New Beginnings (48 page)

His smile slipped and he shoved his hand into the pocket of his black suit pants. “I am so sorry about messing up your life the way I did. I’m trying to forgive myself for that. I know it’s an important part of my recovery, but I gotta be honest, it isn’t easy. Just thinking about what I did to you and Drake—”

“You can’t keep beating yourself up about the past, Lee.” Cassidy knew from experience that drug addiction and alcohol were often borne of self-loathing and for little Hannah’s sake, she never wanted to watch Lee go down that road again.

“My brother still hates me,” he said, looking pained. “I can’t say that I blame him. I would feel the same way in his shoes.”

“He just needs a little more time.”

Cassidy didn’t know if the brothers would ever be able to rebuild the bond they’d once had, but for the sake of the man she loved, she hoped so. She knew Drake’s bitterness toward his twin was eating away at him and she hated to see him hurting that way. She understood addiction better than Drake ever could. She’d tried to explain to him that it was the drugs that prompted Lee to jump into bed with her that night, but Drake still wasn’t buying it.

“I hope you’re right.” His broad shoulders were slumped when he said, “Whether Drake believes me or not, I’d do anything to make things right.”

“I believe you,” Cassidy said quietly. She was surprised to realize she did. She never expected forgiveness to come on her wedding day, but it seemed fitting. It was a day of new beginnings, and she was ready to start a new relationship with her brother-in-law. “I forgive you.” She knew he needed to hear that. Sometimes a recovering addict needed forgiveness from the person or people they’d wronged before they could begin to forgive themselves.

He began swallowing rapidly as though he were trying to contain the emotion welling up. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”

Feeling compassion for a man who, on many levels, she shared more common ground with than the man she was marrying, she took a tentative step toward Lee, waiting for him to meet her halfway. When he did, she reached out to him and he wrapped his arms around her, patting her back gently. “I understand what it feels like to be broken, Lee.”

His voice sounded tearful when he said, “I never would have done those things if—”

“I know,” she said, soothingly. “I know.”

“Just love him, Cassidy. He needs you.”

“I can promise you I will, always.” Cassidy was touched that despite their differences, Lee still seemed so concerned about protecting his brother. It gave her hope that they could restore their relationship.

“I guess it’s almost time,” she said, when she saw Phil hovering outside the door.

She’d asked Phil to walk her down the aisle, knowing there was no one she would rather have by her side. He would be there to support her today the way he had the first day she walked into his office, damaged and confused, with nowhere else to turn.

“I guess I’ll see you downstairs,” Lee said.

When he stepped away, Cassidy grabbed his hand. “Don’t give up on Drake. Whether you realize it or not, he needs you too.”

A shaky laugh slipped from his lips. “I don’t know about that, but I’m not going to give up on him, no matter what.”

Phil and Lee shook hands as they walked past. Phil understood better than most the journey Lee had travelled to find the essence of who he was.

When they were alone, Phil looked at Cassidy, a slow smile spreading across his face. “You look so beautiful, so happy.”

“I am.” Cassidy knew her make-up was at risk again, but she didn’t care. Phil deserved to know that if not for him, she wouldn’t be standing here, getting ready to marry the man of her dreams. “Thanks to you.”

As he so often did, Phil deflected the compliment. “You did all the work. I just helped to guide you.”

“You did so much more than that.” Warmth radiated through her when she thought about the lengths this man had gone to just to help her learn how to be the person she longed to be. He believed in her long before she learned to believe in herself, and she knew she would be forever indebted to him for that. “You changed my life, Phil. You and Susan took me in and treated me like family when I had nowhere else to go. You made me believe that I was worthy, worth the effort you knew it would take for me to get my life back on track.”

“It looks like we were right,” Phil said, chuckling softly. “Look at you now,” he said, gesturing to her.

“This is just the packaging,” Cassidy said quietly. “I’m talking about the person I am on the inside now. I could never have become this strong or self-assured without you guys.”

“Yes, you could have,” Phil said, smiling when she looked skeptical. “It may have taken you a little longer, but the will to fight was always there. You weren’t going to let the drugs beat you, Cassidy. I knew that the first time I met you.”

Cassidy reached out to him at the same time he stepped forward. He hugged her with the affection that always made her wish she’d had an older brother to watch her back. Now she had so many people who loved her and looked out for her. Sometimes it didn’t seem possible that this was her life.

“Are you ready to do this?” Phil asked, pulling back and offering his arm.

“So ready,” she said, beaming, as she slipped her arm through his.

Drake’s breath got trapped in his throat as he watched Cassidy walk down the hand-made white silk aisle running along a length of manicured grass between rows of gilded chairs.

It felt like he’d been waiting a lifetime for the day he’d almost convinced himself would never come. After losing his parents, then his grandparents, and being betrayed by his brother, he’d given up on family, believing he was destined to be alone. Until Cassidy walked back in to his life and reminded him that he’d just been waiting for her to find her way back to him.

His life felt complete as he watched Phil kiss his bride and join their hands. Cassidy was his family now. Cassidy and the baby she was carrying. It seemed unfathomable that his heart could swell with so much love for someone he hadn’t even met yet, but he knew the relationship he had with their child would change him in ways he couldn’t even begin to understand yet.

As the minister spoke the familiar words, commencing their ceremony, he was lost in Cassidy. His mind drifted to all of the unforgettable moments they’d shared. The good, the bad, those that felt like they would break him and those that made him feel reborn.

The minister invited Cassidy to read her vows to Drake and he began to fear he would never survive this without breaking down in front of the hundred guests gathered under a massive floral embellished white tent on their manicured property.

A sense of calm and ease seemed to permeate the air around him, letting him know she had no reservations about joining their lives.

“I remember the first time I saw you,” Cassidy said, squeezing his hands. “I was more than a little star-struck.” Smiling, she said, “I thought I knew who you were from the articles I’d read and interviews I’d seen. But I quickly realized you were nothing like my perception.”

Drake listened, mesmerized by her words as she took him back to a day he would never forget.

“You weren’t some heartless guy who only cared about his bottom line. You cared about people. Not just your artists, but their families too. That’s when I realized I was in deep trouble. I was seriously crushing on you.”

Drake smiled when a ripple of amusement moved through their guests. She wasn’t the only one who was infatuated. The day he met her, all other women ceased to exist for him. He became consumed with getting to know her better, and eventually being the one who facilitated her dreams.

“I never, in my wildest dreams, thought a guy like you could love a girl like me.”

It pained Drake to know Cassidy had thought so little of herself back then. She had no idea how much she had to offer, but he couldn’t have missed it even if he tried. She was special, and she drew him to her like a magnet.

“You were everything I wasn’t.” Her voice was choked with tears when she said, “But you represented everything I wanted to be. You were smart, strong, successful… you had it all.”

He wanted to tell her he didn’t have it all until he had her, but he knew his time would come.

“You became the person I modelled my life after.” Offering a shaky smile, she glanced over his shoulder at the friends he’d assembled to stand beside him on this day. “I know that may sound strange, but when I was faced with a tough decision, I found myself asking what you would do.”

He had no idea she’d felt that way, but was touched and humbled by her admission.

“I didn’t have any role models growing up,” she said, quietly. “There was no one in my life to show me a better way. You were the first person I’d ever met who was actually living their dream and through you, I began to dream too.”

Closing his eyes, because he could no longer trust himself to hold it together, Drake sensed flashbulbs going off around them and he knew the select few members of the press who had been invited to the wedding were getting their money shot right now.

“When I came to Nashville, I wanted to be a singer because I didn’t know what else to do with my life. I don’t know if I really believed it was possible though until you convinced me you saw something in me.”

Trying to fixate on anything other than her beautiful eyes, his eyes fell to the sparkly diamond on her ring finger. He knew it would take an iron-will to get through his vows and he was determined to tell Cassidy everything that was in his heart.

“You may not realize this, Drake. But you really are a dream maker. Wannabe singers like me come to this city every day, hoping to make a name for themselves and one word of approval from you changes their lives forever because they know that if you believe in them, they have the talent to make their dreams come true.”

Taking a deep breath, knowing she wasn’t finished with her sweet torture, Drake smiled through his tears.

“You made
my
dreams come true,” she whispered. “Not when you told me I was a talented singer, but when you told me you loved me. I believed that if someone like you could fall in love with me, I must be something special.”

Kissing her hands one by one, he said, “You have no idea how special you are, lady.”

The minister smiled before inviting Drake to share his vows with Cassidy.

“In a lot of ways my life ended the day my parents died.” If anything could have made this day more perfect, it would have been having them there to share his wedding day with him, but he knew they were here in spirit, smiling down because their son had finally found his princess. “And it started again the day I met you.”

A tear slipped down Cassidy’s cheek as she squeezed his hands. He knew she was struggling as much as he was. They were private people and putting their love on display wasn’t easy for either one of them, but he wanted Cassidy to have the fairy-tale wedding she deserved.

“The years in between were something of a blur, to tell you the truth. I remember working a lot, but I don’t remember much else. Relationships weren’t even a blip on my radar because I’d already decided I’d never risk loving and losing like that again. But you changed all that. Falling in love with you wasn’t a choice. It was as natural as breathing, and that’s when I knew you were the one…”

“I love you,” she mouthed.

He smiled back at her, marvelling at how she knew exactly what he needed to hear, when he needed to hear it. “The one I wanted to build a new life with. It hasn’t always been for us, Cassidy, but I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. Losing you made me realize that living without you isn’t an option. You’re a part of me, every breath I take, every beat of my heart, my reason for smiling when I have no reason to smile. You make the worst days of my life bearable and the best days of my life better. So, thank you, for agreeing to be my wife, the mother of my children, my everything.”

He was dying to kiss her, to make their union official, but he dutifully waited for the minister to invite them to exchange rings. His was a wide platinum band with a row of diamonds in the middle and he knew this was the one and only piece of jewelry in his collection that would never come off. He wanted the world to know he was Cassidy’s husband, because in spite of all of the accolades he’d earned in his career and the awards he’d won, the title of her husband was the one he was most proud of.

When their lips finally met to a chorus of cheers as the minister pronounced them husband and wife, the only thought going through Drake’s mind was,
Thank God, she’s mine.

***

By the time Drake linked hands with hers and led her away from the guests who were still dancing, drinking, and celebrating, Cassidy was exhausted. She just wanted to slip into bed and make love to her husband, but she didn’t want to be the one to call an end to the festivities.

“Where are you taking me?” Cassidy asked, leaning her head on his shoulder as he led her to the pool house.

“Have you ever been in here?” he asked, nodding toward the small stone building.

“No, Dora said you were just using it for storage.”

“I was, up until six weeks ago.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, stifling a yawn.

“Let me show you,” he said, reaching for the doorknob.

Cassidy stepped into the most beautiful little sanctuary she’d ever seen. There was a small modern kitchen with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances, a single bedroom and bathroom and a spacious living room with an office nook. The space was finished with hardwood floors and slate tile, cinnamon-colored walls and soft suede furniture. The overhead lights bathed the space in a soft glow and Cassidy could see it afforded a lovely view of the lit pool.

“This is beautiful, but why did you do all this?”

“We’re having a baby soon,” he said, touching her stomach. “You’re going to need some help if you plan to continue writing music.”

Cassidy was aware her life was about to change in unimaginable ways and while she was so excited about becoming a mother she was afraid of losing the momentum she’d begun to build with her career. “Drake, I don’t want a stranger raising our baby. He or she is going to be my first priority. I want you to know that.”