No Quarter (NOLA's Own #2) (15 page)

“As long as you let me talk food with the man, I’ll never need to sleep with him,” I told her and winked.

“Yeah, but what’s to stop me from attacking Phil?” she joked.

“The fact that his cock is almost as big as you are.”

“Oof! Yeah, at least Lewis fits.”

Lewis approached the limo door and opened it, ducking his head inside. A tiny flutter zipped around the region of my heart, and I felt like a starstruck geek when his gorgeous face stretched into a smile.

“Hello, ladies.”

Lewis’s voice was nearly as deep as Phil’s, which was probably another reason why I found him so attractive. That voice combined with the topic of organic cooking…
damn
.

Lili beamed as those aquamarine eyes swung to her. I noticed that his eyes went a little darker as they took in her features, and I was satisfied on a scientific level that he was just as infatuated with her as she was with him.

“Hello,” the four of us chanted back in unison.

Reaching his hand in, he snatched Lili’s and pulled her from the car, letting the rest of us crawl out in our fancy dresses, unassisted.

“Oh my
God
!” Sheri hissed in my ear. “No wonder Phil is so fucking jealous! That guy is beyond beautiful!”

I smirked and nodded. Indeed, Lewis
was
gorgeous, but my world didn’t explode into Technicolor when I looked at him. Phil was my Dark God, master of my universe, and compared to that, Lewis was just a really hot chef.

“Lewis, you’ve met Alys,” said Lili, gearing up for the introductions. “And that’s Sheri.”

She wiggled her fingers at him.

“And this”—Lili reached for my hand and pulled me closer to her—“is Kenna.”

In my heels, I was about an inch taller than him. He was a decent-sized guy.

Lewis pulled me into a bear hug. “Lili has told me all about you,” he said, giving me a wonderful squeeze. “It’s great to finally meet you.”

“She refused to tell me anything about you.” I laughed and hugged him back.

“Yeah, she’s a little shit that way,” he replied, his eyes sparkling with warmth at his Pygmy. “She told me you’re my number one fan.”

“I’m sure I’m high up on that list. My boyfriend isn’t too keen about it though, but he loves my cooking, so he’ll have to thank you for that.”

“That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had.”

Escorting us inside, Lewis led us to a large half moon–shaped booth located right next to the open kitchen. I noticed he didn’t let go of Lili’s hand until he moved it to her lower back as she went to sit.

“No menus tonight, ladies,” he told us in his smooth deep voice. A server silently glided up next to him but not too closely. “This is Gina. She’ll make sure you have everything you need while I’m making your food. I’ll be sending things out as I finish them.”

“Wow, Lewis. You don’t have to do that,” said Lili.

He smiled warmly at her. “It’s my pleasure. I have three sous chefs who make it more than possible.” He turned to Gina. “Bring them a bottle of the white and water.”

Gina immediately walked off with a spritely bounce in her step.

Leaning down, Lewis pressed a kiss to Lili’s brow. “I’ll come check on you all in a bit. I need to get started.”

He wasn’t stationed very far, no more than ten feet and facing us from behind the kitchen counter that partitioned off the dining area.

The Duck Pond was
fabulous
—from the highly polished bamboo flooring to the pristine white walls with hand-painted light-green bamboo stalks and fuchsia lotus blossoms to the bright crystal chandeliers. The booths, tables with crisp white cloths, and chairs were lacquered black wood with light-green and cream padding. Bowls of floating lotus blossoms along with floating tea lights graced each table.

“Damn.” I sighed, looking around. “This is amazing!”

Lili grinned. “I know. You should see his home. I thought I was dreaming when he took me there. It’s
that
beautiful.”

Gina returned with a bottle of white wine and poured us each a small glass before filling up our water glasses. A few minutes later, she delivered four small plates with tiny avocado spring rolls and a rice vinegar with lime dipping sauce.

“It’s too small,” I complained. “I want more!”

Lili snickered.

Next came a miniscule amount of ceviche with wasabi soy dressing.

“Oh my God,” whispered Sheri. “This is fucking amazing!”

A few bites of croutons topped with tuna tartar followed.

“He’s killing me!” stated Alys, trying very hard to savor the bits of tuna. “He’s such a tease!”

Gina delivered plate after plate after plate of divine bites of ambrosia, and the four of us could only attempt to take our time in delighting in them. The flavors and combinations were out of this world, and just as I’d expected, Lewis Lee was indeed a fucking genius of epic proportions.

“How was therapy on Monday?” Lili asked Sheri while we awaited our eleventh or twelfth plate of culinary sex.

“Really good.” Sheri smiled. “It was needed, too. My therapist is a very nice woman. We talked about…well, what I told you guys. She thinks it’s going to take some time but feels I have a firm grasp on what it is I’m looking for. She thinks it’s positive of me to want to work through my problems with her rather than just ignoring them or finding less…helpful…ways of dealing with them.”

“That’s really great,” said Alys.

Sheri beamed. “I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. It’s a good feeling.”

“How is Jason doing with all of this?” asked Lili.

“He’s very supportive. He wants to go with me once I’m more comfortable with it. I think he wants to make sure that our relationship can pull through everything.”

More plates of tasty goodness came out—pork medallions with fried spring onions and a spicy chili sauce, beef tips with pickled asparagus, a single lamb chop with a dollop of curry mashed potatoes.

“Lili…” moaned Alys. “I want you to marry Lewis and make him cook for us every damn day.”

“I’m on it.” She smiled.

Dessert came out—fruit salads topped with a sake sorbet.

“Mother of God…” groaned Sheri. “This is…”

Chocolate truffles followed.

“I’m…I’m
bluidy feckin’
staggered,” I grunted, for some reason slipping into Da’s Scottish accent.

Lili and Alys busted out titters because laughing would have been just be too painful. Sheri looked startled.

At the end of it all—which took two
bluidy
hours—Lewis came out to find four fat and sassy women, too full to move, with the food sweats.

“How was everything?” he asked, scooting in next to Lili.

“We’re discussing all of us marrying you,” Alys said, slumping back against the booth. “Screw our boyfriends. We’ll make you happy. We swear.”

Lewis laughed. “Careful, ladies. I might just take you up on that offer.”

“It was wonderful,” Sheri said. “I’ve never had such an amazing dining experience.”

“I’m thrilled you enjoyed it.”

“You rock, babe,” said Lili. “That was above and beyond our expectations.”

“Hey, it was a special occasion for you all. I was just happy to be a part of it.”

Damn, he’s fine
and
fantastic. Lili has fucking scored big time
, I thought.

“Are you working late?” Lili asked.

“Nah, I’ll head out of here in an hour or so. Should I pick you up later?”

“Yes, you should,” I told him. “Lili needs to thank you
improperly
for this phenomenal experience.”

“I’m down for that.” Lili grinned. “After I’ve digested some of this.”

Leaning over and kissing her hair, he whispered something that made Lili smile.

“Well, we’ll take the check now, so we can roll our fat asses out of here,” Alys said.

Lewis just smiled. “Yeah, you don’t have to worry about that.”

The four of us gave him all identically surprised looks.

“Eh?” I asked, too full to really form more words.

“It’s taken care of, ladies,” he said, getting to his feet. “And it was an absolute pleasure serving you tonight. Anytime any of you wants to come in, just give me a call, and consider it done. You don’t wait, okay?”

“Who…” I started to ask, a little dazed.
Who else, you dipshit? Your fucking boyfriend and his bandmate cronies!

“Have a wonderful evening.” Lewis kissed Lili on her brow once more and headed back into the kitchen.

“Oh my God,” I said under my breath. Turning to Sheri, I gave her a hard look. “Did you know?”

She shook her head. “No. I actually planned to pay for it myself. I wanted to treat you all for inviting me.”

“Sheri!” I gasped.

“What? I wanted to!”

Grunting and groaning, we waddled out of the booth and headed for the doors. The hostess graciously smiled and opened them for us. Waiting right where we’d left it sat the limo.

“Has it been right here the whole time?” asked Alys.

“No, I texted the driver after the truffles showed up,” Sheri replied, painfully bending in half to enter the limo.

Lili pulled a fat blunt out of her purse before the driver had a chance to shut the door. After she sparked it, it made the rounds in silence. The weed settled our overly stuffed bellies by the time the limo pulled up in front of the Plantation House. Our driver parked and jumped out to open the door for us and ended up enveloped in a thick cloud of pungent goodness.

“Have a fantastic evening!” sang Alys giddily as we spilled out of the vehicle.

He smiled from ear to ear. “You, too, ladies!”

Giggling like loons, we headed up the steps to the grand front entrance.

“I think the guys are in the sound room. They’ve been working on some new stuff,” Sheri told us.

We followed her to a door leading down a long flight of stairs, which brought us to a long hallway with
extremely
purple carpet. The walls were black, and wall sconces held up lights resembling torches with flickering bulbs.

“Weirdos,” huffed Alys.

“You haven’t been down here either?” I whispered loudly over the muted sounds of instruments coming from down the hall.

She shook her head.

On the right side, the wall turned to glass, showing a fully illuminated decent-sized room where amps and Flipper’s drum kit filled the space and several basses and guitars lined the walls. The guys were all sitting on stools with Flipper shirtless behind his massive kit. The rest of them, however, were bundled in sweatshirts. Phil was hunching over a small writing desk, the hoodie of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head, scribbling away at some paper.

“Fuck this shit!” yelled Flipper.

“Hey, man. You’re the one who couldn’t—” X started to say.

Flipper chucked a drumstick at the back of his fiery head with impressive accuracy.

“Ow! Fuck, man!” howled X.

“Turn off the fuckin’ AC!”

“You lost the wager,” emerged Phil’s voice from inside his hoodie.

Jason was cracking up.

Flipper ominously pointed his remaining drumstick at Phil.
“Callate la boca, hibrido sucio!”

Lili gasped. “Oh my God!”

“What?” hissed Alys.

“He just called Phil a filthy half-breed!”

Sheri snorted with laughter. “Yeah, like that’s the worst thing Flipper’s ever called him.”

“Filthy half-breed?” whispered Alys.

“Phil’s mom was a Choctaw, like full-blooded,” I replied.

Surprised, she looked at Phil. “Huh…well, no wonder he’s so fucking gorgeous.”

“Right?”

Just then, Flipper noticed us on the other side of the glass and his face broke into a wicked, mischievous grin.

“Well,
hello
, ladies!” he crowed. Being the spritely fellow he was, he jumped to his feet and dashed from behind his drums, arms waving in the air.

Motherfucker was butt-ass naked! X, Jason, and Phil all swiveled their heads toward us, eyes widening, jaws going slack.

“Look!” shouted Flipper. “It’s so cold in here my
pinga
has become a
panocha
!”

He bounded over to the door and wrenched it open before any of the guys could react. Blasting us with a gust of icy air, Flipper leaped out, arms and legs akimbo. Twisting his hips, he made his cold, lifeless little pecker flop from side to side.

We erupted into sidesplitting guffaws. Alys quickly slipped into silent laugh mode, her nostrils flaring, eyes leaking, mouth gaping.

“It’s pierced!” choked Lili.

“You ladies like my vajazzle? It’s cute, yeah?”

“Dude!” shouted X.

I sagged against the wall, clutching my poor belly, my own eyes leaking. Next to me, Sheri ripped a very unladylike snort, which set us off even more.

“Who wants to touch my clit piercing?” shouted Flipper. “Anyone?” Swiveling his hips, his cock spun like a tassel.

We were done for. Both Alys and I sank to the floor. Lili clutched the wall with one hand, her stomach with the other. Sheri had both hands covering her mouth, positively howling with laughter.

Flipper pranced up and flapped it around our heads. “See it sparkle?”

“Oy!” shouted Phil.

There was the sound of a stool being kicked back and scraping the floor.

“It’s like a roll of pennies!” I squealed.

“Run, Flipper!” shouted Lili.

Not needing to be told twice, Flipper tore down the hallway, firm little ass bouncing, arms waving around above his head. “Zoom, zoom, zoom! Vajazzle!”

Phil plowed through the doorway, the look on his face thunderous, and narrowly missed his little Mexican drummer. X and Jason were right on Phil’s heels, clogging up the doorway.

Lili was on her hands and knees, pounding the floor with her fist.

“I can’t breathe!” I gasped, wheezing and laughing.

“Me…neither!” choked Alys.

“Vajazzle!” shouted Lili.

The four of us lost it all over again.

Jason couldn’t contain it anymore. He snorted—and whistled—with laughter. “Shit.”

Lili cracked up harder, pointing at him.

Then, all three of them joined in on the hysterics, Jason’s busted nose whistling the whole time. It was at least ten minutes before the laughter subsided, by which time the guys were on the floor with us.