Numbers (5 page)

He chuckled. “I am big. See? We’re talking and being honest.
I like this. Why are you blushing? It is appealing.”

Dana peeked back at him. He watched her with a slight smile
on his face. His amusement was easy to identify. “You’re enjoying this.”

“A little.” He shrugged. “I will let you go if you really
want me to, but I’d like to keep holding you. It feels nice.”

It did.
If
she could just ignore that it wasn’t his
thigh pressed against the back of hers. “It does,” she admitted.

“I wouldn’t know how to convince you to share sex with me.
You’re not Species.” He frowned and glanced down at the top of where the flag
was tucked around her breasts. “The last thing I’d want is to make you fear me.
Humans are vastly different.”

“Are we?” She wanted to steer the subject away from sex. He
was too good-looking and it had been a long time since she’d felt an honest
attraction to a man. She was very aware of Mourn.

“Yes. Species females are aggressive. They would grab me and
rub up against my body. They don’t blush or shy away from me the way you do.”

“Does that happen often? You know, women going after you?”
She didn’t like the little seed of jealousy it spawned.

“Sometimes. They pity me.”

“But you haven’t, um, gone through with it?”

“You’re the first female who has made me hard. I haven’t
shared sex with anyone except my mate.”

He’d told her that before, but she didn’t know what he did
while he was away from her. Things might have changed. “Oh.”

“It confuses me,” he confessed, his voice dropping to a mere
whisper. “I like you.”

“I like you too, Mourn.”

He stared at her. “Do I affect you?” He leaned back a little
and looked lower, between their bodies. His body tensed. “Do you like how I
look?”

Dana couldn’t help but gawk a little. Every muscle in his
abs showed. He had the kind of washboard stomach that tempted her to reach out
and explore it with her hands. She resisted. “You’re very…in shape.” That was a
safe way to put it.

“Is that good? Does my size threaten you?”

It was difficult to tear her attention away from his abdomen
but she managed, looking up at his face again. “You don’t scare me, if that’s
what you mean.”

“Good. That is the last thing I want. You didn’t answer my
question. Do I affect you?”

Dana stumbled for an answer.

“It’s okay.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away. “I
didn’t think you would be attracted to me, but I needed to ask. We’re too
different.”

She hated the way he sounded hurt. She reached out and
hesitantly placed her hand against his shoulder. “Mourn?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. Deception is for humans.”

“What does that mean?” She felt a little alarmed by that
word.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her again.
“I set the sprinklers to go off and get us wet. I hoped that if you saw me
mostly undressed, you’d be attracted to me.”

“Why would you do that?” It stunned her. She wasn’t upset,
just surprised and confused.

“You make me feel good things. I wanted to hold you and see
if you’d want to share sex with me.”

It wasn’t the first time a man had hit on her, but she had
to say it was the most unusual tactic anyone had ever deployed. “Oh.”

“You aren’t attracted to me. I understand.” Pain flashed in
his eyes. “No female will ever wish to be my mate again.”

“Mate?” The word staggered her a little. He wasn’t just
looking for a one-night stand.

He gave a firm nod. “We have so much in common, Dana. I’m
attracted to you. I enjoy talking to you.”

She finally recovered. “Those aren’t reasons to marry
someone.”

“I mated to 139 because I was told to when they left her
with me. We were happy.”

It broke her heart and she leaned in closer, hating the pain
she saw. “You’re still grieving her loss. You can’t just replace one woman with
another.”

“Is that what you believe? You’re nothing like her.” He
frowned. “You’re human and I still want you.”

She wasn’t sure if she should feel insulted. She let it go,
not believing it was meant that way. “It’s just sexual attraction. We’re
talking and growing closer. It’s normal.”

“You aren’t attracted to me.”

Dana debated and then blew out a breath. “I am.”

His eyes narrowed and his arms tightened around her. “You
are?”

“You’re a very handsome man, Mourn.”

“What else do you like about me?”

“Your eyes are…” She paused.

“Frightening? Strangely inhuman?”

“Spectacular,” she corrected. “I could stare into them all
day.”

“What about my size? Do you think I’ll bruise or crush you?
I worry about that. You look delicate. I know how to be gentle.”

“I’m sure you could be.”

“I would never force you. My mate was ill for a long time. I
never touched her that way, no matter how much I hurt to share sex. Her needs
came first.”

She believed that about him. “That makes you thoughtful.”

“But not sexually appealing enough to be interested in
sharing sex with me?”

She glanced down at his chest, stomach and bulky biceps.
“You’re really hot.”

“My temperature runs higher than a human.”

She smiled. He was kind of naïveif that was how he
had interpreted her remark. “I mean sexy.” She blushed a little when she said
that, but didn’t back away from telling the truth.

“You like me too.” He grinned.

“I do, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

That wiped the joy right off his expression. “I want more
than that with you.”

“You’re still grieving. I’m not a replacement for her,
Mourn.”

“You’re nothing like her. You talk to me with ease.”

Questions sprang to Dana’s mind. She wanted to ask them
aloud but refrained. It was an odd statement to make. She remembered him saying
his wife wasn’t very talkative but did that mean they barely spoke unless they
needed to? It created a bleak image of the kind of relationship they’d had.

“You don’t look like her either.” He frowned again. “She was
very tall. Your coloring is different. I don’t want you to be like her.”

It helped that he said that. “You’re just looking for a
bandage to temporarily cure this pain, and I don’t want to get hurt when you
realize that.”

“What does that mean?”

“I deserve to be with someone who really loves me, and is
offering me a future beyond a few days or maybe months. We do this, and you’ll
eventually realize that I was just the person there to get you through the
worst of your grief. You’ll walk away, and I can’t take losing someone I let
get that close to me. Not a second time.”

“Species mate for life.” He kept hold of her.

“And yours died.” It was a gentle reminder.

He closed his eyes. She took it as a sign that her words
were penetrating and reached out, caressing his chest. His skin was so warm,
and it felt nice. He suddenly opened his eyes and held her gaze.

“Wrong words. We commit to the females we mate with until
one of us dies. I am willing to commit to you.”

That stunned her. “You don’t even know me.”

“You’re kind and sweet. We have both known loss. No one is
ever going to understand me the way you do, and I understand you. Don’t you
want someone to hold you at night? Someone to talk to and laugh with?”

“We don’t have to sleep together to do that. We could be
friends.”

“I don’t want to be friends. I want more. Come home and live
with me.”

Paul had told her once that New Species didn’t date. That
information suddenly made sense. Mourn just expected her to jump right into a
serious relationship. It was insane. Nobody did that.

“I promise to never touch another female, or want to share
sex with someone else. I won’t ever leave you. You will be mine, and I will be
yours. I will never hurt you, and I’ll do everything in my power to make
certain you’re happy. I’ll crave seeing your smile. I would hurt if I hurt you.
It’s how Species are. Do you understand? I can’t replace your mate, but I’m far
better than any human you’d have to worry about when you decide to mate again.
They aren’t as honest as Species, or as loyal.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It could be.” He reached up and lightly ran his fingertip
along her cheek. “I’ve never shared sex with a human, but I promise I’ll learn
how to please you. I’m determined. It will be enjoyable to figure out our
differences.”

The gruff tone affected her. His voice took on a slight
growl. It had been two years since a man had even tempted her to want sex.
Mourn did. She glanced at his chest. He was beautiful and everything manly. He
had the kind of body women would want to worship, and she was affected as well.

“I—”

“You said I must take chances,” he reminded her. “So must
you. You wanted to help change my life since I only existed in loneliness and
pain. You think I want you to cure me of that, but I think we can do that for
each other. I see yours too, when you talk about what you lost when your mate
died. I wouldn’t humble myself if I hadn’t thought this through. We could fill
the emptiness and make each other whole again. Together.”

He dropped his finger away from her face and lowered his
arm. He slid his big hand under her ass, cupping it, and squeezed just enough
to make her very aware of the sexual significance of having a man touch her.
His nostrils flared, and a low growl surprised her. His chest vibrated under
her hand. She glanced at it, and then back at his face.

“A reminder,” he stated. “I’m Species. I keep my word. I
don’t want to just share sex. I want you to live with me and become my reason
for living. I want to be yours.”

It really sank in. “You’re serious.”

“Yes.”

“This is insane.” The words popped out before she could
worry about insulting him.

He smiled instead. “Let’s be insane together.”

“We just met. We should get to know each other first.”

“Okay.”

When he agreed, Dana relaxed, but it was a short-lived
reprieve.

“We can do that as mates.”

“Mourn, we can’t just jump into a relationship. It never
works out.”

“It might not work for humans, but it does with Species. You’re
not in your out world anymore. You’re Paul’s sister, and he’s happy here. You
could be too.”

“This is too fast.”

“You said I should change my life and find a reason to want
to live. I chose you.”

She was speechless. She frantically tried to form reasonable
arguments to point out to him that it was a bad idea that bordered on crazy. He
massaged her ass. He had firm, yet gentle hands. It made it worse as she stared
into his eyes, observing that passion made them even brighter and livelier.

“Let me touch you,” he growled.

Dana still couldn’t form words. He inched his hand a little
closer to her pussy while he continued to knead her butt. Her heart pounded and
she was tempted to say yes. Life was too short and could end before anyone
expected it to. She knew that firsthand, but the fear that he was using her to
replace the woman he’d lost was a real possibility. It was the grieving version
of someone on the rebound. If they jumped into a relationship too fast, no good
would come of it. Her attempt to help him heal could hurt both of them if she
didn’t get off his lap and stop him from making a mistake.

Mourn ached to tear the flag from Dana’s body and stretch
her out on the cushioned bench. He’d taken the padding off an outdoor lounge
chair from the backyard of guest housing and brought it to the shed. It was
thickly padded and plush. He wanted to stretch her out on that cushion and
explore every inch of Dana’s skin, touch her. He saw no fear in her eyes, but
there was plenty of hesitation.

Did she really believe he wanted a replacement for 139? He
couldn’t understand her logic. She wasn’t anything similar to the mate he’d
lost, and he didn’t wish her to be. It would be difficult to learn how to live
with a human, but he was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. Dana
was someone he could talk to and she was the first female to rekindle his
desire to live.

He also felt a healthy dose of pure lust. His dick hurt like
nothing he could remember. He longed to be inside her, despite his worry that
he might cause her harm. He’d have to take things very slowly and use every
ounce of self-control. Dana didn’t seem as if she was eager to share sex with
him, and that meant coaxing her into allowing him to remove that flag from her
body.

“Mourn.” Her voice came out a little breathless.

“Let me touch you.”

“You are.” Her cheeks were pink, and she licked her lips.

She wasn’t wiggling to move away from his exploration of her
ass. She had a generous amount of flesh in that area. He liked holding it in
the palm of his hand. He scooted down the bench, keeping her on his lap as he
did so. He twisted his body just enough to turn her so, when he bent forward,
he was able to lay her on the cushion. She grabbed at his upper arms. He
withdrew his hand from under her ass and gripped the material at her thighs,
sliding it up. His talk with Darkness about human sex replayed inside his head.

“I want to strip you bare and bury my face between your
thighs. You’d like me licking your pussy. I purr. Do you know what that means?”

She shook her head and swallowed hard.

“I’m better than a vibrator. I was told what one of those do
to your kind, and how good it feels to females. Do you own one?”

Her cheeks turned pinker and her lips parted. She remained
mute, looking stunned at the same time.

“Do you own one, Dana?” He said her name to make certain she
knew she was the female he thought of.

She nodded. It was slight, but he saw the movement.

“I’d make you come hard.” He shifted a little, adjusting
until his elbows rested on the cushion on each side of her ribs, and he leaned
in closer, careful to keep his weight off her. He worried she’d panic and
perhaps roll away and hit the floor. “I want to show you the advantages of
having a Species mate. Let me do that.”

She stared at him, appearing a little dazed. Darkness had
said not to be too blunt, but he couldn’t help it. Dana had accepted everything
about him so far, and hadn’t shown any revulsion when he’d told her how he’d
become mated to 139. Humans didn’t end up together that way, but she hadn’t
judged him. He wanted to be completely honest. Lies were a bad way to start
their bond. He’d tried deceit when he’d gotten her wet from the sprinklers. It
had made him feel guilt.

“I want to spread your legs apart and bare you to my mouth.”
He licked his lips, noticing how her gaze darted down to watch his tongue.
“I’ll be gentle and take it slow. It will feel good. I promise you this. Don’t
fear my fangs. I thought all day about what objections you might have, and that
has to be one of them. Though I am bigger than a human male, when I mount you
I’ll be extremely gentle. I won’t crush you with my weight or bruise you with
my hands. I am very aware of my strength. As for the size of my dick, your body
will stretch to take me and you’ll be very wet after I make you come. I’ll work
my way inside you with care, and make sure it feels good for you. I have
control. Let me show you.”

She lifted her gaze to lock with his. Dana remained mute,
still looking stunned. It was a possibility that he had been too direct, but he
saw no fear. That was the most important part.

“You can trust me, Dana. What will convince you?”

“I…” She swallowed. “This is a bad idea. You’re not thinking
straight.” Once she began to speak, it was as if she couldn’t stop as words
poured out. “You’ll hate me, and come to believe I took advantage of you when
you were vulnerable. I couldn’t stand for you to think that I—”

He snarled in frustration. He regretted it when she jerked
under him, and her nails dug into his skin. She stopped speaking. He still
didn’t see any fear in her expression, but he knew it could turn that way fast
if he didn’t control his reactions. She wasn’t used to Species, and didn’t
understand that she wasn’t in any danger. That was something she’d learn by
spending time with him.

He softened his voice to soothe her. “Don’t tell me what I’d
think. I’ll tell you where my thoughts are. I want you, Dana. You’re the only
female who has stirred my body and my interest. It isn’t because you remind me
of 139. Listen to me well and hear my words. You are nothing like her. It is
part of the reason I am intensely attracted to you. I have never spoken to
anyone with the ease that I do with you. I didn’t have a choice when I was
given 139 as a mate, but I’m choosing you. You told me to let go of the pain
and try to live. That’s what I’m doing right now if you will allow it. Say yes.
Bend up your knees and spread them apart.” He sat up a little and gave her room
to move. She had to release his arms when he did it.

“You’re confused about what you want. I’m the first person
you’ve spoken to.”

He scowled.

“It’s true. Remember when I told you about how some people
in the group turned to sex to try to deal with their grief? I think this is a
classic case right here. You can’t just make a long-term commitment to someone
who is virtually a stranger. We barely know each other. I can’t be your mate.”

Perhaps the term frightened her and made her leery. He
really needed to learn more about her kind. She was nothing like a bad human.
He’d been certain his biggest obstacle would be his fangs or his size. Instead
it seemed that she worried about long-term commitment, and that he’d come to
regret offering to spend the rest of his life with her.

“Take one day at a time. That’s what you said. Today…” He
glanced down at her body, mostly interested in shoving the material out of his
way to bare her pussy. “We will focus on pleasure. You are attracted to me. We
will start with that. I won’t push you for more, but I’m not going to change my
mind. I want you as my mate. I’ll show you how much I mean that if you’ll
spread your thighs and let me lick you.”

She seemed mute again, just lay there staring at him.

He carefully wrapped his fingers around her thighs. “You
talk about living and encouraging me to do it.” He used his thumbs to stroke
her skin. “Let me. You also said those humans felt empty having sex. I won’t
allow that to happen to you. I’ll stay inside you afterward, and all you will
feel is me.”

Her features grew flushed and she bit down on her bottom
lip. “Mourn…that’s not exactly the kind of empty I was talking about.”

“I know, but you can’t feel alone if I’m inside you and
holding you.” He paused, watching her closely. “How long has it been since
you’ve been touched?”

She hesitated. “Too long.”

He gently applied pressure to her inner thighs. She didn’t
resist when he parted them. He bent her leg up and adjusted it behind his back.
He scooted down the bench at the same time. “You’ll like this. Trust me.”

She didn’t protest when he lowered his gaze, taking in the
sight of her pussy. It fascinated him. She wasn’t completely hairless there. A
small strip of short hair covered her mound. He rested her bent leg against the
wall and reached out, stroking his thumb over that strip.

Dana sucked in air, but didn’t try to slam her legs closed.
He inhaled her scent. She was slightly aroused and he wanted to find out if she
tasted as sweet as she smelled. He lowered his face, released her other thigh,
and parted her vaginal lips to get a better look at her. She was pink and small.
He wanted to snarl. It was possible he would accidentally hurt her when he
mounted her.

Females stretch.
He’d never taken a class about sex
with humans, but he’d heard some of the males talk about what they’d learned in
the community rooms at the dorm. He knew it was possible since some males had
taken humans as mates. He’d figure it out. He needed to prepare her to share
sex first though.

“Relax,” he coaxed, moving in closer, fixing his attention
on her clit. Excitement coursed through him when she didn’t try to twist away
as he put his mouth right on that pink flesh and lightly ran the tip of his
tongue over it. His chest tightened and he took his own advice, relaxing. The
vibrations started, and he didn’t hold back the desire to purr. He deepened them,
knowing she’d enjoy the sensations.

“Oh god,” Dana whispered.

She didn’t pull away so he licked at her, pressing his
tongue against her more firmly, keeping it there as he rubbed up and down. One
leg moved, and she pressed her thigh against his cheek. He shifted his arm,
hooking her thigh, and pinning it up and to the side.

She started to move against him, her hips rocking. He had to
pin her other leg, and press down on her lower stomach to keep her from moving
too far away from his mouth. Darkness had warned him that humans tried to pull
away from pleasure. He was intent on giving her a lot of it.

The scent of her arousal increased as he continued to lick
and purr against her clit. The bud hardened under his tongue, and he knew she
was close when her moans grew louder. She bucked her hips, almost unseating his
mouth. He put more strength into holding her in place, careful not to hurt her,
but wanting to keep her still. Her fingers suddenly dug into his hair at the
back of his head, but she didn’t pull it. Her fingernails lightly raked his
scalp, an encouragement since it felt good.

He snarled, his dick so hard it hurt. He wanted to be inside
her. She had become soaked from arousal. It was tempting to slide his mouth
lower and use his tongue to see how tight she’d be and get a better taste of
her but he resisted the urge. He needed her to come first. Then he could enjoy
that experience.

Dana was going to die. Her back arched and she clawed at the
top of the cushion above her head with one hand. Her other one held on to
Mourn. His hair was silky, and she was tempted to fist the short strands and
tear him away from her pussy. He was vibrating and licking her at the same
time. Her bullet sex toy couldn’t do that. Nothing could, except Mourn.

It felt a bit surreal that she had allowed him to do that to
her, but he’d managed to talk her into it. He’d been too sexy to resist, and
she had to admit she’d been curious. Now she knew. He hadn’t lied about how
good it would feel.

Every muscle in her body seemed tense, and despite him
telling her to relax, she couldn’t. She tried to slam her legs closed, but he
had a good grip on them, keeping them spread apart so he could torment her with
his mouth. It was almost torture since nothing should ever feel that
incredible. It almost hurt. She’d been worried it would be awkward to have
someone touch her, but now even thinking was impossible. It was all about
sensations and aching.

She forgot how to breathe when ecstasy slammed into her. She
must have sucked in air though, because she realized she was crying out Mourn’s
name. The climax was sharp, nearly brutal and all-consuming as it rolled
through her. Her entire body quaked. She panted and her body went lax in the
seconds following her release. Mourn pulled his mouth away, and she could feel
his hot breath fanning her oversensitive clit.

She kept her eyes closed, unwilling to look at him, not even
sure she could work up the nerve. He’d just gone down on her. It was slightly
embarrassing to be that exposed to someone, especially since the only person
who had ever known her that intimately was Tommy. She shoved back thoughts of
him.
No guilt.
She hadn’t cheated. She was more concerned about what
she’d say to Mourn, and if things would be uncomfortable between them now.

She jerked in surprise when his tongue pressed against the
opening of her pussy and he breached it. He had a thick tongue. He snarled, the
sound a little menacing, but she wasn’t afraid. He withdrew almost as fast as
he’d entered her. His hold on her thighs and lower stomach eased and he
adjusted her legs. It was easy to do since she felt boneless at that moment.

The bench she lay on creaked a little and the sound finally
forced her to open her eyes. She lifted her head to stare at Mourn. He was
focused on her lower half, his chin lowered, his gaze locked there as he sat up
and scooted his hips closer. He released her thighs entirely and reached up,
grabbing the edges of the bench on each side of her waist.

“I’ll be gentle.” His voice came out unusually deep. He
almost didn’t even sound human.

Dana knew what he planned to do. She shifted her legs,
bending her knees more and lifting them up. Mourn looked at her then. His eyes
were amazingly beautiful and she licked her dry lips. He paused and then
surprised her by sliding off the bench. He moved to the end of it and knelt.

“This will work better. I don’t want to crush you.”

He surprised her when he leaned forward, shoved his hands
under her ass, and gripped her. He pulled her and the cushion down the bench
until her bottom was at the edge of it. Mourn released her ass and gripped her
calves, lifting her legs until her feet were braced on the sides of his chest
near his shoulders. He parted her thighs farther and inched closer.

Dana tried to relax. Mourn was going to fuck her. It was
scary and exhilarating at the same time. It might be a huge mistake, but she
wanted him. He rested one arm over her lower stomach, as if he wanted to pin
her there, and reached between them with his other hand. It was tempting to
lift her head and look at his cock, which he must have gripped with that hand.
She didn’t though. She stared into his eyes.