Never Say Never (38 page)

Everything hurts. I don’t know where I am, or why I can’t move. My throat is so dry and my tongue sticks to the sides of my mouth. Haley is looking down at me, crying. What is happening? My eyes close and I’m tired, so tired. I must have taken something, a bad combination of pills. Fuck. I didn’t mean to—again. And not in front of Haley.

“It’s okay,” Haley soothes. “I’m here, Aiden.”

A door opens and a man with a heavily accented voice comes in, speaking to Haley and someone else, I think. Haley’s hand slips off mine. I try to reach for her, lifting my left arm up and am hit with a horrible pain. My eyes flutter open and I realize I’m not in Haley’s bedroom. Panic sears through me. What the fuck? Why is Haley walking away? I need her. She can’t leave me.

“Hi Aiden,” someone says, speaking slowly. “It’s Dr. Gupta. Can you hear me talking to you?”

A doctor? I look away from Haley, who is standing in the back of the room. My eyes haven’t adjusted and I can’t see her features. Just her outline.

“Yeah,” I tell the doctor. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” he says. “You were in an accident. What do you remember?”

From there, I go through a battery of tests. I become more and more alert as time passes. I’m told I was in a bad car wreck over a week ago, and that I’ve been in a coma ever since.

I don’t remember anything.

The last thing I remember was waking up in Haley’s bed, missing her while she was at work, and knowing that I had to come back to California for work before I could return to her. Then everything is black.

I’m fucked up and injured. Thankfully I’m kept heavily medicated. Just looking at the bars screwed into my arm makes me queasy. I thought rods and screws went under the skin. I can’t think about it or I’ll puke, though I’m sure there is nothing to come up. It’s not like I was able to eat while I was in a coma.

When the doctor finally leaves, Haley comes back in. I want to sit up and hold her and kiss her, but I can’t. I can’t even lift my head.

“Haley,” I say and look into her eyes. She’s crying again, but the tears are happy. She comes to my bedside and takes my hand.

“Aiden,” she soothes and leans over, kissing me. I smile and curl my fingers around hers. She wasn’t in the car with me, was she?

Someone else steps into the room, closing the door behind them. I click my eyes past Haley and get hit with emotion when I see my sister.

“Aiden,” Avery says, tears streaming down her face. I swallow the lump in my throat and hold Haley’s hand tighter. Avery comes over and gently hugs me.

“Hi,” I croak out, throat still dry. “You got old,” I say and smile.

Avery laughs and wipes tears from her face. “And you haven’t aged a day. It’s not fair.”

I smile back. “It’s Hollywood magic.”

She sits near the foot of the bed and looks at me, shaking her head. “The doctor said you don’t show signs of major brain damage so far.”

So far? And wait, brain damage? I don’t feel brain damaged. Well, not any more than before. I look at Haley. She nods.

“You’re going to be just fine,” she says softly, and I believe her.

“I don’t know what happened,” I tell them. My eyes close. I’m so tired. “Can I have water?”

“I’ll ask the nurse,” Avery says and leaves the room.

“You were in a car accident,” Haley explains. “You were going too fast and your car hit a pole.”

“Oh. Which car?”

Haley raises her eyebrows, giving me that look that grounds me into reality. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to look at the pictures of the wreck.”

“You weren’t with me?” I ask, hopeful.

“No, I wasn’t. You really don’t remember?”

Her tone says something her words don’t. “No. What happened? Why wouldn’t you be with me?”

Pain flashes across her face. “It doesn’t matter, Aiden. Just focus on getting better, okay?”

I tip my head to my broken arm, thinking of the metal rods sticking into my bone. I feel sick. I close my eyes and wait for the nausea to pass. And I thought needles were bad. Fuck.

“Tell me later?” I ask and Haley nods. Avery and the nurse come back. I’m allowed to suck on tiny ice chips and let them melt in my mouth. Haley carefully spoon feeds them to me.

“I have to go,” Avery says, standing and blinking back tears. “But I’ll be back soon.” Her eyes go to Haley’s and her jaw tightens. She lets out a breath and looks back at me. “Mum is coming,” she says, guilt rippling across her face. “She’s very worried.”

I close my eyes. I’m too tired and weak to get pissed. “I don’t want to see her,” I say.

“Aiden,” Avery starts.

“Wait and see,” Haley says. “You just woke up. If you don’t want to see her now, then don’t. But maybe tomorrow.”

“Fine,” I say, so grateful for Haley. I know she won’t let that woman who claimed to be my mother into the room if I didn’t want her.

“All right,” Avery says. She comes over and kisses my cheek before leaving. I’m alone with Haley.

“I love you,” I whisper and let my head fall to the side. “I always will.”

Haley leans over and presses her lips to mine. “I know you will. I love you too.”

My mum has been here for two days, and for two days I’ve refused to let her into the room. I’ve slept most of that time, anyway. On day three, Haley and my sister go down to the cafeteria for breakfast while the nurses give me a sponge bath. I can hardly move but I hate this so fucking much.

I’m weak, and I’ve been told I’ll need a lot of physical therapy once the bones are healed. But they will heal. I will get better and can go back to work. I just have to be really careful until then.

I won’t be able to live on my own. There is talk about live-in nurses and physical therapists coming to my L.A. home, that I can be treated there once I’m released from the hospital. That’s great and all, but it’s not what I want.

What I want is Haley. What I want is to go back to the farmhouse and pick up right where we left off. She said things were wonderful between us, and then I left and got in the accident. Something is missing. I can tell by the pain in her voice, the pain that’s reflected in her eyes.

What the fuck did I do?

And why the fuck did she forgive me? I was drunk when I crashed. My blood work came back showing that I was seriously fucked up on pills and booze. I’m lucky I didn’t hit anyone and kill them.

I don’t just need physical therapy, I need rehab. For the first time, I see that taking prescription pills is a problem. My problem.

I have a problem.

“Aiden?” Haley calls as she comes into the room. “Are you awake?”

I open my eyes and look at her. I’m sitting up in bed, watching TV as I wait for her to come back.

“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “How was breakfast?”

“The food is surprisingly good here,” she says and sits next to me. I take her hand in mine, only able to use my right hand. “Your mom wanted me to ask you…” she starts and trails off with a sigh. “Aiden, you should make peace with her. Not because she deserves it, because I don’t think she does, but for your own sake. You can let it go and move on.”

I look at her incredulously. Forgive my mother? The woman who let her husband beat the living shit out of her son? No fucking way.

I open my mouth to say so and stop. Haley has no mother to be mad at. She has no mother to hate and resent.

“You’re right,” I rasp. “I’ll never be okay with what she did, but you are right. For my own sake.”

Haley smiles and takes my hand. “I’ll stay the whole time. If you want her to leave, just squeeze my hand like this.” She gives my hand three short squeezes in a row. “And I’ll take care of it.”

My heart speeds up just a bit at the thought, but I have Haley with me. I can do this. With her, I can overcome anything.

Chapter 29

I stand outside Mom’s bedroom door. I’ve yet to go in since she passed. I close my eyes, reach for the doorknob, and twist. It creaks open, the familiar groan of the hinges sending a wave of sadness through me. I’ll never hear that door open and see Mom coming in or out again.

But Aiden will be, and I need to get the room ready. It was his idea to come here; he asked me if it was okay. Of course I agreed right away. After weeks in the hospital, he was released but still needed quite a bit of help. Having a broken arm and a broken leg made it impossible to use crutches, and he still had to be careful with his broken ribs, a lung injury, and head trauma.

He was coming tonight, and I had the day to get things ready. I open my eyes and look around the room, feeling emotional. As I step in, a feeling of peace washes over me, and I just know Mom is looking down at me, smiling.

The bedspread is pulled back on the mattress. A cup of coffee sits long evaporated on the nightstand. It’s like Mom was just here, and like she’s coming back.

It’s okay, kid
, I hear her say. I nod and look up. It is okay. Aiden can’t go up or down stairs yet, and we need a bed bigger than the one in my room. I can’t squish next to him until his injuries are healed.

I sink on the bed, smelling the last remnants of Mom’s perfume. Chrissy barks when the doorbell rings. I look around the room once more and go to answer the door. It’s boxes of Aiden’s stuff, packed by Claire. I drag it all inside and dump it on the couch, using the boxes to stash Mom’s stuff. I’ll go through it all someday, when I’m ready.

Four hours later, the room is done. I put fresh sheets on the bed and throw the comforter in the wash. It’s the only large comforter I have, but seeing it reminds me of Mom, and I can’t do that. I bring my old quilt from my upstairs bed and spread it out.

I have just enough time to take care of the horses before Aiden arrives. He has a long recovery and probably months of physical therapy ahead of him, but he’s going to be okay. He promises me so, at least.

He has no memory of the accident or the week leading up to it. He doesn’t remember leaving me, and he looked so guilty, so completely torn when I had to explain. We wished I could forget too.

I shower, change into pajamas, and start making chicken enchiladas—one of Aiden’s favorite meals. I pull them out of the oven right as the car comes down the driveway. My heart swells and I run outside to greet him.

He struggles out of the back of the car before anyone can help him, smiling broadly as soon as he sees me. I throw my arms around him, careful not to press on his injured torso. He kisses me, tongue slipping into my mouth and giving me the same knee-buckling, panty-melting kiss as before.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. “And I missed this place.”

“I missed you too,” I say. “And so did everyone else.”

Aurelia whinnies from the side pasture, and Aiden smiles. He looks past me. “Is that my girl? She’s so tall!”

I blink back tears. “She’s a leggy little thing. We can see them in the morning. You should get inside.”

Aiden raises an eyebrow, sick of me doting over him already. He better get used to it. He’s got a few more weeks in that cast. He loops his arm around me and refuses his wheelchair, insisting on hobbling to the house instead.

“It smells good,” he says when we get inside. We eat dinner then move to the bedroom. He settles into the pillows and holds out his arms for me. I rest my head on his chest, careful to avoid hurting him.

“Haley,” he says, running his fingers over the burn on my right shoulder. “I will never leave you. This time I promise. And I will never break another promise. I love you, and I always will.”

Chapter 30