New Beginnings (45 page)

“Demons? That’s where that song came from?” He struggled to remember every word of the song he’d listened to dozens of times. Nikki Spencer McCall had been the artist who recorded the song, but Drake couldn’t help but hear Cassidy’s voice behind the heart-wrenching words of abuse and loneliness.

“Yes.” She set some salad on her plate as though she needed something to distract her from the pain. “I started working on that song years ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish it until I was back in that apartment, surrounded by the vile memories of those monsters who stole my innocence.”

“Your mother’s boyfriends?” Drake clenched his fist beneath the table. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect this woman, and the thought of someone hurting the innocent child she’d once been enraged him.

“Yes.” She took a small bite of salad, blinking away the tears in her eyes.

He knew she was trying to pretend it didn’t still hurt, but he wanted to tell her she didn’t have to pretend with him. He would always be the guy she could let her guard down with. He would never judge or ridicule her for circumstances that were beyond her control.

“My mama and I talked a lot about my childhood these past few months and it’s helped both of us to forgive, start to forget, and move on. I feel like I finally have a mother for the first time in my life,” she said, smiling.

“I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart,” Drake said, squeezing her hand. He wanted her to rebuild her relationship with her mother, but he hoped that didn’t mean she felt she needed to stay in the same town to strengthen that bond.

“She’s starting to build a new life for herself and I’m so proud of her, Drake.” Her face lit up as she said, “She’s even started going to church and she’s made a whole new set of friends who are really supporting her in the changes she’s making.”

“It sounds like she’s in a good place.”
Please, let that mean you’re ready to come home to me.

“She is. When I saw her making all of these positive changes, getting out more, making new friends, starting a business, I realized I wanted to give her a fresh new start in a new place.”

“That’s why you decided to move to the new apartment?”

“We spent a lot of time fixing it up, but it’s still affordable so she’ll be able to manage the bills on her own soon.”

Drake wished Cassidy wasn’t too proud to accept his help, but he knew he had to let her do this her way. Taking a bite of pizza, he was relieved when it didn’t sit like lead in his stomach. “It sounds like your mama is on the right track. So, what does that mean for you?”
For us?

“I realized that writing music is my passion, Drake.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. Cassidy was one of the most gifted singers he knew, but being a musician required a commitment at a whole different level than that of a song writer. Song writers worked behind the scenes, set their own schedules, didn’t have to deal with the celebrity status artists did, and often took time off for things like…
having a family.

“I had a story to tell and my songs allow me to do that.” She smiled before finishing her slice of pizza and dabbing her mouth with a napkin. Sitting back in her seat, she reached for her glass. “I always thought that could only happen if I was the one to sing them, ya know? I thought I had to be out there on stage every night to really connect with an audience.”

“But…?”

“But the first time I heard one of my songs on the radio, I realized that’s not true. The singer is kind of like the narrator telling my story. It’s still my story, it’s just his or her voice sharing it with the world.”

“Makes sense,” he said, finishing his slice of pizza before setting his plate aside. Food was the last thing on his mind right now.

“So, that’s why I decided to accept Evan’s job offer,” she said, smiling.

“You’re going to be writing music exclusively for Titan’s artists?” He didn’t want to get too excited. He knew some of Titan’s writers worked in-house while others were scattered across the country.

“I sure am.” She grinned. “You’re looking at the newest member of the Titan Records team.”

“Congratulations, sweetheart,” he said, raising his glass in her honor.

She touched her glass to his and said, “The best part is that the contract comes with a great salary and performance incentives based on how well the song does.”

“It sounds like the perfect job for you,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. There were a million questions racing around in his head, but he didn’t want to come on too strong by firing them at her like missiles.

“It is, for a lot of reasons.” She slid her foot up his leg, winking at him as her tongue reached out to lick a drop of liquid off her wine glass.

“Such as?” he asked, shifting when her foot found his inner thigh.

“I’ll have a lot of free time, since I’ll be able to work from home whenever I want to. I mean, I can go in to the office or work from home, it’s up to me.”

“Go in to the office?” he asked, seizing her wandering foot in his hand so he could concentrate on what she was telling him. “That means you’ve decided to move back to Nashville?”

“That kind of depends…”

His heart nearly stopped as he waited for her response. “On?” he asked, finally.

“You. Do you want me to move back to Nashville?”

“Jesus,” he muttered, reaching for her hand to pull her into his lap. “You damn near gave me a heart attack, girl. Of course, I want you to move back. What the hell kind of question is that?”

“There’s something I need to say, Drake,” she said, bringing her hand to his face.

She looked so serious, so uncertain, and he knew if she continued torturing him this way, he would never survive the night. “Just say it already, please.”

Hiking her skirt up, she shifted so she was straddling him, facing him, looking into his eyes. “You are the man I was meant to spend my life with.”

He let out the breath he’d been holding in a gush as he tipped his head forward. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear you say that.”

“I didn’t need this time to figure out how I felt about you. I knew that all along, but I couldn’t come back to you until I figured out who I was. Until I felt like a complete person, healed from the past, in control of her addiction.” She smiled. “Someone who’d wrestled her demons and won.”

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, kissing her fiercely. “And I love you so damn much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, kissing him multiple times before pulling back to look him in the eye. “But there’s more, and I’m afraid you’re not going to like this part.”

As long as she intended to stay here and commit to building a life with him, he could deal with almost anything. “Let’s hear it,” he said, brushing her hair off her shoulders.

“I think I want my sister to be a part of my life again.” She eased the lines between his eyebrows with her fingertips when he scowled. “She and Lee are having a baby, and I want to have a relationship with my niece… with
our
niece,” she corrected.

Time hadn’t softened Drake’s anger toward his brother, but the news that he was going to be an uncle gave him reason to pause. If anything, he wanted to make sure Lee didn’t screw up some innocent kid’s life the way he’d managed to mess up his own. “You’re free to do whatever you want,” he said. “I’d never try to stand between you and Katie.”

“Do you think you might be able to forgive your brother at some point?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not ready to think about that just yet.” He held her close.

“But you’re not saying no?” she whispered in his ear.

He smiled at her persistence. “I’m not saying no.”

“Good,” she purred, grinding against him. “I guess I should start apartment hunting tomorrow, huh?”

He laughed. If she thought he was going to let her out of sight again, his sweet girl was delusional. “It just so happens I have the perfect spot for you,” he said, kissing her bare shoulder. Moving his way up to her neck, he smiled when he heard her breath get caught in her throat.

“Where?”

“On the other side of my bed.”

She gripped his shoulders as he continued kissing her neck. “That sounds…
perfect.
”

Drake was sitting in the office of his studio, trying to work through what seemed like the hundredth challenge he’d had to face that day when a soft tap on the door drew his attention away from his computer.

Expecting one of his employees, he turned his swivel chair to face the door and called, “Come in.” He was stunned when Lee appeared. “What the hell are you doing here?”

They hadn’t seen or spoken since that day at the hospital almost eight months ago, and while Drake knew Cassidy had spoken to and seen both Lee and her sister, he’d told her he wasn’t ready to bridge that gap just yet. She told him she understood, but he could tell she was disappointed that he wasn’t willing to make the effort. He didn’t want to upset her, but he couldn’t pretend his brother hadn’t betrayed him in the worst possible way.

“Can we talk, Drake?”

Drake didn’t know how to be civil to a man he’d once thought he would lay down his own life for, and that realization made him wonder whether it was too late to ever go back. “I have nothing to say to you.” In truth, he had a lot to say, but words wouldn’t repair their relationship. In fact, Drake questioned whether anything could.

“Then maybe you could just listen for a minute?” Lee looked hesitant, completely unlike the arrogant drug addict Drake had come to despise.

“I’m dealing with a crisis right now.” His day had been a series of crises and the last thing he needed was for his brother to add more angst.

“I understand,” Lee said, taking another step inside the office. “Honestly, I won’t take up too much of your time.” A hard, obvious swallow precluded his plea. “Drake, please, man.”

Drake took in his appearance, looking for a single tell-tale sign that he might be using again, but he had to admit, Lee looked better than he had in a long, long time. He almost reminded him of the kid with a bright future, who believed anything was possible. That was before the drugs took hold and he lost his grip on his dreams. “Fine, sit down,” he said, gesturing to the chair on the other side of his desk. “But I only have a minute.”

“That’s all I need.” Sitting down across from his brother with his hands clasped in front of him, his head bowed, Lee said, “Part of my recovery involves making amends.”

Drake didn’t wanted to derail his recovery, but he wasn’t ready to offer forgiveness. He didn’t know if he ever would be. “Then you should be talking to Cassidy.”

“I know.” Without his head still bowed, he lifted his eyes. “But I wanted to talk to you first. I know I should’ve come to you with this a long time ago, but I didn’t think you’d even agree to see me. So I waited. I bided my time, and figured if I was on really solid ground, maybe you’d believe that I’m sincere about turning my life around.”

“I hope you are. You have a baby on the way. She deserves the best of you.”

Cassidy told Drake they were going to have a niece. She’d even shown him a copy of the ultrasound picture her sister had given her. In that moment, his hatred was eclipsed by hope and he began to wonder if his family could heal. But then he looked at Cassidy, and he remembered. Perhaps she would always serve as a reminder of all the reasons his brother was dead to him now.

“That’s what I intend to give her.” Staring down at his hands, Lee said, “I want to be the kind of dad to her that we had.”

It wasn’t often they spoke of their parents. It was too painful to remember. “You have a hell of a long way to go.” When Lee winced, Drake felt a twinge of guilt. “But I have to commend you for wanting to try.”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry… for everything.” Lee’s voice trembled when he said, “You didn’t deserve any of it, and if I had it to do over again…”

“But you don’t. None of us get a do-over.” Drake knew he should find a way to be grateful that he had Cassidy back in his life and they were rebuilding their relationship, but it wasn’t easy to wipe his memory clean, no matter how much he might wish he could.

He missed having a brother. There was a time, when they were kids, that they had been inseparable. As siblings who’d suffered the tragedy of losing their parents, they understood each other the way no one else could. As twins, it often felt like they shared more than an uncanny resemblance. It seemed they had a window into the other’s soul. Drake missed that connection and knew that as much as he loved Cassidy, the bond he once shared with his brother was unlike any other.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”

Looking him in the eye, facing the anguish of his betrayal, Drake didn’t know whether he would rather deliver a blow or give in to his tears. “I don’t think so.” There was a long silence, where Drake almost thought he heard the united sound of their heartbeats.

“Okay, I understand.” Lee reached into his pocket when his cell phone rang, but he didn’t look at the call display. “Thanks for listening anyway.”

Drake just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Drake, I—” Cassidy stopped short when she burst into the room and realized Drake wasn’t alone. “Lee, what are you doing here?” Holding up her hand before he could respond, she said, “Forget it, it doesn’t matter. I just got a call from Katie. She’s at the hospital.”

“What?” Lee shook his head as if in denial. “No, not the baby.”

It was in that moment Drake realized his brother was already in love with his daughter and he said a silent prayer that she would be born healthy and strong because no matter how angry he was with Lee, he wanted only the best for that baby girl.

“She’s in labor, Lee,” Cassidy said. She looked at the phone he had clutched in his hand. “She tried to call you. Why didn’t you answer?”

Lee looked at Drake and it seemed he was unable to find his voice so Drake said, “We were just finishing up here when Katie called.”

“We don’t have time to waste,” Cassidy said, grabbing Lee’s jacket and pushing him toward the door.

“It’s too soon,” he whispered. “She wasn’t supposed to deliver for almost four weeks. Isn’t that too soon?” He looked at Cassidy, his eyes filled with terror. “You think she’s going to be okay though, right? She has to be okay.”