New Beginnings (43 page)

“Yes, you did, but you didn’t need to. I came because this is where I belong.” He held the door with his foot as he tipped her chin with his finger, tilting her head up. “I wanna be by your side from now on, sweetheart. Through the good and the bad.” He planned to put his money where his mouth was later. Given their track record, he knew he would have to prove his sincerity before she was willing to trust him with her heart again.

“I love you for saying that, but—”

“No buts,” he said, kissing her gently. ”I don’t wanna hear you say you don’t need me, ’cause I don’t believe that. You need me just as much as I need you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Since when have you ever needed anyone, Drake?”

He drew her inside and let the door close behind them. Leaning against the wall, he pulled her against his chest. “I didn’t even realize how much I needed you until you were gone.” He could tell she didn’t believe him, so he framed her face with his hands, forcing her to look him in the eye. “There was this constant ache in my chest and no matter what I did, it wouldn’t go away.”

She rested her hand over his heart. “I know what you mean.”

“When I saw you at Jimmy’s again, it was like the part of me that died when you left came back to life. Sure, I was still hurt and angry, but what I was feeling was so much more than that.”

“I never thought we’d be back here. I just assumed that was too much to hope for,” she said, tracing his lower lip with her thumb. “A girl like me couldn’t possibly get that lucky twice in a lifetime, right?”

“Wrong.” He turned his mouth into her palm, pressing a kiss to her delicate skin. “We’re here because fate brought us back together, baby. I really believe that.”

She laughed. “Was it fate or was it J.T.?”

“Either way, we’re here now,” he said, holding her close. “That’s the only thing that matters.”

“Agreed,” she said, sighing as she rested her head on his chest.

“Come on, let’s grab a quick shower before dinner.”

“Would you mind if we just stayed in tonight?” she asked, hiding a yawn behind her hand. “I didn’t get much sleep last night and—” She stopped and stared at the garment spread out on the bed. “Oh my God! What did you do?”

He chuckled at her reaction. “Does that mean you like it?”

“Are you kidding?” she asked, slowly stepping forward as she reached the bed. Her fingertips traced the silver dress lovingly. “This is the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever seen in my life.” She clasped her hand over her mouth when her eyes fell to the designer sandals on the floor. Picking one up, she looked at the hand-sewn embellishments in the soft glow of the overhead light. “This is too much. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

He laughed at her enthusiasm.
Silly girl
. Didn’t she realize a few thousand dollars was nothing compared to the value he placed on having her back in his life?

Drake punched his code in to the room’s safe and withdrew a rectangular velvet box. “If you like the dress, I’m hoping you’re gonna love this.”

“I can’t possibly accept all this,” she said, looking at the box as though it might contain a toxic substance. “It’s way too much. We’re not even—” She blushed. “I mean, I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity.”

He opened the box, hoping to halt her protest.

“Oh,” she breathed, looking up at him. Her eyes were filling with tears as she said, “It’s so beautiful.”

The black pearl and diamond necklace with matching earrings paled in comparison to her natural beauty, but Drake knew she would never believe that so he simply extracted the necklace from the box and slipped in behind her to fasten it.

She lifted her hair and he could tell she was holding her breath in anticipation.

“Do you like it?” he asked, kissing her neck before she let her hair tumble to her shoulders.

She touched the precious gems reverently as she glanced at her reflection in the mirror across the room. “I love it.”

“I love you,” he whispered. Looking at their image in the mirror, he smiled at her look of awe. “I mean it, Cassidy. I love you so much more now than I did the first time I asked you to be my wife because this time I realize how empty my life is without you.”

“That’s not true,” she said, casting her eyes down. “Your life is rich and full without me. You’re out every night rubbing shoulders with the richest and most famous people in town. There’s no way you could yearn for quiets nights at home when you have a beautiful woman on your arm every night.”

Drake hadn’t been a saint since they broke up. He hadn’t been looking for his soul mate when he bedded another woman. He’d already had and lost the woman he knew was the one. The others drifted in and out of his life just to fill the dull ache of loneliness. “Those women aren’t you,” he said, turning her into his arms. “Combined, they could never have given me what you did.”

A tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away with the back of her hand. “That’s just it, Drake. I have nothing to offer you, not yet. Maybe someday I’ll be a woman you could be proud to call your wife, but I haven’t found myself yet.”

His stomach clenched when he thought about the striking diamond engagement ring sitting in the safe. Was she telling him she wasn’t ready to wear it, that she wasn’t ready to be his wife? The first time he’d proposed, he knew she would say yes, but she wasn’t the same woman he’d fallen in love with back then. She was stronger and more confident now. She’d endured so much, and months of therapy and recovery and obviously taught her who she wasn’t or couldn’t be.

“I want you exactly the way you are,” he whispered, stroking her face. “You don’t need to change to impress me. You never have to prove yourself to me.”

“Maybe not,” she said, her lips trembling as she forced a smile. “But I do have something to prove to myself.”

“You’re scaring me,” he said, pulling her in to a hug. He couldn’t let her go again. It would kill him this time. “Don’t tell me you can’t evolve into the person and the musician you want to be while you’re my wife.”

“Drake,” she said, pulling back to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry, but I’m just not ready to make that kind of commitment right now.”

She stepped out of his arms and he had to clench his hands at his sides to keep from reaching out to her again. “Damn it, Cassidy. I could help you. I could give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You could do whatever the hell you want… with my support. Write music, get your record deal, be a mother…” He uttered the last words quietly, knowing how much the old Cassidy wanted a baby. His heart would break if she told him she didn’t want that anymore.

She started pacing the floor at the foot of the bed. “When I met you, I honestly felt like I’d met my Prince Charming. I know it sounds silly, but you swept me off my feet and made me believe in happily ever after.”

He could kill his brother with his bare hands for putting them in this position. Cassidy would already be his wife, perhaps even carrying his child by now if not for Lee. And he wouldn’t be fighting the fear that she was getting ready to walk out of his life all over again.

“You made me believe that someone like you really could fall in love with a girl like me.” She stopped pacing and looked up at him.

The conviction he saw in her eyes shook him. She wasn’t wavering or second guessing her decision. She knew exactly what she wanted and he feared it wasn’t him.

“I did. God, I do love you. So damn much.”  His voice was shaky, his insides quivering. If she told him to leave her here to care for her mother without him, he didn’t know how he would deal with it. “Whatever the issues, we’ll work through them.” Panicking, he did the only thing he thought might salvage his dream. He went to the safe to extract the ring box.

She looked at the box in his hand as he walked toward her. “No,” she whispered, holding her hand up. “Please, don’t do that.”

Stunned, he clenched the box in his fist. “You’re saying you don’t want to marry me?”

“I can’t let you rescue me, not again. I have to learn how to stand on my own two feet and figure things out for myself. Please, just tell me you understand.”

He didn’t understand any of this. He’d shown up here to support the woman he loved. He wanted to take Cassidy and her mother home with him and now he was faced with the prospect of returning to a shell of a house containing memories of the brief period she made it feel like a home.

“Is this because I blamed you for what happened with Lee?” He felt sick to his stomach. The only other time he’d ever felt like this was the last time she left him. Only then his grief had been laced with rage, which somehow made it easier to let her go. Now he was just feeling this immense sense of loss and sadness he hadn’t experienced since he found out his parents would never be coming home again.

“No,” she whispered. “That wasn’t your fault. You had every reason to assume the worst of me under the circumstances.” She took a step forward, taking his hands in hers. “That’s just it, Drake. I’m so glad you sent me packing that night. You gave me something I’d never had before: the will to fight.”

“Fight for me now. Jesus, Cassidy, you gotta fight for us.” Drake knew he was begging and he didn’t care if it made him seem weak or vulnerable. He’d wasted too many years being the tough guy, pretending he didn’t need anyone and he’d wound up alone. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted her, only her, and he’d do whatever it took to make her realize that.

She reached up to stroke his face. “I love you.”

“Then don’t…” He cleared his throat when his voice broke. “Don’t do this.”

“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”

He let her words sink in for a minute, felt the disappointment move through him, but he wasn’t ready to give up just yet. “Fine, take all the time you need. You can move in with me and we’ll get your mama set up in the guest house. I’ll hire a nurse and—”

A sad smiled teased her lips as she touched her fingertips to his mouth to silence him. “You’re doing it again, trying to rescue me. I can’t let you.”

“Please,” he said, grabbing her waist. “Just tell me what the hell I need to do to make things right.”

“You need to let me figure that out on my own.” She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I don’t expect you to wait for me to figure things out because, honestly, I don’t know how long that might take, but just know that you’ve changed my life in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.”

“So you’re staying here?” He couldn’t even imagine returning to Nashville without her.

“Yes. This is where I need to be right now. My mama needs me, and I need to figure out where I go from here.”

“What about your music? You’re telling me that you’re just gonna give up on your dream so you can play at being your mama’s nursemaid?” He cursed himself when she winced at the resentment she must have heard in his voice. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Look,” he said, gripping her shoulders. “Maybe I’m being selfish, but I really felt like this was our second chance. Please don’t walk away from that.”

“I’m not walking away from anything, Drake. I’m gonna try to rebuild my life from the ground up. Maybe I’ll even be able to forge a healthy relationship with my mama for the first time in my life. I really want that.”

He couldn’t blame her for that. He’d give anything for just one more day with his own parents. “But where does that leave us?”

“I’d like to think we can be friends,” she said, cautiously. “Maybe we can call or email to touch base now and again?”

Drake couldn’t imagine being her friend when he wanted so much more, but if that was the only offer on the table, he had no choice but to except it. Shoving the ring in his pocket, he leaned in to kiss her forehead. He knew if he tasted her lips one more time, he wouldn’t have the strength to tear himself away. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

Cassidy had been caring for her mother for almost six months and during that time, her life had changed in ways she could never have imagined. They’d forged a healthy mother/daughter relationship since Elizabeth quit drinking and they’d moved in to a small two-bedroom  apartment across the hall. Cassidy had painted and convinced the landlord to replace the carpet before they moved and she’d budgeted for new furniture and window coverings. She wanted to know that her mother would have a place she would be proud to call home when Cassidy finally left to pursue her own dream.

Selling her songs had been difficult at first, but then she had the satisfaction of hearing one of her songs on the radio, even topping the country music charts, and it gave her a sense of pride she’d never had before. Her earnings had allowed her to pay her mother’s rent until they were able to arrange for a long-term disability pension and set up a repayment plan with the hospital.

Everything was falling in to place in her life and she was finally heading back to Nashville for a meeting with Evan Spencer, the president of Titan Records. He wanted to discuss the possibility of hiring her as a staff writer and she was hoping his proposal would give her the freedom and flexibility to move on with the next phase of her life.

Her cell phone rang and she glanced at the screen as she pulled up to a traffic light. Katie. She and her sister had spoken several times since her mother’s stroke, but their discussions had been focused on Liz and her recovery.

“Hello,” she said, pushing the button to connect the call.

“Hey, Cass, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, I’m just on my way to Titan Records to meet with Evan Spencer about a job.” Glancing at the digital display on her dashboard, she said, “I should be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“I called the apartment first. Mama told me you were going to a job interview. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” There were able to manage cordial, but Cassidy didn’t know if they would ever bond as sisters again. “What’s up?”

“Um, I have some news I wanted to share with you.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, wow…” Cassidy didn’t know why that news felt like fire spreading through solar plexus. Perhaps because she was the older sister and her biological clock had her looking at every baby she passed on the street. “Congratulations.”