New Beginnings (40 page)

She could feel him undoing the buttons of his shirt and casting it aside before he turned his attention to her jeans. Helping her ease them down, she toed her high boots off and turned to face him wearing only a pair of black lace panties.

“You are so beautiful,” he breathed.

He glided his hands over her body and she tried not to dwell on the imperfections that remained. Raised scars from surgery would fade with time, but never completely heal. They would serve as a reminder that life was precious and she should learn to appreciate every day as the gift it was. According to doctors, she should’ve died that night. When she learned she was living on borrowed time, she vowed to seize every opportunity and live every day like it was her last.

“Even more stunning than I remember.”

His hushed words were like a balm to her wounded self-image. It was difficult for her to feel beautiful when she looked in the mirror and saw only swelling, bruises and scars she feared would never fade. Knowing he still found her attractive bolstered her self-confidence and she knew that no matter what happened tomorrow, tonight would help her to heal.

He reached for his belt buckle, but she pushed his hands aside, taking over the task.

He grinned as he watched her slowly undressing him until she dropped to the floor at his feet. He sucked in a sharp breath, reaching for her arms to help her up, but she was exactly where she wanted to be. In the perfect position to remind her man what he had been missing all those months without her.

She set about loving him in a way she’d never indulged another man. Worshipping him with her mouth, moaning her pleasure as she took him deeper, she could feel the tension in the solid muscles of his legs as he fought for control.

“Oh Jesus, Cass, I…” He groaned through clenched teeth as he threaded his hands through her hair. “Baby, we gotta stop. I can’t…” He tugged her head back gently, tipping her face back until she was looking him in the eye. “I need to make love to you… now.”

She let him escort her to the king-sized bed and ease her back gently against the pillows before reaching in to the nightstand for protection. Watching him sheath himself, she opened for him, desperate to feel a pleasure beyond anything she’d ever expected to experience again.

Her teen years had been punctuated with wild parties and meaningless sex, but it wasn’t until she met Drake that she realized what it meant to
make love.
He was the only man who’d ever touched her soul while claiming her body, and she prayed it would be everything she remembered.

He straddled her, staring down in to her eyes as he braced his hands on either side of her head. Lowering himself to his elbows, he kissed her slowly and sweetly as though he was as intent as she to savor every moment of their time together. “Are you sure about this, baby? If you’re having any doubts, I understand.”

She loved that he was putting her needs above his own, proving to her yet again that the man she’d fallen in love with had been hiding behind that brusque exterior all along. “I’m positive.”

Drake slid into her slowly, allowing her time to adjust to his invasion as he continued to kiss her thoroughly. Groaning, he deepened the kiss and held himself in check as she clenched him mercilessly.

Her favorite part of making love to Drake had always been watching him lose control. Knowing that the world saw him as this ultra-powerful music mogul, but in her arms he was a prisoner to his body.

“Are you okay?” he asked in her ear. His breathing was labored, as though the painstaking task of controlling his body’s urges was already taking its toll. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, praying she could prevent the tears from falling. She was so in love with this man, trying to hide that from him was harder than she ever expected it to be.

“Hey,” he said, pulling back to look her in the eye. “You need me to stop, baby?”

“No,” she said, wrapping her arms around his back to draw him closer. “Please, don’t. I need you.”

Satisfied with her response, he began to pick up the tempo. “Jesus…” he whispered. “I love the way you feel.”

She didn’t trust herself to speak so she just held him tighter, burying her face in his neck. Her body was imploring her to release the moan building in her throat, but she was aware of the fact they weren’t alone in the house. Thousands of square feet may separate them from Drake’s staff, but she knew if she voiced her pleasure, it would reverberate through the house.

“Don’t do that,” he whispered, digging his hands in to his hips as he plunged in and out, harder, faster, deeper with every stroke. “Don’t ever hold back with me.”

She didn’t know how he could tell she was being cautious, but as he continued to stoke the fire the building inside of her, she had no choice but to let go, freefalling, hoping he would be there to catch her when she landed.

When Cassie woke up the next morning, she tried to quash the disappointment. She was alone. Again. She reminded herself that Drake was a busy man, that his time was valuable, but in her idealistic mind, he’d woken her with a kiss, if only to tell her that last night had been as magical for him as it had been for her.

Before she had time to feel sorry for herself, her cell phone rang. Scrambling to find the purse she’d dropped on the floor the night before, she tried following the sound, tossing aside clothes and pillows in her haste to find it. If it was Drake, she didn’t want to miss his call.

She glanced at the screen. Unknown caller. “Hello.”

“I’m looking for Cassidy Ross.”

“This is she.”

“Cassidy, my name is Elsie. I live across the hall from your mama. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but she’s had a stroke.” When Cassidy didn’t respond, she continued. “I didn’t know who else to call. She talked about you and your sister all the time. I found your numbers in the book by the phone… I just thought someone should be there for her. I would go to the hospital myself, but I have to go into work soon.”

Deafening silence prompted her to say, “I’d, uh, call in, but there’s no one to take my shift at the diner.”

Cassidy sank to the bed, trying to process the news. She hadn’t spoken to her mother in over a year. Phil encouraged her to sever the toxic bonds in her life so she could begin to let go of the past. Her mother had always been a harsh reminder of why she’d been trying to escape in the first place. Still, a part of her remained hopeful that her Elizabeth would find the strength to fight her own demons someday.

“Is she…?” She cleared her throat. “Going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, honey. They just rushed her to the hospital around the corner.”

Cassidy remembered that hospital well. It was so close she could hear the sirens from her bedroom when she left the window open in the summer to escape the stifling heat and stench of stale booze and cigarettes. “Thank you for calling. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Her hand trembled as she let the phone fall to her lap.

Elizabeth Ross had lived in the same rundown apartment two blocks from the hospital for as long as Cassidy could remember. The only other home she remembered was a run-down trailer they’d lived in with one of her mother’s boyfriends when Katie was just a toddler.

That apartment was the dungeon that housed her worst childhood memories and now she had to go back and face them again. She only prayed she was strong enough to face it alone.

***

Drake bounded up the stairs leading to his front door just before dinner. He couldn’t wait to see Cassidy. In spite of how busy he’d been in the studio, memories of last night had been taunting him all day, making it difficult for him to concentrate.

He wandered in to the kitchen, expecting to see Cassidy sitting on a stool at the counter, helping Dora chop vegetables. In spite of Dora’s protests, she insisted on helping and he suspected both women enjoyed their daily chats.

“Hey,” he said, smiling at his housekeeper. “Where’s Cassidy?”

Dora focused her attention on the prime rib she was slicing, not responding right away.

Drake couldn’t explain why Dora’s subtle evasion made him nervous, but it did. “I asked you a question, Dora. Where is she?”

She sighed as she pulled a white envelope out of her apron. “She’s gone. She asked me to give you this.”

Drake reached for the letter as a sick feeling of dread overcame him. “What do you mean, she’s gone? Don’t tell me she went back to that hell hole.”

“No, nothing like that,” Dora said, looking sad. “She had to deal with a family emergency.”

“What kind of family emergency?” He knew she didn’t have a relationship with her mother or her sister and she didn’t have any other family.

“It’s all in the letter, I assume,” Dora said, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

“Just tell me one thing.” He wasn’t sure he had the courage to ask the question, but living in denial wasn’t an option for him. “Is she planning on coming back?”

“I don’t think so,” Dora said softly, looking up at him. “I’m sorry, honey.”

He sank down on a stool, unable to believe what he was hearing. He’d let himself fall in love with that woman all over again and last night she’d shown him in every possible way that the feeling was mutual. Why would she leave him now when fate was giving them a second chance?

“I don’t get it… why?”

“Read the letter,” Dora said, rounding the counter to pat his back. “I’m sure she explained everything.”

He didn’t want to read the damn letter. He wanted to see her face to face so he could convince her to stop running. This was her home, or at least he wanted it to be.

He waited until Dora left the room before tearing in to the non-descript envelope. His hands were trembling as he unfolded the single sheet of paper. How the hell could she explain her reasons for walking out of his life on one lousy piece of paper?

Drake,

I’ll never be able to thank you enough for welcoming me in to your home and taking such good care of me.

Drake was getting angrier by the second. She was addressing him like he was a stranger instead of the man she’d made love to last night. Forcing himself to continue, his eyes scanned the words.

The time I spent with you allowed me to heal physically and emotionally. I feel stronger than I ever have and I know I’m going to be just fine now.

So, he’d served his purpose, helping her to heal from her injuries. Now it was time for her to move on? What a fool he’d been to trust her again. He should’ve known she would pull a stunt like this.

It’s time for me to go home and face my past before I can ever hope to build a future, with you or anyone else.

Once the initial anger began to subside, fear set in. He read and re-read the last sentence, trying to make sense of those few simple words. How could she even think about building a life with someone else when he loved her too much to even contemplate letting her go?

My mother’s had a stroke. I hope you can understand why I want to be there for her. I know she wasn’t the mother I needed growing up, but she’s the only mother I have. I could never forgive myself if I abandoned her now.

Drake felt like a jerk for assuming the worst. Of course she would want to be there for her mother. He wouldn’t expect any less from the woman who’d put her life in jeopardy to help strangers wrestle their demons.

I’m not sure of her status. Her neighbour wasn’t able to tell me very much over the phone, but her recovery may be long and painful. There’s no telling how long she’ll need me, months, years, perhaps forever.

Being apart forever wasn’t an option for Drake. Now that Cassidy was back in his life, there was no way in hell he intended to let her go again.

I wanted to call and say good-bye, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know a letter probably seems like the coward’s way out, but I didn’t see another way.

Last night was incredible. I’ll store it with all of the other wonderful memories you gave me during our time together. You’re an amazing man and I’m so much better and stronger for having known you.

Love,

Cassidy

Drake refolded the paper and shoved it back in the envelope as his mind raced to find a solution to their dilemma. He was right in the middle of making a record and the most sought-after studio in the city didn’t grant special favors to anyone, not even him. Getting away right now seemed impossible, but leaving Cassidy to face her nightmare alone was unthinkable. She needed him and he couldn’t let her down.

“Are you okay?” Dora asked, placing a hand on his back.

“Did you know about what happened to her mother?” he asked.

“Yes, she told me before she left.”

“How did she seem to you?”

“Scared.”

“That’s what I was afraid of. I need to go there, to be with her.” He dropped the envelope on the counter and raked his hands through his hair. “But I need to make some plans first. Jesus, what a mess.”

“Drake,” Dora said, placing a hand on his forearm. “You’re the strongest man I know. You survived losing your own parents at such a young age, and in spite of that tragedy, you still managed to build this incredible life for yourself.”

“What’s your point?” He’d known Dora long enough to know there was one. She wouldn’t have risked picking his emotional scabs without a reason.

“You’ll find a way to make this work. I watched you fall in love with that young lady all over again these past few weeks.” She smiled. “In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever stopped loving her.”

“You’re probably right about that.”

“Anger is a vicious beast,” she said quietly. “It has the power to twist the most beautiful thing into something wretched.”

“Are you saying you don’t think I had the right to be angry about what happened between Cassidy and my brother?”

She touched his face, a sad smile on her lips. “Honey, things are not always what they seem.”