Nice Girl (19 page)

“That was a fucking I needed.  Now I know why I prefer the young ones.”

Vinnie whispered to me.  “Go wait for me outside.  I’ll get your keys.”

My rubbery legs found a way to get me down the hall and out the front door.  I leaned against the A and V front window to help me stand up.  I wasn’t sure if I was shaking because Vinnie caught me seeing such an explicit act.  Or was I still trembling at the thought that it might have been him fucking Veronica?   

I heard the front door open.  Vinnie jingled my keys.  “Good timing, Grace.” He smiled as if to lighten the mood.

“Sorry.  It’s hard to judge when Anthony is going to treat his office as his bedroom.”  I grumbled.

“Yes, my best friend has some issues.” 

“Issues?  That’s a kind word.  Well, thanks again Vinnie.”  And I started to turn away.

“Wait, Grace.  I’ll walk you home.  Somehow I think I’m not needed in that meeting anymore.”

I shrugged my head like I could care less. 

“You do know that woman wanted you.  Don’t you Vinnie?”

“She wanted anything with a dick.”  He answered angrily and then his voice immediately softened. “Sorry Grace.  I didn’t mean to be so crude.”

“After what I just witnessed, I hardly think you’re being shocking.”

“You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“Is that why you’re walking me home?  Because you’re afraid I’m traumatized by what I just saw?”  I was getting kind of crabby.  He was just being nice.  I really should stop the attitude.   

“I’m extremely angry that you had to see Anthony behaving like that.  I can see how upset you were.  You were shaking Grace!”

“It was just the initial shock.  You know Vinnie, it’s not like I’m a virgin.”

  Did I just say that?

I was trying to be snappy.  I wanted him to know I wasn’t as innocent and sweet as he thought.  I had done
some
stuff.

He looked angry and then I immediately felt bad for baiting him.  “Grace” he said in a voice that sounded like he was trying to control it.  “I’m not referring to the situation as if you were a child.  Anthony crossed the line.  We have a full staff now.  He has to control his urges.  No one should have to see that in our place of business.”

“Please don’t argue with him because of me.  He really is a great guy ninety five percent of the time.  Just tell him to close the door.” 

“Just close the door, huh?”  He snorted in disgust.

“Jamie said.”   Then I quickly stopped myself.  I never wanted either Anthony or Vinnie to know about some of the conversations we’ve had discussing them.  They both were Jamie’s boss too.

“What did Jamie say?”

“Never mind.  I don’t know why I just said that.”

“Grace, Jamie is a valued employee.  I know he confides in you.  I really would like to know.”

“You promise you won’t be mad?”

“Well, I’m always mad.  That can’t be helped.”  He snickered but then quickly got serious again.  “I’ve grown up with a certain element of people.  Meeting Jamie and you have opened my eyes to a different life.  You know, one with normal people.  I would really like to know what you both think about me and Anthony.”

Well there is no way I can tell him what I think about him.  Or should I say dream about him.

“Jamie gets a sense that Anthony likes the idea that he might get caught.   He called him an exhibitionist.”

“Hmm.”  Vinnie seemed to ponder this.  We’d stopped walking because we reached my dorm.  I was desperately trying to judge his reaction.  He then surprised me and said.  “Well I would say that assessment isn’t too far off.  How does Jamie analyze me?”

Just then I knew a look of horror must have crossed my face.  Thoughts of those huge muscular arms shoving a woman to her knees so that her mouth could suck him off just then crossed my mind.  The coldness.  The act itself totally void of emotion.  It was a part of Vinnie I didn’t like to think about. 

He picked up on my panic.  “That bad, huh?”

When I turned up to look at his face, I thought I’d see his familiar scowl.  Instead it was an expression of sorrow.   At that moment, I couldn’t stand to see him think that we thought the worst of him.

“No, Vinnie.  Jamie thinks the world of you.  I do too.”  I wanted to touch him so desperately.  I couldn’t even put my hand on his arm.  Why was I so afraid to reach out to him like that? 

“You know, Grace.  I practically grew up in a whore house.  Some of the things I saw.  Well it kind of messes with your head you know?”

That’s it.  I just had to have physical contact.  I grabbed his hands.  I had a moment where I was afraid he would pull away.  Instead, he squeezed my hands tighter.

“Don’t feel sorry for me.”  He practically whispered.  I pulled myself in closer. 

“A flower for your lady?”  A voice interrupted.  It was a plump African American woman.  She was dressed like the picture of Aunt Jemima on a syrup bottle.  I had seen her before walking around the streets that surround our campus.  She sells roses in several different colors.  Whenever I passed her, she had a warm smile.

Vinnie looked at her then glanced down at our hands intertwined.  “Yes, I think she deserves a rose after the day she had today.”  He let go of my hand and I immediately missed his touch.  He reached in his wallet.

“Vinnie stop!  You don’t have to buy me a rose.” 

“But I want to.”  And he grinned at me.  That damn sexy smile.   Aunt Jemima even giggled.

I wondered what color he would choose.  She had several shades to pick from.  Would he ask me to choose?  Should I then pick red or is that too assuming? 

Obsessing over the color of the rose?  Jeez, can strong confident woman be more pitiful?

Vinnie paid Aunt Jemima and then she just had to say to him “You choose.  The color reflects what you feel inside.”

He then chose a pink rose.

“Aaah”  said Aunt Jemima.  “Exactly what I would have picked.”  And she walked off.

“Thank you Vinnie” I said with a little embarrassment “No one has ever bought me a rose.”

“Really?  Now that surprises me.  Well if it makes you feel any better, I have never bought a rose for anyone before.”

“Thanks again, Vinnie
.
”  I felt emotional.  I had to get up to my room.

“Good night Grace.” 

I rushed up to my room, clutching my rose, hoping not to make eye contact with anyone.  I was going to lose it. 

I sat outside my window looking out at the park below.   I always felt lucky that right outside my window was a view of a small park.  Even with the lack of green space available in New York City, the college sectioned off a peaceful grassy area.  At times, it put me in a calm serene mood to sit in that park and relax.  At this moment, I needed to steady my emotions.   I put the rose up to my nose and breathed the distinctive aroma of a flower in bloom.  I closed my eyes and fought off needless tears.  What I fantasized about would never be a reality.

He didn’t choose red.  That was the color for love, romance, lust.

Instead he chose pink.    The color for a sweet young girl.  The color of innocence.  Like a brother would buy his sister.

I had to stop wishing that I was something more to him than I knew I was.

Chapter 19

I was up late into the night web chatting with Dee, Janie, and Eve.  They were flabbergasted at the story of Anthony and Veronica Harris-Kessel.  They literally grilled me on every detail.

We were supposed to be discussing Eve’s progress with the sexy tribal police officer.  He was now pursing her openly.  I was excited for her.  He sounded like a dream.  I had this premonition she was going to win the orgasm pact.

Emotionally, Janie was doing much better.  She had been taking self defense classes at, of all places, a local boxing gym.  Of course Dee’s first reaction was to ask if the place was full of hot buff guys.  The night of the self defense classes at the gym was a women’s only night.  Janie pointed out that the group was specially formed for women that have been attacked.  No one wanted to be around a bunch of alpha males when their emotions were so fragile. 

It was difficult to hear Janie talk about these women she has become so close to.  It’s not that I was jealous that she was making new friends.  All four of us were in different states and would make new friendships.  I knew it would never replace our relationships.  I hated hearing Janie talk about these women because it was a reminder of why they were connected.  They all had been victims of sexual assault.  It still broke my heart that Janie was a survivor of that.

Dee was a crazy woman whenever we web chatted.  Law school was brutal.  She, who came up with the idea of the orgasm pact, had no time to date.  The stress and pressure was getting to her.  If anyone was going to have a one night stand very soon, it was Dee.  She was mesmerized by the story of Anthony.

“Grace, I hate to tell you this, but your boss, Anthony, is totally into the whole BDSM scene.”  Says Dee with a little too much excitement.

“BD? What the hell are you talking about now, Dee?”  Pipes in Eve.

Dee starts explaining about a book her roommate lent her.  It was about the power exchange between a dominant and a submissive within a sexual act.  BDMS stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.  It was disconcerting that Dee was so knowledgeable about something so raunchy.

“You are a little too into this Dee!”  I point out.

“Yes, I admit it.  It turns me on.  Now I have three women looking at me horrified.  NO!  Not the whole spanking, domination thing!  I’m talking about just how scandalous it all is.  I NEED TO GET LAID!”  Dee throws herself back on her bed.

“Did she just self combust?”  Janie asks dryly.

“Yes, Miss Janie smarty pants, if I don’t get laid soon, I will self combust.  I know Eve is going to get it soon.  Eve, you better share when it happens, I need some inspiration that there is hope.”

“No way.” Eve adds quickly.  “The reservation is like a small town.  As soon as I fuck him, everyone will know.”

“Are you sure, Eve?  You texted us all a picture.  That guy is totally hot!  How can you not want to jump his bones?”  I couldn’t help throwing out my opinion.  Eve quickly noted my excitement.

“Well, Grace.  That is quite the observation coming from you.  I seem to remember a conversation in the airport where you swore that the only way to find power and confidence is to be the one in control?  You declared total abstinence until you knew he was going to be the one.”

“Wait, I don’t remember hearing this.”  Dee whined.  “What about our orgasm pact?  I was counting on you gals to inspire me to finally find the guy who could give me one.”

“How’s that working out for ya?”  Asks Janie in her perfect Sarah Palin accent.

“It’s not working Janie!  Hence my sexual frustration.  Now I hear two of my best friends have sworn off sex.  I am losing hope here.”

“Try three friends.”  Adds Janie.

“Life is over.  I will never have an orgasm.”  Dee throws herself back on her bed.

“Damn girl, law school is really stressing you out.”  Eve points out.

“Yes, it is but that’s not the problem.  I don’t know if it is hormones or reading that fucking book that got me writhing on the bed but I need an outlet.”

“Try exercise.”  Janie growls. 

“You know what I mean, Janie!”  Dee snaps back.  “When we all decided we wanted to end our virgin status, it happened for all four of us within months of each other.  I was just hoping we could get the same result with the orgasm pact.”

“Calm down, Dee.  I do want hot lusty sex.  I’m just trying to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes.  Call me crazy but I am no longer interested in crappy sex.”  I still haven’t confessed of my fantasies about Vinnie.  I could tell Dee was in high pressure mode.  No doubt she will be an incredible lawyer.  I didn’t need her talking me into doing something rash. 

“Yeah Dee.  We’re in a different situation now.  In college, everyone was doing it.  Shit, every weekend was like spring break.  Now we all are in environments where we have mature expectations on us.  It’s not easy to just jump in bed with someone.”  Explains Eve.

  “Fuck it all.  I am going to find another trashy novel.”  Dee looks resigned.

“Don’t worry Dee” Eve laughs “If you continue to read those BD, what were those initials?”

“BDSM.  Stands for bullshit dumb shitty men.”  Janie is quick to add.

“Very good student, Janie.  Yes Dee, if you continue to read those novels, I have a feeling you will be the dominatrix.  Not the other way around.  Couldn’t we all see Dee as the one holding the whip?”

Then, it happened.  Janie finally broke into one of her comedy routines.  She began a harsh demanding tone while picking up one her belts as a whip.

“I command you BOY!  Lick me until I come NOW.  If I don’t orgasm in one minute, YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE!”  Then she snapped her belt on her bed.

It was so good to see Janie’s sense of humor coming back.  All four of us were laughing hysterically. 

“Okay Janie,” Dee chuckles.  “I get it.  I sound ridiculous.  I just needed to let it all out.”

“Believe me Dee, we all understand.”  I add.

“Really Grace?  What are you struggling with?”  Eve asks a little too curiously. 

“Yeah Grace.  Not any of those gorgeous smart graduate students have held your interest?”  Janie adds.

“No one does it for me in any of my classes. They fit the stereotype for nerdy college boys. Yuck.”

“What about those sexy private investigators?  Now that type of man would be the perfect role for a good trashy novel.”

Lord, Dee was getting obsessed.

“No way.” I’m hoping they can’t tell I am lying through a computer screen.  “Those guys are just my friends.  My buddies.”  I emphasize.

“Grace.  I think you’re holding out.”

Shut up Eve is what I really want to say.  I know she is getting back at me for telling her to go for it with the tribal police officer.  She hates the pressure as much as me.

Instead I say, “Yes, you already know the answer to that, Eve.  I am holding out.”