New Beginnings (3 page)

But that’s where the similarities ended. Marisa was warm and compassionate, open and communicative, while Trey was often cold and reserved, valuing his privacy more than relationships. Marisa was modest, while Trey wore his accomplishments like a badge of honor. Perhaps that’s why her relationship with Marisa had withstood the test of time, and her marriage had failed.

“I’m afraid for him, Sierra. I haven’t seen him like this since before you left him. He’s out of control. He’s drinking again, every day.”

That damned bottle had been his best friend and her archenemy during the final months of their marriage. Together, they could have gotten past the accident, shared their grief over the loss of their baby, and rebuilt their shattered marriage, but instead he chose to drown his grief in his career and the bottle, effectively shutting her out of his life until she got the news that finally sealed their fate.

“I’ve moved on with my life. Your brother is not my problem anymore.”

“You still love him.”

The truth of those simple words felt like a weight on her chest that had never lifted. Her love for him would never die, no matter how hard she had tried to smother it with years of anger and resentment.

“I’m getting married, Marisa.” She cursed her vulnerability where this man was concerned, swiping at the tears that slid down her cheeks. “I have to think about my future, not my past.”

“I know.” Marisa brushed away her own tears. “I know it’s not fair of me to ask this of you, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve talked to his AA sponsor and he hasn’t been able to reach him. You’re the only person I can turn to.”

She embraced her friend. She knew how much it hurt to watch someone you love destroy their life. His family had once been her family and, in her heart, they always would be. Even if it meant sacrificing her hard-fought resolve to help them, she would do it.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him. I just hope he’s willing to listen.”

***

Trey nodded to the bouncers who ushered him into the crowded bar, followed by his head of security and personal bodyguard for the night, Josh Cooper. Josh was one of the few people he trusted with his life. They’d been on the same football team in college and had remained close friends ever since. It hadn’t been easy to lure the career cop away from the force, but he finally made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

Trey hated having to travel with an entourage, but it was necessary most of the time. In cases like this, safe zones, where he’d been numerous times without incident, he was able to convince his handlers to let him get away without the protection of an army. Fortunately, now that Josh had joined his team, it felt like he was just hanging out with a good friend instead of living his life in a protected bubble.

It took him a moment to adjust to the dim lighting. With any luck, he might be able to sneak under the radar tonight, pretend he wasn’t who they thought he was. He felt like an imposter most days, so it wouldn’t require much effort on his part.

It still felt surreal, being back in a world he’d once belonged to, once dominated. Now, he stood on the periphery, watching the crowds of people dancing, talking, laughing, living. He tried to remember a time when he’d been that happy and carefree. It had been years, too many years.

Marisa came up behind him, sliding her arm around his waist. At six foot, three inches, he was a foot taller and able to tuck her neatly under his chin as he drew her in for a hug. If only he could keep everyone he loved safe, holding them close, never letting go. But it was too late for that. The people he loved and longed to protect were gone forever.

She smiled at Josh, her gaze lingering as she spoke to her brother. “I’m glad you came. I was afraid you’d change your mind.”

He would have, but he knew his stubborn little sister well enough to know she would be banging his door down, waking half the neighbourhood, if that’s what it took to get him down here.

“Don’t think I didn’t think about it, darlin’.”

“How does it feel, being back?”

“Different.” Jimmy’s held so many memories for him, both good and bad. It was a place where his dreams were born and later died. He found his voice on that stage and watched his wife walk out those doors and out of his life for the last time.

Images of her flashed through his mind: her smile as she tipped her beer glass, her laughter as they tore up the dance floor, the sweet sound of her voice as they sang a duet, the tears in her eyes as she asked him not to fight the divorce.

A curvaceous waitress in a denim miniskirt and thigh-high boots made her way through the crowd toward him.  She gave him a thorough once over and winked. “What can I get you, Trey?”

Someone bumped her from behind and she brushed against him, giggling. “Sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered, flattening her breasts against his chest.

He took a step back. He wasn’t in the mood to flirt tonight, not here. This place always made him feel raw, as though it had been five days instead of five years since their separation. “Tequila. And keep ‘em comin’.” If he was lucky, maybe a little liquid poison would make him forget.

“Josh, Marisa, you want anything?”

Josh shook his head. “You know I don’t drink when I’m on duty, man.”

Marisa grabbed his arm. “Trey, wait...”

A wannabe cowboy in crisp jeans and an over-sized cowboy hat made his way to the center of the small stage and seized the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, have I got a treat for y’all tonight. I want y’all to put your hands together for a little lady who first graced this stage way back in the day. Let’s hear it for the beautiful and talented, Ms. Sierra Brooks!”

The applause thundered in Trey’s ears until his head felt as though it would explode from the mounting pressure.

His mind flashed back to the last time he saw her. That night, he’d been drunk and his stupid pride enabled him to pretend she wasn’t ripping his heart out when she’d told him she wanted out of their marriage. Five years without her had proven there wasn’t enough booze in the state to drown his memories of her. As for his pride, he’d gladly trade it for just one more night in her bed.

When she walked onto the stage, sexy as sin in low riding jeans, cowboy boots, and a snug western shirt, he felt the air leave his lungs as surely as if he’d been kicked in the gut. “Oh my God.”

“You can say that again,” Josh whispered. “Wow, she looks amazing.”

Marisa grabbed Trey’s hand and pulled him toward a small table tucked in a rear corner of the dark bar. He was grateful when she pushed a chair beneath him, forcing him to sit down.

Josh claimed the chair beside him, his intense eyes fixed on the curious crowd. As always, he was ready to react at the first sign of mayhem.

Trey barely noticed the hundreds of eyes fixed on him; he was too busy watching her. She was stunning: thick, blond waves spilling down her back, cobalt-blue eyes teasing and tormenting her male admirers as she strutted across the stage, and a sweet little body that still turned him inside out.

He remembered fisting his hands in her hair, making her beg for him, and finally hearing her scream his name as she climaxed. Those were the memories he wanted to hang on to. He got hard just remembering how hot it was between them. The thrill of performing for 40,000 fans had never been able to compare to the rush of losing himself in her lush little body every night.

His mind wandered back in time. A knee injury had ended his college football career and his dream of making the pros. She was the one who’d picked him up, restored his faith, and helped him set new goals. She’d convinced him to pursue his love of music, helped him celebrate his first record deal, and co-wrote several of the tracks on his first album. Sierra was his biggest fan; she had believed in him long before he’d learned to believe in himself.

The waitress set a shot glass down on the table. Beneath it was a napkin with her name and phone number. A different time, a different place, and he might have taken her up on the offer, but tonight there was only one woman on his mind: Sierra Brooks.

He hated the fact that she’d reclaimed her maiden name after the divorce. He’d secretly hoped she’d at least keep his name as a reminder of their time together. But the painful truth was that she didn’t want anything from him after the divorce. Not his name, their home, money, cars, or jewelry. She’d walked away with nothing. She told his lawyers she didn’t want it, hadn’t earned it. She claimed the money was his, but he knew that without her, he would be nothing today.

“I can’t believe she’s here,” he whispered. He pushed the drink away. He’d been drunk enough to drive her away the last time she’d seen him and he’d be damned if he let her see him that way tonight.

“Are you mad that I didn’t tell you?” Marisa asked.

He looked at his sister, reading the angst in her eyes. How could he be mad? In spite of his fear, she’d given him a second chance to say all the things he should have said five years ago. “No, I’m not mad.”

He was lost, mesmerized, listening to Sierra sing a Carrie Underwood song about getting even with her cheating boyfriend. She had the sweetest, purest voice he’d ever heard. They had made beautiful music together a lifetime ago. He’d tried to convince her to pursue her own musical career, but she had other plans. She’d been pursuing a graduate degree in social work when their marriage ended. She’s always claimed it was her mission to give back to a world that had blessed them with so much. His heart twisted at the memory of the idealistic girl who’d wanted to save the world. He’d never been worthy of her, not then, and definitely not now.

“Why is she here?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the stage.

He kept waiting for their eyes to connect, for that moment when he would be able to read her thoughts. Would she be angry, anxious, or surprised to see him? Would looking at him evoke the same barrage of memories for her or would she treat him as nothing more than an old acquaintance? He could deal with her rage and hurt, but he couldn’t cope with indifference, not after everything they’d shared.

Marisa glanced up at the stage. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

People were starting to recognize him, pointing, whispering, and staring. He knew it was only a matter of time before they started approaching him, asking for autographs and pictures. He was normally happy to oblige his fans, but tonight he wished he could fade into anonymity, be a nameless face in the crowd.

He glanced at his friend. Josh was carefully surveying the excited crowd. As a third degree black belt in karate, the man’s hands were lethal weapons. Trey had watched him take down four rowdy drunks outside of a honky-tonk in Jacksonville a few months ago. He knew he could let his guard down as long as he had Josh to watch his back.

Minutes ticked by as Sierra finished her first set to the rousing applause of drunken cowboys swarming the stage to get her attention.

Trey’s gut clenched with the wrenching jealousy only she could evoke. She was still oblivious to the effect she had on the opposite sex. It had driven him crazy when they were married. Back then, men had enjoyed looking at her, but they would never be crazy enough to lay a hand on his wife. But that was then; divorce had a way of changing the rules in the minds of drunken cowboys hoping to score. Divorce decree or not, Hell would freeze over before he watched another man put his hands on her.

“I wanna thank y’all for comin’ tonight. You may have noticed I’m not your regular Saturday night entertainment.” She flashed a bright white smile at the cowboys’ antics to get her attention.

“But my old buddy, Jimmy, was nice enough to let me take the stage to help raise some money for a cause that’s near and dear to my heart, The Rainbow Fund. I started this charity several years ago to support parents who have lost a child. We provide grief counseling, ongoing support, and help with funeral expenses.” She paused while the crowd cheered her cause.

Trey felt her words twist his heart in a vice-like grip. She had spent the years since they’d lost their baby making a difference in the lives of countless families who’d suffered the same kind of loss they had, and he had wasted those years on self-indulgence to ease the pain.

“Trey, it’s good to see you.” Jimmy claimed the chair across from him and extended his hand.

He followed Trey’s eyes to the stage. “She looks great, doesn’t she?”

Trey took his hand. “Yeah, she sure does. It was nice of you to do this for her, Jimmy.”

The old man smiled, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hell, you know she was always like a daughter to Edna and me. I’m real proud of her.”

Trey stared at his old friend, realization dawning. “You’ve kept in touch with her?”

“Sure have. You know she lives in Oklahoma now?”

Trey shook his head. He knew so little about the woman who had once been his whole world. It would have been easy enough to find out where life had taken her, but it hurt too much to even think about the fact that she had been able to move on without him. He had been going through the motions the past five years, making music, touring, partying, but definitely not living. “No, I didn’t know that.”

“Edna and I get up there to visit when we can. She calls and emails us a couple of times a month.  She’s worked real hard, got a nice life for herself.” He eyed the shot glass on the table. “I wouldn’t want to see anything mess that up, son.”

Marisa laid her hand over Jimmy’s, smiling affectionately at him. “No one wants to hurt her, Jimmy. We all love Sierra.”

He nodded, accepting Marisa’s assurance. “We haven’t seen you around in a while, boy. Have y’all been on the road?”

Trey’s eyes followed Sierra as she left the stage, the swing of her shapely hips, the click of her spiked heels on the scarred wood floor, the toss of her hair over her shoulder as she slid through the crowd, smiling at the dozens of men trying to capture her interest. “No, been in the studio working on the new album.”

“How’s it going?”

Trey thought about confiding in his old friend, the man who had given him a break when no one else would, but his gaze slid to his sister and he thought better of it. He didn’t need to give his family any more reasons to worry about him. “It’s comin’ along.”