Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (25 page)

Jo and I were getting along great in our business and personal relationship. That was until her boyfriend Eric returned home from his tour in Afghanistan. Now, what was strange about how this all went down was, I met Eric first. What I mean is, I met him before she actually introduced him to me as her man. We were at a bar to celebrate his homecoming. Eric was supposed to meet up with us after he picked up his buddy up from the airport. Jo Ann and I got a table and ordered drinks. We had a couple of shots of Tequila and started dancing together.

The DJ was really jamming’. I guess the alcohol must have gotten to Jo because she took off for the restroom in the middle of the song. I left the dance floor and headed for our table. As I made my way through the crowd, I noticed a sexy, tall, tanned man watching me. The closer I got to him the more he smiled. I had to pass right by him to get to my seat.

“Excuse me!” I said trying not to blush. “But you’re standing in front of my table.”

He gestured with his hand for me to come by.

“Um, Um, Um,” he said. “Now, that’s what I miss most about Texas. “They have some of the finest women on the planet!”

“Why, thank you. You’re not too bad yourself.”

Now, keep in mind, Jo Ann had only shown me one picture of Eric, but he looked totally different in person. It had been six months since he had that photo taken. He had obviously been hitting the weights because he was buffed. He was six feet tall, with light brown eyes, and a muscular build. And he had buns that made you want to thank his mamma. Yes indeed, he was fine.

I excused myself to go look for Jo Ann, but I made sure to brush up closely to him when passing him by. It wasn’t too hard to do since the place was jam-packed. As our eyes came face to face, it was obvious that the connection was strong. If you’ve ever had a situation where you meet someone and you feel the chemistry immediately, you know what I’m talking about.

We exchanged flirtatious looks before I excused myself to find out where Jo Ann was. In my own womanly way, I left no doubt in his mind that I was interested. But as I walked away, I realized, “I didn’t even get his name.”

“Oh well,” I thought. I’ll definitely run into him later.”

Boy, was I ever right about that! After I found Jo Ann, we went back to the table. Before I could tell her about the guy I had just met, she was going on about some drama that was going on in the women’s bathroom.

“Girl, I need a drink!” she said dragging me by the arm towards the table. “Let’s have another shot before Eric gets here!”

We both ordered a glass of wine and talked for a few more minutes before she excused herself to go to the bathroom, again! Now, this is when things got really interesting. At least twenty minutes passed, and Jo Ann still had not made it back from the bathroom.

“I hope she didn’t get in a fight with one of those chicks in the restroom,” I jokingly said to myself.

But no sooner than that thought crossed my mind, did she show up at the table with you know who on her arm.

“Hell no!” I said under my breath.

I just knew she was bringing him over to me. But this was not the case.

“Michelle, this is Eric. Eric, this is my girl Michelle.”

“Hello Michelle, haven’t we met somewhere before?” he asked sarcastically.

“I don’t think so. Could you excuse me for a second? I need to go to the ladies room.”

“Go ahead, take your time.” Jo Ann happily replied. “I’ve got all the company I need right here!”

As I walked towards the restroom, which I really didn’t have to use, I began wondering if this was all some kind of sick joke. Ok, so he wasn’t my man. And I hadn’t described him to her or even told her his name. But you can understand my situation, right? Anyway I checked my attitude and enjoyed the rest of the night. By the time I went back over to the table, Jo Ann was sitting in Eric’s lap looking like she had just hit the lottery.

“My man is back, safe and sound. And he’s all mine!”

“Welcome back Eric!” We all toasted.

When we lifted our glasses, I tried not to look him in the eyes, but he wasn’t making it easy. Ever chance he got, he would touch me casually on the arm. And when we all went out on the floor to dance together, he turned his back to Jo Ann more than he did to me. That’s a sign of flirting even Stevie Wonder couldn’t miss. Jo Ann was so drunk she wasn’t paying attention. Every time he turned my way, he gave me that look. I knew I wanted Eric and I knew he wanted me. But Jo had been a friend and a mentor; I was going to do my best to keep it in check.

For the next two months I made every excuse possible not to be in their company. But Jo Ann was such a chatterbox; it was easy to keep close tabs on how things were going between her and Eric. She trusted me with every intimate detail. Our late night girl talk on the telephone was my best inside scoop. And you know how women like to talk.

“So, how are things going between you and Eric?”

“Not so good. We had another argument last night.”

“What was it about this time?”

“Can you believe he wanted me to come over to his apartment in a trench coat, with nothing on underneath?”

“No he didn’t!” I replied as if to sound disturbed too.”

“Yes he did, girl. Not only that, but last week he wanted me to give him oral sex in the car while we were on our way to dinner.”

“You mean while he was driving? You’ve got to be kidding?”

“No, I’m not. But I told him to find him a hoochie if he wanted that type of action. I’m an old fashioned country girl.”

“Wait a minute, didn’t you two have an argument just last week?”

“Awe, that was about my cooking. He complained that my red beans and rice didn’t have any flavor.”

She would have been better off giving this information to the C. I. A. Don’t women know you can’t trust any woman with so much insight into your relationship, and especially into your bedroom? I was licking my claws after that revealing bit of news.

The process of breaking them up was going to be a breeze. If she would have been handling her business, I would have stepped back, but what woman doesn’t give head in 2012? Seriously! Now I had all the details about what she wasn’t giving him,

I started hanging out with them again. I began doing all those subtle things to let Eric know that I was still interested. You know, little things like always taking pictures with him, or playfully sitting on his lap. But my favorite move was casually putting my hand on his knee whenever we were sitting close together. Jo Ann was so blind and stupid, she didn’t even notice. And if she did, she never said anything about it. I wish a woman would put her hand on my man’s knee. She would be pulling back a nub.

Anyway, my plan was simple; let him know I was down to do everything Jo Ann wouldn’t do, and of course, pump up his ego. Men are suckers for that. The perfect opportunity came when they had another argument while we were at the movies. She was upset with him for checking out other women while we were standing in line. I was just as shocked as he was. I mean really, do women really expect men not to look at another woman’s ass? Hell, these women today dress so provocatively I find myself looking at asses too. And some of them look damn good! My attitude is, you go girl!

After she calmed down, we all got back in the car and drove back to his place. The minute we parked, she stormed out of his car and slammed the door. I tried to talk to her but decided to go home instead; another stupid mistake. Now I was alone with her man, and he was fed up with her. I began my subtle attack by sounding compassionate.

“Eric, don’t blame Jo Ann, she’s just a little old fashioned”

“Old fashioned my ass, she’s just boring!”

“Sometimes women need time to get comfortable with certain things. If you know what I mean!”

“Michelle, I’m a grown ass man; I’m gonna look at women’s asses. And I don’t want to have to negotiate getting my dick sucked!”

I wanted to say, “I heard that!” But I stayed in the friend-zone; he had to be the one to make the move. I needed that for my conscience.

“Just give her a little time; I’m sure she’ll come around. She really does love you!”

“Well, love doesn’t fix everything dammit! Every now and then you just want to be a little wild, you know what I mean?”

“I can understand that!” I said. “But every woman is different!”

“You can say that again, cause we both know you and Jo are as different as night and day!”

“Excuse me!”

“You heard what I said,” He said with a sly grin. “I pay attention to everything, Michelle says.”

“Everything like what?”

“Like your attitudes towards sex and relationships! Whenever a topic comes up, you are open about it, not like Jo Ann, who is either quoting Scriptures, bashing gays, or calling women who use sex toys nasty,” he laughed. “I can’t even get her to have sex with the lights on.”

“Yeah, I know,” I chuckled back. “She tells me everything!

“Everything?” he said with a stunned look on his face.

“That’s right everything. But don’t tell her I told you.”

“Did she tell you about the trench coat?”

“Yep, she sure did. And she told me about the request for a blow job while you were driving.”

“How embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. I think you’re creative with your sexual ideas.”

“I’m glad somebody thinks so. I can’t get her to go along with anything that’s out of the ordinary.”

“Well, I wish I could be of some help.”

“Excuse me!”

At that moment Jo Ann’s car pulled up to the house. But it was too late. I had already planted a seed in the mind and in the crotch of her man. It was only be a matter of time before his curiosity and his hormones got the best of him. About a week after that conversation, my prediction came true. He asked me if he could come over to my place to talk about something that was on his mind. But I knew he wanted to do more than talk, and I was right. Without even so much as a hello, we were in each other’s arms as soon as the door closed behind me. We both knew what was up. After that day, I began to make myself unavailable to Jo Ann. No more shopping on weekends, no more girls’ night out, and no more late night talks on the phone. Unlike her, I know how to keep my mouth shut.

As of today, Jo Ann still isn’t aware that I’m the reason that Eric left her. She still calls me every now and then to talk about how much she misses him. I just set the phone down while she pours her heart out. A couple of times when she called, Eric was in bed lying right next to me. He loves to give me head while I’m trying to keep my composure. Here I am going, “Yeah girl, um. I hear what you’re saying, ah.” I can’t believe she hasn’t caught on yet. As I said, she’s so stupid.

However, I must admit, she did teach me something. And that was how to please Eric. By observing her mistakes, I have become everything to him that she wasn’t. I show up at his house at least once a week without any clothes under my trench coat. Just last week he almost crashed the car while I was giving him a blowjob. And as for good cooking, I put Rachel Ray to shame. Chicken and dumplings, fresh baked lasagna, and cakes made from scratch. I’ll do anything to keep the man I wanted so long and worked so hard to steal.

WAKE UP!

W
hen will The Other Woman wake up and realize the reason why she is the other woman is because she does not fit the qualifications of a wife or girlfriend? Sure, she may be attractive, but only in a sexual kind of way. She may be supportive, but the wife or girlfriend has seen him through years of hard times. And she may be good in bed, but men know that a lasting relationship cannot be built solely on good sex. The wife may not be a ten in the sack, but she is a twenty when it comes to being a good mother and a support system. Not to mention, he loves the wife not you! There’s no amount of sex, massages, or great meals that will ever change that.

No, the cheating man is not going anywhere but home, home to his wife, home to his girlfriend, and home to his children. The other woman should therefore pack her emotional and sexual suitcase and find a man of her own. Otherwise she will be subjected to more unnecessary pain, especially during the holidays. Every Valentine’s Day will bring bitter sweets and broken hearts. Each passing birthday will see her grow older, not wiser. Thanksgiving will have no thankfulness because the chair beside her at the family dinner table will be empty. Christmas Day will be just another annual nightmare of loneliness and depression. And as for the New Year, it will only remind her of how big a fool she has been the year before.