My Enemy, the Queen (24 page)

es, Madam,I said quietly.

I could scarcely wait to get away. It must be true. She would not have said it otherwise. But why was she telling me, and was there really a hint of malicious triumph in her voice or had I imagined it?

What had she heard? What did she know? Was this mere gossip or was it her way of telling me that Robert was not for me?

I was angry and fearful. I must see Robert without delay and demand an explanation. To my intense dismay I learned that he had left Court. He had gone to Buxton, on the advice of his doctors, to take the baths. I knew that whenever he was in a difficult situation he feigned illness. He had done this several times when he was in danger with the Queen. It always had the effect of softening her, for she could never bear to think of his being seriously ill. I felt angry. I was almost certain that his departure was due to the fact that he could not face me.

So it was true, then, that he was hoping to marry the Princess Cecilia!

I knew that she had visited England at one time. She was the sister of King Eric of Sweden, who had been one of Elizabeth suitors; and there had been a rumor at the time that if Robert Dudley would persuade the Queen to take Eric, his reward would be the hand of Eric sister, Cecilia. It could not have been much of a dilemma for Robert, who at that time had been certain that the Queen husband would be himself and it was hardly likely that he would consider Cecilia fair exchange for his royal mistress. Elizabeth had prevaricated with Eric as with all her suitors and in due course Cecilia had married the Margrave of Baden. They had visited England together, a country Cecilia declared she yearned to see, but it was suspected that her motive in bringing her bridegroom to pay his respects to the Queen was in fact to urge her to take Eric for her husband.

She had arrived in winter, heavily pregnant. With her extraordinarily long fair hair, which she wore loose, she was so appealing that she won immediate popularity. Her son was christened in the Chapel Royal at Whitehall and the Queen herself stood as godmother.

Unfortunately the happy parents stayed too long and, being under the impression that they were guests of the country, ran up debts which they could not pay. This meant that the Margrave was forced to make an attempt to evade his creditors, was caught and put in jail. A very odd experience for visiting royalty and when the news of what had happened was brought to the Queen, she immediately paid his debts.

But they no longer had a happy impression of England, particularly as, when Cecilia was about to sail for her home, more creditors boarded the ship and took her belongings away with them. It was an unfortunate episode and the Margrave and his wife must have wished they had never set foot in England.

But now that the Margrave was dead and Cecilia a widow, Robert wished to marry her.

I asked myself again and again why I loved him. I kept going over the story of Amy Robsart. Uneasily I thought again and again of the death of Lord Sheffield and my own Walter, and I asked myself: Could this really be coincidence? And if not there was only one terrible conclusion to be drawn.

But my passion for Robert Dudley was not unlike the Queen. Nothing that could be proved against him could alter it.

So now I was in a fury of impatience to see him. I was haunted by the fear that we should never marry, and that he was ready to throw me aside for a royal princess just as he had been ready to throw Douglass aside for me.

The Queen was in high good humor.

ur gentleman is not acceptable, it seems,she told me. oor Robin and foolish Cecilia! I swear if she came here and he wooed her, she submit.

I was unable to stop myself: ot all those who are wooedeven by Robert Dudleyubmit.

She was not displeased.

Tis true,she said. ut he is a man it is not easy to resist.

can believe it, Madam,I replied.

er brother, the King of Sweden, says he cannot believe she would wish to come to England after what happened on her last visit. So Robin is refused.

My relief was overwhelming. I felt as though I had been reborn. He would return now and I would hear from his own lips what had happened about the Swedish Princess.

Of course he had his answer.

y God, Lettice, did you think I would marry anyone but you?

t would have been inconvenient for you if the Princess had said yes.

epend upon it I should have found a way out.

t would not have been enough to go to Buxton to take the waters.

h, Lettice, you know me well.

ometimes I fear too well, my lord.

h come, come. The Queen decides I must offer Cecilia marriage. She does this kind of thing now and then to tease me, although both she and I know that nothing will come of it. What can I do but play along? Now, Lettice, you and I are going to marry. I am determined on that.

know the Princess has refused you but there are obstaclesthe Queen and Douglass.

ouglass is of no importance. She willingly became my mistress knowing full well that there would be no marrying. She has none but herself to blame.

erself and your devastating charms!

m I to be taken to task for them?

or making promises that you have no intention of keeping you are.

assure you the position was always clear to Douglass.

s you would doubtless say it was with me. But we have talked of marriage, my lord.

ye, and marriage there shall be and that before long.

here is still the Queen.

y yes, we must indeed take care where she is concerned.

he might even decide to marry you herself to prevent my doing so.

he will never marry. She has a fear of that state. Do you think I have known her all this time without realizing that. Have patience, Lettice. Believe in me. You and I shall marry, but we must go carefully. The Queen must not know of it until it is a fact and it must not be a fact until some little time has elapsed since your husband death. We know our minds but we must be cautious.

Then he said we wasted time in talk, for we both knew each other mind and needs; so we made love as I had begun to think only we could; and as usual I forgot my misgivings when I was with him.

Robert had acquired a house about six miles out of London and he had spent a great deal of time and money on enlarging it and making it splendid. It had been granted by Edward VI to Lord Rich, from whom Robert had bought it. It had a magnificent hall ifty-three by forty-fivend a number of beautifully proportioned rooms. Robert had made it a fashion to lay handsome carpets on the floor and these were replacing the rushes in all his houses. The Queen was very interested and I went with the Court to Wanstead, where Robert put on one of his lavish entertainments.

We were able to meet now and then, but these meetings always must be conducted in the utmost secrecy and I was beginning to be irked by this. I could never be entirely sure of Robert and I believe this was one of the reasons why I was so infatuated with him. There was such an element of clanger in our relationship that it inevitably added to the excitement.

his will be one of our favorite houses,he told me. enilworth always will be first because it was there that we declared our love.

I retorted that the one in which we were married would be my favorite because it had taken us so long to reach that state.

He was constantly soothing me, placating me. He had quite a gift for it. Robert was a smooth-spoken person, which belied his ruthlessness and was in itself a little sinister. He was almost always courteousxcept when he lost his tempernd this could be very deceptive.

It was while we were at Wanstead that I again heard rumors about Douglass Sheffield.

he is very ill,one of the Queen women whispered to me. have heard her hair is falling out and her nails breaking off. It is expected that she will not last long.

hat illness is this she is suffering from?I asked.

My informant looked over my shoulder and, bringing her lips to my ear, whispered: oison.

onsense!I said sharply. ho would want to remove Douglass Sheffield?

omeone who must get her out of the way.

nd who might that be?

The woman shut her lips tightly and shrugged her shoulders.

t is said that she has had a child by a very important man. It could be that he is the one who finds her an encumbrance.

t could indeed be so if this talk be true,I answered casually.

I waited for news of Douglass Sheffield death, but it did not come.

Sometime later I heard that she had gone to the country to recover.

So Douglass lived on.

It was the New Year, time for giving gifts to the Queen. She had been complaining about her hair, which was rarely dressed to her satisfaction, and I brought her two wigs for her to tryne black and one yellow, together with two ruffs trimmed with seed pearls.

She seized the wigs and, seated before the mirror, tried them on, demanding to know which suited her best; and as the Queen must look perfect on every occasion it was impossible to give her the truth.

I thought the black one made her look old, and as I knew it would displease her sooner or later and she would be reminded who gave it to her, I ventured: our Majesty skin is so white and delicate that the black against it is too coarse.

ut does it not show the contrast?she demanded.

es, Madam, it does call attention to your flawless skin, but please may we try the golden one?

She did and declared herself satisfied with it.

ut I shall try out the black,she told me.

Then she put on Robert gift to her. It was a necklet of gold set with diamonds, opals and rubies.

s that not magnificent?she demanded.

I said it was indeed.

She patted it tenderly. e knows well my taste in jewels,she commented; and I thought how ironical it was to be called upon to applaud a lover taste in the expensive gifts he gave to another woman.

She was perverse during the months which followed, and again the thought occurred to me that she knew something. I wondered whether she was remembering how Robert had persuaded her to send Walter back to Ireland and how he had died soon afterwards. She seemed watchful of me and kept me beside her.

I fancied Robert was aware of her attitude. He talked often to her of his swollen legse suffered from gout nownd hinted that his doctor was suggesting more visits to Buxton. I presumed he wanted to be ready for flight if the occasion should arise when it would be convenient for him to be out of the way.

She fussed about him and watched what he ate at table and told him with some asperity that he must eat and drink less.

ook at me!she cried. am neither too lean nor too fat. And why is this? Because I do not stuff myself like a pig, nor drink until I stupid in the head.

Sometimes she would snatch the food from his platter and declare that if he would not take better care of his health she would.

Robert did not know whether to be pleased or anxious, for there was that undoubted touch of asperity in her attitude towards him. Yet when he did go to Buxton she wanted to know how he fared and became melancholy and irritable with us all.

Robert was at Buxton when I accompanied the Queen on one of her summer journeys round the country and in due course we arrived at Wanstead, where Robert servants greeted us with all the display their master would have wished.

ut it is not the same, Lettice,said the Queen. hat would Kenilworth have been without him?

Sometimes it occurred to me that she was thinking she would marry him after all; but I supposed that, as she grew older, those emotions which she might have experienced when she was young were less insistent; and she grew more and more in love with her crown and the power it brought her. Yet when Robert was not with her there was always a change in her. Christopher Hatton, for all his good looks and dancing skill, could never be to her what Robert was. I was sure that she used Hatton to arouse Robert jealousy, for she must have known that there were women in Robert life since she had never given him the satisfaction a normal man needs and she was determined to show him that it was only her passionate devotion to the preservation of virginity which prevented her having as many lovers as he had.

When I realized increasingly how much Robert meant to her I grew very uneasy.

Robert had had a room at Wanstead made into what was called the Queen Chamber. Throughout the house he indulged his love of extravagant splendor, but the chamber set aside for the Queen must naturally surpass all others. The bed was gilded and the walls covered with tinsel cloth so that it shimmered as the light caught it; and, knowing her addiction to cleanliness, he had had a hothouse installed so that she could take baths when she was there.

is a fine place, Lettice,she said, ut it cannot fail to be dull lacking the presence of its master.

She sent word to him that she was at Wanstead and his reply delighted her. She read it to me.

oor Robin,she declared, e is beside himself with frustration. He cannot bear to think of my being here and he not at hand to get his players to work for my pleasure and to get off his fireworks. I tell you this: The sight of him would mean more to me than all the plays and fireworks in my kingdom. He says that had he known I was going there, my Eyes would have left Buxton whatever the doctors said. And so he would.

She folded the letter and tucked it into her bosom.

I fervently wished she were less devoted to him. I knew that whenr perhaps ife married, there would be dire trouble; and there was something else which made me uneasy. I believed I was pregnant. I was not sure whether this was good or not, for I saw in it a chance of bringing matters to a conclusion.

I would not have another miscarriage if I could help it. The last had depressed me considerably, for there was a side to my nature which surprised me. I did love my children, and they meant more to me than I would have believed possible; and when I thought of those I would have by Robert, I was very happy. But if we were to have a family, now was the time to begin.

The Queen ministers had never ceased to urge her to marry, for there was constant anxiety as to the succession. They reckoned that if she would marry immediately there might still be time for her to give the country an heir. She was forty-five. Yes, it was late in life to begin childbearing, but her body was in good state. She had never abused it by overdrinking and overeating; she had taken regular exercise; she tired most of us out with her dancing; she rode and walked and was full of energy, both physical and mental. So they believed there might just be time.