No Regrets (Bomar Boys #1) (14 page)

“I’m not having trouble remembering anything. Stop it Cash!”

“No. Not until you tell me why you would ever consider talking to that bastard after what he did to you.” He started to reach for her, realized his hands were still clenched and dropped them to his side, struggling to make sense of the tumult of emotions roaring inside of him, “Damnit Jem, he hurt you. He could have killed you. Have you forgotten what he tried to do to you?”

Rage, swift and strong, more powerful than anything he’d felt in a long time swept through him. Anger was such a weak word for what he was feeling. But wrapped up in it was a sense of loss, of regret, and the guilt was still there too.

He couldn’t lose her again. He couldn’t. He couldn’t sit on the sidelines and watch her go back to someone that would hurt her. He wouldn’t let her.

“Of course not.” She gaped at him.

“Then what the hell? He could have killed you. Don’t do this. Don’t give him another chance. I can’t…” His voice broke and he realized he was panting, he shook his head and pushed to his feet, trying to find solid ground, “I can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. Not like that. Not again.”

“Cash…” Her voice was behind him now and he shuddered through the anger.

“I’ll kill him, Jemma. If he lays a hand on you again, I’ll kill him.”

“Cash…” Small hands touched his back and he spun back to face her.

She took a step back from him, surprise and concern painting her face. She’d pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and her eyes were wide. Fear. It was there, stark and real, and it hit him harder than any left hook ever could have. He’d scared her and he scrambled backwards, trying to keep his anger from touching her.

“Shit. Jemma, I’m sorry. I…”

“No. I’m sorry.” She moved towards him, her hands up as if she intended to reach for him, “I’m sorry, Cash.”

He gaped down at her, “Why are you apologizing to me?”

“Because I hurt you.” She said simply, her palms resting on his chest, warm but soft, “I didn’t mean to but I hurt you by refusing to explain and I’m sorry.”

“Damnit Jemma, didn’t I tell you that you never have to apologize to me?” He growled, scooping her up into his arms and hugging her, “Stop apologizing. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She didn’t fight him. She slid her arms up around his neck and held on as he lifted her off her feet. He hugged her close, buried his face in her neck and breathed her in. She shouldn’t let him this close to her, not if she knew what was good for her, not after he’d just threatened to kill a man and meant it, completely, but he’d take it, just this one moment with her, to breathe some calm into his overheated system.

“You didn’t scare me.” She wiggled against him, “Okay, you kind of did, but not because I thought you’d hurt me. I know you wouldn’t. But I believed you there for a second, I believed you really would kill him if he touched me again.”

“I would. I will.”

“You won’t.” She pulled back just enough she could look him in the eye, “You’re not capable of murder, Cash.”

“I might be when it comes to you.” He admitted.

He only ever lost control of his temper when it came to her. He knew that. He’d known that when he let her go last time. It was one of the reasons he’d let her go.

To his utter surprise, she smiled softly, “No. You’re not. You’re a good man.”

He sighed and dropped her back to the ground. He shouldn’t have her in his arms. He didn’t deserve her. He wanted to though. He wanted to be a good man, for her. But he wasn’t, because he really would kill that fucker if he had a chance, no matter what she thought.

“You know me better than that.” He tried for a smile but it felt forced and from the way she shook her head he knew she saw it.

“Cash, you’re not going to scare me off this time so don’t even try it.”

His brows furrowed at that strange statement, “I’m… what?”

She shook her head and smiled, “Nothing. Never mind. Just… will you let me explain how I know Hoyt’s going to be out of town?”

He hated that bastard’s name on her lips. He swallowed a growl and nodded. He let her lead him back to their chairs. When she pushed him down on his she surprised him again because she didn’t release his hand, just held onto him as she sat directly across from him and met his eyes.

“I haven’t been talking to him, not really.” She started, “He’s called a few times and when I didn’t pick up he sent texts. They didn’t stop, coming in at all hours, so I finally gave in and responded the other night.”

He scowled, “Why?”

“Because I didn’t want him to think I was coming back for him. Ever. I told him that it was over. We’re done. I told him that nothing he could do would convince me to come back to him.”

“How’d that go?”

“Not well. He tried arguing. He used some threats.” She squeezed his hand when he cursed, “I told him I have pictures of what he did to me and he backed down. He said he wouldn’t fight me on it, that clearly we were bad for each other and he should have gotten rid of me years ago.”

“That son of a bitch, he tried to make you feel bad?”

“That’s his M.O.” Jemma shrugged, “It doesn’t matter, what matters is that he finally told me if I wanted to come and pick up my stuff that he’d prefer I did it when he wasn’t there. I agreed. He said he had some meetings coming up and would be out of town next weekend through the one after that. I can go either.”

Cash forced himself to regulate his breathing. That fucker had tried to turn it all back around on her. He’d threatened her. He’d tried to make her feel bad, feel guilty, when he was the one that had hurt her. His fists would have clenched again but he managed to control the urge because he was afraid of breaking her fingers which were still clutching his tightly.

He blew out a breath, “So you’re going to Houston next weekend?”

“Or the one after that.”

He did the math in his head. It was possible. Auto might throw a fit but he’d get over it. Cash had never taken as much as a sick day in five years. He could make it work.

“If you wait another week, I can take you.”

She blinked, clearly surprised by the offer, “What?”

“I have some time off I can take. I just have to let Auto know in advance. I’d take you next weekend but its end of the month and he has a lot of extracurricular activities around that time so I’ll have to cover the shop. Wait the extra week and I’ll take you.”

“Cash, you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” He squeezed her hand, “Please let me take you? I’ll feel a lot better about the whole thing if you let me drive you down there. I know you say he won’t be there but still, it’s a long drive and you shouldn’t go alone.”

Jemma stared down at their linked fingers for a long moment and sighed, “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

She looked up at him and he had to fight the urge to lean forward and kiss her. Her eyes, those beautiful green and gold-flecked eyes, were warm and soft again. Her gaze dipped to his mouth and he swallowed hard. Because he knew that look, knew she was thinking the same thing he was, and damn it but as much as she might think he was a good guy, he wasn’t. She was going to have to be the one to stop them this time because he just wasn’t up to it right now.

“Jem…” He muttered a warning.

“Thank you, for offering, and wanting to take care of me.” She licked her lips, “But this is why I think it’s a bad idea. All we have to do is look at each other and the sparks fly. I can’t be near you for more than ten minutes without wanting you to kiss me.”

“Ten minutes? Try ten seconds baby.”

“I’ve tried to stay away from you.” She whispered, leaning forward slightly, her hand still in his, stroking softly over his skin, “My life is a mess right now. I don’t know how you fit into it until I figure things out.”

“I’ve been trying to give you time to work it out.” He struggled between doing the right thing and pulling back or pulling her closer.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to get tied up in my mess.”

He stroked her hair back, hadn’t even realized he was reaching for her until he was sliding his hand around the nape of her neck, “Obligation isn’t even close to what I feel for you.”

“You can’t come with me to Houston.” She licked her lips again, fascinating him, so it took him a second to register her words.

“The hell I can’t.” He tightened his grip on her.

“I won’t tell you when I’m leaving.”

“I’ll dismantle your car. I don’t want to but I will if you make me.”

“Cash, that’s crazy. No.”

“I’m coming with you or you’re not going, Jemma.”

Her breaths were coming fast, “Damn it, I can’t say no to you. I don’t want to, not even when you’re being bossy and demanding.”

He groaned and tugged her forward. She fell into his lap and straddled him. Her tiny body wrapped around his. He could see her hard nipples through the thin barrier of her bikini top. He could feel her heat through the skimpy bottoms. She shifted but it wasn’t to pull away and what little rational thought he had left fled as she rubbed against his erection.

He would be demanding on this point and tugged her chin down so she had to meet his eyes, “Say it. Say you’ll wait for me to drive you to go to Houston.”

She whimpered softly and arched into his touch, “Kiss me. Please. Kiss me and you can drive…”

He didn’t make her finish the sentence. His mouth was on hers before she could utter the last words. He slammed his mouth to hers. Too rough, his head reminded his body. He groaned and pulled back, softening the kiss until she moaned and opened for him. Her tongue was there, eager and ready and it nearly destroyed him when she kissed him back as if she needed it as much as he did.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, his palm skimming her perfectly round ass. His mind wheeled with the possibilities. They were barely clothed. He could have himself out of his board shorts in one move, shove her bottoms aside and drive inside of her. He could pound into her tight, wet heat until she screamed his name, make her his again, for good this time.

She shifted against him and he groaned. So close. She wanted it as badly as he did. Needed it. She sighed into his mouth when he gripped her hips and rocked her against him, hitting her in just the right spot. The movement was easy, natural, because everything between them had always been that way.

Right. Perfect. They fit together because they’d been made for each other.

He was reaching for the tie on her hip when he heard the wolf-whistle. He froze. Jemma froze. Neither of them moved. There was the sound of childish laughter and then several admonishments to look away and he groaned as he was forced to break the kiss. Jemma started to scramble off of his lap but he wrapped his arms around her and held her in place.

“Uh-huh, you’re not going anywhere, baby.”

“Cash.” She hissed, her cheeks turning as pink as her bathing suit.

“You jump up right now and I’m going to scar that kid for life.”

Her cheeks continued to color, “Oh…”

“Yeah. Oh.” He brushed her bangs aside and then cupped the back of her head with his free hand, “Come here, they don’t have to see you babe. I’ll handle this.”

She ducked her head against his shoulder as he guided her down. He cringed when the movement gave him a clear view of the people behind her. Just as he’d suspected, it was a family that lived in the complex. He’d gone to school with the mom and Nicky Hernandez was glaring at him like he was pond scum as she covered her son’s eyes with her hands.

“Sorry about that y’all.” He cleared his throat, realizing his voice was still husky, “Didn’t know I had an audience.”

“It’s a public pool. Have some decency.” Nicky hissed at him.

“We’ll clear out if you’ll give us a couple of minutes.”

“No need. We’re going.”

“Aww, mom, but I want to swim!” The little boy whined.

“Not in that cesspool you don’t.” She snatched the little guy by the arm and started back for the gate.

“Oh, come on honey, they weren’t doin’ nothing we ain’t done when…”

“Shut it Hector.” Nicky hissed when her husband tried to intercept. “We’re going.”

Cash scowled when he heard her utter something about Bomars and their filthy ways but he kept his mouth shut. Now wasn’t the time to argue his status. After all, if they’d revealed their presence even a minute later he feared he would have had his dick out right there at the very public swimming pool. He didn’t have a lot of moral high ground with that being the case.

“See ya around, Cash.” Hector waved as he trotted after his family.

“Sorry man.”

“No worries, just maybe take it indoors next time.”

He nodded and watched the gate click shut behind them. The pool was quiet again and they were alone. He turned his attention back to the woman in his arms and winced when he realized she was trembling.

Shit. He’d screwed up. Again. He shouldn’t have pushed but he’d thought she was right there with him. She was the one that had asked him to kiss her but he shouldn’t have given in. It had gotten out of control, fast, just as it always had with them. She wasn’t ready and he might have blown his second chance before she’d ever agreed to really give it to him.