My Very UnFairy Tale Life (8 page)

Chapter 13

“Jenny, do you want to come over and watch TV with us this weekend?” asked Trish.

I zipped up my bulging backpack and heaved it over my shoulder. I'd only been back at school a few days, and already I was swamped with homework. I fell in step between Trish and Melissa as we headed to the buses.

“Again?” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. I didn't dislike watching TV, but that was all Melissa and Trish ever wanted to do. They didn't even chat or joke around while they watched. They stared at the screen with their mouths open, like they were trying to drink in every image they saw. Sometimes I would get so bored that I'd count how many times they blinked while they were watching. It was a disturbingly low number.

“Don't you want to hang out with us?” said Melissa, her face falling. Her eyes, though, were as empty as ever. I couldn't remember them being that way before, but now they always seemed blank. Was that yet another side effect of Dr. Bradley's magic?

“Of course I want to hang out with you guys!” I said. What was wrong with me? I had wanted my old friends back, and now I had them. Why couldn't I be happy with that?

But the problem was that I couldn't help remembering how much more fun my friends used to be. When we'd been younger, the three of us had acted out our favorite fairy tales and written funny poems about each another. Trish had dragged us to the library to sniff all the musty old books, and Melissa had made us listen to the songs she'd learned in her voice lessons. I'd been the one to plan little challenges for us, like seeing who could make her family members say “cantaloupe” the most times in one day. (I never won those sorts of challenges since I just had Aunt Evie, but they were still fun to invent.)

I knew we were too old to do some of those things now, but did that mean we had to watch silly TV shows in absolute silence for hours on end? Even when we weren't watching TV, all Trish and Melissa wanted to talk about were actors and actresses I'd never heard of. It was like they didn't care about their own lives, only about the fictional ones they saw on TV.

“Melissa, do you sing?” I not-so-subtly asked as we walked by the main office. The secretary gave me a wave, but I pretended not to see her. I didn't need her asking me about my “grandfather” again.

Melissa shrugged. “I used to, but it started taking up too much of my time.”

“Yeah,” Trish squeaked. “She was never around to hang out.”

“So what did you do when you were by yourself?” I asked Trish.

She thought for a moment. “I read a lot,” she said. I almost smiled until she added, “But it was making me miss my shows, so I stopped.”

I sighed. What had happened to my friends? Unless they'd been abducted by aliens, I just couldn't believe they were the same girls. Maybe memory dust was more harmful than Dr. Bradley had let on.

“Hey, I know!” said Trish. “We can come watch TV at your house this weekend, Jenny. We still haven't seen where you live.”

“And don't say no,” said Melissa. “We don't care if you're not done unpacking yet.”

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't exactly invite my “new” friends over to my house since I didn't actually have the parents I kept talking about. I knew I should have just told Trish and Melissa the truth from the beginning, but for a while, at least, it had been nice to pretend I was just like them.

“I think my dad's planning on painting the living room,” I said finally, hating myself for yet another lie. “He wouldn't want us in the way.”

Melissa shrugged. “Okay, then we'll go to my house.”

I said good-bye to my friends and hopped onto the bus. After I found an empty seat and plopped down, I couldn't shake the icky feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was having a regular life supposed to be this hard? Or was I just doing it wrong?

Suddenly something white darted past the bus window. I sat up. Was it a fairy? Or worse, a unicorn?

Then I saw what it was: a plastic bag. The wind blew and the bag drifted away.

Great, I was losing it. Maybe I should have made Dr. Bradley sprinkle
me
with memory dust. Then I could stop looking for things that weren't there and be happy with the things that were.

But I
was
happy, I told myself. This was exactly what I wanted. To be normal.

The bus rolled along, eventually going past Dr. Bradley's old house. Or at least what
used
to be his house. It looked more deserted and run-down than ever with heaps of other people's garbage piled up in the yard.

Where was he now? Monitoring someone else on his puddle screen? Feeding some other adventurer batches of homemade butterscotch pudding?

Not that I cared. I was just fine never seeing that crazy doctor ever again. Not after he'd…But the trouble was that it was getting harder to remember the bad things he'd done when there had been so many good. Yes, Dr. Bradley had taken my friends from me, but now I wasn't sure if they were as great as I remembered them being. And he'd kept my parents' true identities a secret, but what little he had been able to tell me didn't give me enough to be able to find them.

But the worst part was that Dr. Bradley had really been my friend. For three years I'd told him all about my adventures, and he had listened and smiled and joked with me. Now that he was gone, all I had were memories. Even Anthony, as crazy as he'd made me, had at least shared some of those experiences with me. With no one to talk to about them, it was almost like my adventures had never happened. All I had were the treasure chests in my closet, and those weren't exactly great at conversation.

The bus pulled up to my house. When I unlocked the front door, I was almost bowled over by an angry goose trying to escape. I managed to grab it by the tail before it ran out the door.

As I finally finished wrestling the goose back inside, feathers flying, I heard an unfamiliar voice call out from down the hall. “Jenny?” it said.

I turned to see an amazingly cute boy standing in my living room. Everything from his hair to his clothes to his lopsided grin was straight out of an ad for suntan lotion. And yet there was something familiar about him.

“Do I know you?” My backpack slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor.

The boy laughed. “Jenny, it's me. Prince Lamb.”

I blinked. Besides the boy's grin, there was nothing sheepish about him. His skin, which had once been mayonnaise-colored, now glowed with a flawless tan. His curly mop was carefully slicked and gelled. And his clothes were catalog-perfect.

“You have a mouth!” I managed to say when I could breathe again.

Prince Lamb nodded. “The Committee worked some of its magic this morning. I would never fit into your world without a mouth.”

“But you look so different. What happened to you?”

Prince Lamb's grin widened. “Ribba gave me a makeover.”

Wow. Ribba really was good at the whole stylist thing. Even Prince Lamb's voice sounded different than it had when I'd heard it in my head. It was stronger and more confident now.

“But what are you
doing
here?” I asked. “Aren't you…mad at me?”

The prince's forehead wrinkled. “Why would I be angry with you?”

“Well.” I felt my cheeks getting hot. “I did kind of let your kingdom down. You know, by not defeating Klarr and all of that.”

“Ah,” said Prince Lamb. “Well, you don't need to worry about that, Jenny. I understand your decision.”

“You do? It didn't seem that way before.”

“At first I was angry,” he admitted. “But then I realized you were right. You did what you could, and it was someone else's turn to try.”

“And you guys figured it out, right? You found a way to beat Klarr?”

The prince hesitated. “Well, no. The sorcerer struck back and has been destroying the kingdom of Speak, bit by bit. But I am sure it is only a matter of time before he's stopped.”

“Wait. Your kingdom is under attack, and you came
here
?”

“I wanted to stay and fight, but Mother begged the Committee to take me somewhere safe so Klarr couldn't kidnap me again. It took a few days for the paperwork to go through, but the Committee members finally decided to send me here. They figured I'd be all right in a non-magical world.”

“I'm sorry,” I said, knowing it was partly my fault that his world was no longer safe.

“I'm sure my mother will find a solution. And who knows, I might decide I like living among humans.”

“But you're a prince. You can't just walk away from that.”

Prince Lamb shrugged. “You walked away from being an adventurer.”

“Yeah, but you were born a prince. That means it's for life.”

“You were born an adventurer.” Prince Lamb crossed his arms in front of his chest. I noticed his shirt sleeves were perfectly cuffed at his wrists like someone out of a magazine. Somehow that was one of the most annoying things I'd ever seen.

“Okay, so you want to be a human. Why come to me?”

“I was hoping you could show me how it's done.”

I laughed. “If I find out, I'll let you know.”

“Come on, Jenny. We're friends. Won't you help me?”

His pleading eyes pierced into me. Of all the creatures I had met in my travels, Prince Lamb was the first one to seek me out afterward. The others had just said their good-byes and forgotten me like a bad song. But Prince Lamb had wanted to see me again. And he needed my help, not because I was a hero but because I was a regular girl.

“Do you mean it?” I asked. “Are we really friends?”

The prince gave me a lopsided grin. “Of course we are.”

How could I turn him down? I wasn't exactly swimming in friends these days. But more than that, I felt like I owed Prince Lamb after abandoning his kingdom. If I couldn't defeat Klarr, at least I could help the prince by giving him a place to hide out.

“Okay, fine,” I said. “But I'm done with all that magical stuff. So while you're here, you have to act like a totally normal human.”

Prince Lamb nodded eagerly. “Of course.”

“And you can't tell anyone who you really are, okay? One slipup and the Committee will spray everybody with memory dust. I can't let that happen again. Got it?”

“Yes,” said Prince Lamb, holding his hands up in surrender. “I'll do whatever you say, Jenny. I promise.”

I tried to tell myself that I was doing the right thing, that Prince Lamb needed my help. But as much as I wanted to believe that I was making the right decision, I couldn't help wondering if maybe I was making a huge mistake.

Chapter 14

I'd always been a little jealous of how much attention Aunt Evie paid to her animal patients. But after seeing her fawn all over Prince Lamb at dinner that first night, I realized I'd been lucky my aunt had been a little oblivious to me over the years.

“Are you sure you don't want me to cut up your broccoli for you?” Aunt Evie asked as she hovered over Prince Lamb's plate. Maybe she could somehow sense that he was a lamb at heart.

“Thank you,” the prince said. “I think I can manage.”

Considering this was the prince's first meal ever, he was doing better than managing. It took him a few tries to get into the swing of chewing, but soon he was munching away like a pro. As I watched him savoring every bite, I tried to imagine what it would be like to taste food for the first time.

“This meal is…” Prince Lamb searched for the word. “Delicious.”

Aunt Evie beamed as she went back to her seat. “Just wait until you try my kibble brownies!” She turned to me. “Your friend is such a gentleman.”

I had to admit that Aunt Evie was right. Even though his table manners weren't perfect—and who could blame him after he'd only had a mouth for a day!—the prince was an excellent guest. I assumed that came from a lifetime of preparing to be king one day.

“So how long will you be in town, Prince?” said Aunt Evie.

I swallowed a giggle. Only my aunt wouldn't notice that “Prince” was an unusual name.

“As long as you'll have me,” said Prince Lamb.

Aunt Evie looked puzzled.

“Didn't I tell you?” I chimed in. “Prince is staying with us. He's a, um, new exchange student.”

“Oh, how lovely!” said Aunt Evie. “Maybe we'll learn a new language.” She leaned down and slipped a piece of broccoli to a raccoon that was rubbing up against her leg.

The doorbell rang.

“I'll get it,” I said, jumping to my feet. The only people who came by unannounced were girl scouts selling cookies or boy scouts raising money for field trips. Aunt Evie would usually “donate” a bag of birdseed and send them on their way. I liked to save the poor kids from having to drag the unwanted bags all the way home.

But when I opened the door, I was stunned at the sight of the two visitors on my front steps.

“Surprise!” Trish squealed.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

“We wanted to help you unpack and decorate!” said Melissa. “It'll be a way to celebrate the end of your first week here.”

“Oh…thanks. But it's not really a good time right now.”

Melissa's smile disappeared. “Look, Jenny,” she said, giving Trish a sideways glance. “We don't know you that well, but it seems like you're hiding something.”

What could I say? I couldn't tell them the truth, or some member of the Committee would swoop in and erase their memories again. But I couldn't stand to lie anymore. Ever since I'd reintroduced myself to Melissa and Trish, I'd done nothing but compare them to how they used to be. But now I realized that I had changed too. The old Jenny would never have lied to her best friends.

“Well—” I began.

“Oh my gosh!” Trish squeaked, her eyes focusing on something behind me.

Melissa also appeared stunned. “He looks like a soap-opera star,” she whispered.

I turned to see Prince Lamb standing behind me, looking cuter than even the most popular boys at school.

“Melissa, Trish, this is—”

“I'm Prince,” Prince Lamb broke in. He came forward and shook hands with Trish and Melissa. They both looked like they might faint.

“Prince like the singer?” said Trish.

“Prince like the monarch,” Prince Lamb answered. He ran his hand through his sculpted hair, half closing his eyes as he did it. I could almost picture Ribba coaching him on that move.

“Oh,” said Trish, blinking rapidly.

“He's my cousin,” I said, racking up yet another lie. “He's visiting.”

“From California?” asked Melissa. Her blank eyes were so wide, I was afraid they might actually fall out of her head.

“Yes,” I jumped in as Prince Lamb started to answer.

“Do you know any famous actors?” said Trish. She practically had drool dribbling down her chin.

Prince Lamb's face lit up. “Actually, I do know this one frog—”

“No one you would've heard of,” I jumped in again.

“How long are you here for, Prince?” asked Melissa. She tossed her hair over her shoulder in a way she'd probably gotten from a TV show.

“For as long as they'll have me.” The prince gave a little wink, and I saw Melissa shiver.

“So you'll be in school with us?” Trish shrieked.

“No,” I said just as Prince Lamb gave an eager nod.

“Of course I'll be attending your school,” he said. “I wouldn't have it otherwise.” He turned and gave me a meaningful look.

I wanted to object. What if the prince's identity was discovered and the Committee brainwashed my entire school again? But as Prince Lamb looked at me, all I could do was nod. Maybe it was crazy, but I'd told him I would help. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't back out on another promise.

“Who's at the door?” Aunt Evie called from the hall. I tried to block the doorway, but it was too late.

“Oh, is that your mom?” said Trish.

“We want to meet her!” said Melissa, pushing me out of the way.

Before I could stop them, they were inside and face-to-face with Aunt Evie.

“Hello,” my aunt said uncertainly, looking like a cornered mouse.

“Hi, I'm Melissa.”

“And I'm Trish.” She grabbed Aunt Evie's hand and shook it like a baby rattle. “It's so nice to finally meet you!” She glanced over at me. “Is your dad around too?”

Aunt Evie cocked her head to the side. “Oh my,” she said to Trish. “I'm afraid you're a little confused. Jenny's father has been gone for years.”

Trish's face fell. “But I thought…”

Melissa spun around to face me, her eyes narrowing. “You said you lived with both of your parents.”

I swallowed. “Um…”

“She used to,” said Aunt Evie. “But that was a long time ago, when she was just a puppy. No one has seen them in years.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head like it was all such a pity.

“Wait,” said Trish. “So you're not Jenny's mom?”

“Oh no,” said Aunt Evie. “I'm her father's sister. I'm afraid I'm not very good with children.”

I looked down at my feet, but I could feel Trish and Melissa's eyes burning into the top of my head. I didn't know how to go about trying to explain.

“Would anyone like some dinner?” Prince Lamb chimed in. His words did nothing to break up the suffocating tension in the room.

“No thanks,” Trish said coldly. “Come on, Melissa.”

“Good-bye, Jenny. If that's even your real name,” Melissa spat.

My two best friends stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind them. Time seemed to stop. What had I done? There was no way Melissa and Trish would ever believe anything I said now. I'd thought losing them the first time had been hard. But losing them again hurt a hundred times more.