Nameless Series Boxed Set (34 page)

Which
disappeared the instant she heard Mackenzie start to cry again.

With a
frustrated groan, Erin hurried back into the living room. “I hope she doesn’t
do this for you all evening.”

Seth joined her,
and they both stared down at their screaming daughter.

After a minute,
Erin couldn’t stand it anymore. She reached down to pick Mackenzie up. Hugging her
against her chest, Erin jostled the infant gently. The crying softened a
little, but didn’t stop. “Pumpkin,” she murmured, an edge of despair in her
voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m sorry I can’t make it better.”

When she
glanced over at Seth, she discovered he was watching her strangely.

Feeling like
she’d been caught exposing herself in some way, Erin shook her head. “I can’t
leave her with you if she’s like this.”

“We’ll be
fine,” Seth assured her, although he looked a little stiff.

Blowing out a
breath, Erin said over Mackenzie’s cries, “Let’s try the pacifier. She didn’t
want it earlier today, but it usually helps. There’s a clean one in the
dishwasher. Would you mind?”

Seth agreeably
walked into the kitchen and returned with a pacifier. Erin offered it to Mackenzie,
and—after a moment—she consented to settle down and suck on it.

Erin almost
groaned in relief as she felt her daughter relaxing in her arms. “Hopefully,
she’ll be so exhausted from her long day that she’ll sleep a lot of the time I’m
gone. You know where her diapers and everything are, right? And she’ll be
hungry in a couple of hours. There’s breast-milk in the refrigerator. You know
how to—”

Giving her an
impatient look from under his brows, Seth interrupted, “I know how to feed her.
I know where everything is. I’ve been over here a lot in the last month,
remember?”

“Right. Thanks
for doing this.” She handed Mackenzie over to Seth, who adjusted the infant
against his chest.

This time, Mackenzie
didn’t start screaming. She just lounged against Seth, sucking contentedly on
the white pacifier, even though her expression was still rather crabby.

Erin smiled
fondly and shook her head. “I’ve been trying not to give her the pacifier all
the time, so she doesn’t get too dependent. I know it’s trendy to not use
pacifiers at all, but sometimes it’s the only thing that—”

“Erin,” Seth
cut in crisply. He actually sounded annoyed. “Why are you explaining yourself
to me? Do you think I’m going to question you? The American Academy of
Pediatrics has claimed that there’s nothing psychologically or medically
harmful about infants using pacifiers. Do you actually believe I’m so arrogant
that I’d think to know better than them?"

Erin was
momentarily so overwhelmed by embarrassment and a strange sort of comfort that
she felt like shuffling her feet. “Oh. Sorry. I guess I’m always kind of
worried that I’m going to screw up.”

Then she
registered everything Seth had just said.

Incongruously,
she began to giggle.

He narrowed his
eyes. “Now what have I done to make you laugh at me?”

“Nothing. You’ve
been great. It’s just kind of funny that you know so many facts about
pacifiers.”

“As I’ve told
you before, I always do my research.”

He looked so
incongruous that Erin couldn't quite process it. Articulate, handsome, and
professional, with his chiseled features and smug sneer, dressed in expensive
trousers and a dress shirt, despite the casual setting. And yet he was holding
a blue-eyed baby, who wore a sloppy purple sleeper and sucked on a pacifier,
and every once in a while he jostled her lightly, just like Erin did herself.

It was Seth. The
same Seth he’d been last year.

His brows
lowered. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Thanks
for doing this.”

“You’ve said
that now three times.”

Erin was saved
from having to think of a response by a knock at the door. She hurried over to
let her sister in.

Liz was dressed
up and looked both cheerful and provocative. On seeing Erin, however, she
frowned, “I thought you were going to wear a skirt.”

“If you had the
day I’ve had, you wouldn’t be wearing a skirt either. This was the best I could
do.”

“Well, you look
pretty good anyway. I can’t wait for you to meet Danny.”

When they
stepped into the living room, Seth was still standing in the middle of the
floor, holding Mackenzie and frowning slightly.

At Liz’s words,
however, he arched an eyebrow at Erin. “Danny,” he said glibly under his
breath. “Sounds promising.”

Erin scowled at
him agreeably and moved closer to give Mackenzie a kiss.

“Be good for
your daddy, pumpkin,” she whispered. Then she glanced up to Seth. “I’ll have my
phone on, so just call me if you need to.”

“We’ll be
fine,” Seth said with exaggerated patience.

Erin was
standing very close to him, and—when she leaned over to kiss Mackenzie goodbye—Erin
unconsciously slid her hand up to Seth’s shoulder for support. “Bye, sweetie,”
she said softly, pressing a kiss onto the top of Mackenzie’s head. “I won’t be
gone long.”

“Are we done
with the farewells yet?” Liz complained from behind her. “At this rate, the
restaurant will be closed before we get there. Dinner, and our gentlemen, awaits.”

Erin felt
strange having a gentleman waiting for her. Especially when another gentleman
was holding her daughter and gazing at her silently, deeply, intently. But she
managed to start toward the door after kissing her daughter only one more time.

“Thanks again, Seth.
I won’t be late,” Erin called over her shoulder, as she was leaving.

“Yes, she
will,” Liz corrected.

Erin sighed as
they closed the front door and walked toward the elevator. She hoped Seth was
going to be okay with Mackenzie.

“Seriously,”
she said as they got into the elevator. “I’m happy to go out with you all, but
I want to get back at a decent time.”

“We’ll play it
by ear. I think it might be good for you to get out for a while. Maybe you’ll
have such a good time that you’ll
want
to stay out late.”

Already
exhausted, Erin leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Tried
to remember what it had been like when going out like this had been second nature.

It wasn’t even
seven o’clock, but it already felt like a late night.

***

The double date should have gone
well.

It would have
gone well, and Erin would have enjoyed it, had she been able to concentrate for
any length of time.

But, by the
time they got to the restaurant, she was in an exhausted, blurry haze, and by
the time the food arrived, she had trouble thinking about anything except what
was happening in her apartment with Mackenzie and Seth.

Danny was very
cute in a boyish way, and he seemed to be sweet, relatively intelligent, and
funny. He also loved kids and spent a lot of time asking Erin about Mackenzie. There
was nothing about him that really annoyed Erin, and he was the kind of guy she
had always liked. As far as blind dates went, Danny was top of the line.

It was a very
good date, by anyone’s standards.

But Erin could
barely keep from yawning.

She was just so
tired and distracted, and it felt like she was going through the motions half
asleep. Plus, she kept worrying incessantly—about whether Mackenzie was still
squalling, about whether she would cry herself sick, about whether she was
missing her mommy, about whether Seth was getting tired of putting up with her,
about whether he’d ever want to spend time with her again.

So, even though
it was only nine o’clock when they finished dinner, Erin decided she’d had
enough.

They were
getting up to leave—discussing the possibility of doing something else
afterwards—when Erin pulled Liz aside, insisting that she come to the restroom
with her.

Once they were
there, Erin decided she actually needed to use the bathroom, so, as she went
into the stall, she explained that she’d had a good time but was now ready to
go home.

“But it’s still
early. Don’t you like Danny?” Liz asked. From the location of her feet, Erin
assumed her sister was checking out her appearance in the mirror.

“I do. He seems
great and is very cute. I just can’t focus on things. I’m so tired, and it’s
been such a long day. I just...I don’t know.”

Liz waited
until Erin had flushed the toilet before she responded. “All right. I guess I
understand. I’d hoped we would make it to at least ten o’clock though.”

Erin let out a
resigned exhale as she left the stall and went to wash her hands. “I know.” 
She stared at her slightly wan face in the mirror. She definitely wasn’t
looking her best this evening. “I’m pathetic. But I really want to go home.”

“Should we give
Danny any encouragement?” Liz asked, slanting a sideways look at her.

Erin made a
face as she rinsed the soap off her hands. “I don't know. Let me think about it.
He really does seem like a great guy, but I don’t know if...”

“I get it. No
spark.” Then her expression changed slightly, and she studied the reflection of
Erin’s face intently. “Should we keep looking for someone for you, or have you
decided you’re happy with what you have?”

Stiffening, Erin
was immediately defensive. “What I
have
? You mean a good life, a
daughter, and my independence?”

 “Well, that,
of course. And...”

“And
what
?”
Erin yanked paper towels out of the dispenser with more force than was entirely
necessary.

“I was just
wondering if you’d finally decided that there was more there than you
originally thought.”

Erin felt like
squirming, for some reason. She’d never felt this uncomfortable when Liz had
questioned her about Seth in the past. She didn’t like the feeling. At all.

“I’m not in
love with him, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said coolly, narrowing her
eyes and trying not to look self-conscious. She was speaking the truth—was
still convinced she wasn’t in love with Seth.

But the topic didn’t
feel quite as cut-and-dry as it used to.

***

Erin felt a strange sort of
relief wash over her as she finally walked in quietly through the front door of
her apartment, closing the door behind her.

It felt like
she’d been gone for ages, although she’d really been gone less than three
hours.

When she took a
few steps in, she discovered that the living room was empty, although the
television was on and set to a cable news channel. The sound was muted because
the people talking on the news program were doing so silently.

The room was
messier than it had been when Erin had left, with toys scattered around, a
half-empty bottle on the coffee table next to a burp cloth and pacifier, and Seth’s
shoes and socks left on the floor next to the couch.

Standing in the
middle of the floor and listening, Erin recognized the sound of Mackenzie’s
fussing from another room. The baby wasn’t screaming at the top of her lungs,
but she sounded like she was in the later stages of a temper-fit, when she’d
grown too tired to sustain the loud decibels, even though she was still just as
unhappy.

Shaking her
head resignedly, Erin walked to the hall, hoping that Seth and Mackenzie hadn’t
had a miserable time of it.

The sounds were
coming from the nursery, so Erin headed in that direction. Before she even made
it to the doorway, however, she heard Seth’s cultured, familiar voice.

“I can’t do it
if you keep wiggling around,” he said, his tone cool and calm, although Erin
recognized an edge of frustration beneath the surface. “I realize it’s a very
undignified activity, but we’d accomplish it better if you could manage to stop
crying for a few minutes.”

Intrigued and
strangely touched by overhearing this incongruous, one-sided conversation, Erin
slowed down and kept quiet, peeking in through the doorway of the nursery to
see what was going on.

Seth’s back was
to her, and he stood in front of the changing table, removing what appeared to
be a very dirty diaper.

Mackenzie gurgled
and fussed, flailing her arms and legs, and arching up her back in enthusiastic
protest of this indignity.

Seth held the
dirty diaper fastidiously, folding it over and then disposing of it. “I
certainly don’t blame you for objecting to suffering through
that
,” Seth
continued conversationally to his wriggling daughter. “I wouldn’t have imagined
such a pretty little girl could produce something quite so—”

One of Mackenzie’s
arms hit Seth hard on the forearm, and she must have found new energy, since
she broke into a loud howl.

Seth had pulled
a baby wipe out of the container and was attempting to clean off Mackenzie’s bottom,
but he was having some trouble coordinating the action because of the infant’s
flailing.

“I see,” Seth
continued, his voice growing slightly breathless. Erin thought she noticed a
sheen of perspiration on the side of his face. “Very rude of me to speak about
you that way. You’re absolutely right to be offended.  But I do need to clean
you up.” He tried to use the baby wipe again, but this time she kicked out at
him angrily.

Seth rubbed his
forehead with his sleeve, while holding onto the baby with his other hand. “I
can’t put on the clean diaper unless you hold still for a moment. I’m sure
there’s some sort of trick to this that I’m missing.”

Erin realized
she was smiling fondly as she watched. Was actually holding her breath,
wondering what he would do or say next.

Then she
realized that she should really take pity on him and help him out. She was just
about to announce her presence when Seth managed to coordinate his grip on Mackenzie
enough to use the wipe.

With a groan of
relief, Seth disposed of the wipe. “There. I really don’t think it was all
that
appalling. Now, am I allowed to put on a new diaper?”