Newly Exposed (42 page)

A tear ran down my face as I thought about giving the last shred of my heart over to Solo one last time. I didn’t think could do it. I was already so shredded, so naked that I didn’t think I was strong enough to face her.
 

“You can do it, baby,” my mom encouraged. “You love her; fight the battle.”

Nodding my head, I rested on her lap again and let her run her fingers through my hair until we both fell asleep, completely exhausted and emotionally spent.
 

Chapter Thirty Three

Solo

“Are you going to not talk to me for the rest of your life?” Scout asked, as he took off his robe and held out his hands for me to rub oil on him. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Solo. Fuck, I feel so bad.”

“I know,” I sighed, as I squirted baby oil in my hands and started lubing him up. “I don’t blame you; I blame myself. I never should have listened to you in the first place.”

“Gee, thanks,” he chuckled.

“Do you blame me?” I eyed him and he shook his head, making us both laugh.
 

“Do you know how he’s doing?”

I shook my head no. “I haven’t seen or heard from him in a week. The only thing I know is that I cancelled his shoots with Zia for this week and the next.”

My heart seized in my chest as I thought about not hearing from him, not that I expected to hear from him, but there was still a little hope that I would possibly see him. There was hope that maybe, just maybe, he would be able to forgive me, but after a week of complete silence, I knew it was over.
 

Being the lucky girl that I was, my dads spent the last couple of nights with me, soothing my aching soul and trying to cheer me up, but I knew the only thing that would cheer me up would be to see that lonesome dimple smiling down at me.
 

“I’m sorry, Solo,”

I shook my head and cleared my throat. “It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” I finished up wiping down his body and said, “How the hell did you book this photo shoot? I didn’t know you were into the whole greased up look.”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “There is a whole new fan base of women who love tatted men. The book cover I’m posing for is about a motorcycle club. They just want a torso shot, but that’s my best feature.” He leaned forward while wiggling his eyebrows and said, “I’ve been doing my Facebook stalking, and apparently, there’s this new fad with the romance novel community of voting for men of the month. I’m hoping to get my name in the mix with some of these shots.”

“Fingers crossed,” I said sarcastically.
 

“Don’t tease me,” he said, while lightly pushing my shoulder. “This is my livelihood.”

“And I’m very much grateful for brave men like you who have the courage to shred your clothes to keep us ladies satisfied at night.”

“Yeah, it does,” Scout said, while nodding his head and biting his bottom lip.
 

“You’re disgusting,” I laughed, and turned to see Nolly walking up to us with a bit of a limp.
 

“You okay, doll?” Scout asked, eyeing Nolly up and down.
 

She nodded and gripped her back as she said, “Yeah, I’m just tired. Blaze has me doing four AM workouts and then weights at night. I wasn’t expecting to be working out so hard. Plus, I think I’ve only eaten an apple today.”

Scout’s forehead creased as he looked at Nolly with concern. “What are you talking about?”

“Blaze thinks she needs to lose weight,” I answered for Nolly, who scowled at me.
 

“He thinks I need to tighten up a little.”

The rage pouring off of Scout was quite visible as he said, “Are you fucking kidding me? And you’re listening to him?”

“This is none of your concern, Scout,” Nolly shut him down and walked away.
 

With flared nostrils and the vengeance to kill, Scout turned toward me and said, “I’m going to fucking kill him. He seriously thinks Nolly needs to tighten up? She’s goddamn perfect.”

“I know,” I said, patting his shoulder. “But there is no convincing her otherwise. She’s set on losing weight.”

“She can’t lose weight,” Scout said with distress lacing his voice. “She’s so damn perfect.”

My heart reached out to Scout. He was clearly in love with the girl, but Nolly would never give him a chance. He wasn’t her type. She went for douche assholes, not kind and caring men. No one could change her but herself, and right now, she was set on staying with Blaze. Worst decision of her life.
 

“Scout, I’m ready for you,” Zia called out.
 

I patted Scout on the shoulder and said, “Drop it for now and rock your shoot. Flex those abs.” I tried to pretend to flex mine, which made him laugh.
 

“Thanks, Solo, for being so cool.”

I gave him a half smile and pushed him on his way.
 

I sat in a director’s chair and watched as Nolly flashed a light shield toward Scout’s abs, making every contour and muscle stand out, while Zia moved around him and started flashing her camera. With slight movements, Scout moved around, showing off his colorful tattoos while his eyes lusted after Nolly, who was completely oblivious to his feelings.
 

The pictures that Zia was taking showed up on a monitor next to me, giving me a great display of both Scout’s and Zia’s talent. She really knew how to pick her models, because after a few shots, I could have told her she was done, given how good the pictures were, but she would never stop after a couple of shots; she was a professional and made sure to get every angle she could.
 

Lost in the pictures, I didn’t feel the warm presence walk up behind me until his deep voice rang through my ears.
 

“Hi, Solo.”

My breath caught in my chest as I spun around to find Adam wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and a faded shirt that had a picture Darth Vader on roller blades on it. His hair was styled and he was looking so damn sexy that I almost couldn’t stand to be near him because it hurt too damn much.
 

“Hi,” I said meekly, trying not to cry on the spot from his presence.
 

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Looking over at the photo shoot and knowing they had everything under control, I nodded my head and let him lead me out to the garden area, where we had some privacy.
 

We both sat down on a bench that was right next to a small fountain. The white noise of the water flowing over small rocks did nothing to ease the knot that was forming in my chest from being so close to him again.
 

Shyly, I looked up into his eyes to see what he wanted, and a little piece of my heart was glued back in place from the softness I saw in his face.
 

Breaking the silence, I asked, “How’s your mom?”

“Good, it’s going to be a long road to recovery, but her body is taking well to her new heart. The doctors feel very positive about her chances.”

“That’s great to hear.”

I wanted to hug him, kiss him, fucking throw my body at his from the news, but I refrained and just gave him a smile instead.
 

We sat there in silence like two awkward teenagers on a first date, racking our brains for something say, but nothing was coming to mind. It was almost embarrassing and sad how uncomfortable we were around each other, and I had no one to blame but myself.
 

Finally clearing his throat, Adam said, “Um, I came by to see how you were doing.”

“Me?” I asked, with almost too much shock in my voice.
 

He nodded and said, “I was very rude to you in the hospital. I was going through a lot at the time and wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

Oh, he just wanted to apologize for being rude? My soul sank to the floor as I realized that he wasn’t really here to make up with me, more to save face. I could understand that. He was a sweet man who had a heart of gold, of course he would apologize for his actions in the hospital. I shouldn’t expect anything less.
 

“Adam, you don’t need to apologize. I deserved everything you said.”

“No one deserves to be talked to like that,” he admitted.
 

I cleared my throat and said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”

He nodded his head and looked down at his hands. It felt like he wanted to say something else, like he wanted to reach out to me, so I was about to apologize once again to maybe help him out, but instead, he stood up from the bench and started to walk away, leaving me to fall into a dark place.
 

I watched his backside retreat away from me, and slowly, darkness started to close in around me from knowing that we were truly over. If he was ever going to forgive me, this would be the time, but without a retreating glance back, he walked back into the studio.
 

Tears started to fall from my face, and I hated that I was crying again. I didn’t want to cry any more, but that was what Adam did to me, he turned me into a crumbling mess. He completely melted me into an emotional puddle, and there was no chance of recovery, not after knowing what I could have had.
 

“Don’t cry,” his voice came from the doorway as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please, don’t cry.”

I quickly wiped away my tears as he started to walk toward me, but then paused as if he was struggling with himself. He ran both of his hands through his hair, slightly breaking up his fauxhawk.
 

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself, as he turned toward me and sat back down on the bench.
 

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I’m so fucking in love with you, Solo, but fuck, I’m so mad at you.”

My heart beat rapidly against my chest from his words. He still loved me? I couldn’t believe it. He still loved me, after everything I put him through. I didn’t deserve his love, but fuck if I wasn’t going to take it.
 

“I’m sorry, Adam,” I blurted out, not letting go of this small window he granted me of mending our broken hearts. “I’m so sorry. If I could take back everything, I would. If I could go back in time and give myself the courage it takes to be with a man like you, then I would. If I could slap myself in the face and open my eyes to see the blatant display of love you’ve given me, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t take any of that back; all I can do is move forward and tell you that ever since you walked into my life, you’ve flipped my world upside down, and there is no one else I want holding me at night, making love to me, and talking nerdy to me.”

A slight smirk spread across his face as he nodded his head, giving me hope, so much fucking hope.
 

“Call me crazy,” he said, as he took my hand in his, “but for the life of me, I can’t seem to shake you out of my system. I wanted to hurt you, to just fuck it and forget every moment I ever shared with you, but it was impossible, Solo. You’ve latched yourself onto my heart, onto my soul, and there is no way I could ever let you go, ever.”

Tears streamed down my face as he laced his free hand behind my neck and pulled me to his lips. Lightly, he kissed me across the mouth, and then rested his forehead against mine, looking me in the eyes. I felt like I was going to burst from the pure joy running through my veins from having Adam hold me, love me.
 

“I can’t promise you that life with me is going to be easy, Solo, that there aren’t going to be women throwing themselves at me, but I can promise you this, you’re the only one that has ever held my heart, and with everything in me, I trust you with it. I’m fighting for you, for us, Solo. I want us.”

“I want us too,” I cried, not being able to contain my emotions.
 

He pulled me onto his lap and I straddled his legs as his hands went to my hips. He looked me up and down and said, “I can’t lose this again, Solo. I can’t lose you again. It hurts too damn much. Please promise me you will talk to me…that you’ll trust me with your heart and know that the only damn person I’ve ever wanted is you.”

I nodded and pressed my lips gently against his. “I trust you, Adam. I can’t be without you anymore. This past week, I’ve felt like I wasn’t really living, just walking through the motions of life. My life lacked color, but the moment I met you, I knew what love really was. You brightened my life and made me see what a true soul mate is. I’m not letting go of you, Adam. You’re mine.”

My thumbs rubbed his cheeks as his eyes spoke to me, conveying how much he really loved me.
 

“You’re so fucking mine,” he said. “I’m locked in, you’re mine forever, muffin.”

A smile spread across my face from his pet name that I craved now, and in that moment, I knew that I would forever be happy as long as I was in Adam’s arms…as long as our souls were latched together.
 

Epilogue

Adam

“Can you stop asking questions?” I said to a blindfolded Solo, who held her arms out while I walked her around the side of the pool.
 

“I’m sorry, but you’ve blindfolded me and are walking me around the pool outside. Sorry if I’m a bit inquisitive.”