Night Shifts Black (34 page)

The
Rest.

I wish I could say the three of us live
happily ever after after that. That Luke and Casey (and I) go on to win
countless awards. Casey and I get married, have three photo album children,
twelve grandchildren, and die as happy old people holding hands in the house we
built under a quilt I made. That Luke eventually finds peace and love, and none
of us ever has to visit that dark place behind the mirror again.

But that’s not the way
things work.

I don’t know what will
happen. I know it probably won’t be all, or any, of that. All I know is what’s
now, and that I have to embrace it, because you can’t define yourself by the
future and what you’re not. Because sometimes we make bad choices and sometimes
the evil chooses us, and that mirror is always there, waiting for the moment
when we give up and relinquish power.

So, here’s what I
know.

I’m Callie Roland.
Twenty-three, and I’m a great friend. I’m an ok writer who got incredibly lucky
and will soon have writing credits on an EP put out by rock superstars Night
Shifts Black. I’m crashing in a ridiculously expensive hotel with my incredible
boyfriend whom I’m pretty sure I’m in love with, and my other friend I love
like a brother.

I know Casey Barrett is
inspired again and writing like a fiend. He’s already finished his “break up
song” called “Too Late,” which he continues to swear is inspired by brief fling
Jana Furmali, and not me whom he’s crazy about. That doesn’t stop me from
teasing him, of course. Anything to see that magnetic grin as much as possible.

Here are the lyrics we
worked on together.

“Isn’t it obvious our feelings fade away

Isn’t it obvious it’s
too late to make a change

So I wait for the innocent moment of truth

You want a sign, demanding your proof

It’s too late for answers

Too late for questions

Too late for telling lies

Too late for pleading

Too late for reason

You know it’s time, oh it’s time

Isn’t it obvious amidst our cold embrace

Isn’t it obvious there’s too much to erase

And you wait for the shadow of a memory

Here’s your sign, you barely saw me leave

A picture’s worth a
thousand words

Let’s leave them as
memories…”

Thanks, Jana.

Which brings us to
Luke Craven. He’s still sad, quieter than he should be, but no longer
decimated. He participates in life more often than not, and has finally agreed
to let us finish “Perfect Day” for the EP. He even had some input on “Too Late”
and “Laughing Stock,” and openly admits the final set will be an epic comeback
that’ll make the Label and fans happy. He’s also seriously talking about
sobriety and promised to seek counseling for his depression. He’s cut back on
the alcohol to maintenance levels, although he’s still stuck in dependence and
needs professional support. Casey and I made a compelling case for counseling,
encouraging Luke with confessions of our own experiences letting the pros guide
and support us through our journey out of the darkness. We’re setting a goal of
getting him help prior to the tour, which is currently scheduled to kick off on
September 12.

And yes, I also now know
that I’m officially going with them. Don’t laugh, but somehow I’ve ended up
with this crazy image of being Luke’s guardian angel. Casey finds the whole
thing hilarious, the way everyone treats me like I’m some holy psychiatrist,
but he’s not complaining, and thinks it will be good for me to be around as
support for both of them. Luke needs that extra boost to get through what’s
going to be a very difficult transition back to the life he fled, and I think,
deep down, Casey knows Luke needs more than the ancient friendship Casey can
provide. He needs a rude, impolite, busybody who will refuse to let him imprison
himself. Someone to fight that damn mirror and keep it from claiming another
victim. He doesn’t need a fan, he needs a supporter. An anchor, not a dreamer,
and that’s me.

Callie Roland, hammer.

Note from the Author.

Depression is a serious illness that can go
unrecognized by the victim and surrounding loved ones.

If you, or anyone you know, have plans to harm
yourself, or you just need someone to talk to, help is available. Please know
you are not alone, and help is just a phone call away.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK is the United States based suicide prevention network of 161
crisis centers. It provides a 24-hour, toll-free hotline available to anyone in
suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Seek help, and know that you are important and you
are loved.

Sincerely,

Alyson Santos

Acknowledgements
.

To my husband who has proven to be my hammer. Thank
you for your endless support and love as we face this journey of life together.

To my brother and friend. I can never thank you
enough for your insight and inspiration in bringing the music to life. I’m
honored to call you my brother and love you dearly.

To Tesrin Afzal and Darlene Avery. There are no
words, ladies. I will always be grateful that this story brought us together
and locked you forever in my heart.

To Eli Peters and Evie Woods. So blessed and
honored to have you on my team. Love you ladies big and will always be floored
and humbled by your generosity and faith in me.

To Era Media Co. and Gabe Gennace. Thank you for
perfectly capturing Luke and his story with your vision and talent. A
phenomenal job, as always.

To Jenn Hewitt. Thank you for your infectious
inspiration and always believing in me. Looking forward to a long future of
“breakfast clubs!”

To Beth Flynn. Your support means the world and I
will always be grateful to you for your guidance and incredible kindness. I
only hope I can follow your selfless example.
 

To Eva McFarden, Louise Husted, Christine Baham
Pappas, Tina Monroe, and Maria Angie Mendoza. Thank for taking the time and
chance on an unknown. Your support and willingness to help means the world.

To all of you who took a chance on me, thank you.
Thank you for allowing me to share my heart, and I sincerely hope yours was
touched in some small way. Always remember, believe, reach out, and never curb
your compassion.