Necessary Heartbreak (28 page)

Elizabeth and Michael sat patiently at the mat while Leah lit the oil lamp suspended over them, casting a shimmering light around the room. After saying a blessing, she placed a cup of wine before each of them. Leah took a sip of hers and motioned to Elizabeth and Michael to do the same.

“Can I, Dad?”

Michael hesitated. He looked at Leah and remembered what had occurred during the last few hours with Cassie. “Well, why not? It's a good day to celebrate a little.”

Elizabeth reached for her cup, watching the wine swirl inside when she picked it up. Even after Leah had thinned the wine with water, it was still thicker than eggnog. Elizabeth could smell its sweetness and slowly brought the cup to her lips. The wine reminded her of the kind they used at mass, but this was far darker in color, and when she tasted it, she liked it.

“Hmm . . . good.”

Michael smiled. “Sip it slowly, please.”

“Okay, Dad.”

Leah placed a bowl of water down on the mat and washed her hands. “Please, join me.” She gave them leaves of lettuce. She dipped hers into a bowl containing a lumpy mixture; Michael and Elizabeth followed suit.

“Mmm,” Elizabeth said, “this is good. What is this, Leah?”

“I made it especially for you, Elizabeth. It's charoset. You make it from honey and crushed nuts.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said, dipping another piece of lettuce into the bowl.

“This
is
good,” Michael agreed. “Thanks, Leah.”

Leah, who was happy to see them enjoying this special meal, indicated the plate covered by a cloth on the center of the mat. She removed the cloth to reveal three matzos, the middle of which she broke into two, hiding the larger piece back under the cloth.

“I know you are hungry,” she said, giving Michael a wink.

“Do you have any questions about this holiday?” Leah asked Elizabeth, who was flustered from the few sips of wine she had taken.

“Um, well, what makes this night so special?”

Leah smiled at her as she began to tell them about the rich history of Passover and her people.

As she retold the story in the same precise and methodical way it had originally been told to her, Michael became captivated by how the lamp's glow illuminated her rosy cheeks and green eyes.

Wonder how old she is?
He found her so beautiful and her tone reassuring. He tried to pay attention to what she was saying but her voice was like an elixir, easing all the physical and mental stress he had endured over the past few days.

Occasionally, Leah would reach over and touch his hands when making a point about the holiday. Her touch was magnetic; he moved closer to her. When Leah would brush her hair from her face to regroup her thoughts, his heart seemed to pound harder.

When Leah finished, Michael glanced over at Elizabeth and noticed how relaxed she seemed. She was smiling, too.

Leah placed another cup of wine in front of them. “Your second cup of wine.”

“Oh my,” Michael said. “How many cups of wine do we get?”

“I am supposed to set out four.”

“Thank you!” Elizabeth squealed.

“Hey, Baboo, just take one sip from the rest of them, okay?”

Leah washed her hands in the bowl again, encouraging Michael and Elizabeth to do the same. Lifting the two matzos plus the half
from the third, Leah recited a blessing, then divided the bread among them. She showed them how to dip a leaf of lettuce into the charoset before placing it in the center of matzo pieces to form a sandwich. She ate hers, encouraging Michael and Elizabeth to do likewise.

Leah looked pleased with them when she uncovered the remaining bowls on the mat, revealing a feast of cheese, nuts, and fish.

“We're not having lamb tonight,” she said, looking at Elizabeth.

“Hurray!”

“I hope you don't mind the fish,” Leah said to Michael.

Michael smiled. “Fish is great tonight, thank you.”

After they ate from the bowls, Leah brought out the hidden matzo half as dessert. She then placed another cup of wine in front of them.

“Oh, jeez,” Michael said, looking over at Elizabeth, who had fallen asleep. Smiling at Leah, he asked, “What about her?”

“Perhaps I shouldn't have made the charoset?”

“Why?”

“Because there's wine in it.”

Michael looked over at Elizabeth. “Oh, no!”

He glared at Leah, pretending to be shocked, but then began to laugh. “Well, it doesn't look like we're getting back to the tunnel tonight. I can't carry her.”

“I am glad. I was worried. I didn't want to say it before, but with everyone celebrating Passover, the streets will be empty except for soldiers. You can hide in a crowd from them, but you're at their mercy when you're alone.”

Michael nodded. “I guess you're right. Let me make Elizabeth more comfortable. C'mon, sweetie, get up.” He tucked his arm underneath Elizabeth's to lift her. She felt heavy to him as he staggered over to her bedroll.

Placing her down gently, he whispered, “Sleep well, Baboo.” He brushed her hair from her eyes and kissed her forehead before turning to leave.

“Night, Daddy,” Elizabeth mumbled as she rubbed her face into the blanket.

Leah watched from the other room, but when Michael returned to the dining area, she sat down quickly at the mat. He sat facing her. Leah placed the final cup of wine in front of him.

“If I must,” he said, smiling, picking it up and taking a sip. He was enjoying this time with her, and the wine was sweet and smooth in his mouth. “This is really good,” he said, leaning on his right elbow, reclining closer to Leah. “Do you mind?”

“No, I don't mind,” she said, watching him closely. “You know, I have enjoyed my time with Elizabeth. She has been a pleasure to me.”

“Yeah, she's a great kid. She's a lot like her mother: so friendly and happy. I'm not like that at all. I wish I were. I'm just an old guy who pushes people away.”

“No, I don't think you're like that.”

“You don't?” he said, rather pleased. “What do you think I'm like?”

“Well . . . what can I say?”

“Oh, c'mon, you can tell me.” Michael sat up, moving closer to her and adding with a smile, “I can take it.”

Leah placed her cup of wine down.

“You're very strong, Michael, but you are kind, too, and loving, especially with Elizabeth . . . and what a cook you are!”

Leah smiled at him, which drew his attention to her soft lips, and he leaned over slightly without thinking. She looked into his eyes, her hair falling in front of her face. She brushed it back behind her ear.

“You make me believe,” she whispered to him.

Something snapped in Michael's head and he recoiled quickly, standing up. “I've got to go.”

“Michael?”

“I need some air.”

Michael started climbing down the ladder, but stopped abruptly to glance back at Elizabeth. “I'm sorry, can you please watch over her?”

“Of course, of course, but where are you going?”

He didn't answer. He was already in the courtyard heading for the gate.

The slapping of his sandals on the hard stone road echoed throughout the empty streets of Jerusalem. Michael walked around aimlessly, almost unaware of how deserted the streets were.

What am I doing out here? What about the soldiers? What if I get caught? They'll surely kill me this time.

He stopped in the middle of the street and looked around.
Where am I? I've got to get Elizabeth out of here. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I let it go this far?

Remorse built up inside his mind, disabling his eyes as they stayed transfixed on the unusual structures of the city. His stare was disrupted when he heard someone approaching. Michael turned and noticed a bald man wearing a purple belt around his waist. Thankful he wasn't a soldier, Michael relaxed slightly.

“Excuse me,” he said, “I've lost my way.”

“Then it's best you find it,” the man responded. “For a man like you, this is not a night to be out.”

“Why?”

The man looked at him with pity. “Roman soldiers will be in the streets very soon. You would be wise to be away from here before they come.”

“But there's nobody out here,” Michael said, looking around at the vacant streets.

“There will be.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn't concern you. Move on!”

“You're right,” Michael agreed quickly, trying to quiet him. He glanced over his shoulder, fearful that the man would draw attention to them—the kind of attention Roman soldiers would notice.

The man nodded approvingly. “You are wise to think that way. Now go home.”

Michael saw two Roman soldiers moving toward them at a slow, leisurely pace. He nodded farewell to the bald man and walked to the other side of the street. The soldiers quickened their step, trotting past him as they caught up with the bald man.

As he watched them, fear gripped him.
Are they talking about me?
I'm not waiting to find out.
He frantically looked around, but there was nowhere to hide, so he sprinted to a darkened alley.

Wham!
He ran into someone.

“Watch out!” a man shouted angrily. He stooped to retrieve the the bag he had dropped.

“I'm sorry, sir,” Michael replied, bending down to help. He picked up a couple of coins. As the bearded man stood up, Michael recognized him. “Oh, it's you,” he said in surprise. “You helped me in the marketplace the other day.”

The man glanced at him, then turned quickly, looking nervously around. “What are you doing out tonight?”

Still hazy from the wine, Michael recklessly blurted out, “Maybe I'm looking for Jesus. You know where the garden is?”

“What do you mean?” the man asked, frowning.

“Well, maybe I'm wrong—heck, maybe I'm even dreaming.”

“Friend, you're not dreaming. Go home.”

“Buddy, I don't know where home is.”

“Then go back to where you came from. It is dangerous. Everyone
out here is dangerous tonight. Believe me, you don't know who your friends are.”

Michael noticed how closely the man was holding the pouch to his chest.

“Go now,” said the man. Suddenly he broke into a run, the bag swinging from his hand.

Stunned, Michael watched as the man's figure retreated. “Wait!” he called, holding up the coins. “You forgot your money.” He began to run, too. “Stop! You forgot your money!”

Knowing it was probably a bad idea to follow him, but too drunk to care, Michael continued to pursue the man. Rounding the corner, he caught a glimpse of him about twenty yards ahead, darting to the left into an alleyway.

These streets! It's like running through a maze, and I'm the rat.

When he came to the end of the alley, Michael saw the man reach the wall surrounding the city and run through a gate into the dark night. He was gone.