Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (26 page)

PAY TO PLAY

O
n a typical Friday afternoon, the cheating man prepares himself for another getaway with his Jump Off or Mistress. First he contacts the other woman to confirm their plans. Second, he calls his wife or girlfriend to tell his usual lie about going out with the boys after work. As the clock strikes 5:00 p.m., everything is set. He rushes out of the office building and into his car. Once inside, he tunes into his favorite radio station, shifts into drive, and heads for the expressway. But he has one important stop to make before his secret rendezvous, the cash station. When he arrives at the bank, the drive-through lines are long and moving slowly. He wants to get out of the car to use the walk-through, but he doesn’t want to take a chance on being spotted by a friend or neighbor. The fewer witnesses the better. While he waits in line, he reaches for his cell phone and clicks the calculate App and begins adding up his expenses. “Let’s see,” he contemplates. “Motel room, cheap bottle of wine, gas money, and a few extra dollars to get me through the weekend.” After waiting for what seems like an eternity, he finally makes it to the ATM. He punches in his PIN and withdraws $300.00. Now he’s ready to get the party started.

This scenario plays itself out millions of times every weekend from New York to L.A. Men are emptying their wallets, charging up credit cards, and bouncing checks, all in the name of lust. And although the dollar amounts may vary, the cheating man will inevitably pay for his horny impulses, and pay dearly.

Whether it’s for a sleazy motel room, a tank of gasoline to get across town, or twenty bucks to help pay for his lover’s baby sitter. The dollars quickly add up. The attitude of one man regarding this expense was typical. “You’ve got to pay to play!”

Well, he’s right about that, but who’s really paying, and how much? The cheating man may be out a few dollars, but what about the risk of bringing home a potentially fatal STD, or getting the Other Woman pregnant? And let’s not forget about the fatal attractions who slash tires, smash windows and show up at the job acting a fool! Is that also a part of the price you pay to play? The economics of having an affair never matches the pleasure you get from them. For example, what price do men put on AIDS? If he knocks up his mistress, that could cost anywhere from $300.00 to $3,000 per month, depending on the man’s income. And anyone who’s been stalked knows there is nothing more stressful than worrying about when a crazy person is going to strike next.

All of these things not only impact the cheating man but his family. AIDS is not just his issues but also his wife or girlfriend’s, since most often men who cheat don’t use protection, especially if the affair is long-term, which many are. Some of these relationships can last as long as 5, 10, 15 years. You think he’s strapping on every time they have sex; of course not. Making babies is also a family affair; suddenly his time, energy, and financial resources are being divided between his wife’s house and some chick he was just having fun with. What’s worse is that the baby becomes a daily reminder of his unfaithfulness. When it comes to crazy women, we all know they never focus only on the man who scorned them. The wife and girlfriend usually get pulled into this mess, either with rude phone calls to the house, showing up in public making a scene, or worse. There are plenty of cases where the mistress has murdered the innocent wife or girlfriend out of spite. Make no mistake about it; cheating can be a deadly game. The emotions of a woman are nothing to play around with.

However, men who cheat think they have all the angles figured out. They don’t want to hear about all these what ifs, and maybes. In their minds there are no consequences if they stick to the plan! Get it, get it up, and get out! But in reality, it’s never that simple unless you pay a prostitute, which some men would be better off doing in my opinion. At least there are no expectations and less drama to bring home. The problem is that too many men, while claiming it’s nothing but sex, get too emotionally involved with the Other Woman or Jump Off. Instead of keeping it simple and distant, men are often the ones who get caught up and become possessive and insecure. That’s right, I said it. More often than you think it is the cheating man who gets caught up and starts trippin’ in the affair. And once you go down that road of expecting The Other Women to be exclusive and to make herself available, you’ve instantly created another responsibility and potential time bomb!

To all my male readers, listen closely to what I am about to say. Women are not made up the same as we are. No matter how much they claim to be ok with being second, third, or forth, in your life, eventually they will expect to graduate to a higher level. If, they really care about you, and if the sex is good! Because make no mistake about it, sex is at the center of most of these relationships, especially in the beginning stages. If you don’t believe me, look at the jam-packed motel parking lots every weekend. Who do you think are taking up all those beds, single people? Give me a break! Single people can have sex at home. Married people are the ones racing to the nearest cheap motel every weekend to have sex with the Other Woman and other man. Creeping is a multi-million dollar industry. And if you add the booze, the weed, and the porno, it all adds up to a Multi-Billion dollar business. It certainly does pay to play, and the cheating man is making a lot of people rich!

The cheating man has earned the reputation as the cheapest man on earth. Though he may be blessed with good looks, an impressive wardrobe, and sexual skills, he is often one paycheck away from being on the streets. In other words, all of his assets are on his ass. Of course, you would never know this by the way he swaggers around the club as if he owned a Ferrari, and lived in a mansion. Chances are, he got a ride to the club with a friend and lives at home with his mama. But being cheap has nothing to do with income or net worth. It is more a matter of generosity. For example, if a man who earns a million dollar salary were only willing to spend $1,000 a year on his mistress, he would be considered a tight wad. On the other hand, if a bus driver earning $30,000 per year were to spend that kind of money on his lover, he would be perceived as very generous. As I said, it’s not about how much a man rakes in, but how much he’s willing to dish out.

Which brings us to the cold monetary reality of the cheating game. Most men who have relationships on the side don’t want to spend one thin dime. Their number one priority is to get the best sexual bargain on the market. If they had to choose between a beautiful mistress who insisted on going out every weekend and a moderately attractive woman who didn’t complain about staying at home, guess which one they would choose? That’s right, the low maintenance, low budget plain Jane. But even the most unattractive lover can be a financial burden around the holidays. Therefore, the miser cheating man will intentionally shy away from any serious relationships between December 25 and February 14. And if he’s already involved, then he will quickly and creatively find a way to get uninvolved.

The plan is simple; instigate a fight with the other woman just before the holidays. This argument can be over bad sex, phony jealousy, or flaky dandruff. What difference does it make? The objective is to keep as much money in his pocket as possible. And if he’s really a cheapskate, he will come up with some sort of unorthodox religious restriction. “I’m a Muslim, baby,” he’ll say. “We don’t recognize these commercialized, European holidays.” Yeah right. Just last month he was taking shots of Patron, smoking cigarettes, and stuffing his face with chitterlings. As for birthdays, well, the cheapskate cheating man has a plan to avoid celebrating that one too. Out of nowhere, he will come up with a close friend, a relative, or old army buddy whose birthday just happens to fall on the same day. What a coincidence!

This financial game of bargain basement sex will eventually catch up with him. Although he may have been successful at avoiding the direct cost of infidelity such as dinner dates and expensive gifts, he will soon discover there are indirect costs that can be even more costly. One man who can testify to that is Anthony. During the two years of his affair he has gotten away with not taking his mistress out anywhere except to fast-food restaurants and matinee movies. His wife never suspected anything because he never broke his routine and his bank account was never short.

“I’ve got her where I want her; the sex is good, her body is tight, and the price is right!” he boasted. “What more could a man ask for?” Of course this was his attitude before last month’s eye opening experience. That’s when he learned the lesson that so many other horny fools eventually do. Sooner or later, you’ve got to pay the piper.

Anthony’s Story

H
ave you ever had one of those days that you felt like God was trying to tell you something? Well, I have. And it came on a cold day back in January. It began innocently enough with a sick call to my job. I complained to my supervisor about having stomach problems, but in reality I was just too damned lazy to get out of bed. Even though my job was ten minutes away by bus, I still didn’t want to go in. After putting on my usual performance, I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep. But for some strange reason I couldn’t relax. One minute you’re tired as hell and five minutes after you’ve decided you’re not going to work, you’ve got all the energy in the world. It must be psychological.

I decided to put my newfound energy to use with a good workout at the gym in my building. I sprang out of bed, blended a protein drink, and put on my sweats. As usual, the gym was empty. It never ceases to amaze me how people pay big bucks for all these amenities and never use them, I was thinking. After working out for about an hour, I went back upstairs and took a cold shower. By 10:30 a.m. I was bored. I felt like a kid ditching school with nothing to do. That’s when I got a text from Angela, my mistress. She told me to call her when I got a break, which was odd because we usually didn’t talk until afternoon.

As I dialed her number, I thought about how good it felt to call another woman from the privacy and comfort of my own home. Most cheaters have to call from work or while they’re driving home. It’s no wonder that traffic is always backed up during rush hour. All the married cheaters are driving slowly so they can talk to the person they’re creeping with. Or they just don’t want to get home to those bad kids and annoying spouses. I just wish they would get the hell out of the left lanes so I can get past! After a few rings Angela picked up!

“Hey, baby! Thanks for getting back with me so soon.”

“Wassup, Angie, something wrong?”

“No, everything is fine. I just called to let you know I used one of my vacation days to take off today. Do you want me to meet you for lunch?”

“That’s funny, I took off work today too! The weather outside is shitty!”

“I know, it’s cold as heck outside and it’s been snowing all morning! You wanna come over and keep me warm?” she said in a sexy tone.

“That depends!”

“On what?”

“On what I can expect when I get there?”

“We’ve been seeing each other for over two years; you already know what to expect.”

“Why don’t you remind me?” I said teasing while I was slipping on my clothes.

“The minute you come in the door I want you to put your dick in my mouth, then I want you to pick me up and take me into the bedroom and throw me on the bed and have rough sex with me! Pull my hair, call me your bitch, and choke me.”

“Damn, you want me to choke you too?”

“Um hum, but not til I pas out, just until I’m woozie!”