My Heart Can't Tell You No (72 page)

Maddie looked up at Joe with amusement as she took his hand, amazed to see for the first time in her life, a pink hue to his cheeks. She couldn’t help thinking about what a kick Lew would be getting out of this conversation.

“Can’t keep nothing from you, can we, Vesta?” Harry said in a smiling voice.

“Not if I can help it. Where’s
his
wife anyway? Didn’t he have a flock of kids too?” She gestured toward the front of the room, toward Lew’s body.

“They’ll be arriving soon,” Harry told her.

“I think I’ll go back for a cigarette.” Joe stood up and started back for the waiting room.

“Daddy. Me too?” Robby whispered loudly, then ran after his father.

“I think I’ll come too.” John stood up and followed in their direction.

“Daddy, Lew’s sleeping. Shouldn’t we wake him up?”

“No, Robby.” Joe took the boy’s hand and started for the waiting room.

“Is that why we’re being so quiet? So he can sleep?”

“Yes.”

Joe was in and out of the waiting room throughout the night. Whenever the urge for a cigarette would rise, he’d go off but always return to Maddie’s side and just behind Sarah. It seemed to Maddie, that whenever the situation would become too heavy for her to bare, she only had to look up and Joe would be returning to her.

It was especially hard for Maddie when she watched Janet enter the room with her two oldest sons, Lewis and Edward, and her thirteen-year-old daughter. Janet seemed to be walking in a trance—not seeing anyone but her husband as he lay before her. With a son on each arm, she seemed to sag before they shuffled her to the first row of seats. Her daughter stood helplessly at the coffin, her sobbing bending her young body as she leaned over her father until Edward finally made his way back to her and took her to a seat. With half of Lew’s children in the room with him, his other half remained in the waiting room, refusing to come out and look at him. The most adamant was his oldest daughter; she politely put off whomever suggested she come out. At sixteen, she was turning into a beautiful flower. Many there declared her resemblance to Sarah that night. Not many, though, knew of the special bond she had with her father. She had the sensitivity to always know when he was ill and needed help—and now a complete helplessness to do anything for him.

The number of visitors who came to the funeral home that night was spectacular. Friends of Lew’s who would go immediately to Janet and offer their condolences, and relatives who would say a few words to Janet then go straight for their Aunt Sarah—even though, by that time, Lew’s two other sisters were sitting near, and his brother Harry was forever hovering over Sarah, they went to
her
. Maddie noticed the gleaming love she saw in each of her older cousins; cousins she was too young to know well, for most of Sarah’s sisters and brothers had been completing their line of children by the time Sarah was starting hers. How many of them came to Sarah to hold her hand and turn to Maddie with stories of how she had taken them to town for ice cream—or made them a pretty dress—or sat on a porch swing listening to their childish chatter when everyone else was too busy. There was a special pride in her eyes as Maddie watched her cousins come and always
reluctantly
leave when others came up for their turn. Each friendly enough, but determined to tell Maddie and John their stories, as if they were trying to tell them she was
theirs
first. And Maddie couldn’t help seeing the glow of motherhood that entered her mother’s eyes as she would gaze at each of these full-grown adults. Sarah Baker was a special person to these people—just as the man was who had brought them all there.

Maddie looked up at her mother. Sarah and Lew were alike—just as they were opposites. The characteristic they had most in common was their enormous hearts. Oh, how they had loved Lew, just as they all loved Sarah.

Maddie felt drained as Joe drove them home with a sleeping Robby and a tired Jackie. She could only imagine how her mother was feeling. They’d stop to check on her before going home and girding themselves to start all over again the next day.

CHAPTER XLI
 

T
he day of the funeral dawned with a crisp brightness that belied the frigid blast of the outside air. Joe had been sitting in the living room waiting for Sarah to get dressed. Robby was wrapped in a thick quilt as he lay with his head on the arm of the couch, watching early morning syndicated programs. Jackie was wrapped in a similar blanket as he sat on the floor. John was due any minute with his daughter, dropping her off for his father to watch.

“Maddie, come in here a minute,” Sarah called from her bedroom.

“What’s wrong?” Maddie entered the bedroom with her, and, although Joe couldn’t see the two women, he could hear their every word.

“Nothing. Snap this.”

“There ya go. All snapped,” she said after a long moment.

“Maddie, wait. Tell me something—was it my imagination or did you walk up from
your
house and Joey walk up from
his
house this morning?”

“No, it wasn’t your imagination. That’s where we slept.”

“I thought you moved back together—finally.”

“No, I stayed down at his place the night Lew died. But I’ve been staying at home the past two nights.”

“Okay,” Sarah said slowly. “Then tell me
this
.
Is
that—or
isn’t
that an engagement ring on your finger?”

“It is.” Maddie’s voice was amused.

“Then why . . . ,” Sarah paused. “Never mind. I like it—the ring I mean.”

“So do I.”

“So why are you still living apart?”

“As cold as it was, we didn’t want to shuffle the boys from his house to yours.”

“Why didn’t he just sleep down at your place then?”

“Probably because he didn’t like the idea of jumping out in this weather first thing in the morning just to go down for a change of clothes.”

“He could have brought his clothes up with him.”

“If you really want the truth, we just haven’t had time to think things out these past three days,” Maddie sighed. “I haven’t even asked him what he’s going to do.”

“Marry you—I take it.”

“
Mm-hmm
. That much we’ve decided. But we haven’t got around to telling the boys yet. Jackie’s been impossible since Lew died. He won’t even
look
at Joe. And the things he said when Joe told him about Lew—I couldn’t deal with it, at least until we’re past the services today.”

“Well,” Sarah came out of the bedroom as she moved into the kitchen. She was such a lovely woman—clothed in a dress of light blue, with her head held high. She was everything to be admired. “He’ll get over it. If he’s given half a chance. But if he
doesn’t
get over it—what then?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you going to continue putting off the wedding just because Jackie doesn’t approve?”

“I—don’t know.”

Jack Baker entered the kitchen from the porch, his breathing telling everyone it was
extremely
cold outside. His steps carried him into the living room where he sat on a chair next to a heating vent. “The car’s started—and the heater’s already on. So, by the time you get out there, it should be warm enough.”

The front door opened again and two pairs of feet rushed across the kitchen floor.

“Well, look at you!” Maddie laughed. “You look like a frozen turkey.”

“It’s cold.” Jenna’s voice vibrated with a huge shiver before John carried her into the room, bundled inside two blankets.

“Sit her here,” Jack smiled as he looked up at them. “I’ll warm ya up.”

“Pappy—it’s cold out there!” Jenna told him as John placed her on his father’s lap.

“I know,” Jack told her. “The thermometer reads fifteen degrees—but that wind’s taking it down to about ten below.”

“Ten below?” she asked as he unwrapped her.

Joe got to his feet and went to the kitchen. The sight of Maddie fixing a thin chain around Sarah’s neck was breathtaking. The two women he loved most in the world. Joe looked at Maddie, her dark hair traveling down well past her shoulders now. She was a combination of youth and maturity, a combination of soft motherhood and heated desirability. When his eyes moved to her face, she glanced up at him, a tiny smile of knowledge curving her perfect lips, before looking back to the gold chain she was fixing for her mother.

“You two ready?” he finally asked.

“As soon as Tom gets down here,” Sarah told him.

“Then he’s going with us?”

“
Mm-hmm
. He can drive if you like,” Sarah told him. “Then you can sit in the back with Maddie.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Joe picked up his jacket and pulled it on, then reached for Sarah’s coat, holding it for her as she slipped her arms into the sleeves.

“Are you two leaving now?” Sarah asked Beth.

“We thought we’d follow you out.”

“I’m ready.” Tom came down the steps toward them.

“You driving?” Joe helped Maddie with her coat.

“I can.” Tom pulled a pair of gloves out of his pockets, knowing the touch of the steering wheel would nearly burn him with its coldness.

“What’s this?” Sarah asked Joe. “You struck with a sudden surge of manners? I can understand you helping me with
my
coat. I’m so fat I can’t get into it alone anymore. But Maddie? I never saw you hold her coat for her before.”

“Mom, you look great,” Joe smiled over at Sarah as he reached a hand out and placed it on Maddie’s stomach. “Maddie was having a little trouble there too. I think
size
does have something to do with it in this case.”

“Ya better watch it there, Irish.” Maddie eyed him as she pulled on her gloves. “
You
did this to me.”

“Yeah, I did,” he boasted with a twinkle.

“Put your gloves on,” she told him as she started for the door.

The soft coughing from the front of the room indicated the minister was ready to begin his sermon. Joe caught sight of many of the people changing position in their seats, an agitated movement. He was probably as guilty as the rest. He didn’t like the idea of hearing a sermon over Lew, but as the minister began to speak Joe was surprised. He spoke of Lew’s characteristics that everyone knew existed but took for granted. He spoke of his great willingness to give when others were in need, even though financially he was a very poor man himself. He spoke of the great wealth Lew possessed in friendships, to young and old, to rich and poor. Joe glanced around the room, the tightness in his throat making it ache and the stinging in his eyes, forcing back unshed tears that had been long gathering. This funeral most certainly wasn’t restricted to the people of Lew’s age. People of all ages were there, crying for the man they held dear to their hearts. It wasn’t restricted to Lew’s economic level. He saw clothes that reflected people’s income—many near the patching point, many expensive furs, and many in-between.

By now Joe saw Maddie wiping her eyes frequently, tears she thought she had
cried
out,
coming on again, full force. Joe listened as the minister talked of Lew being a superb Christian, his love of life and people of all types proving he cherished the gift God had given him. He talked on and on, but somehow it wasn’t tiring. How many times did he come back to the point that Lew’s enormous heart outshone any obstacle his life might have faced. How many times did he say that Lew was loved by many—appreciated by many—needed and cherished by many? The sobbing was coming louder now, many people wiping eyes and noses—not only the women anymore.

‘Lew—dammit!
Just
what
in
the
hell
are
we
supposed
to
do
now?
How
can
we
live
a
sane
life
anymore
without
your
laughter?!’
Joe’s teeth were clenched as he held Maddie’s hand tightly. Another point the minister admired—Lew’s ability to see trouble and need in other people and make
them
smile and laugh.
‘Where
are
you
now
Lew.
Come
make
me
smile.
Make
me
laugh.’
Joe winced with the emotional pain he was battling.

The minister finally came out from behind his podium after a short prayer for Lew’s soul (making it clear though, Lew would have no problem getting beyond those blessed gates). He bent to take Janet’s hand, then moved down the line of seats and into the next row, extending his condolences to Lew’s children, his daughters-in-law, and his grandchildren. His next stop went to Sarah, but she hardly seemed to notice him, then on to the two remaining sisters and Lew’s brother. As the minister walked from the room, Joe watched the funeral director prompting the people in the other section of seats to go up to see Lew, then return to their cars for the procession to the cemetery.

“I—I’m going out to start the car,” came Tom’s stiff voice as he quickly escaped past John and Beth, and Maddie and Joe, his eyes red and blurry and a wetness glistening on his cheeks as he went out a back door without going forward to see his mentor.

People went up to see Lew from behind Joe and Maddie. People of all ages were weeping, devastated over the loss of this man. Finally the director came to Joe’s chair, but, as he started to rise, the man spoke to him.

“If you prefer to accompany your mother up to see her brother, you may stay behind and wait until it’s her turn.”

Maddie’s hand on Joe’s arm told him that’s what they would do. A few more rows of Maddie’s cousins, then it was Lew’s brother’s and sisters’ turn. Joe rose, taking Maddie’s arm as he started toward Sarah. He placed himself in front of Sarah as John and Beth stayed behind. He had an idea, as he stood at the casket, that Maddie had little control over her emotions at that moment. He looked back to Sarah, stone-faced as she followed him, refusing to look at Lew yet. He glanced back at Lew’s family. The youngest girl was crying uncontrollably as one of her older brothers tried to comfort her. The next daughter sat with her boyfriend, a combination of calm and agitation on her face as she watched the people before her, her eyes avoiding her father. Twenty-one-year-old Mike was watching the floor as if it were all a dream. Wayne, twenty-three, the handsomest of the four sons and looking exactly like his father at that age, sat with clenched teeth as he stared straight ahead, his girlfriend watching him intently as a muscle occasionally jumped along his jaw line. And Lewis, only twenty days younger than Maddie, simply looked up at him and smiled reassuringly.

Joe looked at the three people ahead of him as they stood over their brother. The two oldest bent slightly as they said farewell. The oldest sister, Marie, with her husband standing behind her, and Harry’s wife standing somewhere off to the side. Marie was crying in breathless sobs, holding and rubbing Lew’s hand. Harry tried to remain stiff as he stared at the brother eighteen years younger than himself. Lew’s youngest sister, Jane, stood to the rear of the group, an expression of anger covering her face as she stared at Lew; then quickly she stepped forward, squeezed his hand, and left.

As Maddie and Joe stepped up to Lew, she leaned over her uncle and kissed his forehead. As she straightened, Joe heard a voice, distant, but distinct:
‘You
two?!
Ain’t
yins
married
yet?!’
Then that soft chuckling. Joe might have put it off as his imagination, but Maddie’s words between her tears made him think twice.

“No, not yet.” Her left hand lifted slightly, as if to show her uncle. “But real soon.”

Maddie took a step back, removing Joe’s hand from her arm and pushing it toward Sarah. Joe moved back, allowing Sarah to stand at her brother’s head. Her hand was shaking as she touched him, stroked his face then bent to give him a kiss.

“You be good,” she told her brother. She bent and kissed him again, but this time, when she tried to straighten, her legs gave way and her sobbing finally flowed out. John grabbed one arm—Joe grabbed the other. “Oh,
Lew
,” she cried as she stood with their assistance, then turned back for the door.