Night Fires (18 page)

The self-satisfied gleam in her eyes stared right at me; she wasn’t even the least bit apologetic at what she thought she had achieved. I mentally praised myself for telling Carter about Josh before she did.

Carter stiffened, and just as I opened my mouth to bite the bitch back, his hand shot out and he gripped my hand. Giving me the faintest shake of his head, he locked his eyes with mine and devoted himself to me in just a look.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Beth.” He spoke softly but kept his eyes on mine. “Those marks are the definition of a
real
woman. Each scar is a signature of another milestone, another strong achievement. Every silver trophy that covers her beautiful skin is an aphrodisiac. Each one tells a story of a woman who has given the greatest gift ever. She gave life. And there’s nothing damn sexier than that.”

For a moment I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to drop to my knees and give him the best goddamn blowjob he’d ever had. I wanted to kiss his feet, even if I did find men’s feet repulsive. I wanted to squeeze him until he popped. No one had ever defended me, but Carter hadn’t just said those things to put Beth in her place, his eyes told me he spoke the truth, and he had wanted me to hear it.

I think I fell in love with him right then.

I blinked when a slow clap from across the table gathered my attention. Janie was applauding Carter, her soft smile showing just how much she cared for her friend. Bray grinned, and David sighed as if he was suddenly content.

It occurred to me that when Elizabeth died, my friends didn’t just lose her, they also lost Carter that day. They had no other choice but to watch their friend’s life end right in front of them. And when they witnessed the devotion from Carter to me, they also saw a piece of him return.

“It’s about goddamn time,” Janie whispered, her voice choked.

Carter, being the grumpy sod, scowled at her, but I could see the faint twinkle in his glare. Snatching my hand, he pulled me upright. “I’ll take Alice home with me.”

He then hauled me away from the table. I realised I hadn’t even looked at Beth to see her reaction to Carter’s words, but when he spun me around and walked me backwards into the wall, I realised I didn’t care. His kiss was as adoring, as passionate, and as hungry as ever. It was as if he was trying to verify his words with an action. I clung back, kissing him with as much adulation.

He grinned at me when he finally broke away.

“I think you just earned yourself another blowjob,” I stated boldly.

His smile widened. “I can’t think of anything better than a lazy Sunday afternoon with you wrapped around my cock.”

I swallowed at the lump that hastily formed in my throat. “On a serious note, I’m not sure you’re legally within the limit to drive.”

He shrugged, his eyes still fixed on me. “I thought we could spend the day in Newquay. By tonight I’ll be okay.”

I beamed with excitement. The thought of spending the day with Carter at the beach made my heart race. “I think that sounds perfect.”

He gave me a short nod and grabbed my hand. “Although I think you owe me an ice-cream.”

“Hell, I’ll smear it on your dick and eat it after what you just did.”

We both froze. I gawped at him in shock at what had just come out of my mouth. Carter unexpectedly broke into laughter then shook his head. “You’re on!”

I could only hope.

We had the most fantastic day. Carter took me on numerous fairground rides until my stomach couldn’t cope with any more and my head was constantly spinning. We browsed the shops and he insisted on buying me a small ankle bracelet that I fell in love with; it was only a cheap thing but attached to it was a tiny Kingfisher trinket that reminded me of the house. We walked along the beach at dusk, hand in hand as we watched the late surfers and ate ice-cream (We found a spot behind a large rock for me to keep my promise), and just before we set off home, Carter held me in his arms as we sat on the sand and watched the sunset over the ocean horizon. It was perfect, and something we had both really needed.

Carter drove slowly on the way home and I got the impression that he didn’t want the day to end just as much as I didn’t.

Plucking up the courage, I shifted in my seat to look at him in the dark confines of the car as he slid expertly through the various tight country lanes towards Mousehole.

I saw the twitch of his lips from the pale glow of moonlight in the car. “I wondered when you would get around to it.”

I frowned.

“The question you’ve been itching to ask me all day.”

I rolled my eyes. “I just wondered if… well, if you have an AA group.”

He paused but eventually nodded. “I do.”

Licking at my dry lips, I took a deep breath. “I really think you should contact your sponsor, Carter. Just for a chat.”

He glanced at me then turned back to the road. His silence unnerved me and I prayed I hadn’t gone too far.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m just worried about you.”

“Alice, I’m fine. It was just a slip up. Nothing to worry about.”

I nodded, even if I didn’t agree with him.

“And what about you?”

I shrugged, unsure of what he meant. “I’m sorry, I don’t…”

“Heroin, Alice.” He was so blunt that I winced. “You had a stash on your table. You were more than ready to hit it up before I…”

“But I didn’t,” I said defensively. “I didn’t.”

I turned to look out of the window when he studied me again. “And what if I hadn’t come along? What then? Because I have the sneaky suspicion that that needle would have found a vein, Alice.”

Blowing out a breath, I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “It was a bad day. A really bad time.”

He nodded as he manoeuvred the car around a particularly sharp bend. “How long were you on it?”

“Just a few months.” I couldn’t look at him, shame making me hate myself and feel unworthy of even a glance from him. “I suppose I was one of the lucky ones. A few months isn’t life threatening when you go cold turkey.”

“Still bad enough, I would imagine.” I jumped when his hand found my knee and he gave me a small squeeze. “I don’t judge, Alice. Hell, if anyone shouldn’t judge, it’s me. We all have our demons.”

“And it’s how we deal with their return that determines whether they go back to hell or not,” I said quietly, praying he would at least listen to what I was trying to say.

He huffed but then, unexpectedly, he nodded. “I tell you what, if I get that need for another drink, then I’ll phone Henry, my sponsor.”

“Thank you.” It was a whisper but my smile told him how much his promise meant to me. “I’m always here if you need to talk about stuff, you know?”

He nodded. I had a feeling I was the last person he really wanted to talk to, especially when the topic would be me anyway.

Before long we had fetched Mack from Betty’s and were pulling up outside my house.

“You hungry?” Carter asked as I slipped off my seatbelt.

“Very.”

He chuckled as, right on cue, my belly grumbled angrily. “Chinese or Indian?”

I was more excited that he was planning on staying the night. Food came way after orgasms, but trying to be mature I confined my glee and replied, “I could go for a curry.”

“Coming up.” He leaned across the seat and placed a hard kiss to my lips. “Go get yourself naked. The curry can stay warm in the oven while I eat you for starters.”

Anticipation exploded and this time I couldn’t hold back the grin as my body twitched in delight. Nodding eagerly, I gave him another kiss as Mack yanked me out of the car with his own impatient needs.

Carter laughed when I only just managed to shut the car door before Mack pulled me towards the steps in need. Lifting his hand to me, he pipped and then pulled away.

“Hell, Mack! Hang on. I’m not like you; I only have two legs!”

Realising I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him and I was holding back his urgent need to relieve himself, I flicked off his lead and laughed when he flew up the stone steps towards the house and the garden.

I was glad I’d fitted some solar lights alongside the steep steps; in the dark they were quite treacherous and I gave myself a pat on the back as I skipped up them. The shrubs were still cut back and I was pretty impressed with how good the house looked now. A wave of sadness flushed over me when it came back to me that I would soon have to give it up.

Mack was barking and the more I climbed the more frenzied he became. Was it that hard to find a spot to poo?

“Mack! Hush!”

Rifling blindly in my bag for my keys, I looked up in search of my loud dog when I reached the top.

The keys slid from my grasp and the world rushed at me when a dark figure rose from my front door step. Mack was instinctively crouched low in front of me, his deep growl and the perfect display of his small but sharp teeth a warning not to move any closer.

“Hello, Alice.”

The sound of Niall’s voice once again had my heart threatening to send me into cardiac arrest. A chill raced over my skin and my legs trembled so much I had to grab onto the stone wall to keep myself upright. My brain wouldn’t work quickly enough and I couldn’t do anything but stand and stare at him.

He tried to step towards me but Mack growled louder, forcing Niall to hold his hands out and slowly move backwards. “Call the dog off, Alice.”

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. Every emotion possible floored me. Hatred, guilt, fear, shock and anger; they all seized hold of my organs and paralysed me.

“Alice,” Niall urged. “Please. I just want to talk.”

My head was shaking, my body mimicking it as I moved further back, my feet shuffling across the stone slabs in an attempt to get away from him.

“No.” It was the only thing I could manage to say. “No.”

“Alice,” he tried again, risking Mack and taking another step towards me. “Please, just listen.”

“No.” I stepped back away from him again, desperate to put as much distance between us as possible.

A look of sheer horror broke across his face and he lunged forwards when the ground disappeared from under me. Pain exploded in every fibre of me when I felt myself falling, tumbling. Agony tore through me when every stone step collided with some part of me, each pounding at my body until the last one connected with my head and the world went black.

E
VERY PART OF
me hurt. I dared not breathe in case any subtle movement enhanced the pain that was actively overseeing everything in my mind.

“Try to keep still.”

I managed to peel my eyes open. A nurse smiled down at me, her grimace of sympathy making everything hurt more.

“You’ve had a nasty tumble, Alice. You’re in hospital.”

Really? Well shit, I hadn’t worked that out!

I couldn’t move, not that I really wanted to anyway. My leg felt heavy and my head throbbed with any slight shift. My wrist smarted and I winced when I felt the tug of stitches in my lip.

“Hey.”

Carter came into my view and relief at a familiar face gave me a small smile. Flinching when it hurt to even smile, I groaned and closed my eyes.

When I next opened them the room was lit by artificial light, the sun that had brightened the room now gone. The pain had eased, but only slightly.

“Better?” The nurse from before gave me her customary smile.

I nodded, managing to move marginally. “Yes.”

“Aren’t drugs wonderful?” She chuckled but her smile dropped when I heard Carter’s huff of annoyance.

“You can’t say things like that, you stupid…”

“Carter,” I warned with a small voice.

Hearing his huff again, I felt his hand slip into mine and squeeze. “I’m still here.”

Relaxation eased through me once again and I gave in to the pull of sleep.

“Get the fuck out of here!”

My eyes snapped open to the sound of Carter’s angry growl. He was sitting on a chair beside my bed, his hand still in mine, but his attention fixed on something out of my view. The pain in my head had gone but the rest of my body still hurt, my leg and my wrist making me uncomfortable.

I tried to see who he was glaring at but I couldn’t shift my head. Everything felt heavy and I was aware of the slight buzz in my body due to the drugs they had been feeding into me. I didn’t like the effect they were having on me and I baulked at the nausea that twisted my tummy every time I attempted to move.