Niubi! (13 page)

“Get together.”

 

那个
nèigè
(
nay guh
)

Literally “that” but can serve as a euphemism for sex for anyone too embarrassed to use
zuò’ài
(page 93), and much like saying “it” or “you know what” in English. Thus you might say, “她已经跟我那个了” “
Tā yíjīng gēn wǒ nèigè le
” (
tah ee jing gehn tah nay guh luh
): “She did it with me.”

 

做爱
zuò’ài
(
zwuh aye
)

Make love.

 

做
zuò
(
dzwuh
)

To do, to make. A euphemism for having sex. Similar to “doing” someone or saying they “do it” in English.

 

弄
nòng
(
nohng
)

Do, mess with.

 

收
shōu
(
show
)

Beijing slang for “have sex.” Used similarly to “do.” Literally “receive.” Also a decent approximation for the term “hook up.”

 

炒饭
chǎofàn
(
chow fahn
)

Literally “fried rice.” Taiwan slang for having sex (written 炒飯 in Taiwan), because stir-frying rice involves a lot of flipping and turning.

 

插
chā
(
cha
)

Bang. A dirty way to say “have sex.” Literally “insert.”

 

打炮
dǎpào
(
dah pow
)

Literally “blasting cannons” or “shooting shells.” Dirty northern Chinese slang for having sex.

 

干
gān
(
gahn
)

Fuck, do. A dirty way to refer to sex. Some example usages include 你干了她?
Nǐ gān le tā
? (
nee gahn luh ta
), “Did you do her?” and 你和他干了？
Nǐ hé tā gān le
? (
nee huh tah gahn luh
): “Did you do it with him?”

 

搞
gǎo
(
gaow
)

Screw, fuck, do. A dirty word for sex, though less dirty than
gān
(above). Example usages: 他乱搞男女关系！
Tā luàn gǎo nǎnnǚ guānxì
！ (
tah lwen gaow nahn nee gwahn she
), “He’s been screwing someone!” (literally, “He’s been indiscriminately doing male-female relations”); or 我要搞她！
Wǒ yào gǎo tā!
(
wuh yow gaow ta
): “I want to fuck her!”

 

搞一下
gǎo yīxià
(
gaow ee shah
)

Literally “do once” or “do for a short while.” Can also be used similarly to “hooking up,” although there is no Chinese term that fully matches the English.

 

肏
cào
, more commonly written 操
cāo
(both pronounced
tsow
)

Fuck. The character 肏 is visually quite graphic, as it is composed of 入
rù
(
roo
), “enter,” and 肉
ròu
(
row
), “meat.” 肏 is technically the correct character for “fuck,” but because it is not included in most computer or phone-character input systems, and because it’s just so uncomfortably dirty looking, most people write the homophonous 操 (which actually means “hold”). 肏
Cào
/ 操
cāo
is mainly used for swearing—for example 肏你妈!
Cào nǐ mā!
(
tsow nee ma
), which means “Fuck your mother!” or “Fuck you”—and not usually to describe actual sex. If it is used in the context of actual sex, it’s extremely dirty and also very derogatory.

 

日
rì
(
rih
)

Southern Chinese slang for “fuck.” Its usage is the same as
cào
above—it is extremely dirty and used mainly for swearing, not to describe sex. Also used a bit in a few northern areas like Shan’xi and Shandong provinces.

 

419

One-night stand (pronounced in English). Used because “four one nine” sounds like “for one night,” and also because the Chinese pronunciation of those numbers,
sìyāojiǔ
(
sih yow joe
), sounds similar to 睡一宿
shuì yī xiǔ
(
shway ee show
), which means “sleep one night.” Used in mainland China only.

 

套子
tàozi
(
taow dz
) or 套套
tào tao
(
taow taow
)

Cutesy ways of saying “condom.”

阴茎
yīnjīng
(
een jing
)

Penis.

 

阳具
yángjù
(
yahng gee
)

Dick. Literally “sex tool.” Used a lot in erotic writing and pornographic novels but not in speech.

 

玉茎
yùjīng
(
yee jing
)

Literally “jade stalk.” A poetic euphemism for “penis,” dating to ancient times. Not used in speech.

 

鸡巴
jība
(
gee bah
)

Cock, dick. The most common slang word for a penis, and quite vulgar. Also used as an intensifier in the same way you’d use a swear word: for example, “that
jība
whore” is stronger than simply “that whore.”

 

鸡鸡
jī ji
(
gee gee
) or 小鸡鸡
xiǎo jī ji
(
shaow gee gee
)

A cutesy term for “penis,” used by little kids or jokingly between lovers. Literally “chick” and “little chick,” respectively. Often written “JJ” online.

 

老二
lăo’èr
(
laow er
—rhymes with “cow ” and “her”)

Dick. Literally “second brother” or “little brother.”

 

小弟弟
xiăo dì di
(
shyow dee dee
—
xiăo
rhymes with “cow ”)

A kiddie term for “penis,” much like “peenie” or “wee-wee.” Literally “little brother.”

 

屌
diăo
(
dyow
), sometimes written 吊
diào
(
dyow
)

Dick, cock. Used more as an insult than to actually refer to a penis.

 

鸟
niăo
(
nyow,
rhymes with “cow ”)

Dick, cock. Literally “bird.” Less common than
diăo
(above).

 

命根子
mìng gēnzi
(
ming gehn dz
—that’s a hard
g
in
gēn
, like the
g
in “get”)

Euphemism for “penis,” literally meaning “root of life,” “lifeblood,” or “one’s own life.” An extremely formal and/or literary term, but sometimes used jokingly in colloquial speech.

 

割包皮
gēbāopí
(
guh baow pee
)

Circumcised, circumcision (which is rare in China). “Are you circumcised?” is 你割包皮没有?
Nǐ gēbāopí méiyǒu?
(
nee guh baow pee may yo
).

 

鸡巴毛
jībamáo
(
gee bah maow
)

Literally “dick hair.” A crude term for male pubic hair. Used more as an insult than to actually refer to pubic hair, for which the neutral term is 阴毛
yīnmáo
(
een mao
—
máo
rhymes with “cow.”)

yú shu zh hun

 

龟头
guītóu
(
gway toe
)

Scientific term for the glans, or head of the penis. Literally “tortoise head.”

 

包皮
bāopí
(
baow pee
—
bāo
rhymes with “cow”)

Foreskin. Literally “wrapper” or “wrap skin.”

 

睾丸
gāowán
(
gaow wahn
—
gāo
rhymes with “cow” and
wán
sounds like the “won” in “wonton soup”)

Formal term for testicles.

 

蛋
dàn
(
dahn
) or 蛋蛋
dàn dàn
(
dahn dahn
)

Balls. Literally “eggs.”

 

得儿
de’r
(
durr
)

Beijing slang for “balls.” This term is so colloquial that most Beijingers don’t know how to write it, so don’t be too concerned with the characters for this one.

 

勃起
bóqǐ
(
bwuh chee
)

Have an erection, erection.

 

直
zhí
(
jih
)

Hard. Literally “straight” or “vertical” or “upright.”

 

硬
yìng
(
eeng
) or 硬了
yìng le
(
eeng luh
)

Hard, get hard.

 

铁硬
tiě yìng
(
tyih eeng
)

Rock hard (referring to an erection). Literally “iron hard.”

阴道
yīndào
(
een dow
)

Vagina. Literally “female path.”

 

阴户
yīnhù
(
een who
)

Poetic/literary term for the vagina. Literally “female door.”

 

下身
xiàshēn
(
shah shen
) or 下体
xiàtǐ
(
shah tee
)

Euphemism for the female private parts. Literally “lower body.”

 

小妹妹
xiǎo mèimei
(
shyaow may may
)

Most common slang term for “vagina.” Literally “little sister.”

 

屄
bī
(
bee
)

Cunt, pussy (extremely dirty). Often written 逼 instead, which means “compel” or “close” but is pronounced the same (and looks less dirty).

 

屄毛
bīmáo
(
bee maow
)

A dirty term for female pubic hair.

 

白虎
báihǔ
(
by who
)

Shaved pussy. Literally “white tiger.” In ancient times
báihǔ
meant a woman with no pubic hair, shunned by matchmak ers because it was believed that such a woman would bring misfortune or even death to her husband. The male equivalent is 青龙
qīnglong
(
cheen lohng
), literally “green dragon,” meaning a man without pubic hair, also superstitiously believed to bring trouble or death to his wife.

 

阴蒂
yīndì
(
een dee
)

Clitoris.

 

湿
shī
(
shih
)

Wet.

 

出水
chū shuǐ
(
choo shway
)

Release vaginal secretions, get wet. Literally “discharge water.”

 

淫水
yínshuǐ
(
een shway
)

Cunt juice. Literally “lewd juice.”

 

屄水
bīshuĭ
(
bee shway
)

Cunt juice. Literally “pussy water.”

屁股
pìgǔ
(
pee goo
)

Butt.

 

腚
dìng
(
ding
)

Butt.

 

股沟
gŭgōu
(
goo go
)

Butt crack.

 

肛门
gāngmén
(
gahng men
)

Anus.

 

屁眼
pìyǎn
(
pee yen
)

Asshole (as in the slang term for “anus” but, unlike the English, is not used as an insult). Literally “butt eye.”

 

菊花门
júhuāmén
(
gee hwa men
) or just 菊花
júhuā
(
gee hwa
)

Anus. Literally “chrysanthemum door” or just “chrysanthemum,” because the anus resembles a chrysanthemum flower. Used a lot in erotic writing and pornographic novels, which tend to use poetic euphemisms for sex and body parts, but not used in speech.

 

肛交
gāngjiāo
(
gahng jow
)

Anal sex.

 

鸡奸
jījiān
(
gee gin
)

Ass fucking. 鸡
jī
(
gee
) means “chicken” and 奸
jiān
(
gin
) is a derogatory word for sex, though it’s not obscene like “fucking.”

 

走后门
zǒuhòumén
(
dzoe hoe men
)

Go the back way—a euphemism for having anal sex. Has a slightly humorous edge because this is also an extremely common term in everyday speech that means “pulling strings,” or using one’s connections or other unofficial channels to get something done.

高潮
gāocháo
(
gaow chow
)

Orgasm (noun).

 

来
lái
(
lie
)

Come (both noun and verb). The colloquial term for an orgasm in northern China.

 

去
qù
(
chee
)

The colloquial term for an orgasm (both noun and verb) in southern China and Taiwan, which interestingly is the exact opposite of the northern term, as it literally means “go.”