New Leaves, No Strings (24 page)

‘You don’t. We agreed on you paying
for lunch and me for the food.’

‘But I got so much more out of the
deal,’ I protested.

‘Trust me. I got more so much more
out of the deal,’ he replied as he brushed my cheek with his fingers and kissed
my forehead. ‘See you later?’

I nodded and smiled and watched him
go down the stairs, surprised to feel disappointed that he hadn’t kissed me
properly. God this was so confusing, I wanted him, then I didn’t want him, now
I wanted him again. I closed the door and tried to tiptoe back to my room
before Lexi collared me, but she was standing in the kitchen doorway with her
arms folded.

‘Spill. Now,’ she demanded.

‘O Lexi do we have to, I’m sorry I
was shitty, I just had a moment, I’m over it.’

‘You’re so not over it, it’s going
to keep happening the longer you’re with him Mia and I’ll kill you if you tell
him this, but I kind of like the guy.’

‘That’s a first.’

‘Hey, I may never have liked any of
the other guys, but if you’re really honest with yourself you didn’t either did
you?’

‘I guess not. I heard you both
talking about me in the kitchen.’

‘You were eavesdropping?’

‘Not all of it, but enough to know
that I’m lucky to have you as a best friend.’

‘Mia, his feelings for you are
genuine. I pushed him to test for cracks in his perfect bloody armour and I can
sniff out a bull shitter at a thousand paces. You’ve got to decide now if you’re
going to let him love you. If not end it now, before he gets in even deeper and
you stamp all over the poor guys heart.’

‘It’s just way too soon Lexi,
things are moving so quickly I’m scared. This was supposed to just be about sex
and now he’s declaring he loves me?’

‘Whatever, you really seem to connect
with each other Mia. Do you know how rare that is? Are you going to push him
away because he likes you too much? Or will you do it because you like him too
much?’

‘I don’t know Lex, I’m so confused,’
I groaned.

‘Mia he just wants to love you and you’re
what? Going to keep letting him down by shutting him out? If you do that then
it’s like you and your dad reversed, this time you’re the one dishing out the
disappointment and breaking someone else’s heart. Knowing how that makes you
feel, can you really do that to someone else?’

‘Wow, you’re so insightful when you’re
mad.’

‘I know right? Sometimes I even shock
myself. On this occasion though I also think I’m right.’

‘I do too. I think I need some help
Lex, professional help.’

‘Well I think I do too. I don’t
want spend the rest of my life having one night stands. The way he looked at
you last night in the lounge as you feel asleep in his arms, it made me all
warm and fuzzy inside. I want someone to look at me like that, to be that
concerned about me.’

‘O Lex, warm and fuzzy? You poor
thing.’ I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her
tightly.

‘Ok you sarcastic bugger. I’ve got
as emotional as I’m going to get for a Monday, this has all been way too much
before 9 a.m.’ she exclaimed as she untangled herself from my embrace. ‘Get a
shift on or we’ll miss that bus.’

We caught the 8.18, punctual as
ever and arrived at the campus gates a little over twenty minutes later. The
history lecture really dragged, I doodled with my pen as I thought how much had
happened in the last week. It
was
insane, no wonder I felt so tired and
on edge.

We spent our lunch break in the
cafeteria as it was too chilly to sit outside.

‘Lex?’

‘Yes,’ she replied without looking
up from her game of candy crush.

‘I was serious about needing to get
some professional help.’

She put her phone down and looked
at me. ‘So what a Psychiatrist or something? That’s some serious bucks.’

‘No, I was thinking that they must
have a counselling team, or access to one, for the students. Maybe that could
be a starting point?’

‘Ok no time like the present let’s
go and check it out.’

‘Wow what’s the rush?’ I asked,
taken aback.

‘We need to sort our shit out,
especially you, if you want to have a decent shot at this thing with Gabe.’

‘I just thought we’d maybe discuss
it and look into it over the coming weeks.’

‘Why wait, it’s not going to be any
less scary for either of us the longer we put it off.’ She stood up and grabbed
her bags. ‘Come on then we have about another 40 minutes before English starts
to go and find out.’

We made our way down to student
services and were told that there were group sessions available for free, or
weekly one to one sessions for a small charge.

‘I’m not doing any group huggie
feelie shit Mia,’ announced Lexi firmly. The staff member smiled as I mouthed ‘
Sorry’
to her.

‘If we were to do the one to one
sessions, do you have more than one counsellor? Could we have the same time
slot?’ I asked.

‘Yes, are there any times of the
day that you think are more suitable?’

‘Don’t look at me,’ said Lexi ‘She’s
the organised one.’

I pulled out our class schedule
that I’d typed up for both of us. I carried mine, but I’d put Lexi’s on the back
of her bedroom door so she’d see it each morning. She was a bugger for losing
things. ‘Do you do any late afternoon or early evening ones?’ I asked.

‘Yes we do.’

‘That means we have to hang around Mia,
why don’t we have them during one of the numerous free mornings we have.’

‘Because I’m not sure I’ll be in
the mood to concentrate on lectures after an hour of being grilled Lexi.’

The lady ran through how it would
work, gave us a leaflet and booked us both in for our initial individual
sessions at 6 p.m. that coming Wednesday.

‘Thank you,’ I said as I tucked the
leaflet in my bag, I’d read that later. I grabbed one for Lexi as well. ‘We
better made a move.’

‘What have we let ourselves in for?’
Lexi asked as we started off down the maze of corridors back to the English
hall.

‘Well we’ll soon find out. If it’s
no help we stop coming. Listen, let’s agree that neither of us is to pressure
the other into coming again if we’re not happy and we don’t even have to talk
about anything that we discuss in private if we don’t want to.’

‘We talk about everything already.’

‘I know, but maybe this will be
different, I’m just saying no pressure on either of us. It’s going to be hard
enough as it is and can we try and keep the fact that we’re going between us?’

‘I’m no blabber mouth thanks,’ she
responded, looking slightly insulted.

‘I know, but no inadvertent
comments like we can’t go out tonight we have therapy.’

‘Then we need an excuse if anyone
asks where we’re going, we’re both crap liars.’

‘Ok, like what?’

‘What about an exercise class. You
wanted to find somewhere that does Pilates around here, so we could have a fictitious
session on a Wednesday.’

‘Yeah, I really need to look into
that for real. I’ve got to limber up if I want to keep up with Gabe.’

‘I’ve got to look into new
tracksuit bottoms and wall soundproofing,’ she grinned as she bumped my
shoulder. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out it and saw it was a
message from him. I smiled when I realised I was happy about it.

Your arse looks amazing
in those jeans. Did you know that you wiggle it very sexily when you walk?

I turned around to see him walking
behind me grinning, shit I hope he hadn’t been there for long, he was the last
person I wanted to know that I needed bloody therapy. He was still wearing his
black jeans and hi tops from this morning, but had changed into a pink shirt
with a white collar and cuffs.

‘God you smell amazing,’ he sighed
as he kissed my cheek.

‘You too. What are you wearing?’

‘Ted Lapidus.’

‘Never heard of it.’

‘Nor me, my dad picked it up at the
airport last week. You like it then?’

‘Yes, come here and let me smell it
again, god I’ve gone all weak at the knees.’

‘And I’ve gone all queasy in the
stomach, you’re like a couple of dogs on heat sniffing each other’s arses,’
interrupted Lexi. I punched her on the shoulder ‘Owwww,’ she retorted.

As we approached the doors to
English, a tall, dark haired, well-built guy came running towards us. He had
one of those cameras with the huge lenses around his neck.

‘Dude, where were you yesterday?’
he asked Gabe.

‘Sorry something came up.’

‘I thought I better give you the
heads up. Davies is
seriously
pissed at you, he says he left you a few
messages and you never got back to him.’

‘He’ll get over it,’ shrugged Gabe
as Lexi and I watched wondering what was going on.

‘I’ve never known you to miss training
and you didn’t even pick me up this morning for the gym. I was waiting for you
for like half an hour. Everything ok?’

‘Shit sorry Doug, something came
up, I should’ve let you know.’

So this was Doug, Gabe’s best
friend. I studied him with interest as he spoke.

‘Julie’s pretty upset dude, she
spent most of training crying on everyone telling them that you’d finished with
her on Wednesday and were mean to her on Friday when she tried to talk to you
about it. She’s saying she’s heartbroken, you were the love of her life blah
blah blah. About bloody time I say I never liked her.’

‘Doug, is this a discussion we can
have later?’ Gabe replied looking uneasily at me.

‘Shit sorry mate, this is Mia isn’t
it?’ Doug said slapping his forehead as he looked at me too.

‘O no please Doug, don’t mind us,’
interjected Lexi. ‘Just how upset is Julie? Where would you say she is on a
scale of, I’ll always love him and hold a special place for him in my heart,
but I want him to be happy. To the opposite end being I hate the bastard for
what he’s done to me, he ripped out my still beating heart and I’m going to
kill this Mia chick he’s left me for?’

‘Lexi,’ I said looking at her in
horror.

‘What? It seems pretty damn
important to know whether she’s cool or is going to turn all bunny boiler on
you.’

‘Doug, meet Lexi. She’s best
friends with Mia who I’d like to formally introduce you to,’ said Gabe.

I felt his fingers lightly brush
against mine and I wondered if he was asking for permission to hold my hand in
front of his best friend. It was the least I could do after my behaviour this
morning, so I opened my fingers and looked down for his hand. I smiled as he
put his fingers between mine and clenched tightly. I felt that familiar surge
of energy that happened whenever we touched. I was startled by a flashlight
going off in my face.

‘Doug, I keep telling you not to take
pictures like that, it pisses people off,’ Gabe said as he smiled a thank you
at me.

‘Shit, sorry. Sorry about the Julie
comments Mia, but knowing Gabe he’ll have been upfront about her from the
start. Anyway it’s been a long time coming that break up and christ all he’s
done is go on and on about you since he first clapped eyes on you. Doug you
need to come and see this brunette chick I’ve spotted. Doug I’ve fallen for
her, she’s so pretty, she’s so hot, she’s got an amazing smile, amazing eyes,
amazing body, amazing hair. Doug I’ve spoken to her she’s so witty, it’s like we
just connect. He’s been like a big wet bloody girl since he met you.’

Lexi started chuckling as I went a
deep shade of scarlet and Gabe looked at me horrified.

‘God I’m so sorry Mia. Meet my
moronic best friend Doug who never remembers that things were told to him in
confidence and therefore sticks his foot in it on a regular basis. I’m sure
there’s more he can say to embarrass me further and make you feel even more even
uncomfortable. So come on Doug what else?’

Doug looked suitably chastised.

‘Hi Doug,’ I smiled.

‘Wow you’re right Gabe, she does
have an amazing smile, I’d better not comment on the rest of the list as I’m in
enough trouble already,’ he winked at me. ‘Right later then dude, see you at
six,’ he nodded at Gabe. He looked Lexi up and down then took her picture too. ‘Feisty
and foxy, I like you,’ he said as he walked off. Lexi looked remarkably taken
aback.

‘I’m so sorry Mia, Doug’s really not
known for his tact,’ said Gabe looking at my nervously.

‘Well I’ve never seen Lexi lost for
words, or your confident exterior so entirely shattered, so I like him already.
Feisty and foxy, summed you up in two words Lex,’ I laughed as she scowled at
me.

‘I’ll see you inside,’ she said as
she disappeared.

‘God Mia I’m so sorry about what
Doug said …’

‘Don’t worry about it.’