Nothing to Lose (24 page)

Erica was getting visibly uncomfortable. “My job at the Pentagon sucked and he was paying me more to do less stressful work.”

“Well,” Alex said, “I believe in him. Besides, I'd do anything to keep you out of danger, Erica.”

When their eyes met this time, it was more intense, not awkward at all. Erica felt a pull in the pit of her stomach, which drew her closer to him on the sofa. Without hesitating, he reached for her face, guiding it to his, and placed his mouth gently on hers. The kiss was soft and tender as their lips pressed against each other.

Having first come to him without a second thought, Erica suddenly realized what she was doing. She was kissing a man for the first time in forever and it felt . . . wrong.

She quickly pushed away and jumped up from the sofa.

“What?” Alex asked.

She turned her back to him, heading to her door. She couldn't exactly explain why, but she was embarrassed by her own behavior and couldn't look him in the face.

“I'm sorry.” Alex quickly got up from the sofa and rushed over to her. “I thought . . . I misread you.”

“It's not your fault,” she offered.

Erica finally looked at him and felt awful at the expression on his face. He looked so guilty, like he'd done something terribly wrong.

“You didn't read me wrong,” she assured him. “I promise you, Alex.”

“Then what?” he pleaded.

“I just can't do this,” she said. “I'm really emotional right now over Terrell and everything. There's just a lot going on.”

“I didn't mean to add to your problems,” he said.

“You don't,” she said, wondering if there was anything she could say that wouldn't make him feel bad. “Honestly, Alex, you're like the only good thing in my life right now. Everything else is stress or worry or lies or secrets. I just don't think I want anything . . . romantic right now.”

Alex's disappointment was evident, but only for a second. He quickly recovered, with a kind and understanding expression on his face.

“I just want to make sure you're not mad at me about that whole thing with Terrell,” he said.

She shook her head. “Your heart was in the right place. You're a good guy, Alex. I worry about you being so close to Jonah.”

“I may be a few years younger than you,” he said, “but I'm not a kid. I can handle myself.”

“So can I,” she said. “So the next time Jonah asks you to do something for me, just say ‘no.' ”

“I promise.” He placed his hand to his chest. “So you'll come to work tomorrow, yes?”

Erica nodded.

After he finally left, Erica was trying to examine her own feelings, but she couldn't figure it out. It had been a long time since she'd kissed Terrell, since she'd felt enough attraction to a guy to want to kiss him. So, why had that kiss upset her so much?

Was it just seeing Terrell the other day? Was it because Jonah disapproved of them together? Was it as simple as their working together made this a bad choice? Erica didn't know, but she needed to figure it out. A guy like Alex didn't come around often.

 

Sherise was on her way back to work, with her lunch in hand, her mind focused solely on Elena and what she'd been able to find out from her trip to the health club. She had a big speech to edit for Northman, who was speaking at the largest media convention in the country, so she had to try and let it go for now. There were so many eggs in her basket right now that it was overwhelming.

And then there was the most important egg of them all. As she saw a woman walking, with her hands guiding the stroller that held her new twin boys, Sherise's hand automatically went to her own belly. She was just approaching three months, and it would soon be okay to tell everyone, even though it really wasn't a secret to anyone.

She felt like such a bad mother for not spending enough time thinking about this baby and preparing for it. She'd been taking her vitamins and had gone to the doctor. She would be getting her first ultrasound soon; she hoped Justin was looking forward to it as much as she was.

She smiled at the thought of having a boy. She knew how much Justin treasured Cady. She was the jewel of his whole heart, but she felt like it would be just perfect to give him a son. She'd like a boy. After all, almost every mother who had both told her that boys were much easier to deal with than girls were at almost every age. Cady was such a little diva already; Sherise felt it was better to have just one diva to deal with.

She was thinking about all the new clothes she would need to buy, when her phone rang. She reached into her pocket and looked at the ID. It was Beth Martin, her favorite private investigator and the one she used most often. Everyone who was anyone in
D.C.
had a favorite PI. You had to know who it was that you were really dealing with around here, and everyone was a liar.

“Beth,” she said upon answering. “What do you have for me?”

“I was there,” she said. “Bartholdi Park.”

“Elena met with Dennis?”

“I couldn't hear their conversation—where they met was too remote. There weren't any nearby benches or anyplace I could be without being suspicious.”

Sherise was disappointed to hear that. What good was any of it without overhearing what they said? “Don't you have one of those devices to hear from far away?”

“Didn't work. They picked a bad time. There were a lot of people walking, running, talking, dogs barking, birds, all that.”

“So, what did you get?”

“They kissed,” Beth said.

Sherise stopped in the middle of the sidewalk; her mouth dropped open. “They kissed? Are you serious? A for-real kiss?”

“Yes. Well, it was clearly more earnest on his part than hers. She seemed to be annoyed and didn't want anyone seeing. He seemed a little desperate.”

“So that's how she got him on her side.” Sherise made a smacking sound with her lips as she shook her head.
Men are easy.
“Dennis's wife left him over a year ago. He's hard up for anything. A pretty young thing like her comes around, and, of course—”

“I'll have to look more into that,” Beth said.

“First, we figure out Denton,” Sherise said.

“Denton is in Texas, like you thought. If you're right about her accent, then that's definitely where she's from. There are a lot of women around her age in that area named Elena Brown. Who would have thought it would be so popular?”

“But how many of them have a sister named Rose?” Sherise asked.

“Exactly,” Beth said. “I'll have that information very soon. We'll know what's behind lying about Denton.”

“I have a feeling that's the key to everything,” Sherise said. “I don't know why she would target Justin. He has nothing to do with Texas or anyone from there, but my gut instinct tells me that when we find out who she is, and why she lied about where she's from, we'll get our answers.”

“I'll get back to you as soon as I can, Sherise.”

When Sherise hung up the phone, her hand was still on her belly and she started again for the office.
By the time this baby gets here, everything is going to be back to the way it was before. No, it will be better than it was before.

What more could a mother ask for?

“You're not gonna finish?” Tara asked Billie, pointing to her plate.

Billie squinted her nose, shaking her head. She pushed away her plate, which contained a large waffle sandwich of tomato, mozzarella, and basil.

“It's just not calling my name,” she said.

“Aw.” Tara frowned. “Now I feel bad for picking this place.”

Tara's choice for their second get-together that week was a waffle restaurant, which made both basic and elaborate sandwiches using waffles as the bread. Billie wasn't crazy about the idea, but their first meeting was dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tara wasn't very comfortable. She wanted her to pick where they'd meet from now on.

“It doesn't matter,” Billie said, smiling. “I'm just happy to be with you. I don't care where we eat.”

The almost sixteen-year old—with glowing, beautiful dark brown skin, her father's piercing eyes, and tiny features—looked annoyed. “You're not going to start crying and kiss me again, like you did Thursday night?”

“Was I that embarrassing?” Billie asked.

“Yes, you were,” Tara insisted.

“But I missed my little girl,” Billie said.

She'd been so happy to see Tara that she couldn't contain herself. She kissed her and hugged her, holding her tightly. The tears came immediately; and although Tara was happy to see Billie, the teen expressed complete embarrassment at her onetime stepmother's display of affection.

They spent dinner catching up. Billie was relieved to find out that Tara's life in Detroit hadn't been that bad. She was getting along with her grandmother and had made some friends at the private school she attended. She was still sad not to be “home” anymore. She missed her friends. She even missed Porter, even though she was still very mad at him for shipping her off.

It was all a great distraction for Billie, who was hurting over Michael. She'd expected him to call her; but after a couple of days, he hadn't. She'd been trying to reach him, but got his voice mail. An e-mail was not returned and her texts were ignored. As every day passed, she believed she'd really lost him.

But there was Tara, who made her heart warm and allowed her to smile and feel good for the short time they were able to spend together. This little girl was saving her life right now.

Billie's phone, resting on the table, vibrated. She quickly checked it, hoping it was Michael, but it was just work. She ignored it and tried to remove the disappointment from her mind.

“Stop calling me your ‘little girl'!” Tara smiled as she said this, showing that she was actually touched despite what she was saying.

“I have to stop, don't I?” Billie responded. “You're not a little girl anymore. You've grown so much just since you left, and it hasn't even been a year.”

Tara's smile faded as she looked away and a veil of sadness took over her face.

“Am I ever coming back?” she asked.

Billie was touched by the innocence in Tara's face as she asked that question. Her eyes widened and she looked afraid to be hopeful.
Poor child. This all has to be so confusing to her.

“It's been hard on you,” Billie said. “I'm sorry about that.”

“No one will tell me what's going on,” she said. “Daddy gets pissed at me and sends me away. He even won't let me be friends with you on Facebook!”

Billie was getting angry at the thought of this. It was all Porter's fault.
Doesn't he love his own daughter?

“I think things are going to get clearer soon,” she said.

“I mean,” she continued, “it's weird, because all of a sudden he says he wants me to come visit him, so I come out here and he's just . . . He is just in a really bad mood and doesn't really want to do anything.”

“For now,” Billie said, “all that matters is that you're here. We'll work on making sense of all the stuff that's confusing.”

It bothered Billie that Porter's mood was upsetting Tara, but was that her fault? He was reaping the seeds he'd sown. The fact that Tara was upset about it was his fault and only made Billie angrier with him.

“I don't know what I did,” Tara said. “I just feel like—”

“No.” Billie sat forward in her chair, looking intently into Tara's eyes. “You didn't do anything. Tara, don't let anyone tell you that you did.”

“Obviously, I did,” Tara said. “He sent me away because you told him about Greg wanting to . . . you know, do it with me, and now—”

“He sent you away because he was afraid of dealing with you as a father,” Billie said. “It wasn't your fault. God, I was so afraid you'd think that. I can't believe this has been festering inside of you all this time. This is why I begged him to let me see you, because I knew you worried about—”

“Shhhh,”
Tara quickly said as she sat up, looking behind Erica.

“Are you ready?” was all Porter asked when he reached their table.

He ignored Billie, but she wasn't going to let him get away with this. He was doing irreversible damage to Tara and it was going to stop.

“We're not finished, are we?” Billie asked Tara.

Tara shrugged. “I'm done, I guess. I gotta go to the bathroom, though.”

“Fine,” Porter said shortly. “Hurry up, and we'll leave. I'll wait for you in the car.”