My Own Mr. Darcy (37 page)

It took a focused effort
on my part to sound relaxed and normal. “My dad is an accountant and my mom is
the office manager for a doctor’s office.”

“How nice,” Ellen said but
she didn’t sound impressed. “And where did you go to school?”

“I graduated from Oregon
State.”

The waiter saved me from
elaborating on my schooling by bringing us bowls of wild mushroom soup. It was
delicious but I struggled to enjoy it. We ate in silence but it wasn’t a
comfortable silence. Judgment and snobbery sat at the table with us and I
struggled to keep my hand from trembling. I should have stayed home. Which was
worse—a raging fever and chills or enduring this meal with people who thought I
was inferior?

The waiter took our bowls
and the interrogation continued.

“Matt has been so
secretive about this little affair. You’ll have to fill us in on the details,”
Ellen said.

“Mom,” Matt said at the
same time that Paul said, “Ellen.”

“What?” She looked hurt.
“A mother shouldn’t know about her son’s life? We were in Portland just weeks
ago and hadn’t heard a word about you,” she said to me. “And now I find out my
son is head over heels for you.” She made quotation marks with her hands. “I
just want to know more, that’s all. Can you blame me?”

“Of course not,” I said. The
storm clouds that blanketed the evening parted just a crack and showed a tiny
sliver of silver. Matt had told her he was head over heels for me. That was
such a romantic phrase and one I wouldn’t have expected Matt to use no matter
how he felt.

Jumping at that, Ellen
asked, “So tell me how you two met.”

I looked at Matt. He’d
told them I was a designer. Did he want me to tell them he’d come through my
line at the bank? Matt put his arm around my shoulder. “We met at work,” he
said.

“Your work or his?” she
asked me.

I hesitated so Matt could
jump in if he wanted. “Mine,” I said when Matt didn’t respond.

“At your design company?”

 I glanced at Matt’s face.
He was staring into his water glass, his jaw clenched. Surely he didn’t expect
me to lie.

“At the bank,” I said.

“You work at a bank?” Paul
asked. “I thought you were an interior designer.”

I glanced at Matt again.
“She is. She was just waiting for that to become a full-time job,” Matt said.
“In the meantime, she was working at the bank.”

Matt’s use of the past
tense bothered me and I was tempted to correct him just on principle. Then I
looked across at Ellen’s “caught you” expression and I had a sudden
realization. Matt wasn’t enjoying this interrogation either. He was barely
surviving it and while he struggled not to drown in the ocean of his parents’
expectations, he was trying to hold my head above water, too. If I fought
against him we might both go down.

Emma had said I could tell
people I worked at her design house. She wanted me. It was just a matter of
time. I threw out a life preserver I hoped would save both Matt and me.

“I work for Emma Cho
Designs. She’s one of the best-known designers in Portland. In fact, she was
hired to renovate several rooms in the Governor’s mansion last year. She’s
quite brilliant.”

“And Emma was so impressed
with Elizabeth’s work that she practically begged her to come work with her.”
Matt barely squeezed my shoulder but it was enough that I knew he was grateful.
“If we were smart, we’d hire Elizabeth to redo the house in Carmel before she
gets so busy she can’t squeeze us in.”

“We haven’t been to the
house in Carmel in over a year,” Ellen said.

“Maybe you’d want to go
more often if you had it renovated.”

“We might. I’ve just
enjoyed Cumberland Island so much more lately.”

“Then we should sell the
house in Carmel and buy something on Cumberland,” Paul said. “It hardly makes
sense to rent a house there while the Carmel house sits empty.”

“Would you want to buy
something on Cumberland?” Ellen’s mood suddenly lifted.

“If we’re going to go
there every few months, it makes sense,” Paul said.

“You know, I adore
Cumberland. We should call a realtor and see what’s available.” The thought of
another house made Ellen more generous. “If we do sell the house in Carmel,
maybe you could do some work on it to make it show better. Stage it or
something.”

“Maybe so,” I said.

The waiter brought out a
roasted duck dish with a rich plum sauce. “Matt, did you know the Emerson’s
bought a second house in Belize?”

“I think it was either a
third or fourth house,” Paul said.

“What made them go to
Belize?” Matt asked.

“George said it was
because he needs a place to get away from the stress of his job but I think it
had more to do with the stress of his taxes.”

“I love to travel to those
little countries but I’d never want to live there. I’d be afraid I’d die of
some disease or some drug cartel would come and murder us in our sleep,” Ellen
said.

Paul rolled his eyes.
“Always so dramatic.”

“You say that but you
don’t want to go there either. Admit it.”

“You’re right, dear, I
don’t. But it isn’t because I’m afraid we’ll be murdered in our sleep.”

“Have you ever been to
South America, Elizabeth?” Paul asked.

“I haven’t.”

“Have you traveled out of
the country at all?” Ellen asked.

“Just to Canada.”

“Well, if you and Matt get
married . . .”

“Ellen, don’t get ahead of
yourself,” Paul said.

“I said ‘if.’ I’m not
getting ahead of myself. If you and Matt get married, we’ll have to send you to
Europe. Everyone should see Europe.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“This duck is delicious,”
Matt said. I looked at his plate. He’d hardly had a bite.

“I’m surprised you’re
eating the duck,” Paul said.

“Elizabeth is helping me
be less of a snob when it comes to food,” Matt said.

“And other things, too, I
guess,” Ellen said softly under her breath.

Suddenly I knew I was
going to cry. It was the same feeling I’d had as a kid when I’d run over a nail
on my bike. I’d seen the nail go into the front tire and I’d hopped off the
bike only to find it embedded in the rubber. If I pulled it out the air would
escape in one giant gust. If I rode like crazy, maybe I could make it home
before it was too late. Either way the air was escaping. I’d pumped as fast as
my legs would go and by the time I made it to my driveway, the tire was sad and
empty.

“Would you excuse me for a
minute,” I asked but I was already out of my seat. I didn’t make it quite to
the ladies’ room before the tears started. I sat in the stall trying to make
them stop as fresh tears followed the ones I’d wiped away. When I finally felt
empty, I splashed some cold water on my face—thank goodness for waterproof
mascara—and walked back out to the table. I felt as empty as that flat tire and
no amount of assorted treats would fill me up.

“LIZZIE, THIS IS
fantastic,” Laura said. She and James had brought Jonah to Bradley Oakmont’s
book signing, which was also the day of the public unveiling of The Children’s
Room.

“I didn’t know you were
coming,” I said and gave her a hug. Having some of my family there lifted a
cloud I hadn’t known I was standing under.

“Jonah is a little young
for Oakmont’s books but we wanted to see what you’ve done,” James said.

“And as long as we’re
here, I’m getting a head start. Jonah will be the first kid his age with Super
Nerd books in his library,” Laura said.

“I’m so glad you guys
came.” I knelt down by Jonah who was sitting in one of the multi-colored chairs
I’d painted. “Do I get a hug from my little peanut?”

Jonah looked up from his
dragon picture book. “Aunt Lizzie.” He wrapped his chubby arms around my neck.
“Will you read to me about the dragons?”

“She can’t right now,”
Laura said. “But we’ll buy that book and the next time Aunt Lizzie comes over,
she can read it to you.”

“Okay.” Jonah sat back
down with his book and I stood up.

“How are you feeling?” I
asked Laura.

“Like I’m about to burst.
But she’ll be here in the next few weeks, so I’ll survive.”

“You look good,” I said.

“Yeah, right!”

“I’m serious,” I said.

“I feel pretty good.
Better than I did with him, that’s for sure.” Laura had been confined to bed
for the last month of her pregnancy with Jonah.

“I’m proud of you, Lizzie,”
James said. “This place looks great. You turned out way more talented than I
expected.”

I rolled my eyes. I saw
Matt across the room with Bradley Oakmont. His eyes met mine and he nodded and
smiled. A few minutes later he came up beside me.

“Matt, this is my brother
James and my sister-in-law, Laura.”

“Good to meet you,” Matt
said, shaking their hands.

“And this is Jonah.” I
ruffled Jonah’s curly blond hair. He looked up at Matt for a second and then
returned to his book.

Matt chatted with us for a
few minutes before returning to Mr. Oakmont.

“I see what you mean,”
Laura said quietly. “He looks just like Mr. Darcy.”

“This is clearly a conversation
not meant for me,” James said. “Jonah, I’ll read you that book.” James sat down
cross-legged on the floor by Jonah’s little chair.

“I know. It’s crazy, isn’t
it?” I said.

“I guess your dreams have
come true.” I shrugged. “Lizzie?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m
not so sure.”

“What do you mean?”

I was afraid to say more. I
felt like my dreams were a shiny balloon I held in my hand. In my other hand
was a pin. If I told Laura the truth about my reservations and my confusion,
I’d be sticking the pin into the shiny surface of the balloon. Maybe the
balloon would just bend under the pin and would hold up. But maybe it would
burst, leaving my dreams in ruins. I wasn’t ready to take that chance yet.

“I’m not sure what I mean.
I guess it’s hard to know.”

“Everyone has doubts
sometimes,” Laura said.

“Are you trying to tell me
something?” James said from the floor, proving he’d been listening after all.

“I haven’t had any doubts
since long before we got married,” Laura said.

“That’s what I like to
hear,” James said and kissed Laura’s knee.

“How romantic,” I said.

“Hey, it’s all I can reach
right now,” James said.

Laura patted my back. “You’ll
figure things out.”

Trees were budding, tulips
were blooming and sunshine came to visit every day in April. I crossed my fingers
it would continue all the way through Janessa’s wedding. The bridal shower was
a small, cozy luncheon at Janessa’s favorite Mexican restaurant with the guests
being those who loved Janessa best—our mothers, a few cousins, some co-workers,
and me.

I went with Janessa for
her final wedding gown fitting and then we celebrated with pecan sticky buns
and hot cocoa at Elrod and Evelyn’s bakery, the same bakery where we ate pecan
sticky buns when we skipped biology in high school.