Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (29 page)

“Let me share something with you Robert. I’ve only been in town for two months and already I’ve heard that line about a thousand times.”

“Oh really, where are you from?”

“Connecticut.”

“Connecticut?” I said with a curious look on my face. “You mean to tell me there are black folks in Connecticut?”

“Very funny,” she laughed. “Yes, we have blacks in Connecticut. Not as many as Chicago, but we do exist.”

“Let me stop cracking on your hometown and get back to the point. I want to see you again. Can’t we work something out?”

“I’ll tell you what,” she said, “Let me have your number, and I’ll think about it.”

“Think about it?”

“That’s right, I said think about it. I’m a delicate twenty-eight year-old woman. I like to consider what I’m getting myself into. And so should you for that matter.”

There goes another one of those odd remarks again, I thought. Is this woman trying to tell me something or what? When I think back on it, she was probably trying to warn me. But my mind was tuned into only one thing, getting her out of that business suit and under my Egyptian cotton sheets. I wrote my home number down on the back of my business card and handed it to her. At that time the people at her table were headed back from the lobby area. I charmingly kissed her hand and went back to my table. It was up to her to take it from there.

It was Saturday afternoon when I gave up on hearing from Kelly. I figured six days was plenty of time for a woman to call me if she was interested. Later that evening, I thought about calling my child’s mother, Donna, to ask her out to party but I remembered she had plans to take my daughter to a birthday party. There was no way in the world she was going to be rested enough to go out after dealing with those wild kids all day. So, I called my best friend Allen instead. He is always ready to hit the clubs. I knew he would be screening his calls with his answering machine. He is so old school.

“Hello this is Allen. Sorry I’m unavailable to answer your call. At the tone leave a brief message and I’ll see if I can fit you into my busy schedule.” (Beep)

“Busy my ass,” I laughed. You haven’t had a date in months.”

“Look who’s talkin’,” he said as he picked up the phone ready to signify. “If it weren’t for Donna, I don’t think you would ever get any.”

“Is that right? Well, at least I didn’t get handcuffed to a bathroom sink by two stick up women.”

I was referring to an incident that happened a year ago when two women at a motel robbed him. They promised him a threesome, a night he would never forget, and they were right. When he got to the room, a man was waiting with a gun and they took his wallet, jewelry, and even his designer eyeglasses. After robbing him blind, they made him strip naked, pose nude while they took pictures, and then handcuffed his wrist to the bathroom sink. It wasn’t until 11:30 a.m. the next morning that the cleaning lady found him buck naked, sleeping on the floor. How embarrassing. But little did I know, he would soon get the last laugh.

“Now why did you have to go there,” he laughed. “How was I supposed to know they wanted to play cops and robbers instead of doctor and nurse?”

“Let me stop dogging you partner,” I apologized. “I called to ask if you wanted to go out to our favorite spot tonight?”

“You know I’m game. What time do you want to meet up?”

“How about 10:00 p.m.? That way we can get our usual table.”

At that moment, someone was trying to call me on my other line.

Is that your line or mine?” Allen asked.

“It’s mine. Hold on for a second.” (click)

“Hello?”

“Hello, may I speak to Robert?” a woman’s voice requested.

“This is Robert. Who’s this?”

“Oh, you’ve forgotten me already, huh?”

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t like playing guessing games.”

“This is Kelly, remember me?”

“Well, hello stranger! It’s about time you called. I thought you faked me out.”

“No, that wasn’t it at all. I just wanted to think about what I was getting myself into. Have you thought about it?”

“What’s there to think about? We’re two consenting adults, right?”

“I guess.”

“Kelly, I’m on the other line with my friend Allen right now. We’re thinking about going out tonight. Would you like to join us?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Would you like for me to pick you up?”

“No thanks, I’ll just meet you there.”

I gave her directions to the club and the time we would be there. I then clicked back over to Allen and told him about my unexpected date. He was anxious to see if she measured up to my physical standards. But I was more interested in whether or not she measured up to my sexual standards. She was cute, but I needed a freak.

When I arrived at the club, Allen was already there with a woman under his arm. He introduced us and ordered a round of drinks. I rested my jacket on the back of the chair and began looking around for Kelly.

“So where is your date, Romeo,” Allen joked.

“She said she would try to be here by 10:30 p.m. but you know how long it takes these women to get dressed. First they have to pile on a ton of war paint. Then they’ll spend an hour trying to squeeze into a dress that’s two sizes too small. And don’t even let me get started on how long it takes them to do their hair. It’s like a major construction project!”

“Yeah, but you men love it, don’t you?” His date said with her hands on her hips.

“You’re damn right we do!” Allen and I both replied and bumped fist.

“So, what’s Kelly wearing?” Allen asked.

“If I know her, she’ll probably have on a pin-striped business suit. She seems very conservative.”

By 11:00 p.m. I hadn’t seen anyone who fit Kelly’s description. Once again I thought she had faked me out. I walked around looking for her until a woman asked me to dance. “What the hell,” I thought. No sense in spoiling a perfectly good evening.” We danced for about twenty minutes before I noticed this fine woman on the far end of the floor, getting busy. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was Kelly,” I thought to myself. “But there’s no way she would be wearing that short black dress.” After looking harder, I could see that it was her, and she was getting giggy with it!

“Excuse me” I said to my dance partner. I need a break.”

“Maybe I’ll see you later,” she said with a flirtatious grin.

“Yeah, maybe.”

I quickly ushered her off the floor and headed for the area where Kelly was dancing, and there she was shaking and grinding to the music. Damn she was looking good! I finally got her attention by waving my hands in the air. She immediately broke off her dance and came to me.

“Where have you been all night?” she said sounding exhausted. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Yeah right. I guess you expected to find me behind the woman’s ass you were dancing with?”

“Well I did, didn’t I?”

“I guess you’ve got a point there,” she laughed.

“So where is your friend Allen?” she asked.

“He’s at the table, you want to meet him?”

“Sure, but let me freshen up a bit first.”

“You look fine, let’s go.”

She wrapped her arm around mine and I escorted her over to the table proud as a peacock. When we got there, Allen and his date were hugged up like two teenagers.

“Excuse me love birds,” I interrupted. “I’d like for you to meet Kelly.”

“Hello, pleased to meet you,” Allen’s date said.

“Wait a minute!” Allen shouted. “This is Miss Connecticut? No wonder they kicked you out of the state. With an outfit on like that you’re probably illegal.”

Kelly reacted by laughing and slapping him five, which surprised me. She had seemed laid back and a little boring when we met. Now she was a sociable butterfly and dance machine, but I liked it, I liked it a lot. For the next couple of hours we talked, drank and made jokes about the people in the club. When the party was over, I invited her over to my place for a nightcap. This turned out to be a big mistake. I was about to disclose my residence to an absolute psychopath. But once again, my smaller head was doing all the thinking.

It was 3:15 a.m. when we made it upstairs to my apartment. After hanging up our jackets, I offered her something to eat, but she wasn’t hungry, at least not for food.

“Do you have a towel I can wash up with?” she said.

“Sure I do,” I replied while reaching into the linen closet. “Use this one.”

“What about a T-shirt?”

“Ah, no problem, is there anything else I can get for you?”

“I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I Robert?”

“Absolutely not,” I lied.

I could feel the sweat pouring down my back and the bulge growing in my slacks. She casually grabbed the towel out of my hand and went into the bathroom. As the door closed behind her, I went into action. First I took my pants off and slipped on a pair of shorts. Then I selected my old school slow jam playlist on my IPod to set the mood. I love listening to The Isleys Brothers, The Whispers, and Marvin Gaye when I’m having sex. Finally, I took a couple of condoms out of my drawer and put them in my pocket, just in case. Shortly after setting things up, I heard Kelly calling for me to give her a hand.

“Robert!” she shouted. “Could you come here for a minute?”

“What is it?” I asked from outside of the bathroom door.

“I need you to hand me the soap.”

“No problem!”

The bathroom was foggy from the hot shower. I grabbed the bar soap out of the soap dish, and I reached my hand inside the shower curtain hoping to catch a peek.

“Here you go,” I said as her hand took the soap. All of a sudden she pulled my arm and the rest of my body into the hot shower.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“Just relax and enjoy the sights,” she said.

In a very exotic fashion, she reached down and pulled down my shorts. I tried to speed up the process by giving her a hand, but she wouldn’t let me.

“I’m doing this,” she protested.

“Be my guest.”

For the next thirty minutes we had passionate sex underneath the showerhead. Luckily for me I had my soggy condoms on hand. We did it standing up, on her knees, and against the wall. She was so flexible I could have bent her over the curtain rod. “This is too good to be true,” I thought to myself. When the morning came, I found out just how right I was.

When I woke up the next morning, Kelly was staring down at me with those spooky light brown eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was admiring my body or regretting what had happened. Without saying a word, she sprang off the bed and into the bathroom. I assumed she was ready to go so I put on my robe and opened the blinds. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Just as I was about to make breakfast, Kelly came back into the bedroom ready for more.

“Where do you think you’re going, mister?” she asked.

“Well, I was about to scramble some eggs.”

“I’ve got something for you to scramble all right!” She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back onto the bed. After reaching inside my nightstand for another condom, we were at it again. But this time she was talking crazy while we were doing it.

“Oh, Robert you’re so fine. Give it to me baby, come on. Deeper, deeper.”

“You want it all baby?”

“Yes, all of it, from now on. You’re my man now. You’re mine.”

“Chill out with all that possession talk; you’re killing the mood.”

“I’m just talking, baby, just enjoy the ride.”

I let her statement slide and went back to getting busy. She was a complete wild woman, growling and screaming, “Fuck me, fuck me!” After an hour of this unappealing session, I got up and went to the bathroom. That’s when the telephone rang and the answering machine picked up. It was my girlfriend Donna.

“Hi honey it’s me. I just called to remind you to meet us at the park at two. Tamera has been asking about you all morning, so don’t be late. Oh yeah, how did it go last night at the club? I know Allen was acting a fool as usual. Sorry I couldn’t make it. Anyway, I’ll see you later, bye.”

From inside the bathroom, I could hear Kelly mumbling under her breath. When I walked into the living room, she was rushing to put on her clothes.

“Hey, what’s the rush?” I asked.

“I can’t believe you Robert.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I guess I was the back up date for last night, huh?”

“Look, all I did was ask you out. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing except you lied to me about the status of your relationship with your baby’s mother. You two have something serious going on. I may be young, but I’m not stupid.”