New Beginnings (38 page)

“We’ve been friends a long time,” she said, smiling. “If there’s something on your mind, you don’t have to be shy with me.”

“You said too much went down between you and Drake.” He sighed, setting his laptop aside and propping his elbows on the table. Leaning in, he lowered his voice. “What the hell happened to make you wanna sleep with his brother?”

She sucked in a breath. Granted, she had invited him to tell her what was on his mind, but she hadn’t expected that missile. “Uh…”

“It’s okay,” he said, holding his hand up as he leaned back against the bench seat. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”

But she found herself wanting to confide in him, to unburden herself with someone who’d proven he genuinely cared about her well-being. “The truth is, I didn’t know it was him. I was under the influence that night, and when Lee slipped in to bed with me, I never even thought twice about it when he reached for me. I just assumed…”

“It was a safe assumption, all things considered.” J.T. scowled. “I can’t believe he would take advantage of you like that. I never liked that son of a bitch. He was always hangin’ around tryin’ to live off Drake’s success instead of tryin’ to make a decent life for himself.”

Cassidy knew Drake had gotten tired of funding his brother’s reckless lifestyle and told him it had to stop just a week before Lee slipped in to her bedroom in the middle of the night. She was obviously the easiest way for him to stick it to his brother. He couldn’t have known Drake was coming home early from that business trip, so he must have intended to spend the night, counting on the fact that when she woke the next morning and realized what she had done, she would be wracked with guilt and confess everything to her enraged fiancé. Drake’s unexpected arrival had probably just been the icing on the cake for Lee.

Just thinking about that night reminded her of all the times she’d given herself to the wrong men when she was high. She knew it was one of the reasons she hadn’t been intimate with another man since.

“I know you’re right,” she said, sighing. “He and my sister Katie were so much alike. They both felt the world owed them something because they’d been dealt a bad hand in life and were determined to collect.”

J.T. rolled his eyes. “We both know it doesn’t work that way, don’t we?”

“You can say that again.”

“You said you were under the influence that night,” J.T. said, seeming uncharacteristically cautious. “I don’t get that. Stayin’ clean was everything to you back then. What the hell made you decide to start usin’ again?”

Just thinking about her sister’s betrayal was hard. She didn’t know which was worse, Katie trying to derail her months of sobriety or Lee using her body as a tool to get even with his brother. “My sister stopped by that night. I could tell she was in a bad place, so when she buzzed up, I let her in. In hindsight, I should have told her to call her sponsor instead.”

“Go on,” J.T, said, waving off the waitress who approached to take their order.

“We started talking and things quickly went from bad to worse. She was bitter and angry about the past, about how far I’d come, the man I’d found… everything.” It hurt her to realize her one and only sister couldn’t be happy for her. Instead, she seemed resentful that Cassidy had so much while she had so little.

“That’s what caused you to relapse?” J.T. asked. “You got in to it with your sister?”

“No.” Cassidy wouldn’t have compromised her recovery for anything. She knew how much she had to lose. “She brought stuff with her and offered it to me. I refused, so I guess she put it in my drink when I was in the restroom.” Shrugging, as though admitting the truth didn’t slice in to her core, she said, “It wasn’t hard. She knew my poison of choice.”

“Jesus,” J.T. said, lowering his head. “That really sucks.”

Cassidy smiled at his choice of words. “Yeah, it does.”

“Why didn’t you tell Drake the truth? It could have saved your relationship.”

“It might have, if he’d believed me. But there were no guarantee he would have. If he didn’t, he’d still throw me out and think I was a liar on top of being a cheater and a junkie. If he did believe me, I knew he’d go after Katie and Lee with everything he had.” Propping her elbows on the table, she swiped her hands over her face. “I was scared to think what he might have done.”

“Who were you tryin’ to protect? Them or Drake?”

“Drake,” she said, quickly. “After what Lee did, he deserved whatever punishment Drake chose to dish out. Same goes for my sister. But you didn’t see him that night, J.T. He was filled with rage.”

“Rightly so,” J.T. muttered. “I think any man would have felt the same way in his position.”

“I know. You’re right. He had every reason to feel the way he did.” Lifting a shoulder, she said, “It just seemed easier if I took the fall, ya know?”

“Easier? How the hell can you said that?” he asked, raising his voice. Thankfully, they were alone in a secluded part of the eating area. “You lost everything that night. If Drake knew the truth—”

“Please,” she said, feeling the panic rising. “You have to promise me you won’t tell him.” Time may have softened Drake’s opinion of her, but she knew if he found out the truth about Lee and Katie’s role in what happened that night, he would be on the hunt for their blood.

“Why would you wanna keep him in the dark about this, darlin’? He has a right to know the truth.”

It still hurt her to allow Drake to live with the pain of that lie, but when she thought of the potential fall-out it seemed like the only answer. “Trust me, it’s for the best.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, seeming unconvinced by her claim.

She gazed longingly at the stage.

Smiling, J.T. asked, “You up for performin’ a song or two tonight?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I’d love to, but…” She hadn’t been in contact with her band since what happened at the center. Not even a phone call to check on her status. “I’m not sure that I have a band anymore, to tell you the truth.”

J.T. frowned. “What happened? You guys have a fallin’ out or what?”

“Not that I know of.” She suspected it had more to do with her band mates significant others not relishing the idea of them working so closely with her. “Maybe they just got tired of waitin’ for our big break or maybe they decided to find a lead singer who wasn’t on the black list all over town.”

“I have a feelin’ that’s gonna change real soon,” J.T. said, grinning. “There’s no way Drake would have invited you to stay in his house unless he was ready to bury the past.”

“I think he just feels sorry for me,” she said quietly. It was difficult to admit he saw her as a charity case, but he couldn’t possibly have any other reason for inviting her in to his home. Drake was a good man, and his conscience wouldn’t allow him to turn his back on someone he’d once cared about.

“I think there’s a bit more to it than that.”

Cassidy couldn’t afford to waste her time on foolish dreams that would never come true. She had to use the next few weeks while she still had the luxury of a roof over her head to make plans for the future.

“So, about you performin’ here tonight. If you’re interested, I’ve got a house band I use from time to time. I could give them a call.”

“Seriously?” she asked. She didn’t want to over-do it since her doctor hadn’t given her permission to perform again, but singing a ballad or two couldn’t hurt. She would simply refrain from doing any up-tempo numbers. “If you can arrange that, I’d love to.”

“No problem.”

Cassidy smiled when she saw Caleb walking toward their table. “Hey there. Did you decide to join us for lunch, after all?”

He returned her smile, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I’d love to, but I just got a call from a friend who needs me to drop something off at his place. Are you planning on sticking around here for a bit? I shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

“No problem.” Knowing she would need Caleb’s assistance to help her get back to the bar tonight, she crooked a finger, beckoning him to lean forward.

He chuckled as he leaned closer, his hand still resting on her shoulder. “More secrets? I’m starting to enjoy this.”

She laughed at his playfulness. He had this uncanny knack of making her smile no matter her mood. “J.T. just invited me to perform here tonight. I really want to, but I’m worried that Drake may not approve.” She hated asking Caleb to cover for her, but she didn’t see another option.

“You know I have to pick him up at the airport at 10:00.”

“No problem,” she said, looking at J.T. “One set and I could catch a cab home. What do you think?”

J.T. chuckled. “Hell, if Drake finds out, you know he’ll wanna kick my ass.”

“Does that mean you’re withdrawing your offer?” She tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, not wanting to put J.T. in the awkward position of having to choose between his two friends.

“Hell no.” J.T. winked at her. “I can’t wait to see you back up on that stage again. What Drake doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

After just a few days on the road, Drake couldn’t wait to get home to Cassidy. He’d tried to give her some space while he was away. As much as he wanted to talk to her, he’d settled for progress reports from Dora instead. He was hoping the distance would give her a chance to miss him.

No question about it, he was falling for that girl all over again. He knew she was a terrible risk given their history, but he couldn’t help the way he felt about the stronger version of the woman who’d captured his heart the very first time he laid eyes on her. In spite of her recent ordeal, she’d come back fighting, determined to rebuild her shattered life, and as much as he told himself he couldn’t hope to be a part of her new life, he wanted to be. More with every passing day.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he dialed his home number. Holding his breath, he hoped to hear the sound of Cassidy’s voice on the other end. Trying not to sound too dejected when Dora answered, he exchanged pleasantries with his housekeeper before asking, “Can I talk to Cassidy for a minute, Dora?”

“Um, she’s not here.”

Drake glanced at his watch. It was after ten o’clock at night. Where the hell could she be at that hour? Unless she’d moved out while he was gone. Maybe the doctor told her she was well enough to live on her own again. Just the thought of her returning to the scene of the crime looking for shelter made his blood run cold.

“What the hell do you mean? Where is she?”

“I’m not sure. She just said she needed to take care of something. Said she shouldn’t be too late.”

At least she was planning to return. He supposed he should be grateful for that. Still, the thought of her out at night, alone, didn’t sit well with him. She was still fragile, vulnerable… Thanking Dora, he disconnected the call and lowered the privacy glass separating him and Caleb. “Where’d you take Cassidy tonight?”

The driver glanced in his rear-view mirror. “She’s, uh, not home yet?” he asked, looking uneasy.

“How the hell would she get home if you didn’t pick her up?” Drake was starting to get a bad feeling about this. “Where is she?”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell you.”

Drake clenched the phone in his hand, the frustration mounting. “I don’t have time for games, Caleb. I want to know where she is now!” When his driver failed to respond, he said, “You tell me or you can start looking for another job tomorrow.”

Caleb sighed, obviously realizing he had no choice. “She’s at Jimmy’s.”

“She’s where?” What the hell was she doing at a bar? Alone. At night. “Take me there. Now.”

“But—”

“Don’t argue, goddammit. Just do it!”

***

Drake was still seething by the time he stormed in to Jimmy’s bar, barely stopping to acknowledge the bouncer who greeted him.

He glared at the little bombshell firing up the crowd as she pranced across the stage.
What the hell is she doing? There’s no way her doctor could have approved this.
She was still recovering from her injuries and had no business entertaining the rowdy group of drooling cowboys surrounding the stage.

Drake told himself he wasn’t jealous of the men trying to capture her attention. He was just concerned about her well-being. He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t even sell that bill of goods to himself. He’d like nothing more than to start bashing their heads together, but he had to maintain control.

The huge diamond that used to grace her left hand served as a flashing neon sign warning every man in the room she was taken. He suddenly wanted that back with a vengeance.

Making his way to the bar, Drake pointed at his friend. “You were behind this, weren’t you? What the hell were you thinking, letting her get back up there so soon? She’s not ready, man.”

J.T. grinned at her animated stage production. “She sure looks ready to me.”

“I don’t care what you think. I care about what her doctor thinks.” He sat down on a vacant stool at the bar and gestured to his favorite brand of vodka.

“Maybe you’re the one who’s not ready,” J.T. said as he set him up with a drink. “Could be you’re in no hurry for her to recover ’cause you’re not ready for her to move out of your house.” He smirked when Drake tipped his drink back. “Admit it, man. You’re still into her.”

There was no way he could deny it. J.T. had known him for too many years to let him hide behind a smokescreen. “I don’t see a bouncer near that stage. I suggest you rectify that in a hurry.”

J.T. smiled. “Why? She’s had guys comin’ on to her all night and she’s handled it just fine.”

“What the hell do you mean… coming on to her? They weren’t the kind of assholes who wouldn’t take no for an answer, were they?” Drake knew if they were it would be time to start taking names and kicking ass.

“No, they’re harmless. Just a handful of regulars who’ve been chasin’ her ever since she started singin’ here.”

Drake tapped the rim of his glass to let J.T. know he was ready for a refill.

“I think you’re worryin’ for nothin’,” J.T. said, pouring a splash of vodka in to Drake’s glass. “Besides, her boyfriend was here keepin’ an eye on her earlier. He wasn’t gonna let—”