My Steps Are Ordered (21 page)

It had been three months since she'd last spoken to Colleen.

Gina sat in the formal living room and held a novel in her hand, but later she wouldn't be able to recall anything about what she'd been reading, because her mind was on her friend—one who had to be worried sick about her. She'd lit a scented candle, and the smell of Mia Bella's Chili Vanilli permeated the room. Putting her feet up, Gina fidgeted until she was in a more comfortable position on the plush white Italian leather chair.

Family pictures lined the walls, and even their
AS FOR MEANDMYHOUSE, WEWILLSERVETHELORD
:THEALTONS
cele-bration plaque made their home inviting and welcoming. Her father and Regina had taken the children out to the park, so she'd grabbed the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with her friend.

She put the novel down, picked up her cell phone, which sat on the table next to the leather chair, and dialed. Her fingers quivered, because she knew the person on the other end of the line would be upset, but it was time. “Hello, Colleen.” she greeted.

“Gina, is that you? Girl, where have you been? I've been worried sick! I'm so glad you called, because I needed to hear your voice. So what happened?” Colleen said, her speech rushed. She then fired off more questions so fast, Gina didn't have a chance to respond.

She heard the relief and worry in her friend's voice and smiled. “I'm doing okay. I'm staying at my father's house here in Phoenix. Before that I was at Kelly Olson's home . . . Kendall's mother. You remember the baby I met at the hospital? Well, I stayed with them for a couple weeks. I racked my brain for a place I could go where no one would find me. So I called my dad to ask if I could come here with my children. My head and heart were all in a mess, and I needed some time,” she explained, rambling.

Jeff and Regina had installed a play area in their backyard, complete with a sandbox. Trey and Epiphany had enjoyed many hours playing in the Arizona sun. Though it was October, they were experiencing temperatures in the low nineties. Watching them had given Gina countless hours of joy. More than anything, she was fortunate to have a family to call her own. For that, Gina could be grateful to Michael. He had arranged for her to meet her father, and since that meeting, she had developed a close relationship with her father. She would always treasure that. But before her father, there had always been Colleen. Colleen had been her constant, and Gina could hear the hurt underlying her concern.

“You knew I was here,” Colleen pointed out. “I wanted to be there for you.”

“I know,” Gina said. “But, Colleen, I needed to get away, and I knew your house would be the first place anyone would look for me. That's why I drove to Kelly's. No one, not even Michael, would've thought to look for me there.”

Colleen's sigh echoed through the line. “I understand. What matters is that you are okay.”

Gina heaved her own sigh of relief. “Thanks. I need you.”

“What's up, girl? You know I'm here for you,” Colleen assured her. Then her emotions took over, and she began to praise God. “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you that my friend is safe.” Gina listened while Colleen offered up some heartfelt praise. “I had to get that out of the way first,” Colleen explained. “Terence took the girls over to his mother and the bishop for the weekend. So I can devote all my time to this conversation, without any interruptions.”

Gina nodded, though Colleen couldn't see her. “I know you're wondering about Keith and how he could be the father of my child—make that
children.
”

“Yes, and then some,” she heard her friend say. “I wish I was there for the explanation, but I can't wait, so get to it, Gigi. How is Keith Trey's father? You slept with him months before you married Michael. I did the math, and that's not adding up.”

Gina gulped. She closed her eyes and shook her head. There was so much she had to say. “A couple days before my wedding I invited Keith to my home. You remember when he announced he was going to move to Atlanta?”

“Yes, but—”

Gina interrupted, pacing the room. “He asked me to choose him, and then, when I told him I was marrying Michael, he marched to the door, intending to leave. It was so final. So . . . I don't know. My heart couldn't take it. I remember screaming to him not to go, and then the next thing I knew, we . . .” She needed air. She took the cordless phone with her and opened the front door to go outside. She whispered, “We slept together.”

“Two days before your wedding!” Colleen's yell came through the line. Gina didn't have to see her face to know there was shock registered there. “Gigi, that's just scandalous. But why am I even surprised? I knew when I saw him kissing you like there was no tomorrow not even an hour before you were married. I knew I should've called a halt to it then and there!”

“But you know how stubborn I was,” Gina said, remembering. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I know,” Colleen replied, commiserating. “But marrying Michael was a big mistake. I can almost understand his fury—almost.”

“I get that he's mad, but he had no right to involve our . . . I mean, my children.” Gina didn't disguise the venom in her tone. Michael's manipulations and underhandedness had got under her skin. The fact that she'd put up with it for so long was something she couldn't understand.

“Speaking of which, how do you hide a child? Gina, that doesn't seem real to me. For you to keep something so monumental from me hurts. I love you as if were my sister, and I'd never do something like this to you.”

Shame engulfed Gina as she acknowledged her participation in Michael's deception. She strove to explain. “I'm sorry, Colleen. You're right. I did a terrible thing, but please know I had no intention to hurt you. At first, I didn't realize that was Michael's intention. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I decided to share my news with Michael before I told anyone. But when I did, that's when everything changed. He urged me not to tell anyone—not even you—until after the three-month mark. Then he packed us up and moved us to London—”

Colleen interrupted. “Okay, but what about the other six months?”

Something bit her on the leg. Gina exclaimed, “Ouch! I got bit by a mosquito.” She reentered the house and perched on the couch. “That part was all Michael. He threatened me, telling me not to tell a soul, or I would regret it, and I believed him. He didn't even tell his mother. You don't know how he sounded, how he looked. I felt trapped, like I had to do as he said.” Gina curled her feet under her and adjusted her body until she found a comfortable position. She added, “Epiphany would love your girls. She's three now, and though they're five, I'm sure they would play well together.”

“I see.”

Gina could tell that Colleen really didn't. She felt a small headache coming on. But she continued. “This is a lot to digest. I mean, what are the odds that you sleep with someone three times and you get pregnant twice? I don't even get that. I wish you were here... But, anyway, Michael made sure I kept her out of sight. I'm surprised it was easy to do. I think Michael realized that we couldn't keep this sham going much longer once we returned to the States. Gerry lives in Atlanta, and there was no way we could keep it hidden. I mean, Trey was bound to talk about it. It was an effort having to remind him not to mention Epiphany. It was all a nightmare.” She lowered her voice. “What's creepy is that Michael had this all planned. He intended to humiliate me and his brother in the worst way possible.”

“It sounds like it. Whew!” Colleen answered. “This is some crazy
Flowers in the Attic
stuff. I tell you, Gina. You've got drama. Is there anything else I need to know? Because I don't know how much more I can handle.”

Gina gave a shaky laugh. “No, I tell you, this is the whole sordid tale.” She then dropped her bombshell. “On another note, Michael sent me divorce papers yesterday.”

“What! So Michael knew where you were this whole time? That . . . that jerk!” Colleen raged. “Don't tell me that, because I'm going to call him and give him a piece of my mind.”

“I've no clue how long he's known where I am. But I'm not surprised he found me. Michael knows people and knows how to get things done. He's ruthless,” Gina said with an edge in her voice.

“Have you signed them?”

“No. Not y-yet,” Gina replied, faltering.

Colleen must have heard her hesitation. “Gina, don't tell me you are having reservations.”

“It seems so . . . final.”

“Gina, I've known you long enough to know you tend to suffer from cold feet. You've always dragged your feet when it comes to making important decisions, because you have such a fear of the unknown. You were a quivering bride. You were a bumbling mess when it was time for motherhood. So it doesn't surprise me one bit that you're feeling butterflies when it comes to your divorce.”

“What?” Gina's mouth hung open. Colleen had read her like a book. Gina twirled her right foot. Her mind wandered. She needed a pedicure. Her purple toenails were chipped.

“Lord, give me patience. Gina, you get jittery.”

She heard Colleen's aggravation and forgot about her feet. She tucked them underneath her again and pulled her floral skirt over her knees. “It's that I'm scared. I don't know what is going to happen.”

“You sign the papers, and then the judge signs off on it. I presume that you are not contesting it.” Colleen's sarcasm was palpable.

“Colleen, I know that. It's that I hate the idea of having to go to court and all that.”

“Gina, you are a millionaire. Or did you sign a prenup? Stop thinking like you're a teacher and hire an attorney. That's what you pay them for. You won't have to do anything. You can more than afford it.”

Gina sighed. Colleen was right. She hated the idea that her marriage had failed. But Gina knew that it was over. There was no repairing what was broken.

“It was never right in the first place,” Colleen assured her friend, as if reading her thoughts.

“I didn't sign a prenup, and I do have money stashed. I know I'm not in church, but that doesn't mean I don't think about that ‘no man put asunder' line in the vows,” Gina admitted. Then she said, “I guess I also should've been more mindful of the adultery clause.”

“Gina, just because you're not a Christian doesn't mean you don't have standards or values. I know you well enough to know that. However, you've forgotten about the ‘what God hath joined together' part,” Colleen replied. “God wasn't in this union. Not from the get-go. It was going to fall apart at some point because the foundation wasn't right.”

Gina felt relieved. Colleen's words were liberating. Now all she needed to focus on was her kids. She shifted gears. “The children are doing well, considering.”

Colleen chuckled. “They have a resilient, stubborn woman for a mother. I, for one, am not surprised. Trey and Epiphany Joy will be fine. Get them into counseling,” she advised.

“I'm going to go sign those papers this instant, with you on the line.” True to her words, she strode into her bedroom and pulled the divorce papers out of the nightstand. Then Gina picked up her pen and signed the papers in one big swoop. Colleen remained on the line while she folded the documents and put them in an envelope. She'd messenger them to her attorney in the morning. “Thanks, Colleen. You're a good friend.”

“I know an even better friend,” Colleen said, her voice softening.

“Yes, I know.” Gina rolled her eyes. She knew that Colleen would not give up until she had converted, water baptized, and filled with the Holy Ghost. But after being exposed to the entire nation, she felt unworthy. She was afraid to show her face in public.

“This is the time for you to put your life in God's hands. They're big enough for you and all your problems. You have made a mess of things on your own. Gina, when are you going to realize that you need God to take over and set things right?”

When their call ended, Gina thought and thought about Colleen's question. Maybe God could set things right in her life. She used to think that she was all right, but now Gina was not so sure. She had made a mess of her life.

She couldn't even imagine how she could see her way through the mire in which she had become entangled. She tunneled her fingers through her hair in frustration. Expelling a huge breath of air, Gina could not understand how her life had become a soap opera.

She was married to one man and in love with his brother, who, as it turned out, in a sick twist of fate, was also the father of her children. It was like a bad episode of
The Maury Povich Show.
She could hear Maury's voice in her head.
Michael, you are not the father.

How was she going to explain this to her children? How did she tell her kids that their uncle was their father? That their father was their uncle? Thinking of this must-have conversation made her ill, but what was the alternative?

“So, who is our daddy, Trey?” Epiphany looked at her brother, expecting an answer. Sitting in the big sandbox in the backyard, Epiphany had her back turned to her mom and did not hear her approach. Trey was too busy digging in the sand and putting it in his bucket to note his mother's arrival.

“Uncle Keith is our daddy,” Trey replied with the nonchalance of a seven-year-old. He sounded important, self-assured, and confident about his place in the world.

“So does that mean that Daddy is not our daddy?” Epiphany scrunched her face.

Gina knew this was her cue to step in, but she was afraid. She hesitated.

Now Trey looked unsure. He flicked the sand into the air, and it landed in Epiphany's hair. Gina felt her heart melt when his little hand reached up to brush the sand out of his sister's hair.

“I don't know.” Trey wrinkled his nose in confusion. “Daddy said it on television, so it must be true.”

“So is Mommy still our mommy?” That was a really insightful question for a three-year-old to ask.

Gina knew that it was time for her to intervene and inject as much clarity as she could into the situation.

“Epiphany, of course I'm your mommy,” Gina said. She lowered her petite frame into the sandbox and sat with her children. Though she was dressed in jeans and a buttercup-yellow summer cardigan, she didn't care about the sand. She needed to bond with her children and help guide them through all this mess she'd created.

“And Uncle Keith is our real daddy,” Trey said. He looked at his mother with such confidence and openness that Gina felt her eyes water. Children were so trusting at that age. Gina knew that she did not deserve it.

“That's good, 'cause I like Uncle Keith,” Epiphany chimed in. “I want him to be my daddy. Daddy is not as nice as Uncle Keith.”

Gina's mouth popped open in shock at the sharpness of a mere three-year-old. How could she have picked up on Michael's ambivalence toward her? She would choose Keith, a man she had seen only once and knew about through pictures, to be her father over Michael. That was telling. Gina had often been told how children could pick up on things, but she was floored by Epiphany's revelation. But then, Epiphany was gifted beyond her years. She'd reached a lot of milestones ahead of time from an early age.

Gina had prided herself on being able to cover up the disparity in how Michael treated Trey versus Epiphany. However, it was clear that her efforts had been futile. Epiphany knew how Michael felt about her. He had given her everything and had been polite, but Epiphany had felt the truth.

Gina sunk farther into the sand and bent her head to hide the tears. She knew now without a doubt that she had made the right decision when she signed the divorce papers. What she had done was heinous. But what Michael had done in retaliation was unforgivable.

Michael had taken his resentment out on an innocent child. He had treated Epiphany with aloof disdain. He should not have made Epiphany bear the consequences for her mother's actions.

Gina could not resist. She folded her daughter in her arms and kissed the curls on top of her head. “I know you won't be able to understand a lot of what I'm saying to you, but I'll try. A long time ago, I made a mistake. I was so afraid to get in trouble that I didn't tell anyone and I wasn't honest. But I see that I should've told the truth.” She exhaled. She wasn't sure if she was making sense.

“So you didn't know Uncle Keith was our daddy?” Epiphany asked.

Gina nodded. She vowed to set a counseling appointment. She needed professional help for all three of them. She hoped she hadn't botched her attempt to explain.
Small steps,
she told herself.
Healing requires time and small steps.

“Is Daddy coming to visit us?” Trey asked. He didn't wait for a reply but instead sighed and said, “I'm glad it's okay for me to talk about my sister. You said it's okay, right, Mommy?”

Gina rotated her body so that she could take both her children in her arms. She snuggled them close to her. She didn't know how to answer the question. Or, better put, she didn't know which father Trey was referring to. The one he had called Daddy for his entire life or the one he had discovered was his father?

“You can talk about your sis as much as you want,” Gina said. She listened to herself. This was a crazy conversation. It felt surreal. Her poor kids. How had she allowed Michael to do this to her family? How had she been so foolish?

Epiphany chimed in with her thoughts. “Yeah, is Daddy Keith coming to see us?”

Gina looked as two pairs of excited eyes waited for an answer. She was relieved to know whom they were referring to, but Gina was nonplussed by their adaptability. “Are you okay with Uncle Keith being your dad?” She asked the question with a great amount of dread.

“Yes,” Trey said, speaking for both of them. “Mommy, you don't think he wants to be our dad, do you?”

 

 

A similar conversation was taking place in Keith's home in Jamaica Estates, New York. With a quick wrench, Keith's strong hands tore the fancy tie from around his neck as he stood in the living room.

He had stood beside Ned Winthrop as his best man. Ned and Penelope had been like teenagers. Their love was mutual and apparent. Keith had been moved and honored to perform the wedding ceremony.

Keith had opened his home for the special occasion. Penelope had a special surprise planned for Ned and delegated Keith as her husband's “babysitter” until she was ready. The two men watched as Penelope and her numerous cousins and sisters departed. Then they chuckled, knowing that whatever that night brought, Ned was not going to complain. It was evident to anyone who knew Ned that he was content with whatever happened as long as he had Penelope.

Wanting to share his happiness, Ned asked Keith, “How are you progressing in your search for Gina?”

Keith replied, “So far my efforts to locate her have been futile. It's like she's disappeared from the planet.”

“I can see you're worried,” Ned said. “And we can't have that. You're going on the air in a little over a month, and I don't need you looking haggard or stressed.”

Keith nodded in amazement at the turn of events. The January 14 date had been set.
Second Chances
had been a hit in all the pilot cities. News of the show's launch had already started spreading by word of mouth in the industry. Reporters were calling Ned's office, looking for confirmation.

“I'm going to have to confirm the rumors within the next few weeks or so. But for this venture to be successful, I need you next to me on the podium with your wife, Gina. Your union is the key to the show's success.”

“I know, and I want her by my side. It's what I've always wanted.” Keith hung his head. “Maybe our love wasn't strong enough.”

“Nonsense,” Ned said. “I am now a firm believer in the power of an intense love like what you and Gina share. Love like that doesn't die easily. If ever.” With a quick wave of his hand, Ned retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and punched in a number, using his speed dial. He shifted his body away from Keith.

Keith gave Ned legroom, knowing that the caller on the other end was not the type of man a minister would consort with. He heard Ned whisper orders in rapid-fire succession. Keith held up his hands to signal to Ned that his assistance was not necessary.

“You have five minutes,” Ned commanded and disconnected the call.

Keith smiled as Ned shrugged. He gave Keith a thumbs-up, indicating that all would end well.

Keith prayed. His heart rate escalated. He knew he would not appreciate the unsavory character Ned was using, but Keith still prayed for results. Sometimes you had to go to Egypt when there was famine. Keith comforted himself with the old Bible story of the sons of Jacob, worshippers of the one true God, who had to venture into the land of idol worshippers to get food.

Time crept by. Keith tried to tune out the sound of the clock's ticking, but it was pointless. A couple of times he tried to start a conversation, but Ned did not take the bait. After what felt like an interminable wait, the shrill ring of Ned's phone echoed off the walls.

Keith exhaled, signifying his impatience. He tapped his feet, rubbed his head, and paced back and forth throughout the entire call.

Ned disconnected the call after what felt like forever.

“Go check your fax,” he said.

“You found her?”

“I found her.”