Never Mind The Botox: Rachel (31 page)

‘Just like us,’ said Rachel, already well down her third glass of champagne.

As they sat chatting, a large group of people came bounding noisily into the pub.

‘Hurry up, you lot. The quiz starts in five minutes,’ shouted the guy at the front of the pack.

Rachel looked up. She knew that voice. It was Jonny Strauss, a workmate of Harry’s. Walking a couple of paces behind him, dressed in a black leather jacket and jeans, was Harry. Rachel’s heart jumped. She watched him walk across the bar, laughing and chatting to his friends. Damn he looked good.

The group sat down at a large, round table and started shouting their orders at Jonny, who was already at the bar. Rachel knew Jonny fairly well − he was a regular in Harry’s party crew − and she vaguely recognised two of the other guys, but she didn’t know the rest at all.

‘Rachel, did you hear me?’ Rosa was talking to her.

‘Sorry, Rosa what were you saying?’ Rachel forced herself to look away from Harry.

‘I was just saying that we need to put our form in, before they start without us,’ said Rosa.

Rachel didn’t want to get up. She hadn’t decided if she wanted Harry to see her or not. He was sitting with his back to her, oblivious to the blind panic he’d created in the corner.

‘I’ll do it,’ said AJ.

‘Great, thanks. Ladies’ room calls,’ said Rachel to Rosa and rushed to the safety of the toilets that were on her side of the pub. She went into the cubicle and sat down on the toilet seat. Now what should she do? She tried hard to remember how cross she was with Harry, but the anger didn’t come. Instead she felt breathless and slightly excited, like she was on a first date. Maybe it was the champagne or the fact that she hadn’t seen him for a while. But whichever it was, Rachel suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to give him another chance. Go with your gut feeling, Shali had said. So that’s what she would do.

Rachel carefully reapplied her make-up and brushed her hair. Although she’d been a bit hot, she was very happy she’d stuck with her dress and boots combination − a mixture of sexy and school mistress. Harry would love it.

When she got back to the table, AJ was back with the quiz sheets and they were busy studying the first round of questions.

‘It’s science and nature. Doesn’t look too bad,’ said AJ.

Rachel refilled her glass and by the time they’d worked their way through the questions, it had disappeared. She needed a bit of Dutch courage.

‘So is a newt an amphibian or a reptile, which are we going for?’ AJ asked.

‘I’m sure it’s an amphibian, like a frog,’ said Rosa.

‘But don’t they have scales, which would make it a reptile?’ said Rachel, glancing over at Harry who seemed equally engrossed in the debate on his table.

‘Buggered if I know,’ said AJ.

‘No, a newt has smooth skin. I’m sure it’s an amphibian,’ said Rosa.

‘Let’s go with that then. I’ve never been that close to a newt, only as pissed as one,’ said Rachel, laughing. This was fun. Good old Harry pub, good old quiz.

She got up.

‘Just going to say hi to someone I know over there,’ she said to AJ and Rosa and began to walk slowly towards Harry, mulling over how long she would wait until she put him out of his misery and let him know that she was giving him another chance.

As she approached, Harry sat up from peering over the quiz questions and stretched his arms out behind his back. But instead of putting both his arms back down, he put one of them round the girl sitting next to him, who responded by sliding closer to him and nuzzling his neck.

Rachel froze in her tracks. Who the fuck was that? Even from behind, she could see that the girl was young, really quite young actually. She felt breathless and dizzy, like she’d been punched hard in the stomach, and stared at them, unable to tear her eyes away. Harry stroked the girl’s arm and then pushed his fingers into her hair, massaging the back of her neck. The affection of it made Rachel feel sick and the anger that she’d searched for in the toilets earlier suddenly arrived, and it arrived with a bang.

She marched over to the table and tapped Harry on the shoulder. He turned round, still laughing from some joke they were all sharing. But the joke didn’t last long. Harry’s face dropped almost as quickly as his arm and he bolted out of his seat.

‘Rachel, what are you doing here?’

‘Who is that?’ Rachel asked, pointing at the offending girl. The girl turned round and looked up at them. Her smoky eye make-up was slightly smudged and her lips were pink and sticky with lip gloss. Her cropped hair was tussled and messy, completing the just-got-out-of-bed look to perfection.

‘Hi, I’m Zoe,’ she said, smiling lazily at them both.

Harry grabbed Rachel’s arm and pulled her away towards the bar. Rachel flicked his arm off hers and stood in front of him, blocking his way.

‘I asked you a question.’

‘Rachel, let’s sit down,’ said Harry. He looked around anxiously. ‘Over there,’ he said, pointing to a small table for two in the corner.

Rachel hesitated but then, conscious that people were starting to look at them, she reluctantly followed Harry over to the table. She sat down bolt upright with her arms folded and raised her eyebrows quizzically at Harry.

‘Well?’

‘She’s a student trainee working with one of Jonny’s mates.’

‘She looks about six,’ said Rachel, scowling.

‘She’s nineteen actually,’ said Harry.

‘How long have you…’ Rachel couldn’t bear to finish the sentence. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, but she fought them back.

‘I’ve only just met her,’ said Harry.

‘What about us? I thought you wanted another chance, or was that just another pack of lies?’ Her chin trembled with a mixture of rage and indignation.

‘No, of course it wasn’t. I meant everything I said. But I’ve hardly heard from you and you did tell me it was over, remember?’

Harry reached into his pocket and took out his phone. He found the text she’d sent him that said
Leave me alone. It’s over
and pushed his phone towards her with the message open, like it was his ‘get out of jail free’ card.

‘You were pretty clear,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t wait forever.’

‘Harry, it’s been less than a week! And besides, we have met since that text and I told you I would think about it.’

‘Yes and you were frosty as hell. It was pretty clear to me that we had no chance. You said you’d ring me and you haven’t.’ Harry sat back sulkily in his chair.

‘You know I’ve been totally flat out at work. I’ve hardly had a moment to breathe, let alone think about us. We only finished presenting our findings this morning,’ said Rachel.

‘So work comes first, does it? Right, I see,’ said Harry.

‘No, of course it doesn’t. It’s just the way things worked out.’

‘Seems like work is all you care about to me,’ said Harry.

‘That’s not fair, and besides, if you really wanted us to get back together, you would have waited a couple of weeks,’ said Rachel.

‘I had no one to go out with and it was boring as hell. Zoe was just someone to play with. She doesn’t mean any more to me than that,’ said Harry.

Fuck, he was shallow.

‘Oh, that’s nice for her, a plaything for your amusement.’

‘I didn’t mean it like that. I was just trying to say that it’s not serious,’ said Harry.

‘How could it be serious? You’ve only known her five minutes.’ Rachel glared at him.

Harry looked confused. ‘Sorry, did I miss something? Are you saying that you want us to get back together, that you want me back?’

The directness of the question gave Rachel a lump in her throat. She said yes and no several times in her head, before she dared speak.

‘I at least expected you to wait for me while I thought about it, rather than jumping straight into bed with someone else because you were bored!’

‘That’s not what I asked,’ said Harry.

‘No, I do not want you back,’ said Rachel. How could she say anything else given all he’d done?

‘Well, I can see who I like then. You can’t have it both ways,’ said Harry, sitting back and folding his arms.

Rachel wanted to cry with frustration. ‘If you really loved me then you wouldn’t need someone else.’

‘That’s female emotional bullshit,’ said Harry. ‘It doesn’t work like that in the real world.’

Rachel stared at him, stung by the criticism. ‘Clearly not in your world, anyway,’ she said.

They sat glaring at each other when Jonny suddenly appeared at the side of the table.

‘Mate, sports round. Sorry to interrupt,’ said Jonny, smiling apologetically at Rachel. ‘Which golf course was the first Open Golf Championship played on?’

‘Prestwick in Scotland,’ said Harry without even hesitating.

‘Genius, I told them you would know. Thanks, mate.’

Jonny darted back to the table, totally unaware of the sensitivity of the conversation he’d just interrupted. He announced the answer to the table, making Zoe turn round and look at Rachel and Harry, her brow furrowed slightly with confusion. She smiled shyly at Harry, shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the quiz.

‘I think your playmate wants you,’ said Rachel. Her voice sounded shrill and bitter.

‘Well, at least someone does,’ said Harry and he got up and walked away.

It took all Rachel’s willpower to stop herself shouting ‘So do I!’ and throwing herself after him. Harry didn’t love her and he didn’t deserve her. Her head knew that, but why did her heart feel like it had been smashed into tiny pieces?

Rachel walked slowly back to her table where a rather bemused AJ and Rosa were sitting.

‘Wasn’t that your boyfriend?’ Rosa asked. ‘The one you took to the summer party?’

Rachel nodded, biting her lip.

‘Are you okay?’ AJ asked.

Rachel shook her head. ‘No, not okay, not okay at all, actually,’ she said and the tears began to flow down her cheeks, splashing onto the table in small, neat puddles. Rachel’s chest began to heave up and down as she tried to hold back the sobs.

‘Shit! We’d better go,’ said AJ. He turned to Rosa. ‘I’ll settle up; you take Rachel outside.’ And he sprinted over to the bar, glaring at Harry as he did.

Rosa took Rachel’s arm and guided her out of the pub. By the time they got outside, Rachel was a sobbing wreck, her face streaked with make-up.

Rosa hugged her tightly and stroked her head. ‘Shush, shush, come on now, it will be okay.’

AJ appeared next to them and stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, not quite sure what he should do next.

After a few minutes, Rachel tried to gather herself. ‘Sorry, so sorry. I just had a bit of a shock, that’s all.’ She rummaged round in her handbag for a pack of tissues and began trying to mop up the damp mess on her face.

‘Here,’ said Rosa, gently taking the tissue from Rachel’s hand and wiping away the streaked make-up as best she could.

‘Well, he’s bound to be in the wrong, that’s all I can say,’ said AJ, trying to be helpful. ‘Us blokes always are.’

Rosa glared at him.

‘What? It’s true. When was the last time you had a row where you were in the wrong?’ AJ asked Rosa.

‘Shut up, AJ,’ said Rosa.

AJ shrugged and raised his hands as if to say, don’t shoot the messenger.

‘I’m sure it will blow over,’ said Rosa, still with her arm protectively around Rachel.

‘Not this time,’ said Rachel, sniffing and dabbing her eyes.

Harry had somehow managed to make her feel that it was all her fault. She should have been clearer with him. She shouldn’t have put her work first. Never mind that he had totally betrayed her trust and then cheated on her − well, okay, maybe not strictly cheated on her, but as near as, damn it. Fuck, why couldn’t he have just waited for her? Harry had shown his true colours this time. He needed attention more than he needed her. There was no going back now. It was over and that was that.

‘Look, why don’t we all start a bit later tomorrow?’ suggested Rosa. ‘A bit of a lie in would do us good, don’t you think? Recharge our batteries a bit.’

‘Yes, good idea. Let’s come in for lunchtime,’ said Rachel.

AJ hailed Rachel a cab and, after lots of reassuring them that she would be fine, she headed home on her own. She lay in bed staring into the dark, replaying the events of the evening in her head. Should she have done something differently? Might Harry have waited if she’d phoned him sooner? Had she really been too busy to decide what to do? It didn’t matter now anyway. Harry wasn’t the right guy for her and she was better off without him. She fell asleep telling herself that over and over again, in the hope that when she woke up in the morning it would turn out to be true.

Chapter 24

The sunny freshness of the park did little to help Rachel’s mood as she sat on a bench
sipping her extra large takeaway coffee. Although she’d slept for nearly ten hours, she still felt exhausted. The haze caused by the previous night’s champagne still hovered around in her head and her stomach was knotted so tightly she was finding it hard to eat anything. The shock of seeing Harry with someone else had morphed overnight into a dull acceptance that it was over between them.