New Beginnings (37 page)

She rolled her eyes, sending him a message that she didn’t feel sorry for him. “Poor baby. Instead of being a struggling musician like me, you get to produce dozens of multi-platinum selling artists. Forgive me if I don’t feel sorry for you.”

It had always been easy for Drake to handle criticism and he learned early on that he had to develop a thick skin if he wanted to survive in this business. “Things worked out the way they were supposed to,” he said, inclining his head toward the piano. “You have your gifts and I have mine.”

“Yeah,” she said, gesturing to the opulence surrounding them. “But your gifts bought you all this and mine doesn’t even put food on the table. Sometimes I think I came out with the short end of the stick.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said with certainty. “Music is the way you express yourself. Anyone can see that. Without your music, you never would’ve been able to overcome the addiction that was stealing your life and will to live.”

“You’re right,” she said, nodding her head. “As a kid, it was always my coping mechanism. I’d go to my room, put on my headphones and get lost for hours… just writing. Without that ability to escape, I probably would have ended up like my sister.”

“Have you seen Katie since that night?”

“No.” Her eyes were filled with sadness when she said, “I realized it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I had to let her go to find her own way, just like I had to find mine.”

Drake knew how much Cassidy loved her baby sister. She wanted more than anything to save her from herself. “Do you think she has?”

“I hope so.”

“How about your mother?” he asked. “Do you ever hear from her?”

“No.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve made too many bad choices in my life because of toxic relationships. I had to make a choice. Them or me.”

“You made the right choice.”

“Thanks,” she said, smiling. “I think so too.”

He hadn’t expected her to have matured so much this past year. The girl he’d fallen in love with had still been trying to find herself in so many ways. It seemed she now had a clarity she hadn’t had before. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

He was humbled by her willingness to share so much of herself with him in light of their tumultuous past. “If you could turn back time and do things differently, would you?”

“Definitely,” she said without hesitation. “Had I been born into a different family, I may have believed college was an option for me. I would’ve worked harder in high school to get the grades I needed…”

“It’s never too late to go to college,” he said, crossing his arms. “What would you study?”

She laughed. “Music, obviously.”

“It so happens there’s a great school right here in Nashville,” he said, grinning.

“Maybe,” she said, shrugging. “You never know what the future may hold, right?” Getting to her feet, she stretched her arms out, working out the stiffness. “I’m going to head upstairs now. Thanks for dinner and staying home to keep me company tonight. It was really nice.”

“It was my pleasure.” Given the choice between a quiet dinner at home with her and an A-list party at one of the city’s hot spots, he’d still choose her every time. Which scared the hell out of him. Not only was he still attracted to her, he was beginning to like and respect her in a way he never had before. It was going to be difficult to guard his heart against this woman.

***

Cassidy woke early the next morning and peeked inside the walk-in closet. At Drake’s request, Phil had delivered her meager belongings to his home and Dora had been kind enough to unpack for her before she got home from the hospital. She had to remind herself this wasn’t her home. It was Drake’s. She was just a temporary houseguest.

A soft knock on the door startled her. “Come in,” she called, expecting to see Dora.

Instead, Drake was standing there, his hair was still damp and he was wearing faded, torn jeans and a tight black T-shirt
. Lord have mercy, the man doesn’t make it easy to be a good girl.

Tearing her gaze away from him, she pretended to look through the closet. There were only a few outfits hanging there so it didn’t take long. “Good morning.”

“Hey, I thought you might like to take a drive after breakfast. Maybe even visit a few antique shops. That is if you’re up to it?”

That had been one of her favorite Sunday pastimes when they were a couple. But that was then. Now, she didn’t have a home to display treasured antiques, not that she could afford them even if she did. “Thanks, but I thought I’d ask Caleb to take me to church this morning. If he’s available.”

He scowled at that. “No, he’s not.” He softened his tone. “I mean, I can take you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

She knew it was pointless to argue with him when he’d made up his mind about something. “If you’re sure you don’t have anything else to do.”

“I’m all yours.”

If only that were true.
“Okay, thanks. I just need to grab a quick shower. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“Do you need any help?”

She looked up, expecting him to be embarrassed by his blunder, but the lascivious grin spreading across his face told her he knew exactly what he said and how it would be perceived.

Shaking her head while trying to hide her smile, she said, “No, I think I can handle it. Thanks for the offer though.”

He glanced at her unmade bed before pointing to the adjoining bathroom. “Maybe I should wait here, just in case.”

Rolling her eyes, she said. “That won’t be necessary.”

“You’re no fun,” he muttered, closing the door behind him.

Cassidy was pleasantly surprised the uncomfortable tension between them seemed to be dissipating the more time they spent together. She wasn’t foolish enough to believe he would ever be able to forgive or forget what she had done, but maybe he would end his crusade to ruin her life.

In spite of her promise to be quick, she took her time in the shower. With jets pulsating all over her body, she could have gladly hidden away in there all day. Standing in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around her, she directed the hair dryer at the mirror so she could see her reflection.

It was still difficult to look at the fading bruises around her neck without thinking about that night. Running her fingertips over her fading scars, she sighed. With no other options, she knew she would have to go back to the center soon. She would be on guard with new residents from now on though…

She must’ve been deep in thought because she didn’t hear the light tap on the bathroom door until it was too late.

Drake was standing there staring at her, fisting the doorknob so hard his knuckles turned white. “Jesus,” he whispered, staring at the marks marring her body.

Her face flamed with shame and embarrassment as she tried to turn away and hide from him.

“Don’t,” he said, closing the door behind him. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. He’s the one who’s should feel remorseful, and believe me, if I ever get my hands on him, I’ll make sure he does.” His words were soft, but laced with venom as his eyes scanned the parts of her body not hidden by the towel.

He was too close, invading her personal space.

She sucked in a breath and tried to retreat as he reached for the towel. “What are you…?” Before she could stop him, he’d bared her body to his roaming eyes. “Drake, I…” Her eyes filled with tears as he scanned every inch of her, taking in the injuries still visible to the naked eye.

“It’s okay,” he said, taking a step closer. His touch was so gentle tears sprung to her eyes as his fingertips skimmed her neck. He bent his head and dropped kisses over the ugly discolorations marking her skin.

“Please,” she said, holding on to his broad shoulders. She didn’t know if she was pleading with him to stop or continue. When he touched her like that, like maybe he still felt something other than contempt for her, her heart gave in to hope.

“I would never have let anyone hurt you like this if we were still…” His words fell away as his mouth began a gentle perusal of her skin.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say or how to respond. It had been so long since a man held her like this and she would give anything to forget the last time, the night that turned her dream of happily ever after into a terrifying nightmare.

“Let me help you to heal,” he whispered, drawing her closer, holding her in the protective circle of his strong arms.

She knew it would take years for her to heal. This latest episode was one of many violations she’d had endure in her thirty years on this earth. She could only pray it would be the last. “You can’t help me,” she whispered, knowing she had to find the strength from within. “I let you take care of me once before. I can’t do that again.” She’d allowed herself to live in a sheltered cocoon with Drake, believing for the first time in her life someone would be there to take care of her. But one night changed everything and it was a bitter reminder that the only person she could count on was herself.

He tipped his head back to look her in the eye as his hands rested on her hips. “You can’t tell me you don’t still want me.”

“I told you, I don’t do casual sex anymore.”

“Who says that’s what I’m proposing?”

Her heart may be torn between loving and letting go, but in her head, she had already moved on. She and Drake were from two different worlds. Their paths weren’t meant to merge again. “We can’t go back,” she said, reaching up to touch his face. “Not even if we wanted to.”

He leaned in, brushing his cheek against hers as he whispered in her ear. “I haven’t forgotten what it was like between us. The way you used to love me…”

She hadn’t forgotten either. She’d assumed having to live with those memories, a cruel reminder of what could’ve been, was her punishment for making the mistake of trusting the wrong people.

“I did love you,” she said, tipping her head back to look him in the eye. If she could convince him of that and they could lie their bitterness and hurt to rest once and for all, this whole ordeal would have been worth it. “I hope you believe that.”

“I do,” he said, quietly. He threaded his hand through her damp hair, cupping the back of her neck. “You couldn’t have faked that.”

Closing her eyes, she revelled in his admission. Cassidy had waited so long to hear him acknowledge her love for him. She’d almost convinced herself the day would never come. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you to know that.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at her, as though he was battling an internal struggle between his heart and head.

“No one ever loved me the way you did.” She stood on her toes, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Thank you for that, Drake.”

He held her close, refusing to let her go when she tried to draw away.

She should have felt self-conscious about her state of undress, but his gentle, reverent touch made her feel worshipped. “I want us to be friends. If you think that’s possible?” She held her breath, waiting for a response she began to think may never come.

“You want to be my friend?”

“I could use a friend like you,” she whispered. “Not because of what you can do for me.”

“No?”

“You made me believe in myself. I really need to feel that way again.” She hated asking for help, but she knew he was one of the few people with the power to help her tackle the task of re-building her fragmented life.

“I can help you with that,” he said, burying his face in her neck. “The hard part is gonna be keeping my hands off you.”

She smiled at his dilemma. It was nice to know he still found her attractive, even in her current state. Taking his hands in hers, she set them at his sides. “I just need a friend, not a lover.” Giving Drake her body while he still had her heart in the palm of his hand would be too risky. She already had enough problems, she didn’t need to complicate things with sex.

“I understand.” He drew a deep breath and took a step back, raising both hands. “Friends it is.”

***

Cassidy had been staying at Drake’s house for two weeks when she hatched a plan to sneak out of his fortress. Caleb, her partner in crime, agreed to take her to Jimmy’s while Drake was out of town on business. He was supposed to return this evening, but she only intended to stay at the bar for a quick lunch with J.T. He’d called to check on her condition and she found out he would be at Jimmy’s that afternoon. Swearing J.T. to secrecy, she promised to stop by and see him later.

She found J.T. sitting in a booth at the rear of the bar with his laptop when she arrived.

His face split in to a wide grin as he rose to his feet. “Damn, it’s great to see you lookin’ so good, girl,” he said, giving her a cautious hug.

Slapping him on the back, she laughed. “I won’t break, J.T. In fact, I feel wonderful.” It was true. The doctor had even given her the green light to engage in light physical activity using Drake’s home gym. She could hardly wait to start walking on the treadmill when she got home.

Home.
As often as she reminded herself Drake’s house was not her home, it was difficult not to feel as though she belonged there with Dora treating her like the mistress of the manor. She consulted Cassidy on everything from the grocery list to the fresh flower selections and dinner menus. According to Drake, whatever she wanted was fine with him.

Ever since their intimate encounter in the bathroom, he’d been like a different man. Treating her as though the night that ended their engagement never happened. But she knew his memory lapse was too much to expect. No doubt, he was just trying to be the good host, making her feel comfortable in his home for the duration of her visit.

“Sit,” J.T. said, gesturing to the vacant booth. Closing his laptop, he said, “I’m surprised to see you lookin’ so good. Bein’ princess of the palace must agree with you.”

She laughed, a little self-conscious. “I’m not a princess. I’m certainly not foolish enough to believe that I’m going to get my happily ever after with Drake. Too much has happened.”

He looked as though he wanted to say something, but bit his lip instead.