Her growing belly was making her uncomfortable, both socially and physically, so she decided to complete her senior year through correspondence courses from home. She would still walk through the graduation ceremony with us in June, but until then, she would be out of sight and out of mind, or so she hoped.

“I’m sorry, what Sallie?” I asked.

“The prom committee meeting…are you going? That stupid spring snow made us put off the play and then we had to put off the prom and now we really need to hurry if we’re ever going to pull it all together,” she repeated her question while adding the urgency of the school’s situation. She was speaking so fast I could barely follow her. If I hadn’t known better I would have thought this was an actual emergency.

“Oh. That. I doubt it. That’s not really my thing.” I lied.
It’s my thing back in California, but not here
. After all these months, I still felt a little unwanted and out of place. I felt like a reigning queen who had been demoted to chamber maid.

Sallie’s persistence paid off for her though, and by the afternoon she had convinced me to go the prom committee meeting. If she wasn’t so adorable, it would been easier to resist her, but her wide-eyed innocence got to me. I had to hand it to her; she knew how to work it.

The class president, Jill, conducted the meeting. There was so much banter about what the theme should be I didn’t bother to interject one word. One person wanted it to be cowboys and cowgirls, another wanted to go retro with a disco theme while someone else wanted the 80s—I was actually a little surprised there were so many opinions. I stared out the window, thinking of how much Claire would have been entertained by this meeting. It would have amused her how some of the girls were practically in tears because their ideas were being rejected. I inadvertently snickered out loud which caught Jill’s attention.

“Well, I haven’t heard
you
give an idea, Addy. What are you laughing about?” snapped Jill. She was becoming frustrated with the lack of progress her meeting was having.

I flushed with embarrassment. I hadn’t meant to draw attention to myself. “Nothing. I was just thinking of something else,” I lied.

“Well, do you have an idea or not? You’ve lived in a big city. You must have a sick idea,” said Jill. Sick didn’t roll off her tongue like it should have and I really didn’t like her tone, but I let it go.
What would I say anyway?

“Sorry. No, I don’t.”

“You should,” insisted Sallie. “You’re the only one who’s experienced life outside Blue River, Montana, and you’re the only one living a real life fairy-tale.”

“What?” I asked.

“Jack. Being with him must be like living a fairy-tale,” Sallie replied.

I sat up straight and became interested because she was right. I did have an idea and it would appeal to every girl in the room and make every boy groan in despair.

I declared, “Sallie has an idea.”

“I do?” She furrowed her brows.

“Yes. You do. You just said it—
Fairy-tale Dreams
. We could dress up as princesses and princes. We don’t even have to be specific princesses, we could have just one night where we feel like a princess…one night where we don’t see cowboy hats and cowboy boots, even though at the end of the night there will be one prom king and one prom queen, we could all wear tiaras and crowns, flowing dresses, lots of roses, lots of glitter…stuff like that.”

“Trust me…you’ll still see cowboy boots,” insisted Sallie. Everybody laughed, but they soon launched into what a great idea it was. As predicted, the boys groaned, but the reality was they were only there to impress the girl they were going to ask to the prom anyway. We had our theme and Sallie was right, life with Jack was like living a fairy-tale dream. I couldn’t wait to experience Blue River’s Prom with my Prince Charming.

I shared the details of prom with Claire that night. She seemed sad to be missing it. I told her I was certain Jack wouldn’t mind if she went with us to the prom.

She laughed and said, “That’s silly….a single, pregnant princess. I would have been beheaded by now but I’ll help you get ready. I can’t wait to see how you guys look all dressed up.”

********

The committee spent the next several weeks planning the prom after school. Jack complained it was eating into his time with me to which I responded, “Our Town” which caused him to quickly let it go. One night, I realized he hadn’t actually asked me to go to the prom.

“So do I have a date for this prom?” I asked one warm, spring night while we sat on the front porch swing.

His head snapped to look at me. “Seriously?” he asked with a look of disbelief.

“I need a prince you know.” I tried to look cute.

He put his arm around me. “Of course you have a date. Nobody is getting
my
princess…okay, wait…that’s awkward…your dad always calls you princess.”

“Hmm…that’s true. I guess I’ll just have to be your queen.” I laid my head against his shoulder. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head. The thought of being Jack’s queen was very pleasing.

“And you shall be treated as a queen,” he declared.

********

Two weeks later, prom night arrived. I hadn’t bothered to shop for a dress because just like with homecoming, I had plenty of dresses that no one in Blue River had ever seen. I actually felt a little proud of myself for being so frugal. Claire was with me in my bedroom, working my hair into a slick French-twist when we heard my mom’s voice come through the door.

“Come in,” I replied.

Mom opened the door slowly, almost with apprehension. “Hey, girls—how’s it coming?” She pushed through the door carrying an enormous box.

“There! It’s done!” announced Claire as she finalized her work with hairspray.

As she entered the room, I kept a curious eye on the box she was holding.

“Claire, do you mind if I have a minute alone with Addy?” asked Mom.

“Oh, of course not, no problem, Mrs. Davis,” replied Claire. She left the room and I heard her go down the stairs.

“Wow. That’s quite the box, Mom,” I pointed at it.

“Yes. It is…and…it’s for you.” Mom held it out for me to take. “I feel like I’ve got some things to make up to you, so I got you this as a start to a new beginning.” I didn’t move. I didn’t take it.
I must be in shock because my lips won’t move!

Since I didn’t react, Mom placed the box on the bed. I walked to it and slowly lifted the lid. I stared in amazement. Inside the box was the most beautiful prom dress I had ever seen. It was champagne colored with a tulle shirred bodice. It glittered with hundreds of tiny sequins. It would have looked like a strapless dress if not for the wide, sheer shoulder straps that would fall ever so slightly onto my arms. The bodice was met with cascading lace that was sprinkled with beads over a ball gown skirt that touched the floor. It looked exactly like what a princess would wear. My mother didn’t often make me speechless, but on this day, she had done just that.

“Mom…I…I…” I just kept shaking my head in disbelief. In the back of my mind, I knew I should thank her then embrace her, but I was still trying to understand what she meant by new beginning and by her offering this gift.

“Addy, I really wanted you to have a special dress for this prom and don’t worry, your colors will match your prince’s perfectly.”

My mouth fell open.
Now I’m really in shock
. I wanted to be strong and unaffected by her gesture, but tears soon formed in my eyes. She must have had to special order the dress months ago and she had even been thoughtful enough to make sure Jack and I matched. My brain finally told me how to react as I reached out and hugged her. I knew if I spoke I would cry even more so I let the gesture speak for itself. She understood all too well. When it came to us communicating, our words usually had an edge to them that cut both ways so this moment was new to us. She gave me one last squeeze then left the room saying she’d see me downstairs for pictures. I saw her swipe at a tear as she left my bedroom.

By the time Claire returned, I had already changed and was twirling around in the dress, feeling like an actual princess. She stood in the doorway gaping at me.

“Oh, hey, Claire.” I stopped twirling, flushing with embarrassment that she’d found me acting as a little girl playing dress-up.

“You—look—
amazing
!” Her eyes scanned me from head-to-toe. “Seriously, you look exactly like a real-life princess.” Claire’s expression was torn between happiness for me and sadness for herself. She would never see her senior prom. She would never be able to turn back time in order to experience every moment a young girl shouldn’t miss. She would never wear a dress like this and, at the moment, she didn’t have a prince to call her own. She was, as she said, a single, pregnant, princess. I suddenly felt guilty for leaving her alone tonight.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” I asked one last time.

“I
definitely
don’t want to go with you. Unless it’s a toga themed party, I’ll never fit in a dress…especially one like
that!
” She pointed to the dress, still amazed by its beauty.

I tried to be humble, but I couldn’t help but feel giddy. “I know…it’s gorgeous! Can you believe my mom got me this?” I twirled around despite myself.

“You and Jack are going to look perfect together, seriously, I’m so happy I’m here to see this.”

My prince was right on time in his Jeep Wrangler chariot. My dad announced Jack’s arrival. I gave one last check to my makeup and dress but I must have lost track of time because by the time I left my bedroom, Jack was already waiting. Between the dress and shoes, I took my time descending the stairs. It felt like I was in a really romantic, slow motion, movie—
I love this movie!

I must have looked pretty good to Jack because he was speechless. He looked at me just as Claire had earlier—from head-to-toe with his jaw dropped. I wore just enough of a heel on my shoes to get my height a little closer to Jack’s lips, so I planted a kiss before he had time to back away with his usual shyness.

How I looked was nothing compared to how my guy looked. Jack was beyond handsome. I had half-expected something with a Western flare to his tuxedo but he was wearing a trendy tuxedo with a cummerbund and matching tie, the champagne color of my dress. He looked very much like the prince I saw in my dreams as a young girl.

He held two boxes. One contained a wrist corsage and the other a very delicate rhinestone tiara. “I can’t go with a princess who doesn’t have a tiara, right?” said Jack as he placed the tiara on my head. We stood staring into each other’s eyes, unable to wipe the silly grins from our faces. We were lost in our own little world when my mother interrupted us with the clearing of her throat.

We snapped from our moment that had seemed timeless, turning around to see everyone else was waiting for us, even Aaron was there but that wouldn’t last long.

“Shouldn’t we take pictures before you leave?” asked Mom.

“Ugh. You guys are nauseating,” grunted Aaron as he left the room.

“Don’t go too far, young man. Remember you’re grounded,” Dad called out to him.