New Beginnings (46 page)

“I think she’s going to be fine,” Cassidy said soothingly. “Come on, we’ll drive you to the hospital. I just called my mother, she’s going to try and make it in time, but-”

“I’ll send my plane for her,” Drake said quickly, knowing the odds were slim if she had to drive the distance.

“That’s so sweet of you,” Cassidy said, smiling at him.

“No problem.” Drake grabbed the keys off his desk. He wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in a car with Lee and Cassidy, but they were family, and during times like this, they had to put their differences aside and pull together.

***

Katie squeezed Cassidy’s hand through another contraction. “God, it hurts so bad.”

“I know it does, honey,” Cassidy said, trying not to wince when her knuckle cracked under the pressure.

“Where’s mama? I want her here!” Katie wailed.

“She’ll be here soon,” Cassidy said, glancing at the wall clock. Katie had been in active labour for hours. “Drake just went to pick her up at the airport.”

“Do you think she’ll make it in time? The doctor said I’m eight centimeters already.”

“She’ll make it,” Cassidy said, knowing that’s what her sister needed to hear right now.

“Where the hell is Lee? He went to get those ice chips five minutes ago!” she cried, squeezing Cassidy’s hand as she groaned through another contraction.

“Your mama just got here,” Lee said, throwing the door open. “She’ll be right in.”

Thank God,
Cassidy thought, withdrawing her hand from her sister’s grip to flex it. “I’m gonna go get her, baby. You hang on.”

Elizabeth was standing outside Katie’s door with Drake at her side, looking frazzled. “Is she okay?”

“She’s asking for you,” Cassidy said, hugging her mother. “You go on in.”

“Aren’t you coming?” Liz asked.

“I’m sure the doctor would object to having too many people in the room when she delivers,” Cassidy said, meeting Drake’s eyes. He reached for her hand and she smiled, grateful he was here. “She has you and Lee. She’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Liz said, taking a deep breath before she squared her shoulders and pushed the door open.

Cassidy admired her mother’s effort to be the kind of parent her alcoholism had prevented her from being while they were growing up. It’s like she’d become a different person over the past eight months, getting stronger every day. Not only was she someone Cassidy was proud to call her mother, but she was finding a best friend in her too.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be with Katie when she has the baby?” Drake asked, slipping an arm around Cassidy’s waist as he led her toward the waiting room.

“She doesn’t need me.” Leaning her head on Drake’s shoulders, she said, “She’s really going to need Lee after the baby’s born though. I hope they’re both strong enough for the demands of parenthood. It’s a lot of responsibility.”

“That it is.”

They sat down, side by side, on a pair of upholstered chairs lining the wall, facing Katie’s room. “What if they can’t handle it? What’s going to happen to our niece?”

“We’ll step up,” Drake said, watching a nurse wheel supplies into Katie’s room.

“You’d really do that?” Cassidy asked, realizing just when she thought she couldn’t love or appreciate him more, he gave her yet another reason to be grateful that fate had brought him back into her life.

“Of course I would. She’s family. That’s what family’s do, right?” He smirked. “Besides, I’m used to cleaning up after my brother.”

“What were y’all talking about when I came to your office today?” Cassidy asked, linking her hand with his. Her eyes drifted to the door just as a doctor wearing blue scrubs passed through.
It must be time,
Cassidy thought as she said a little prayer for her sister and niece.

“Lee apologized for what happened. He wanted to know if I could ever forgive him.”

“Can you?” Cassidy asked, holding her breath. She hoped the baby they were about to welcome into the world may be a new beginning for all of them.

“I don’t know.” Looking at their joined hands, he said, “Maybe someday, but not today.”

They were silent a few minutes. There was so much Cassidy wanted say about letting go of the past, but she knew this wasn’t the time or the place. Drake had to get there on his own.

“You think your sister is ready for this?” Drake asked, watching a woman in a bathrobe walking a crying infant up and down the hall as she murmured soothing words to him.

“I think so.” Cassidy smiled when the new mother looked up and caught them watching her. “She’s really excited about the baby. So is Lee.”

“So is Auntie Cassidy judging by the stash of loot I saw tucked away in your walk-in closet.” He grinned. “Your closet is right across from mine, remember? You left your door open. I wasn’t snooping.”

Cassidy giggled just thinking about the frilly treasures she’d found at the baby boutique. “You have to see this stuff, Drake. It’s so adorable.”

He looked at her a long time before he asked. “You think you’ll be ready to be a mama anytime soon?”

She wanted to squirm under his intense scrutiny, but she knew if she did he might get suspicious. “Why do you ask?” Wracking her brain, she tried to remember if she’d left out any tell-tale signs. She didn’t think so, but the way he was looking at her made her wonder if she may have been careless.

“It’s something we used to talk about a lot when we were engaged. You haven’t brought it up lately.”

“We’re not at the same place in our relationship as we were then.” Though she desperately wished they were. More than anything, she wanted her baby to have two loving parents who adored not only them, but each other. But even if a future wasn’t in the cards for her and Drake, she was determined to be the very best mama she could be.

When Drake remained quiet, Cassidy asked, “What about you? How do you feel about having kids someday?” And how would he react when he found out that day was going to come sooner than he thought?

She’d forgotten her pills when they went away one weekend. She didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking him to wear a condom and foolishly miscalculated her cycle, convincing herself the timing wasn’t right for her to get pregnant. She just prayed when she told Drake about the baby, he wouldn’t think she’d planned it to trap him before he felt ready to commit to a future with her.

“I still want kids.”

He hadn’t said,
“I still want us to have kids,”
but before Cassidy could read too much into it, her mother rushed through the door, grinning from ear to ear.

“That was fast.” Cassidy jumped up. “How is she? How’s the baby? Are they alright?”

“Your sister is wonderful and the baby is perfect.” Liz’s eyes landed on Drake when she said, “They’ve decided to name her Hannah Marie Elliott.”

Cassidy witnessed Drake’s reaction, but she didn’t have time to ask him about it before her mother was making her way back into the room, promising to return as soon as the doctor allowed visitors.

“Are you okay?” Cassidy asked, turning to face Drake.

“They named her after my mother,” Drake said, quietly. “Lee and my mama were always so close.” Blinking back his tears, he said, “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Pulling him into her arms, Cassidy said, “Maybe his daughter can fill that void in his heart, honey.” Just the way she hoped their own baby would fill the void Drake’s parents left in his heart.

“I hope so,” he whispered. “For all of their sakes, I really hope so.”

Drake was pacing the dining room, watching out the windows facing the circular driveway as he waited for Cassidy to return home.
Home. 
In the past couple of months, she’d turned his house into a home with subtle changes that made him smile, including framed photographs of the two of them. He could smell her perfume every time he walked into the closet, see her shampoo when he stepped into the shower, hear her laughter greet him at the door when he walked in after a long day, and he knew without those things, he would go back to a life of loneliness and desolation. He didn’t think he could live through that again.

Her career was taking her in an exciting new direction yet again. She and Clint Davis co-wrote a song together and he asked her to sing a duet with him. The song had the magnetic quality Drake had come to recognize as a producer and he knew the song would take her career places she claimed she wasn’t sure she wanted to go. But she would undoubtedly face the challenge the way she faced everything else in her life, fearlessly.

He wanted her dreams to come true and he would do everything in his power to make that happen, even if that took her away from him for a while. But he knew he wasn’t strong enough to let her go until he had the promise she would be coming back this time.

Headlights shone at the end the driveway, marking her arrival, and he took a deep breath, rehearsing what he wanted to say, imagining how he hoped she would respond. They’d been down this road before, but everything was different this time. Back then, she thought she
needed
him. Now she realized she could stand on her own in the knowledge that she was strong and capable. He loved seeing her transformation, but it scared him too because he sensed he needed her more than she would ever need him.

“Hey,” she called, her high heels tapping on the limestone floor as she made her way down the back hallway. “Where are you?”

“In here, baby.” He smiled when he saw her. She looked incredible in black skinny jeans, knee high boots, and a black turtleneck. “How’d it go today?”

She stepped into his waiting arms and laid her head on his shoulder. “Good, but why weren’t you there?”

“I had a few things to take care of.”

Clint was one of his top artists and they were recording the new song in Drake’s studio. He was confident his team could handle it, so he instructed them to make the song the very best it could be. In truth, he had mixed feelings about watching his lover sing the intimate song to another man. He knew it was ridiculous, but Cassidy gave everything she had to the things and people she loved, and he knew the song she co-wrote with the handsome singer would be no exception.

Drake usually epitomized confidence, but after losing Cassidy once and watching her evolve into someone he barely recognized, but loved even more than he ever had before, he was terrified that her new life may take her on a different path, one that led her away from him.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, looking up at him as she ran her hands over his chest. “You seem a little off tonight.”

He felt a little off. Scared, excited, introspective. A part of him wanted to get this over with, but the part that hoped it would turn out exactly as he’d dreamed, wanted to commit every second to memory. “Yeah, I’m okay, angel.” He toyed with the diamond studs he’d given her for her last birthday. She thought they were too big, too much, but he wanted to shower her with trinkets, to convince her she deserved no less than the best.

“Where’s Dora?” she asked, glancing into the empty kitchen across the hall.

The light fixture over the centre island glowed, but other than that, the hub of the large house was eerily quiet tonight.

“I gave her the night off.”

“Oh, okay. Shall I make us some dinner then?” Patting her flat stomach, she laughed self-consciously. “I’m starving.”

“Dora left dinner in the oven for us. Would you like a glass of wine before we eat?” After her battle with prescription drugs, she rarely drank, but he wanted to believe this night would warrant at least a glass of bubbly to celebrate.

For weeks, Drake had been thinking about how he wanted to do this. Where he would take her, what he would say, but in the end, he decided their home would be the best place to have this conversation. He didn’t want her to feel pressured, surrounded by people waiting for her response, nor did he want to risk the humiliation of being publically rejected.

“No, thank you,” she said, her dark eyes drifting to the place settings. There were two lit candles in the center of the table. “It looks like you went to a lot of trouble.”

“You’re worth it.” Wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, he pulled her head to his, closing his eyes as he inhaled the familiar scent of her shampoo. If he screwed this up, pushed her for more than she was ready for, he could risk losing her, and that would destroy him. “God, Cassidy, I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, stroking his face. “What’s with you tonight? Why are you acting so strange?”

He couldn’t tell her he was feeling insecure about their relationship. Everything was going so well in her life. It wouldn’t be fair to burden her with his irrational fears. “I’ve been so happy these past couple of months.” Happier than he’d ever been.

Being with her now was completely different than the last time they’d been planning a life together. She came to him this time as his equal, knowing who she was and what she wanted. She wasn’t afraid to voice her concerns or argue her point, and that made her irresistible, not only to him, but to the men who surrounded her. Drake saw it in his studio, the way other men looked at her when they thought he wasn’t looking, and it gnawed at him, knowing she could walk out of his life at any second without benefit of the kind of commitment he longed for.

Every time he tried talking to her about the future, she smiled and told him they had all the time in the world to make plans. But every day felt like an eternity when the only thing he wanted was to make her his wife.

“I’ve been happy too, Drake.” She smiled. “You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” She had been happy. He knew she wouldn’t have stayed if she wasn’t, but that didn’t mean she was ready to promise him forever one last time. “Sit down, sweetheart,” he said, pulling out a chair. He couldn’t go on like this another minute, making himself crazy second-guessing his decision.

Frowning, she did as he asked. “Are you breaking up with me?” Her face twisted when he didn’t respond right away. “God, you are, aren’t you?”

“No.” He couldn’t help laughing. Given how he was feeling, that suggestion seemed ludicrous. “How can you even think that?”