Numbers (10 page)

“You matter to me too. What made you look so sad?”

He shifted his arms closer to her sides and pinned her under
him more firmly. He just wanted to hold her. “I don’t want to tell you.”

She twisted under him and put space between their faces. She
gripped his cheeks and turned his head. He allowed it, meeting her gaze.

“You can talk to me about anything, Mourn. Remember?”

He nodded. “I need to remove this condom. Jinx said it’s
important to throw it away right after we share sex. Let me go and I’ll be
right back.”

She released him and he withdrew his cock from her body. Thinking
of 139 had softened him. He walked into the bathroom to dispose of the condom
in the trash, and washed his hands. He found Dana sitting up on the bed when he
returned. He took a seat next to her. Both of them remained naked. He couldn’t
look at her though, instead he studied his hands.

“What is it?” She inched closer and surprised him by curling
her bent knees around his hip, leaning in and putting her face in front of his.
He lifted his gaze.

“I don’t want you to replace 139. I want with you what I
never had with her.” He hoped she didn’t become upset or angry at his words.

Dana looked confused.

He rushed on before she could speak. “There were things that
weren’t right between 139 and me. I am sorry I thought about that just now. I
hope you aren’t angry. I realized that what we share is better than what I had
with her.”

Dana pulled away, and his shoulders sagged. He’d upset her.
She’d leave and go home. Possibly refuse to see him anymore. It tore him up
inside. She surprised him when she straddled his lap. He straightened and
wrapped his arms around her as she settled her ass on his thighs. Her hands
rested on his shoulders and she leaned in closer.

“I’m not angry.”

“Have I hurt you because I spoke of 139?”

“No. Tommy and 139 were important to us. I’m just trying to
understand what you mean. You can talk to me about her, Mourn. She was your
mate. You’re still grieving. So am I. We’re going to think about them, and I’d
rather we be open about it. Wouldn’t you?”

He nodded, holding her a little tighter.

“Tell me what you were thinking. We’ll start there.”

“I tried to be a good mate to her, but I failed. She didn’t
like me holding her. I like it that you do.”

Dana lifted one hand and brushed her fingers through his
hair. “I like you holding me. I don’t think you failed, Mourn. Maybe she wasn’t
into cuddling. Some people aren’t. That’s nothing bad on you.”

“She asked Destiny to hold her near the end.”

Dana looked confused again. “Who is that?”

“He’s a primate male nurse. He helped teach me how to care
for her, and would come almost every day to check on her. She talked to him
more than she ever did to me, and she asked him to hold her as she died. It
hurt me deeply, but it was what she wanted so I allowed him to lift her onto
his lap and cradle her against his chest as she took her last breaths.”

Dana paled, appearing shocked and horrified. “Mourn, I’m so
sorry.”

“Destiny said not to take it personally. She was on pain
medication, and not thinking clearly. He said it might have been instinctual
for her to want to be held by another primate as she died.”

“I’m sure he was right.”

Mourn wouldn’t lie to Dana. “He was being kind. There were
other primates there. Some of the females had come to be with her. She didn’t
ask them to hold her. It was Destiny she reached for. Halfpint touched me by
taking my hand. She fears males, but she must have seen how it hurt me, having
to watch my mate die in another’s arms.”

“Who is Halfpint?”

“She’s one of the Gifts. They bonded to 139. My mate was the
only primate female rescued who wasn’t a Gift.”

“What’s a gift?”

“Species who were created with domesticated, smaller animals
and DNA from small humans. They were designed to be small and weak. They were
to be given to the humans who invested a lot of money with Mercile Industries.
They were gifted to them. Some thought of them as pets, others knew they
weren’t strong enough to fight back if…when they were sexually attacked. They
kept them locked up inside their homes.”

She looked horrified again.

He nodded. “Halfpint fears all males. She was heavily abused
by the human who owned her. She still held my hand. That was comforting.”

“I’m glad she was there for you.”

He took a deep breath and blew it out. “We have total
honesty, Dana. My mate never looked at me or touched me the way you do. I know
you worry that I want you to take her place in my life, but I want more than
what I had. I am truly happy when I’m with you. For the first time in my life.”

She stroked his hair and leaned closer. “Oh baby. I’m so
sorry.” Tears shimmered in her eyes.

“I know you can never say the same to me since you had a
very close bond with your mate, but I hope that one day you will look at me and
not wish it was him holding you instead.”

“You’re breaking my heart,” she whispered. “Stop. Never say
that again. That’s not true. I have never wished he was here instead of you.
Not once. You’re Mourn. You’re sweet and kind. You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever
met. There’s no comparison. You make me happy and you make me feel alive.
That’s your doing. Do you understand?”

Her words helped, but they were being honest. “He was a good
mate, and you had no lack of anything with him.”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t say that. I mean, he was
good to me, but we had problems too, Mourn. Everyone does in a relationship.”

“You’re saying that to make me feel better.”

“No. I’m not.” She released his hair and put her hand back
on his shoulder, holding his gaze. “Do you want to hear some of my marital
problems?”

“You had some?”

“Everyone does.” She paused. “Tommy always had to have
things his way. He wasn’t pushy or mean about it, but don’t think he wouldn’t
use humor and a lot of cajoling to get me to agree to whatever he wanted. He
insisted I be at his side at the company he ran, despite knowing I didn’t want
to work there. I had to put my career on hold. I resented it some, because I
was always the one to bend and give in to what he wanted. He also liked to
impress people and was very social. I didn’t care what everyone thought, and
I’m not outgoing. We sometimes had arguments about that. He’d just smile and
tell me how much he loved me, and that I’d make him happy if I tried a little
harder to fit into the lifestyle he wanted. Sometimes that hurt me. Why didn’t
my happiness matter? I was downright miserable at times, but I had to smile and
bear it because it was important to him. He figured if it was important to him,
it had to be important to me too. That never went both ways though. I was aware
of it, but I wanted our marriage to work.”

“Did he ever abuse you, Dana?”

“No. Tommy wasn’t like that. He never would have hit me, or
anything along those lines. He was just kind of selfish about certain things.
He would actually make jokes about it, and he could be very charming to get me
to stop being upset with him. Sometimes I resented that too. All his snobby
friends ditched him as soon as they realized he wasn’t going to beat the cancer
the second time. I felt bad for him, Mourn. In the end he finally realized what
was really important. That was us spending time together. He tried hard to make
it up to me.”

He stroked her back, wanting to comfort her. “At least he
was human. I’m not. Does that bother you? You’d have to give up the world you
live in to be with me. I’m asking too much and being selfish, aren’t I?”

“No.” She shook her head and smiled. “That’s not being
selfish. That’s a necessity, and it’s beyond your control, Mourn. You can’t
exactly move into my house. Not to mention, I really enjoyed what we just did.
You being New Species made mind-blowing oral sex happen, and did I tell you
that you have the best body I’ve ever seen? You’re beautiful in every sense of
the word.”

He chuckled, his mood lightening. “You like the purring.”

“I do.”

“I love your taste.” He glanced down at her thighs, which
were spread over his lap, and reached to stroke her pussy with his finger. He
looked up, watching her face. “I’m grateful you enjoy my touch.”

She bit her lower lip and her eyes narrowed. A soft moan
came from her and he suddenly flipped her over onto her back. He spread her
thighs and slid down her. She liked his mouth, and he planned to show her how
being his mate had its advantages.

“I could do this to you for hours.” He used his tongue to
play with her clit.

“Mourn,” she rasped.

She was his female. He purred deeply and gripped her thighs
to hold them open when she started to rock her hips against his mouth. He had
her for the night, and he planned to make it a memorable one.

Dana entered Paul’s house, hoping he’d already left for
work. She wasn’t that lucky. He sat at the island on a barstool with his laptop
open in front of him and a cup of coffee in hand. He turned his head and looked
at her, and then at the clock on the wall. His mouth tightened into a grim line
as he glared at her.

“I probably should have called last night to say I was
spending the night at Mourn’s, but you knew where I was so you shouldn’t have
worried.” She closed the door. “Where is Becky?”

“At the women’s dorm. They are watching movies this morning.
She would have taken you with her to meet everyone, but someone didn’t come
home last night.”

Dana entered the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
She took the time to add creamer before she faced him. “Mourn told me you had a
talk with him. Really, Paul? I’m an adult.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near him.”

“At least he’s not like that base tramp you brought to my
wedding and dated for six months. How many of your service buddies had she
slept with before she sank her hooks into you? She was looking for a soldier to
marry. Any soldier. Didn’t they warn you about those kinds of women when you
signed up?”

“I wasn’t going to marry her. I made that clear. That has
nothing to do with this.”

“It does. I didn’t ride your ass for dating her or threaten
her about what I’d do to her if she hurt you. You were an adult and knew her
history. I gave you enough credit to be too smart to fall into that honey trap.
Mourn actually cares about me.”

Paul cursed. “I knew he’d tell you that I threatened him.”

That pissed her off. “Actually, he didn’t. I was just using
that as an example of what I wanted to do to that woman but I resisted. You
threatened him? Paul!” She glared at him.

He shrugged. “I’m trying to protect you.”

She sipped her coffee so she wouldn’t round the island and
punch him. It was tempting. She set the mug down on the counter and took a few
calming breaths. “I don’t need you to do that. I appreciate it, but stay out of
this.”

He slid off the barstool. “I’m worried about you.”

“I get that. It’s why I haven’t smacked you. I can’t believe
you threatened him.”

“I had to talk to him about something important. You don’t
understand.”

“You mean about using condoms so I don’t get pregnant?”

His jaw dropped.

“He told me the truth. I won’t repeat it, and only brought
it up because we’re alone in the house. Mourn is a good guy, Paul. I know what
I’m getting into with him. I’ll say it again. I feel things for him, and I want
to see if our relationship can work. Cut me some slack. I get enough shit from
our mother. I don’t need you trying to run my life too.”

Paul seemed to recover. “I can’t believe he told you about
the babies. It’s classified.”

“He trusts me. I wish you would.”

“I couldn’t tell you. I swore an oath of secrecy, Dana.”

“I’m not talking about NSO classified information. I wish
you’d trust my judgment. I’m falling in love with Mourn. I know more about his
past than you do. He didn’t have anyone he could talk to and open up with. Now
he does. He was self-destructive, but not anymore. I understand exactly what
he’s going through, and guess what? We’re good for each other.”

“You deserve someone who is going to love you first and
foremost. He had a mate.” Paul lifted his hand and scrubbed it over the back of
his head. “They aren’t like married people. I don’t know how to get my point
across, but I’m terrified you’re going to be unhappy in the long run.” He
dropped his hand to his side. “I don’t want him to break your heart because he
expects you to fill a dead woman’s shoes.”

She sighed, all her anger gone. “I had the same fears, but
guess what?”

Paul waited, watching her.

“We both discovered that our marriages weren’t all that
perfect, okay? He told me about his problems with his mate, and I told him
about my issues with Tommy. Neither of us wants to duplicate that. We both want
better than what we had.”

He frowned. “What? But they were mated. I’ve never seen an
unhappy mated pair.”

“Were you around 139 and Mourn?”

“Not much. They were moved into couples housing after they
were freed. We wanted 139 to be more comfortable in a home setting instead of
having to live at Medical. Destiny was the nurse assigned to check in on her
since she wasn’t comfortable with me, because I’m human.”

“They weren’t that happy,” she confessed. “I’m not going to
give you details, but I’ll say that much so you’ll back off.”

“What problems did you have with Tommy?”

She sipped her coffee. “It wasn’t all roses, okay? We had
rough patches.”

“You never told me that. You always seemed so happy.”

“Do you call me to bitch about something Becky has done to
piss you off or hurt your feelings?”

“No.”

“Exactly. I’m not looking to replace Tommy. Mourn and I are
totally different together than we were with Tommy and 139. That’s one of the
things that attracts us to each other.” She set down her cup and walked up to
her brother. “Stop being such a butthead and back off on the big-brother
routine, okay? I’d like for you to give Mourn a chance. No more threatening him
or trying to break us up.”

“I just wish you’d chosen someone else.”

“Get over it.”

Paul nodded. “I’m just worried.”

“Don’t be. Mourn would never hurt me. He’s really sweet,
Paul. I wish you could see him the way I do. He makes me happy. He makes me
feel alive.”

“I take it you’re going to keep seeing him no matter what I
say?”

“Yes. Do you want me to go stay with him instead of here? I
don’t want to put you out if you’re uncomfortable with me seeing Mourn.”

“I wish you wouldn’t live with him. You can stay as long as
you want.”

“Thank you.” She reached up and patted the side of his face.
He flinched away when she did it a little too hard the second time.

“Ouch. What was that for?”

“Don’t threaten him again.”

He rubbed his cheek. “You’re mean.”

“It could have been worse. I was thinking about going for
the shorthairs on the back of your neck.” Dana turned around and returned to
her coffee. She lifted the mug to take a sip, but Paul’s next words froze her
in place.

“Mom called this morning. You’re not going to like what I’m
about to say.”

She lifted her gaze. “What did she want?”

He cleared his throat. “She informed me that she plans to
fly out here today.”

Dana gawked at him.

“I know. She’s never visited here before. I got the
impression she’s pissed that you didn’t come home when she expected you to.”

“I’m not a kid.” She thought about how her mother would
react to her dating a New Species. “Shit. Tell me you talked her out of it.”

“I tried.”

“Did you tell her that you’re only allowed one visitor at
Homeland at a time? We came up with that lie together so she wouldn’t be
tempted come with me, remember?”

“I told her that.”

She blew out a relieved breath. “Thanks.”

“So she said she’d stay at the local motel a few blocks
away.”

“No!”

“I even pointed out that there are no fancy hotels around
this area, and it’s a dive motel. She still insisted on coming. She must really
be worried that you’ll decide to move to California to be closer to us. Can you
imagine our mother staying in a motel?”

Dana shook her head. “I’m calling her.” She slammed down the
mug, spilling coffee on the counter, and snatched up Paul’s kitchen phone to
dial. It rang four times before the answering machine picked up. She waited for
the beep. “Mom? It’s Dana. Pick up.”

She waited but the machine finally cut her off by
disconnecting the call. Dana cursed, staring at Paul. “She’s not home, or she’s
ignoring the call.”

“Or she already got on a plane and is headed here.”

“Shit!” Dana put down the phone and paced. “I told her I
needed space. She was driving me nuts.”

“That probably didn’t help alleviate her fears. She depends
on you to be close to her.”

Dana stopped striding back and forth. “I see why you left
home right after high school. Do you know what she did last week? She
rearranged the furniture in my living room because she didn’t like the way I
had it.”

Paul chuckled.

Dana flipped him off. “It’s not funny. I had to move all of
it back and told her to never do it again. She acted hurt and complained about
it to her friends, who called me to tell me she was upset. What about me? Who
walks into someone’s home and does that?”

“Our mom.”

“Can you tell the NSO not to let her in? Will they stick
with our story of saying you can only have one guest at a time?”

He grimaced. “Dana…”

“Paul! You know she’s going to raise hell when she finds out
about Mourn.” Suspicion rose. “Did you tell her I was dating him? Did you ask
her to come?”

“No.”

She studied him but didn’t see any telling signs of guilt.
He was a bad liar. “I believe you.”

“That’s a shitty thing to accuse me of.”

“Sorry.”

“You know how she treats Becky. Do you think I want to subject
my wife to our mother? She tries to guilt Becky and me into having kids. Becky
finally told her she didn’t want to hear it anymore. Mom gave her the cold
shoulder. It was the last time we flew to visit her. It was miserable.”

Dana wasn’t surprised. “Poor Becky.”

“Yeah. I would love to keep Mom out of Homeland, but how do
you explain our mother to New Species? They think mothers are sweet and kind.
They don’t know some of them are controlling and pushy.”

“She’s going to find out about Mourn and flip her lid.
She’ll do or say whatever it takes to get him to stop seeing me so I’ll go home
with her.”

“I don’t want to involve the NSO in our family issues. What
are the chances that she’ll show up at the gates and demand to see us?”

Dana regarded him with a frown.

Paul’s shoulders sagged. “Shit. She’d totally do that.”

“I have to warn Mourn.”

“I have to warn Becky.”

“I’m totally moving in with Mourn if Mom stays with you.”

“Does he have a guestroom?”

“You’re not shoving her on him.”

“I meant for me and Becky. Mom can stay here on her own. I
don’t want to subject my wife to our mother on a rant. You know she’s going to
yell when she finds out you’re getting it on with a New Species.” He chuckled.

She flipped him off. “I wouldn’t laugh too much, big bro.
She’ll turn on you and your wife about those grandbabies you’ve denied her when
she’s done with me.”

His amusement died. “Shit.”

“Exactly. You’d better talk to someone at the gates and ask
them to go along with you having a one-visitor limit.”

* * * * *

Dana tapped her thigh as she sat next to Mourn at the
island. He’d brought pizza for dinner. She just decided to spit it out. “I have
to leave after we have dinner.”

His chin jerked up, the large boxes he’d reached to open
forgotten. “Give me more time before you say you won’t see me anymore. We’re
good together, Dana. I know you enjoyed last night and this morning.”

“I did. It’s not that. I want to keep spending time with
you. It’s just that my mother is on her way to California. She’s going to check
in to a motel that is not far from here at around seven o’clock tonight, and
she wants my brother and me to meet her there. I have to go.”

“Your mother? Why is she staying in a human motel? Call the
gates and tell them to expect her. We can arrange human housing for her if she
doesn’t want to stay with Paul too.”

She inwardly cringed. “Um, that’s not a good idea. We kind
of told her that it’s against the rules to have more than one family member
visit at a time.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know. I feel a bit guilty about that, but it’s
complicated.”

“She hates Species?”

“No.”

“What is the problem?”

Dana sighed, trying to think of a way to explain her mother
to him. “I’m just going to be blunt, okay?”

He nodded.

“She’s going to be very unhappy when she finds out I’m
dating you. It’s not because you’re New Species. It’s because it means I’ll
have to live here if we get serious. She likes me being close to her. She also
has it set in her mind that she’ll get to handpick my next husband. Don’t even
try to make sense of it. It’s just how she is. She can be extremely rude, and
she will be. I don’t want to subject you to her. Trust me. I’m doing you a
favor.”

“She will have to accept me if we mate. She’s your family,
and welcome to stay at Homeland with us. We could put her in the other bedroom
if she needs to live with you.”

“No. Don’t ever say those words again. I could never live
with my mother, and you couldn’t either. One of us would kill her within a
week.”

He looked stunned.

“Look, I had to elope when Tommy and I got married. Do you
know why?” She hurried on before he could say anything. “She went behind our
backs to invite an extra hundred guests, changed the food menu for our
reception, and the last straw was when I found out she’d called the bridal shop
too. She pretended to be me during all that and told them I no longer wanted
the dress I had chosen because she didn’t like it. She ordered a different one,
a dress that she picked. I guess she figured by the time I found out it would
be too late to do anything about it, but luckily for me, I called to check on
all those things. I blew my stack. Tommy and I canceled the entire thing and
flew to Vegas with some friends. I had Paul meet us there so he could walk me
down the aisle. That’s my mom, Mourn. She’s sneaky, underhanded and controlling.
She will do or say anything to make you reconsider being with me.”

“I wouldn’t do that, Dana.”