My Never: a novella (4 page)

I
turned to Troy. “Thanks for breakfast. You spoil me.” I’m going to miss that.

He
swivelled to face me. “You’re worth spoiling.” His lips tugged into a gentle
smile.

Ruby
returned, arms hidden behind her back.

“What’cha
got?” he said.

“A
surprise for Moni.” She stopped in front of me.

“For
me?” I said.

She
nodded. I held out a hand and she placed an object in my palm. I examined the
pink sparkly candle.

“Well?”
she said, “Do you like it?”

“I
love it.” I hugged her. “Thanks.”

She
returned my smile. “I got it at the school market yesterday.”

“Wow,”
said Troy, “You’re really getting spoilt here.”

“Better
not get used to it, eh?” I said, “I’m going to miss you guys
so much
when I leave.” I sniffled.

Her
face dropped. “You’re coming back, right?”

“Couldn’t
imagine being anywhere else.”

* * *

My nose caught the scent
of coffee and hash browns. My eyes fluttered open.

Troy
hovered by the couch, a mug under my nose. “Mustn’t have been a very
captivating movie last night.”

“Oh,
gosh. When did I fall asleep?” I massaged my aching neck.

He
hid a smile. “Half an hour into the film.”

“Oh.”
I sipped the steaming liquid. “Sorry.”

“No
problem.” His finger twirled a lock of my hair. “Thought we could hang out
today.”

“And
do what?”

“Party
like it’s nineteen ninety-nine?”

I
nudged him.

“Do
the Macarena?”

I
lifted an eyebrow. “Is that code for something else?”

“Might
be.”

“We
could have a picnic.”

“Or
walk the dog.”

“You
don’t have a pet,” I said.

“Hm.”

“It’s
sunny. We should be outside.” I slouched into him.

“Picnic
sounds nice.” He touched his lips to my head.

I
stood. “I’ll get started on it.”

He
tugged me back down. “In a minute.”

I
snuggled into him. “What time is it?”

“Just
after nine. And by the way, do you know you snore?”

I
snorted. “I don’t.”

“Well
then, there’s a hyena with a breathing problem on the loose.”

Please,
God, let him be joking.

“I
thought I was gonna have to strangle you,” he said.

“Lucky
me.”

* * *

The next afternoon, Ruby
rushed down the hall. She climbed onto the couch and hugged me.

I
dropped my book into my lap. “Hey, Sweetie. How was your day?”

“It
was awesome,” she said, “But Mr Andrews made us take a test.”

“Oh?
I’m sure you did fine.” My fingers brushed through her hair.

Troy
ambled in. “Howdy girls.” He smiled at me. “Who wants to go out for ice cream
before I take Ruby home?”

Ruby
and I raised our hands.

“Cool.
Let’s go,” he said.

My
phone chirped. “Hang on a sec, it’s my mother.” I pressed the answer button as
I moseyed into my bedroom. “Hello?”

“Hi,
Darling,” she said, “You left a message, wanting to speak to me?”

“Yeah.
I have some major news.”

“What,
Dear?”

“I’m
moving here.” I waited for her reaction.

“
What
?”

“I
bumped into Troy. We’re back together.”

“What
about your job?” she said.

“I’m
going to open my own publishing house.”

“That’s
very competitive, Moni. How will you make a living?”

I
blew a sigh. “Look, I know everything there is to know. I was an editorial
assistant for eight years. Plus I have a client.”

“If
that’s what you want to do - as long as it’s not because of Kate.”

She
had to mention her name. I had tried so hard to forget about my best friend.

“It’s
not.” My tone was harsh.

Troy
appeared in the doorway.

“I
have to go, Mum,” I said.

“Take
care,” she said, “And say hello to Troy for me.”

“I
will.” I punched the
end call
button and jammed the phone back into my
pocket.

“Everything
okay?” he said.

“Yeah,
if you count not having the support of my mother or any friends
okay
.”

“C’mere.”
He held open his arms.

I
fell into them.

“If
it’s meant to work out, it will.” Troy brushed his lips across my forehead.

I
nodded. Everyone had been saying that. I was beginning to believe it.

Ruby
bounced into the room. “Come on! Let’s get ice cream!”

I
chuckled and let them tow me out the door.

* * *

Thursday afternoon, Troy
took me shopping. Though it wasn’t his fault, I knew he still felt guilty about
my broken limb.

“How’s
your arm?” he said as we meandered down the street.

“Itches.”

“Yeah.
I’ve been there. I feel your pain.” He shot me a breath-taking smile.

A
woman bumped into Troy. She swivelled then eyed me, her blonde hair cascading
over her shoulders. “I was wondering where you were,” said Kate, “You don’t
just walk out in the middle of a conversation.”

I
spun to face her, anger surging. “Ever looked up the meaning of friend? I’m
pretty sure it would say they don’t stab you in the back.”

“Anyway.”
She flicked her hand to dismiss me. “I’ve been reconsidering things. I found
the perfect house for us and-”

“Sorry.
No-can-do. I won’t be living in Perth for much longer.” I reached for Troy’s
hand and we continued down the street. I didn’t look back - couldn’t. I was
terrified of what else I would do.

“Are
you sure you wanna end that friendship?” he said, concerned.

“Yeah.
Things haven’t been right between us for a while now. This latest one is the
final straw. I’ve had enough.”

“Okay.”
He draped an arm over my shoulders. “Let’s buy you some books.” He smirked and
pulled me into a shop.

I
didn’t object.

The
end of a friendship is never easy, especially when you have known that person
most of your life. But better things were coming for me, this I knew. Troy and
I would get a happy ending, and Ruby might even get a half-brother or sister
someday - the possibilities were endless. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of
my life with them. Though, forever can never be long enough.

* * *

The next evening, Troy
drifted into our bedroom. “Do you really have to go tomorrow?” He constricted
an arm around my waist.

“Yeah,
but I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.” I chucked my phone charger into the
suitcase.

“I’ll
miss you too much.” His arm tightened and he blew a sigh. “What’d you wanna do
for your last night?”

I
shrugged. “As long as I’m spending it with you, it doesn’t matter.”

“I
know - I’ll cook you dinner.”

“You
don’t have to do that,” I said.

“I
want to.”

“Okay.”
I smiled. “Go ahead and spoil me.” I chuckled and folded another shirt.

An hour and a half later,
Troy and I were settled on a blanket under the stars.

“You
really go all out when you try to impress a girl,” I said, eyeing the mound of
food before me.

“Yeah.”
His smile widened. “I want you to have an awesome last night.”

“Not
the last - the first of many.”

“True.
And while you’re away, I can turn the spare bedroom into a second office. How’d
you like that?”

“You
would do that for me?” I said.

“I’d
do anything.”

I
smiled and brushed my lips across his.

“You
should try the quiche, before it gets cold.” He transferred a slice to a plate.

“Writer
and
cooking extraordinaire.”

“Package
deal.” He dropped some kale and cherry tomatoes next to it.

“Looks
fab.” I helped myself to wine.

He
handed me the dish. “Hope it tastes good.”

I
forked a bite into my mouth. Cheese and basil charmed me. “Mm. Amazing. Much
better than the first meal you cooked me.” I smirked.

He
chuckled. “Mud pies made from real mud?”

“A
six year-old’s idea of gourmet.” I scoffed the rest.

“Leave
some room for brownies.”

“Brownies?
Where?” I searched for them.

“Hidden
- until you finish your vegetables.” He snickered.

I
shoved the last tomato into my mouth. “Done.” I beamed. “Dessert, please.”

He
blew a sigh, stood and disappeared inside for a second. He returned with a
container. “Here we go.” He sat next to me.

I
selected the bigger one.

He
touched his lips to my cheek. “I’m gonna miss ya.”

“You
said that earlier.”

“I
know,” he said, “But it’s true. We just got back together, and now you’re
leaving.”

“For
two weeks, Troy. Not for ever.” My fingers tried to smooth out the crinkles on
his brow.

“I
know.”

My
hand skimmed over his chest. “I know a better way to celebrate.”

“You
do?”

I
nodded and climbed onto his lap.

* * *

Troy dragged my suitcase
through the airport as tens of people bustled by. He stopped. I swivelled to
face him.

“I
can’t believe you’re going,” he said, for the third time today.

“I’ll
be back sooner than you realise.”

He
released the handle then gathered me into his arms. “Not soon enough.” He
paused, his hands moving to rest on my shoulders. “Call me when you get home?”

“Sure.”

“Can
I ask you one more thing?” he said.

I
hauled my bag onto my shoulder. “Yep?”

He dropped
to one knee and pinched open the lid of a suede box. “Will you marry me?”

My
heart beat accelerated. My eyebrows shot
up
.
Troy
stared at me, patient, waiting for an answer.

“What?” I said, in shock.
Did he just ask me to marry him? Or did I fabricate that?

“Moni Cullen, will you do
me the extraordinary honour of being my wife?”

My hands trembled. “Yes.”
I kissed him. “Yes, yes, yes!” I flung my arms around his neck.

A hundred people buzzed
by, many staring as he spun me around in the middle of the airport. But I didn’t
care. I was going to marry the man of my dreams - my never. The person whom I
once thought it wouldn’t work out with.

Troy transferred the
diamond to my finger. “Looks good on you.”

I smiled and let him take
my hand. This would make leaving him harder, tenfold. But I had to go home, to
sort out my old life. “You’ll call often, right?”

He grinned. “So much you’ll
be sick of me.”

I gripped the handle of
my suitcase. “And Ruby?” I would miss his daughter, too.

He nodded, his features
saddened. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” He tugged me closer.

“You’ll hardly notice my
absence, I bet,” I joked.

He released me then
pressed his lips to my forehead. “Go, before I start begging you to stay.”

“Okay.” My eyes roamed
over him one last time then I swivelled and dragged my suitcase over to join
the queue. Even now, as I forced myself to think of
anything
else, my
heart ached. How was I going to get through two weeks without him?

They say your home is
where your heart is. But my home has never felt so empty. In my humble apartment,
there was no Troy or Ruby. I felt isolated and unable to comprehend how anyone
could cope in a long-distance relationship. I was in agony. Was I weak? Or is
pain always a part of love?

The pile of mail on the
counter, neatly stacked, caught my eye. Next to it was a plate of cookies and a
note from Mum:
Welcome home!

This was no longer my
home. It seemed depressing in comparison to what I’d left behind in Cairns. I
dumped my bag on a chair and yanked open the fridge. Nothing but chocolate
spread and wine.

My phone buzzed in my
pocket. The screen flashed
Troy
. I raised it to my ear.

“Just checking the plane
didn’t crash mid-way,” he said.

I could hear the smirk in
his voice. “Hm, nope. I arrived in one piece - the plane, also.”

“How was your flight?”

“Boring. And the traffic
to my apartment was madness.” I opened the freezer. There was a lone tub of ice
cream in the back.

“Two weeks is a long time
without you, Mon.”

“I know.” I hauled myself
onto the counter, popped open the lid and spooned some into my mouth. “But you’re
still flying down to help me drive back, right?”

“Yep. You’ll have to
spend a whole fifty-eight hours with me, on the road.”

“Just you, me and Dean
Moriarty. Can’t wait.” My eyes swept over the apartment. “I should get started
on the packing. I’ll call you later?”

“Sure. Love you,” he
said.

I hopped off the counter.
“I love you, too.”

The night had crept in,
leaving shadows on the walls and in my heart. I switched on the light and
sorted through the bills and junk mail then tossed them aside. I wanted nothing
to do with this life.

*
* *

The next morning, my
fingers searched the bed for him. It was a habit now, more than anything. But I
was alone. And the apartment was too quiet. I stared at the ceiling, gnawing on
the inside of my cheek. I was doing the right thing, wasn’t I? Leaving Perth to
pursue my dream career and live with my fiancé? My head was swimming with all
kinds of questions and thoughts. But I had too much to do today to worry about
them.

I swung my legs over the
edge of the bed and padded into the kitchen. Coffee seemed like a good way to
start this morning. I made a pot and ate a slice of toast over the sink.

By mid-morning, I had
culled a third of my belongings. Though it felt as if I was giving bits of
myself away, it was a new beginning for me - one that I hoped would be more
satisfying.

At eleven, I arrived at
Mum’s.

She hauled me into her
arms. “Moni! I’m glad you’re back and safe.” Her smile faltered as she noticed
my cast. “Your arm. How did that happen?”

“Slipped in a puddle of
lemonade.”

She led me into the
living room. “Does it hurt?”

“Mostly itches.” I
lowered myself into the familiar tattered armchair across from her.

“Tea?” she said.

“Sure.”

She poured the amber
liquid into two mugs and offered me one.

“Thanks.” I snitched a
cookie.

“How was your trip? And
Troy?”

“Both great.”

“I hear he has a seven
year-old daughter.”

“Yes. How do you know
that?”

“I phoned his mother,”
she said.

I rolled my eyes. “Of
course you did,” I said under my breath. Was there a mother on this planet that
wasn’t nosy?

“I also heard that you
might have some big news for me.” She grinned over her mug, her eyes darting to
the diamond on my finger and back to my face.

Crap. I forgot to remove
it. “Yes, well, uh-”

“Spit it out, Dear.”

I breathed deep. “We’re
engaged.”

Mum sprung from her chair
and hugged me. “I’m so happy for you!” Her arms tightened.

“Have you been into the
vodka again, Mum?”

“Oh, don’t be silly. I’m
proud of you.”

Hang on. Wasn’t she
berating me earlier, about making impromptu decisions because of Kate?

“You’re finally getting
your life together!” She froze. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“I was there for two
weeks, Ma.”

“A lot can happen in a
short time.” She winked.

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Well, then.” She settled
into her chair again. “Do you want a baby with him?”

The image of a toddler
with his hair and smile floated into my mind. “Yes.” How could I not?

“Hm. I never thought I’d
hear you say that.”

“People change.” And not
always for the better. The thought of Kate and her lies still stung.

“I picked up some boxes
for you. They’re in the hall.”

“Thanks. That will save
me a trip.”

“If you need any help
packing-” She sniffled. “I can’t believe you’re moving to the other side of the
country.”

I perched on the arm of
her chair. “You can always come for a holiday. Your step-granddaughter-to-be
would love to meet you.”

She nodded. “I’d like
that.”

I nudged her. “I could
use some help this afternoon around three.”

She grinned and met my
eyes. “I’ll bring the doughnuts and coffee.” 

I ripped a chunk off a
chocolate doughnut. “This was a brilliant idea.” I knew Mum wanted to spend as
much time with me as she could while I was in Perth. And I didn’t mind, she was
on her best behaviour.

Mum held up a lamp.
“Pack, store or donate?” 

“Donate.”

Her eyes assessed the red
fabric. “Can I have it? It would go great with the new rug in my bedroom.”

“Help yourself.” I
bubble-wrapped a mug.

She giggled. “And this?”
She held up a black shimmery nightie.

“Mum!” I made a grab for
it, cheeks burning red.

“It’s a wonder you haven’t
already gotten pregnant with this.”

“It’s new.” I shoved it
into a box.

“Sure it is.” She glided
over to the bakery box and selected a doughnut.

I chugged the remainders
of my coffee. “I think we are nearly done for today.” I eyed the stack of
boxes.

“Do you want to order in?
My shout.”

“I’ve got to get to work
early tomorrow.”

“I won’t stay long.”

“Okay. But we are not
ordering from that fancy place you like.”

She tugged out her
wallet. “I can do burgers and fries.”

I secured my arms around
her. “I love you. We haven’t always gotten along, but you are an amazing mum.”

“Took you thirty years to
figure that out?” she teased, “You’re not very bright.” Her lips pressed to my
cheek. “I love you, too.”

I released her and hauled
out my phone.

“I’ll pick dinner up,”
she said, “There’s something special I want to get.”

“Okay.” The phone vibrated
in my palm.

“Tell Troy I said hello.”
She hitched her purse onto her shoulder and closed the door behind herself.

I held the phone to my
ear and stepped onto the balcony. “Hey.”

“Hey, Beautiful,” said
Troy, “How’s things?”

“I just spent the
afternoon packing with my mother,” I whispered as though she could hear me.

“Are you okay?”

“She was
nice
. She
brought coffee and doughnuts. And now she’s out getting take-away.”

“Maybe the reality of her
daughter moving has hit her.”

I clenched my eyes shut.

“It’s gotta be hard on
you, too, eh?” he said.

“Yeah.” My voice
crackled.

“Mon?”

“Mm?”

“Do you wanna stay in
Perth?”

“I have memories here,” I
said, “But it’s time for me to make some new ones. With you and Ruby.”

He was quiet for a beat. “Ruby
drew you something. You want me to express post it to you?”

I smiled. “That would be
awesome.”

Ten minutes later, Mum
returned. She placed a bag on the counter. “I stopped by Ann’s house - you know
my friend who sells those mouth-watering pies to café’s?”

I nodded.

“She was out of chocolate
and apple, but I got us a custard one.” Her smile widened.

“Yum.”

“Okay, let’s eat.”

We carted our food into
the living room.

“Thanks for helping
today,” I said.

“No problem, Sweetheart.”

I salted my fries. “You
don’t think I’m doing the wrong thing, do you?”

She draped an arm over my
shoulders. “You’re following your heart as you always have. I admire that in
you.” She pressed her lips to my head. “Troy’s a lucky guy.”

“Can you believe that we
bumped into each other in some random restaurant?”

“It was meant to be.
Maybe you were both supposed to live your own lives first.”

I nodded, letting that
sink in. If we hadn’t broken up after high school, there would be no Ruby. And
if there was no Ruby …

I didn’t want to think
about a world without her. “It’s meant to be.” I shovelled fries into my mouth.
“Why couldn’t I figure that out when I was twenty? I could have done without
the string of meaningless relationships.”

“Ah, that’s all part of
the journey.” She petted my hand.

*
* *

I pushed through the
doors of
Gilmore Publishing
with an armload of folders.

My boss, Diane, appraised
me. “What’s this?”

“I hate to doing this to
you,” I said, “But I quit.” I handed her my resignation letter.

Her eyes bulged. “What?”

“I will help you find
someone to replace me and sort out every-”

“Monique.” She placed her
hands on my shoulders. “I’ve known you for almost ten years. What’s going on?”

“I’m taking a chance.”

“And?”

“I’m moving in with my
fiancé.” I lifted my left hand.

She fell into her chair.
“What happened on that holiday?”

I chuckled. “I met an old
love.”

She was silent for a
moment, her eyes darting over the letter. “I’ll be sad to see you go. You’re
the best assistant I’ve had.”

“I promise I will find
someone just as good.”

She nodded. “What is it
that you’ll do?”

“I will be opening my own
publishing house.”

She smiled. “I wish you
the best of luck. And a week’ll do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I stood. “Where do we
start?”

“Coffee. Is it too early
to pull out my flask?”

“A little.”

She constricted her arms
around me. “Ooh. What am I gonna do without you?” Her arms dropped to her side.