My Never: a novella (2 page)

He
stole a final glace at me then closed the door behind himself. For a beat, I
stood in the silence of the house.

I
missed him already.

Two hours later, I heard
the front door click shut. Troy wandered in. “Hey.” He sat next to me on the
couch.

I
cut my eyes to him. He smelt like cigarette smoke. “Where have you been?”

“Pat
needed a ride. He was at this dingy little pub and had drunk too much.” His
hand moved to rest on my arm. “How was your day? Did you go somewhere?”

“Nah.
Was a total couch potato.”

“We
gotta get you out and about, Mon. Can’t stay inside forever.” He draped an arm
over my shoulders.

“Don’t
want to go out – might run into
her
.” I slid closer and felt his lips
press to my hair.

“Hm.
It’s a big city.”

“Not
a chance I want to take today.”

His
fingers brushed up my arm. “I missed you, Mon.”

“Same
here.” I shifted my eyes from the TV to his.

“I
mean, I
really
missed you.”

“You
could have called,” I said.

“True.”
His lips skimmed over my cheek. “Same goes for you.”

After
a moment, I touched my lips to his. I felt him respond, curling his fingers
into my hair. It felt too right, too comforting - like coming home.

I
pulled back. “Sorry. That was totally out of line.”

“Shh.”
His hands cupped my face as he lowered his head to kiss me. “This time, I’m not
letting you go.”

* * *

A movement tore me from
my dreams. My eyes flashed open.  A young girl with long brown hair and Troy’s
blue eyes stared at me, her nose pressed to mine.

“Wha?”
I pulled myself up, my eyes tracking her movements.

“Rubes,
Ruby?” whispered Troy from the hallway. He peered into my bedroom. “You shouldn’t
be in h-” He froze.

I
arched an eyebrow at him. Was this his daughter?

“Hello,”
said Ruby, her hand reaching up to stroke my hair.

“Sorry,
Mon,” he said, “C’mere little monkey.” He bundled her in his arms.

“Is
she ...?” My heart pounded.

His
eyes pleaded. “We’ll talk when I get back from dropping Ruby at school.”

“Okay.”
A kaleidoscope of thoughts flooded my brain. Was he married? Divorced? Why didn’t
he tell me he had a child? I sunk back into the pillows. What have I gotten
myself into?

It seemed an hour had
passed. But it had only been a fraction of that. I chewed on my thumbnail as I
waited for his return. I struggled to keep my thoughts straight. Would I mind
if he’d had a kid? Why hadn’t he mentioned her before?

I
heard gravel crunch in the driveway, then the front door opened.

He
found me in the kitchen. “Mon,” he said, “Have a seat.”

I
realised I’d been standing in the same spot since he left, a bowl of mushy
cereal in front of me. I moved to a barstool. “Ruby’s your daughter, isn’t
she?”

He
sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor. “Yes.”

I
narrowed my eyes as I recalled him kissing me. “Are you married?”

“No.
Lauren - Ruby’s mother - was a runaway bride.” His brow creased. “She decided
she wanted to raise Rubes by herself - guess I wasn’t good enough for her.”

I
reached for his hand.

He
let me take it and tugged me closer. “I’ll understand if you wanna find a
hotel.”

I
shook my head. “You can’t scare me away now.”

He
returned my smile. “You want coffee?”

“Always,”
I said, “Can I ask you something?”

He
stood. “Anything.”

“Do
you like being a father?”

“I
love it - she’s my world.” His smile widened.

“Can
I ask another?”

He
nodded.

“If
we hadn’t gone to colleges on opposite sides of the country, would we have
stayed together?”

His
brow furrowed again. “I think so, yes.”

My
forefinger traced invisible patterns on the wood grain Formica. I’d known the
answer, but it was comforting to hear it from him. “One more. Why didn’t you
tell me?”

He
thought for a beat. “I had a baby with a woman I didn’t love even half as much
as you. I wanted this for
us
.”

“I
wanted it, also.”

“So,
I’m guessing you’re okay with the me-having-a-daughter part?”

“Yeah.
Being a single parent doesn’t make you a bad person.”

He
nodded, his features grave.

“Hey.”
My fingers tried to smooth out the lines on his brow. “Cheer up. It’s not all
that bad,” I teased.

His
face softened. “Thanks for being so understanding, Mon.” He gathered me into
his arms.

“Always
have been.”

He
released me. “And I stand by my promise.” He scooped coffee beans into the
grinder.

“Uh,
what promise?” I wanted to hear him say it again.

The
corners of his lips jerked into a smile. “That you’re stuck with me now.”

“I
can live with that.” I’d never loved anyone more.

He
handed me a mug. “Ruby’s dying to see you. She begged me not to take her to
school.”

“Really?”

He
nodded. “She even tried to bribe me.”

“Takes
after her Dad.” I smirked.

“She
sure does.” He tugged a bag from the top cupboard and offered me a cookie. “Don’t
tell her I have these. Ruby’s a sugar addict.”

“Oh?
Well, my lips are sealed.” I took two and dunked one into my coffee.

His
eyes assessed me. “You seem in better spirits today.”

I
tried to forget. “Your daughter kind of distracted me.”

“Yeah.
And she’s so adorable.”

“Just
like her Daddy.” I touched my lips to his.

He
chuckled and brushed back my hair. “You’re one-of-a kind, Mon.”

“I
get that a lot.”

That afternoon, Ruby
bounced into the kitchen. “Hi, Moni!”

“Hey
there.” I stirred cream and sugar into my coffee. “How was school?”

She
climbed onto a barstool. “Tayla brought her pet rabbit to Show and Tell.”

“Is
she your best friend?” I said.

She
nodded. “My very best friend.”

Troy’s
fingers twisted her pony tail. “You hungry, Kiddo?”

“Yes.”

“Moni
made you an extra special snack,” he said.

Her
eyes widened.

“You
wanna know what it is?” I said.

“Tell
me, tell me!” She clapped her palms together.

I
skipped over to the fridge. “Hope you like apple pie.”

“I
love it!” She leaned forward, watching me cut slices.

“Did
you want it warmed up?” I said to her.

“Yes,
please.” Ruby bounced in her seat.

“I
like mine warm, too.” I passed a plate to Troy.

He
slid it into the microwave.

“Are
you Daddy’s new girlfriend?” she said.

“Uh.”
We hadn’t had a chance to talk about it. What should I say? What was
appropriate? I caught his eye.

He
nodded once.

“Yes,
I am.” I covered the remaining pie with plastic wrap.

Her
face lit up. “Awesome!” She stretched across the counter and whispered, “I
think Daddy’s a bit lonely.”

“Is
he?”

She
nodded. “I like you, Moni. More than Smelly Melly.” She rolled her eyes.

“You
got all the goss, have you, Rubes?” I said, “What else can you tell me?”

“I’m
standing right here,” said Troy, “And Melanie was always nice to you.”

Ruby
picked at her pie and shrugged. “Moni bakes. She’s a keeper.”

Troy
smiled. His arm curled around my waist. “I think so, too.” 

* * *

The next evening, I returned
to Troy’s with a bag each of books, clothes, shoes, food and half a dozen
cupcakes.

Ruby
bounced into the hallway. “Moni, Moni! Guess what?”

“What,
Sweetie?” I said.

“Daddy
says we’re going out for dinner!”

“Ooh,
aren’t we lucky?” I let her carry one of the bags and followed her into the
kitchen.

It
was my birthday. I was thirty. It’s what I was trying to avoid all year. And
yet, it feels no different than twenty-nine. Maybe it hadn’t kicked in yet. Or
maybe I was too busy trying to distract myself to notice.

“What’s
in the box?” she said.

I
flipped open the lid.

“Cupcakes!”
She clasped her hands under her chin. “Can I have one, pretty
please
?”

“Go
ask Dad.”

She
hopped off the barstool and sprinted into Troy’s office. A moment later, she
returned, towing him behind her. “Can I Daddy, please?”

“Okay,”
he said, “But just one.”

“Can
I have the pink one?” She released his hand. “I love pink!”

“Sure.”
I peeled off the wrapper then passed it to her. “Here you go.”

She
took a bite. I offered the box to Troy. He smiled and selected one.

Ruby
giggled. “These are awesome.”

They
were the best cupcakes I’d tasted, too. The icing was just right and melted in
my mouth.

“How
‘bout you go and wash that face of yours, Missy?” he said, swiping at a pink
smudge on her lip.

“Okay.”
She skipped out of the room.

Troy
constricted his arms around my waist. “Are you having a good birthday? I can
see you went shopping.” He eyed the bags.

“Yeah,
shopping, sightseeing – all is good.”

“Did
you bump into Kate?”

“Nope.”

“See?
What’d I tell you? It’s a big city.” He brushed his lips across mine.

I
heard Ruby giggle. We cut our eyes to her.

“Are
you two getting married now?” she said, smiling.

Troy
and I exchanged panicked glances.

While
he explained to Ruby why we weren’t getting married - yet - I packed away my
shopping then concentrated on picking an outfit for dinner. I extracted a
slinky red dress from the shopping bag. Hmm, too sexy for a dinner with Troy
and
Ruby. My fingers grasped purple chiffon. Perfect.

“You girls ready yet?”
Troy said through the bathroom door.

“Just
a minute,” I said as I braided Ruby’s hair.

She
passed me a butterfly clip.

“There
we go.” I secured the braid.

“Thanks,
Moni,” she said, “You’re better at this than Dad.”

I
chuckled. “You’re welcome.” I opened the door.

Ruby
pounced at Troy.

“Hey,
Kitten,” he said, “Wow, you look pretty. Did you thank Moni?”

“Yes,”
said Ruby.

His
eyes appraised me. “You look good, too.”

“Thank
you.” The bottom of my dress flared as I twirled.

He
ushered us out. “C’mon, we’ll be late.”

“Were
you always this bossy?” I said.

He
smirked. “You bring it out in me.”

Ten
minutes after, Troy pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot.

“Is
this your idea of getting me to have fun while I’m here?” I said.

“Yep.”
His head swivelled in my direction. “Is it working?”

“A
little. Some bruschetta would help further.” I grinned.

“We’ll
see what we can do, right Rubes?” he said.

“Yep!”
she said as she skipped at his side, “And a big ice cream sundae!”

“Ooh!”
I said, “Sounds yum.”

Troy
pressed his lips to my cheek and held the restaurant’s door open. He let Ruby
and I pass.

The
hostess appeared in front of us. “Table for three?”

Troy
nodded. “What do you want to eat, Rubes?” He pulled out my chair.

“Pizza!”
she said.

He
sat opposite me. “Okay, how does that sound, Mon? Split a pizza for dinner?”

“Sure,”
I said, my eyes roaming over the drinks menu.

The
waiter appeared in front of us. “You guys ready to order?”

“Yeah,”
said Troy, “Mon, you go first.”

“Uh,
I’ll have a beer and the bruschetta,” I said.

Ruby
pointed to the drink she wanted.

“We’ll
have the pepperoni pizza and I’ll have a beer also.” He grinned at me.