Nova (18 page)

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Well I won’t.”

“It’s driving cars, Nov—”

“Don’t try to make it sound like it’s not a big deal. And it’s not just ‘driving cars.’ It’s
racing
cars. Racing cars in a restricted space with…who knows how many drivers! It’s dangerous. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s one of the most dangerous careers out there, isn’t it? And if you tell me this is what you do all day—racing cars and not actually working in an ‘office’—I’m going to be even more pissed because—”

“I’m a professional
driver, but I don’t race everyday
, Nova. Yes I have an office job
right now
. It’s the job that I talk to you about and discuss things with you about. I didn’t make it up. I’m barely up there
in a slot to race anything big
at the moment
; I just do smaller races for now. The amount of time I have to spend is—
”

“What do you mean ‘for now’? Don’t even tell me that you plan on racing for NASCAR or something, Austin. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Well, techni
cally I already race for NASCAR
.”

I just stared at him, totally confused
.

“
I’m licens
ed to drive for NASCAR. For
two years
I
raced in the Grand National division, and went on to the All-Star Showdown at the Speedway.”

I sighed with mixed feelings. I was proud of him for whatever accomplishment
that meant, but I definitely wasn’t sold on the idea of Austin racing. I sat there for a while, mulling over information as I recalled it. Thinking back I guess I could see little things here and there that supported the whole “Austin races cars” idea.
With all the competition talk and race talk that went on in the stables, I probably didn’t even think twice about any slip about racing when it was about cars. Whether it was amongst his family or other times,
I just didn’t catch on.

Austin reached over and took my hand
across the table. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand where all of this fits in. How can you have, like, three jobs and squeeze
in racing too? And me? How do you fit
me
in?
”

“Easily, because I can’t be without you. And I finished up the details for the diner, and I’m actually done working for Marcus. So technically I’m down to one job and my vacation
each weekend
here,” he smiled.

“And? Where does racing fit in?”

He shrugged. “
I haven’t really raced that much this year. I just started up again a few months ago. Kind
of
at the same time I met you.
”

“And how can you race
for
NASCAR, or a division or whatever that means, if you’re not doing it regularly?”

“Well,
I had surgery the end of January. I had to take some time to recover and then get cleared.”

“Surgery for what?”

“My shoulder.”

I nodded, aware that he’d had surgery for a torn ligament.
“And how
did that happen? And if you tell me it was from a racing accident—”

“Playing football,” he interrupted with a tiny smile. “Didn’t I tell you that?”

“Oh yeah.”

We were both aware that other people were milling around the house, so I wasn’t surprised when he said, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

I nodded and stood up with him. I cleaned up the
kitchen
counter where I was working, and after he took his plate to the sink and stuck a piece of watermelon in his mouth, he led me to the den.

He sat on the couch and patted the space next to him. I was tempted to refuse
because I was still feeling cantankerous
, but I sat down and partially faced him.

“I started out consulting with Marcus,” he began. “That was my first job
outside of the ranch
while I was still going to college
. I
started racing when
I was eighteen, found my own sponsors, and did it as much as school and my job allowed. When I began racing
more, I worked for Marcus less. H
e even helped sponsor me. I had two great years of racing, started out
practicing
pretty
well
this January, and then hurt my shoulder. That’s kind of how I started working at the Speedway. I knew the guys there pretty well,
and Hank knew I had my MB
A.
He hired me to work on a few marketing projects, so I agreed. A few projects turned into a few more, and I started working
there
full time. But then I got cleared to race and…started competing again.”

“How many races since I’ve known you?”

He paused for just a second and then replied, “Well, I guess about six.”

“
Six
?”

“Well four of them were before you and I were really ‘together’
—t
wo were when I was still courting you at the diner
,
” he smiled
, “a
nd then two weekends in a row after you started working here.”

I considered that for a moment, understanding why he didn’t come home those weekends. I thought it had to do with me blowing him off the week before, but he was really just racing?
But wait, he was gone
three
weekends that month… Maybe one of them really was to avoid me.

“
Now I’m racing with the K&N Pro Series again, like I was a year ago.
I do hav
e a race tomorrow,” he
seemed to add as a side note
. “
It’s at Infineon. Well, Sonoma.
I’d like
you to come.”

“No.”

He studied me for a few seconds, but I guess he realized I was serious.
“Even if I beg you?
”

“I don’t like it, Austin.
”

He didn’t reply,
but
I could tell that I had totally let him down.

I moved closer to him on the couch and laid my head on his shoulder. “You do remember that my mom died in a car accident, right?” I asked quietly.

He’d kissed my head, but after I said that, he was still. After several seconds I sat up and looked at him just as he said, “I’m sorry, Nova. I didn’t even- it should have occurred to me—”

“I understand, but just so you know… Even if I can’t make you stop racing, I don’t think I can come watch you, Austin. I just…don’t know if I could handle it.”

He nodded but didn’t reply, and then he put his arm around me and we sat in silence for a minute. I knew why I didn’t want him to race, and I considered sharing how I felt about him, but I wasn’t very confident about adding more to the current mix. Maybe I expected him to quit racing just for me, but what if he’d asked me to quit school or stop working on the ranch? Was it the same thing?

I didn’t think it was. For one, school and
a
career
were reasonable. Racing cars was not.

The next morning I was faced with a tough decision. All night I’d thought about Austin and my relationship with him. Even though watching him race a car was not my first choice, I felt like I was being selfish. I knew my reasons were
legitimate
, but I also knew that I wanted to be anywhere that Austin was, and if he wanted me to be present when he could very possibly crash a car and die, I felt like I owed him that much. I knew I was being overdramatic, at least I hoped I was, but I was still a little upset about the whole
thing
. Upset, but really worried at the same time.

I caught his family before they were about to leave.
Sam was surprised to see me as she was about to get into the SUV, but she waited for me to approach before she asked, “Nova? Are you…? Will you come with us?”

I sighed and said, “Yes, I’d like to come. I mean…
not really
.”

She smiled and nodded her head, and as we got in the vehicle,
Marlo
said, “Nova, it took me a long time to get used to this. A very long time.”

“You’re still not used to it,” Dave said as he put the
Tahoe
in gear.

“No, not really. I mean I’m used to him racing, but it still
makes my
stomach
tense
.”

I knew what she meant and I hadn’t even been to a race. Sam was
busy
on her phone texting, so I looked back at Katie and asked, “What about you? What do you think of Austin racing?”

She barely shrugged and said, “I think it’s cool.”

I groaned to myself, not sure if she really understood how dangerous it was. Was I that naïve when I was sixteen?

“Austin’s pretty stoked you’re coming,” Sam said, holding up her phone to me. I
t
read:
Seriously? That’s awesome! Bring her to see me before the race.

Sam had a great big smile on her face,
and I’ll admit that I felt a little tenderheart
ed that Austin was so excited. B
ut at the same time I felt really anxious. I had no idea what to expect.

Apparently Sam was pretty familiar with the whole race scene because she took me straight to
where
Austin
was with his
team
. She didn’t stick around and just told me where I could find everyone when I was done, but she wished Austin luck
and gave him a hug. I was still a little tentative about
joining the small group he seemed to have around him, but after Sam left, Austin came over and took me in his arms.

“I’m so glad you came,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “I know you don’t want to be here, but it means a lot to me that you are.”

I wasn’t sure what to reply so I just nodded my head. I didn’t want to lie and say I was glad to be there
,
because I wasn’t, but I also didn’t want to get into why I
was
there.

“Let me introduce you to a few people,” he said, leading me over to the other guys. He took a minute to familiarize me
with some of his team members—f
rom his team manager, Tristan, to a few of the mechanics
,
and
then
Gerardo, his driving coach.
Most of the guys were friendly, but there was one that seemed a little brash. I kind of took offense to
him
at first, especially because he made a co
mment about my name. B
ut then I learned that he was another driver on the team
,
and
I
wondered if he was just upset
that he wasn’t driving
that race
or something. I didn’t know how those things were decided
,
but
I tried not to let it bother me
.

Austin walked me a distance away from the group so we could have some privacy. Just by his actions I could tell that he was really happy I was there and that kind of made things a little better. I was still really nervous about watching him race and I was pretty sure nothing was going to take away my fears.

After talking with me for a few minutes he said, “I better get back to my team.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks for coming, Nova. Really.”
I only nodded, and it made him smile. “You look like you want to throw up,” he chuckled. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m just really nervous for you. I mean…aren’t you nervous?”

It was his turn to shrug, and he replied, “I’m excited; not nervous though. I just get out on the track and…have fun. It’s just like anybody that plays a professional sport. You’re excited and an
xious to get out there and play.
It’s competition, doing something you love.”

“I think you enjoy the adrenaline rush.”

“Yeah, that too,” he smiled.

“I think you’re an adrenaline junkie.”

He
laughed
and said, “And what kinds of
things did my parents tell you?
”

I raised my eyebrows and asked, “What kinds of things are there to tell?”

He paused for a few seconds before his smile slowly returned. “Well, I gotta join my team. And when I’m done with this race, you and I
have a date.”

“We do, huh?
”

“Yep.
” He pulled me close and ki
ssed me. “I’m glad you’re here, so take a deep breath and try to relax. If you’re a big girl and don’t freak out, I have a surprise for you later.”