Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates (30 page)

She shook her head.  “Do you have
any idea how safe I feel with you?”  She hesitantly touched his chest.  “You’re
like… my champion.”

“Champion?”  He sounded surprised.

“Yeah.  My knight.  You protect me
when I can’t take care of myself.”

“I usually fail.”

“I don’t expect you to win every
fight, Uriah.  That’s ridiculous.  No one wins every fight, especially not
against the number of enemies that we have a tendency to make.  All I care
about is that you make the attempt.  For me.  When I need you, you step up for
me, and that’s more than I could ever ask.” 

“There isn’t a thing in this world
I wouldn’t do for you.”

“I know.”  Her hand lingered on
him, enjoying the pleasing firmness of his chest and the feel of his heartbeat.

He reached his hand up to the side
of her face and it hovered there for a moment, as if debating with himself
about something.  Then he slid his hand through her hair, almost reverently.  “Oh
my dear God…”  He whispered, his fingers getting tangled in its mass.  “Do you
have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do this?”

“Hopefully not so long that it’s
creepy.”  She tilted her head to the side, loving the feeling of his hand
gently petting her hair. 

He laughed and kissed the top of
her head.  “What is that amazing fragrance, by the way?  I’ve always wanted to
ask.” 

“I call it ‘soap’.”

“It doesn’t smell like soap.”  He
slowly slid a lock of her hair through his thumb and index finger, as if
hypnotized by it for some reason. 

“Not the cheap-ass soap that you
buy, no.”  She snorted.  “Men don’t know anything about soap.  Especially not
pirate men born in a swamp.”

“Whatever it is,” he sighed
dreamily, “I love it.  Please swear to me you’ll never stop using it.”

“I think I can safely make you the
promise that I’ll never give up bathing, Uriah.”  She told him sincerely. 
“It’ll be a sacrifice, but I’ll do it for you.”

“I’m not kidding.”  He laughed.  “I
genuinely find that smell an aphrodisiac.”

“It’s just soap.”

She began to feel the hard evidence
of his arousal pressed against her body, proving the truth of his words.

He realized it at the same moment
and shifted in the chair.  “I’m… sorry.”  He sounded embarrassed.

“I would be severely insulted if
you reacted any other way, ‘Rai.  Relax.”  She kissed his cheek tenderly. 
“Thank you.  It’s okay.”  She shook her head.  “I… I don’t always have the most
confidence with… my appearance.”

“Why not?”

“Well… because my face got cut off,
remember?”  She snorted at his silliness.  “So, believe it or not, knowing that
you…”  She cleared her throat awkwardly, her heart beating so fast it thundered
in her ears.  “…it actually makes me feel… well… good.”

“You make me feel good too, Dove. 
Obviously.”

“Ah.”

They were both quiet again.

He cleared his throat.  “Not to
spoil this moment, but in the interest of full disclosure…if I stay in this
room, I’m not going to be able to keep myself from touching you
inappropriately.” 

“Oh.”

“I know you prefer a warning before
being touched unexpectedly, so…”

“…that was my warning.”  She
finished for him.

“Yes.”

She considered the matter, then
nodded.  “Okay.”

“I know I promised you that I
wouldn’t bring this up again…”  He stopped, sounding amazed.  “Wait… what?”

“Forget what I said in Cormoran.” 
She shook her head frantically.  “I’m an idiot.  Ignore me.”

“How… how drunk are you right now? 
Are we talking like… really drunk or just
sort
of
drunk?”

“I’m moderately sober.  Honest.”  She
held up a hand, as if swearing.  “Or at the very least, I think you can make a
straight-faced argument to me tomorrow morning that I was coherent.  I’ll
probably buy it.  I trust you completely, so I’ll be easy to take advantage of. 
Trust me.”

“I’m not the type to take
advantage.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m really not.” 

“No, you’re really not.”  She reluctantly
agreed, making a face at him.  “Dope.”

“And… and I don’t want to be a
drunken mistake.”

“Really?  That’s too bad…”  She
frowned, pretending to be deep in thought.  “I have no idea who I am, do you realize
that?”

“It’s coming as a complete
surprise.”  He deadpanned.  “I wish you had said something before.”

“No, what I mean is that I could be
anyone.  Have anything.  Have done anything.  And I’d have no idea.  Hell, I
have no idea what you even look like.”  She leaned closer to him, her face
inches from his.  “And right now, I’m sitting on your lap.  You have complete
control over me.  And I’m just trying to decide how best to remove your pants
and get you inside me.”  She smiled.  “How’s
that
for being all
forbidden and sexy, Uriah?” 

“You don’t play fair.”  He sounded
pained.

“I’m a pirate.”

“Every dream I’ve ever had is about
you.”  His voice was deep with lust again.  “You realize that, right?”

“I… I know you think you feel that,
yeah.”

“Oh, come on, Dove.”  He scoffed in
dismissal.  “We don’t have ‘misunderstandings.’  We know each other too well
for that.”  His voice was sincere and matter-of-fact.  “You know I love you. 
You’ve known for a long time now.  Hell, I’ve basically told you like three times
today alone.  If you didn’t know it, you wouldn’t be this scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Yes, you are.  But it’s okay.”

“I… I know you think you love me,
but you don’t, ‘Rai.  This is just… being lonely and feeling responsible for
me.  We’re friends and we’re bored… maybe even a little curious.  And that’s
okay.”

“No.”  He shook his head
emphatically, hard enough that she could feel the action.  “You’re wrong.”  He
put his hand on the side of her face.  “I love you.”

She opened her mouth.  Then closed
it.  Then opened it again.  “I-I-I know what you want me to say, Uriah.  But…”

“No, that’s fine.”  He said, a
twinge of hurt or regret in his tone.  He brushed his thumb down her cheek.  “I
don’t want to hear anything you don’t want to say.” 

“I just…”  She began.

“I know.”  He interrupted.

“I… I can’t…”

“I know.”

Her voice was in danger of
breaking.  “But you
know
that it’s not…”

“I know.”  He assured her.  “And
it’s okay.  You don’t have to be scared or feel bad.  I’m sorry I tried to
press the issue.  I told you I wouldn’t, but I did anyway, because I find you
so...  You’re so irresistible, Dove.  I’m… sorry.  Please don’t feel uncomfortable.” 
He kissed her cheek.  “Hey, I’m not going anywhere.  Not unless you tell me to,
right?”

“That will never happen.”

“Good.”  He swallowed, sounding like
this conversation was literally killing him.  “Then we have nothing to worry
about.  We’re together and all is right with our world.”  He kissed the top of
her head.  “We’re fine.  We’re together and everything’s fine.”

She remained cuddled in his arms
for a moment, then realized that he interpreted her words as the end of their
evening, and was too afraid of scaring her to make a move.

“We could still… we could still fool
around though.”  She offered hesitantly, her voice trembling she was so
nervous.  “I mean… I still want to.  If… if you wanted…”

His lips were on hers before she
even recognized what was happening, his hands pulling her against him.  The
kiss caught her entirely off-guard, slamming into her and making her entire
body surge to life.  His tongue gently teased into her mouth and his lips
plundered hers. 

She let out a soft moan of surprise
and desire, wanting more of him.

He broke the kiss a moment later.  “Are
you going to be pissed at me tomorrow?”

“Probably.”  She breathed, reaching
for him again.  “But it’s not like I won’t forgive you immediately.  And
besides, I promise that I’ll be worth it.”  She kissed him again, deeper this
time, tasting him.  “Besides, you’re drunk too, so it’s fine.”

“I’m in no way inebriated.”  He
mumbled around the kisses.

“Then lie to me!  Come on!”  She
grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer.  “I’ll coach you on just what
you can say to me tomorrow to make me believe you.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

She made an aggravated sound of
pure frustration, once again wishing that she had a shovel to hit him with.  “I
swear to the gods, Uriah, sometimes…”  She took a calming breath so that she
didn’t strangle him.  “Sometimes I just don’t understand how you could have
ever lasted this long in this line of work.  Your damn conscience is just…” 
She playfully slapped his forehead with her palm, but ended up hitting him
harder than she’d intended.  “…lame.  It’s so fucking lame.”

“Do you think this is easy for me?” 
His voice had a raw edge to it.  “Do you?  That I can just…”  He trailed off,
as if overcome and then kissed her again.  “But I’d protect you from anyone. 
Even myself.” 

“I’m literally embarrassed for you
right now.”  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “I’m throwing myself at you
and…”

“You don’t…  You don’t understand.” 
He touched her face again.  “I’ve stolen everything I’ve got, Rance.  I’ve had
to take it and fight to keep it, because it wasn’t really mine.  It never
really belonged to
me
, because I’ve never really had anything.  My ship…
my clothes… and from a certain perspective... even your partnership.  I stole
all of that from someone else.  And now, you’re asking me to take advantage of
your drunkenness, and steal what I would most cherish in this world.  And I
don’t… I don’t want to do that.  I won’t steal something I hope to one day be
given.” 

“You wouldn’t be stealing
anything.”

“There would still be an asterisks
attached to it though.  You said so yourself.  You’ll probably be angry with me
tomorrow, because you’ll either know this was wrong or you’re try to deny I’m
feeling what I’m feeling.”

“Do you honestly think I didn’t
know what was going to happen when I asked you to stay, Uriah?”  She demanded. 
“Does that sound like me?  No.  And that was before I ever had a drop to
drink.”

“Look, this isn’t emotional
blackmail, Dove.  I’m not trying to make you feel bad.  I’m simply saying that
I don’t want to take advantage, because I want to be able to look at myself in
the mirror tomorrow.”

“Well, I don’t have that problem. 
I don’t need to…”  She had a sudden realization and her mouth literally hung
open in surprise.  “Holy shit… you’re scared.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”  He didn’t sound at all convincing.

“Yes, you do.”  She poked him in
the chest with her finger.  “You
know
I’m not so drunk that I don’t know
what I’m doing.  You’ve seen me
waaaaay
drunker than this and never
doubted me.  You once put me in charge of doing complex math when I was too
drunk to speak.  But now you’re going to pretend like I don’t know what I’m
doing, simply because you’re afraid of what might happen as a result.  And you
can give me all the big speeches you want, all about how you love me and are
willing to wait and that you’re just protecting me, but that’s bullshit.  That
is complete bullshit!  What I’m
really
hearing is that you don’t trust
me.  You’re terrified of taking a chance with me here.”

“Uh...”  He shrugged.  “Okay, that’s
the long and short of it, yeah.”  He paused, looking for a way to explain it.  “You
are the only pure thing in my whole shithole existence.  And for once in my
goddamn life, I want to do something right.  And I’m afraid if I do this, I’ll
never get you to say what I want you to say.  What I need you to say.”  His
voice softened.  “And… and I want to be wanted.”  He admitted, sheepishly.  “No
one has wanted me in their life since I was 7 years old, okay?  People tolerate
me or want me around because of what I can do for them, but no one wants
me. 
I don’t want to feel like a mistake anymore.
 I just want to feel
like I belong somewhere.  Belong to someone.” 

“Are you seriously holding your
body ransom until I admit that I love you?”

“Yes.”  He kissed her again.  “So
it appears.  Kidnapping is a specialty of mine, after all.  Besides,” he
cleared his throat, like he was trying desperately to convince himself of
something, “you’re drunk…”

“I’m only
sorta
drunk.”

“You’re drunk enough that it would
be wrong.  And… and you say you don’t love me.  Which robs the act of the
meaning I want from it.  It makes me afraid that I’m going to put myself out
there and then…”

“In any other circumstances, that
would be a beautiful speech.”  She assured him, still pissed off.  “But as it
is, I kind of want to hit you.”

“Me too.”

“I could
make you,
you
know.”  She arched an eyebrow.  “Once I take your pants off, you won’t have the
strength to say no.  We both know it.  Not after I
show you
what I can
do for you.  I’m obviously not very experienced at this, but I’ve got some ideas
I think you’d
really
like, Uriah.”

“I’m positive I would, yes.  If you
tried, I don’t think I would possibly have the strength to say no.”  He
straightened in his chair.  “But I’m saying ‘no’
now
.”  He chuckled in
delight.  “Still, kudos for being the only woman I’ve ever met who would
threaten to rape me when I decline her advances.”

“I’m a pirate.”  She shrugged.  “I
don’t deal well with rejection.”

“This isn’t a rejection.  I’m
merely postponing your offer until such time as we’re both certain.”

“I’m certain now.”  There was no
doubt in her mind.

“No, you’re not.  You think you
are, but you’re not.”

Her anger rose to the surface
again.  “Are you telling me what I’m feeling now?”