New Beginnings (83 page)

“What kind of things?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Letting out an exasperated sigh when I didn’t rush to fill in the blanks, she whined, “Come on, you can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

“He asked if I’d ever been tied up, spanked, used toys…” I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe he asked if I used a vibrat—”

Eleni’s eyes widened. “He asked you all that in an email?”

“Yeah. For the first couple months, we just emailed back and forth, sometimes two or three times a day.”

“I still can’t believe you kept this from me!”

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling a fresh wave of guilt. If she’d kept me in the dark about something like that, I would have been hurt too. “He swore me to secrecy. I think he was just testing me, you know, to see if he could trust me.”

“I guess he decided he could since he seems anxious to claim you now that Drew’s history.”

“He won’t be
claiming
me,” I said, not even trying to hide my disgust. “We’re not even in a relationship. Well, at least not officially.”

Eleni snorted. “Does he know that? ‘Cause he seemed pretty territorial when we talked about other guys hitting on you.”

“You talked about that? Why?”

“I think he wants me to put in a good word for him, convince you that you’d be crazy not to submit to his demands for raunchy sex.” She giggled. “Just for the record, I totally think you should do him. Get what you can out of him. Then when you’re tired of it, dump him. It would serve him right for treating all those other girls like trash.”

“You really think I’m experienced enough to play a guy like him?” My insides quivered at the mere suggestion of it. Someone like Deacon Starkis would eat me for breakfast. Hmmm… come to think of it, that sounded tempting.

“I think you’ve already got him hooked. Trust me. I saw the look on his face when he talked about you. The guy’s obsessed.” She seemed to consider that before adding, “But I don’t think he’s obsessed in a sick freak way. I think it’s more of an I’ll-destroy-any-guy-who-tries-to-take-you-away-from-me kind of way.”

I dropped my head into my hands. “Right, there’s nothing sick about that.”

“Oh, come on,” Eleni said, grabbing my knee. “You can’t deny it makes you hot to think about him going all alpha male and threatening some guy for hitting on you. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, sexier than a good-looking rich guy getting possessive about his woman.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I thought we talked about this before, El.
Fifty Shades
was a work of fiction. Christian isn’t real.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” She bit her lip, clearly letting her imagination take her somewhere I didn’t want to go. “Imagine having a guy like Deacon so in love with you that he’d do anything to make you his, anything to protect you or prevent someone else from having you.” She fanned her face. “I get all hot just thinking about it.”

“I really don’t think I should encourage his unhealthy obsession,” I said, trying to be practical. “He’s already told me he can’t stop thinking about me. And the worst part is…” I waited until I had her back from her dream state before I finished. “I can’t stop thinking about him either. The guy’s like a goddamn drug. Once you take one hit, you can’t wait to get your next fix.” Not that I knew anything about drugs, but I assumed that was what it would be like.

“Does that mean you two have—”

“No! I just broke up with Drew yesterday!”

“Oh please, you don’t think that weasel was getting some on the side when you were out working all day?”

My jaw dropped. “You think he was?” Thinking about it turned my stomach.
Ewww
.

What if he had screwed other girls in our bed? Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have put it past him. He better have changed the sheets. If not… oh hell, I didn’t know what I’d do, but I was sure Eleni could help me think of something sinister. Revenge was her strong suit, especially when it came to cheating boyfriends.

She shrugged. “Sure. You give any guy the means and opportunity, and he’ll do it.”

“Nice, El. Real nice.”

I knew she didn’t have a high opinion of the opposite sex, but I preferred to believe there were still some honest, decent, trustworthy guys out there. Or maybe Eleni was right, and I’d been working my ass off so he could do random girls in our apartment…

“Oh, who cares about him? I wanna talk more about Starkis. What are you going to do about him?”

I weighed my options. “For starters, I’m going to go to his office and let him have it for telling you about us before I could and talking to you about my living arrangements. Who the hell does he think he is?” I decided I should have all the facts before I ambushed him. “What did he say about that, by the way?”

“He’s totally on board with us being roommates, but he wants to move you—no, us—into a nicer building.” She looked around her cute bachelorette pad. “It should take me an hour or two to pack. Let’s move tomorrow.”

“Are you crazy?”

Rhetorical question. She was totally crazy, which was part of the reason I loved her.

“I can’t move just because he wants me to. If I do, he’ll think he can bark orders and expect me to obey.”

“Right, ‘cause moving into a swanky apartment on his dime would be sooooo terrible, right?”

“That’s not the point, and you know it. I want to take care of myself. You know what my parents are like.”

She giggled. “Can you imagine the looks on their faces if they found out you were doing some billionaire Dom? Your old man would totally stroke out.”

“Not funny,” I said, glaring at her. I got a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I knew it had nothing to do with confronting Deacon. “You don’t really think he’s a Dom, do you?”

Eleni shrugged. “If he’s not, he’s definitely into rough sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I am too. He likes being in charge in the bedroom. Guys like that never relinquish control unless they’re on the verge...” She laughed as she slapped my thigh. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you let me watch him lose it just once.” She folded her hands under her chin. “Please? Please? Pretty please?”

I tossed a bright orange throw cushion at her, hitting her upside the head. “I think you’re the sick freak.”

***

I barged into Deacon’s office at eight o’clock that evening. Since his silver Lamborghini was one of the few cars left in the parking lot, I wasn’t too concerned about interrupting a meeting.

He looked up from his computer when I stormed in, and a smile quickly replaced his scowl. “They let you in without clearance?”

I plopped down in the seat across from him, trying not to notice how tempting he looked with his sleeves rolled up and no tie on. “The receptionist who usually guards your castle left for the day, and the security guard at the front desk has a crush on me, so he didn’t ask any questions.”

He frowned. “Which security guard is that?”

I spotted a stress ball on the corner of his desk. I doubted he used it; it looked like a promo item Alabaster’s gave away. I whipped it at his chest. “You’re not serious.”

He laughed, catching the ball before it hit him. “You have a pretty good arm.”

“Shut up, Deacon!” The nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me I was talking to my boss, but I told her to mind her own goddamn business and go back to sleep. “I’m pissed at you.”

He leaned back, kicking his feet up on the desk as he tossed the ball from one hand to the other and squeezed it. “Do tell.”

“You told Eleni about us.”

“So?”

“So you had no right to do that!”

He seemed totally unfazed by my anger, which only incensed me further.

“She’s my friend. I should have been the one to tell her, when—or if—I decided there was anything worth telling her.”
That got his attention.

When he pinned me with that hot gaze, I feared he would demand I bend over the desk and take my punishment like a brave girl.

“I asked you not to tell anyone, including Eleni. You didn’t, and I appreciate that. Now that you’re single, I’ve decided it’s time your best friend know about our… relationship.”

The way he said relationship made me feel as though he had been seeking a different word but come up short. Arrangement, perhaps? Was that what this was to him?

Not willing to let him have the last word, I said, “We’re not in a relationship. We’re still getting to know each other. If I like what I see, I
might
agree to date you, though not exclusively. I’ve been tied down too long to get serious again so soon.” I swallowed, averting my eyes when the thin skin across his knuckles turned white from the pressure he was inflicting on the ball.

“Let me get this straight. You
might
agree to date me—though not exclusively?”

I was almost afraid to push him further, but if I backed down, that would set a precedent for all future arguments. “That’s right. If you have a problem with that, we can part ways now and—”

He planted his feet on the floor and made his way around the desk slowly, like a panther preparing to devour its prey. He gripped the armrests of my chair, his face a fraction of an inch from mine. I held my breath—waiting, praying, and trying to predict what he might do next.

Pushing him had been a very bad idea.

“You really think that’s an option?” he whispered.

I tried to be brave, hoping he couldn’t see the fear in my eyes. I felt I knew him, but according to Eleni’s model friends, he had a private side I had yet to see. I wasn’t so sure I was ready to stir the beast tonight… or any night.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Mia.”

I forced myself to tip my head back and look him in the eye, but his close proximity meant his lips were hovering over mine.

“You may consider dating me, but you intend to date other men as well. Is that what you’re telling me?”

It had seemed perfectly reasonable when I’d proposed it. I had been in a serious relationship forever, and I would have been reckless to engage in another without taking the appropriate amount of time to analyze what had gone wrong with Drew. But the way Deacon glared at me made it seem as if I’d suggested skinning his cat.

“Answer me,” he said.

I tightened my grip on my armrests, trying to steel my courage. I knew he was used to people kowtowing to him, but I wouldn’t be one of his cronies. “Generally relationships evolve slowly, often starting as friendships. Is that such a far-fetched idea?”

“That depends.” He seemed to consider his next words carefully. “I’m not interested in forcing you into something before you’re ready. That would never work, but I’m not entering into this impulsively. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now.”

The way he said “this” made me tremble, perhaps because when he said it, he lowered his head to the crook of my neck and whispered in my ear. I had no doubt he was referring to an intimate relationship, and while the prospect of being with a man like him thrilled me, it also terrified me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

He wedged his leg between mine, planting his knee between my thighs. “What’s wrong, Mia? You’re so quiet.”

His hands landed on the back of my chair, behind my head, and seriously limited my escape options. I was caged in, but instead of feeling anxious, I was aroused.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Talk to me about your dating prospects. What kind of man are you looking for?”

You.
Of course, I couldn’t say that. It would only feed his already enormous ego and make it seem as though I was wavering already. “Someone who listens to me.”

“Hmmm…” He skimmed his mouth across my neck, and an involuntary gasp burst from my lips. “Ask me anything—anything you’ve shared with me. I guarantee I’ll remember.”

“What’s my favorite flavor of ice cream?” I asked, deciding the best way to gain the upper hand was to prove him a liar.

“Peanut butter chocolate.”

Damn, that had been too easy. “My shoe size?”

“Seven.” His tongue flicked out, tracing the outer shell of my ear.

I felt moisture pool between my legs. “What does my father do?”

He chuckled as he reared back to look into my eyes. “You really think I could forget that?”

“No, I guess not,” I said, blushing.

“If you’re looking for an attentive man, you’ve found him.”

With his knee between my legs and his deep voice skating over my nerve endings, I opened my legs wider, releasing my grip on the chair.

“You’ve captured my interest.
Exclusively
. When I’m with you, you have my undivided attention. When you tell me something, I will remember. I can promise you that.”

I supposed that was his way of letting me know he had no reservations about being in a monogamous relationship with me. Assuming he knew the meaning of the word. “You talk a good game, Deacon. But actions speak louder than words. I’d rather reserve judgment until you’ve proven yourself to me.”

“Proven myself to you?” He looked amused by my choice of words. I was sure he wasn’t often expected to prove anything to anyone. “How would you like me to do that?”

“Explain to me how you see this playing out.”

He stunned me by capturing my face before I could take my next breath. His lips were warm, and his breath tasted faintly of the abandoned cappuccino on his desk. His tongue swept inside my mouth without hesitation or permission. He didn’t wait for me to respond or acquiesce. He simply took what he wanted and made me want it too. Within seconds, I had wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my hands through his cropped dark hair. I moaned into his mouth as he deepened the erotic kiss. Passionate didn’t begin to describe it; it was all-consuming.

“Stand up,” he said, his breathing sounding much more even than mine.

I stood, knowing it wasn’t a request. His words were a demand, and given the dangerous gleam in his eye, I didn’t dare cross him.

“You asked me how I see this playing out.” He circled me, his hand skimming the backs of my upper thighs.

I was wearing my favorite pair of faded denim cut-offs, a bright pink tank top, and flat silver sandals. I hadn’t had a change of clothes at Eleni’s, and I hadn’t wanted him to think I felt the need to primp to see him. I wouldn’t be his Barbie doll outside of work. Either he’d like me for me or not at all.