Numbers (4 page)

They had something else in common. “Tommy and I were
together since we were young. He’s the only man I ever dated. He was my first
kiss, my first everything. My last too.” Depression threatened. She shook it
off. “But I have hope. That’s new. I think I’m reaching the point where I might
want to find someone to date again. I’m lonely. At first I wouldn’t even
consider remarrying. It’s progress. You’ll get there too. Give yourself time.”

He seemed interested in the floor, studying it. “Have you
found a male who interests you? Will he be angry that you’re staying here
longer than planned?”

“There’s no one. One guy at work keeps asking me out, but
he’s totally not my type.”

Mourn lifted his gaze and stared at her. “What is wrong with
the male?”

She smiled. “He’s kind of an office player.”

His eyebrows drew together and he frowned.

“Morgan hits on a lot of women. It’s his thing. He’s a
flirt. I don’t want that. He’ll probably be the type who cheats.” She winced.
“That’s a fear of mine.”

“Your mate was loyal? I hear some humans aren’t.”

“Tommy was special. He was pretty intense, and he loved me.
He set a high mark that I fear no one else can reach. He also had germ
phobias.” She laughed. “It kind of made me feel safe that he wouldn’t sleep
with other women. I was the only one he would touch without fear. Do you
understand?”

“You are worried no other male can treat you as well and be
loyal?”

She nodded.

“I don’t think any other female will wish to be my mate.
Species females resist commitment. They share sex with other males, and don’t
allow us to stay with them to sleep in their beds. I miss having her next to
me.”

“Tell me something about her.”

He resisted for a long minute. “She was primate and tall.”
He paused. “She snorted when she laughed. It was cute.”

Dana smiled and stroked his hand, urging him to tell her
more.

“She didn’t talk much, but she always said important things
when she did.”

“Intelligent.”

He nodded. “We were young when they put us together. She was
terrified of me.”

“You’re a big guy.”

Mourn didn’t look at her while he spoke. “I was the first
male they’d taken her to, and she was my first female. They said we were a
mated pair and told us we’d share the cell forever. We had to learn to live
together. She kept far away from me, but I was curious. I kept trying to
approach her. She’d make these funny noises so I’d back away. I didn’t want to
frighten her.”

Dana could believe that of Mourn. He was a nice guy.

“I gave her the sleeping mat and would sneak onto it after
she fell asleep. I liked to hold her. She’d wake in the morning and move away
from me at first. It took a while for her to learn that I wouldn’t hurt her. We
started to talk. Then she went into heat.”

That tidbit surprised Dana. “Heat?”

“Sexual need. She smelled so good and I wanted her bad. I
might not have shared sex before, but I hurt. My dick was constantly hard.”

Startled, Dana stopped rubbing his hand, but then started
again, encouraging him. It was a reminder of what he was. New Species did have
animal DNA. “I take it you two worked it out?”

“She was suffering and didn’t know what was wrong with her.”

“I didn’t think primates went into heat that way.”

Anger deepened his voice. “Mercile probably put something in
her food. She didn’t eat the same things that I did. They wanted us to breed,
and we weren’t doing it fast enough. I later learned how dangerous it would
have been if they’d drugged me. Males grow very aggressive, and the pain is so
intense that they suffer memory loss. 139 and I figured it out. I learned fast
that if she enjoyed my touch, she’d allow me to mount her often.” He grew
silent.

“Her number was 139?” It made Dana think. “What was your
number?”

“140.”

She pondered that. “A number one off from yours.”

“I don’t know why we were given numbers close together.
Mercile never explained things to us. They might have planned to make us mates
from the beginning and only waited until we were old enough to breed before
they put us in the same cell.”

“Do you know how long you were together?”

“No. There’s no sense of time at Mercile. It’s endless. A
long time. Then we were taken from there to somewhere worse. They kept giving
her injections, and it made her weak and sick. The humans kept promising me
they’d make her better if I did everything they ordered me to do. They were
using her to control me. I did it. Her life was all that mattered. The NSO
freed us but she didn’t get better. They lied to me.”

“The NSO?”

“Mercile.” He snarled the name. “They couldn’t make 139
better. They were overdosing her with experimental ovulation drugs, hoping they
would make her get pregnant. Our females can’t breed though.” His voice
remained deep, his pain and anger clear. “It caused massive harm to her
internal organs. The damage couldn’t be repaired. They wanted a Species infant
bad enough to kill her in the attempt. I didn’t know what they were doing to
her until we were freed. Doc Trisha said it poisoned her system and parts of
her organs had suffered too much damage by the time she arrived at Homeland. The
healing drugs kept her going for a long time but they couldn’t repair what was
done. She just lingered longer.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.” He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. His
voice softened. “I should have killed 139 when she begged me to. She suffered
so much. I was a bad mate.”

“You had hope she’d get better.”

He turned his face and tears glistened in his eyes. “She
said, if I cared about her, I would snap her neck and stop her from breathing.
I just couldn’t do it.” He tugged out of Dana’s hold and stared down at both
his hands where they rested on his thighs. “I was weak.”

“Mourn.” Dana choked up, suffering his pain too. “Don’t do
this to yourself. You obviously loved her a lot, and couldn’t hurt her. That
isn’t weakness. There’s nothing wrong with not giving up hope on someone you
love. That’s all you’re guilty of.”

He leaned in closer. “How do I live with it?”

“You take one day at a time, and you allow yourself to heal.
Stop holding on to the grief so tightly. Make friends. Find something to fill
your time. Realize that life goes on, even when you think it shouldn’t. You are
alive. I’m alive. We’re here. Embrace that.”

He blinked back tears and straightened. “Ask for a job to do
and find purpose?”

“That’s a great start.”

He nodded, looking away. “I should take you back.”

Dana reached over and held his hand. He didn’t pull away.
“Why don’t we just sit here for a bit? Do you want to be alone?”

“No.”

She didn’t either. She laced her fingers with his. “Next
time we need to find a more comfortable place though.” She adjusted her ass on
the wood bench. “Or I’ll bring pillows.”

He glanced at her and arched an eyebrow. “A pillow?”

“To use as a cushion for these seats.”

He smiled. “Humans are too used to comfort.”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

* * * * *

Mourn leaned against the tree, watching Dana climb into bed.
They’d spent a few hours together, and he’d enjoyed just sitting with her. It
had even been nice to speak of 139. The human hadn’t judged him or been
horrified by his words. They came from different lives. He’d expected issues to
arise.

A soft noise alerted him and he turned his head, watching
Darkness step closer. “I didn’t want to startle you,” the male admitted.

“I’m not going to harm Dana.”

“Just watch her?”

“Don’t you have a mate to sleep with? Doesn’t she wonder
where you are?”

“She knows where I am, and that I’m keeping my eye on you.
Is Paul’s sister fascinating?”

“She doesn’t sleep much either.”

Darkness turned his head, to follow Mourn’s gaze. “She’s
reading a book. What is the title?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to get that close.”

The male leaned on the other side of the tree and crossed
his arms. “You took her away for a bit. Where did you go?”

“To talk.” Mourn stiffened. “You had Security searching for
us?”

“No. I watched you return her. She looked unharmed and I
don’t smell her fear coming off you.”

“I’m not going to hurt her.”

“She lost her mate too. Does talking help?”

Mourn debated answering. Darkness could make Dana leave
Homeland or send him to the Wild Zone. “Yes. She understands.”

“Good.”

He relaxed, the answer was non-threatening. His calm
evaporated when Darkness spoke again.

“Do you plan to stalk her every night?”

“I’m not stalking her. I’m watching over her.”

“She’s in no danger.”

“I don’t wish to go home yet.”

“I hated staring at ceilings too.”

Mourn snapped his head in the direction of the male,
studying him.

Darkness held his gaze and nodded. “I’ve been there and done
that. I will give you a warning though.”

“I won’t harm Dana.” He growled low, offended.

“I believe that. Calm your ass down or she’s going to hear
you. Humans don’t have our senses, but get any louder and she won’t be able to
miss it. Her television isn’t on to mute outside noises. My warning is that the
last time I became fascinated with a human, I ended up mated to her. I have no
regrets because it was the best thing to happen to me, but it came as a shock.
I’m giving you a heads-up.”

“No one would mate with me. I’m damaged.”

“I used to say that too. Then Kat came into my life. She
healed me when I didn’t think that was possible. Stop fighting with other
males.” He jerked his head toward Paul’s home. “She might become a reason for
you to want to live.”

“A human?” Mourn shook his head. “We are too different.”

“She lost her mate. You have a lot in common with her, more
so than with any of our females.” Darkness inched a little closer. “Have you
considered sharing sex with her?”

“No.”

“Perhaps you should.”

Mourn pushed away from the tree and faced the male head on.
“Why are you saying this to me?”

“You spent most of your life with a mate. I did my research
on Paul’s sister. She met her mate young, as you did yours. She is used to
sleeping with a male, as you are used to having a female in your arms. You both
have emptiness inside. Fill the spaces together. It makes sense.”

“She’s human.”

“So is my mate. It works.” Darkness smiled. “The differences
between us makes it a challenge, but the kind to be enjoyed.”

“She did say she was thinking about finding a male.” Mourn
considered it. He could talk to Dana. He liked her. A memory of her crawling
onto the bed the night before flashed through his mind. He was attracted to
her.

“We’re better than human males.” Darkness sounded certain.

“Dana had no complaints about her mate. She loved him. He
was good to her.”

“So be better.” Darkness lowered his voice. “Humans don’t
have our advantages.”

“We’re stronger and loyal. We don’t carry sexual diseases or
get sick.”

“That’s not what I meant, but those are valid points. I’m
talking about sex.”

“We’re larger and have more stamina.”

Darkness chuckled. “Do you know what a vibrator is? A human
sex toy?”

Mourn shook his head. “No.”

“You haven’t watched human porn?”

“No.” He scowled. “I had no interest in human sex.”

“Good. You’re already ahead of a lot of our males who’ve
seen that garbage. It’s a bad representation of what human males fantasize
about, rather than the females. A lot of females find it offensive. Go down on
her and purr. Don’t hold back. They love the vibrations from our tongues. Human
men can’t do that without toys. Just be aware that they try to slam their
thighs closed. They aren’t used to that much sensation. It’s overpowering for
them, but pin her thighs open and keep going until she climaxes. Her male
couldn’t do that.”

“They like to be licked?”

“Licked, sucked, and then mounted. Have her face you.” He
paused. “Just enter her slowly at first. They are damn tight because most human
males aren’t our size.”

Mourn’s dick stirred just thinking about it. It had been a
long time since he’d shared sex. Dana had a nice backside. Her hands were soft.
He could adjust to their differences. “How do I get her to agree to share sex
with me?”

Darkness straightened and dropped his arms to his sides.
“They appreciate our bodies. We’re fit. Kat swears we have muscles that make
females very aware of us.” He reached down, gripped the hem of his shirt and
yanked it up to just under his nipples. He tightened his stomach and pointed.
“Those especially. Kat enjoys running her hands across my abs.”

“I just flash her my stomach? That sounds easy.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that. Do you know how
you approach our females for sharing sex?”

“Be blunt, tell them what we want and show our strength.”

“Forget that. Don’t tell her you’d like to bend her over in
front of you. Humans don’t usually respond well to that much honesty.” Darkness
paused, obviously thinking. “Are you meeting her tomorrow night?”

“Yes.”

“I have a plan.”

“What is it?”

Darkness smiled.

Dana closed the slider and stepped out onto the patio,
glancing around, looking for Mourn. He immediately advanced from the shadows
beneath a tree. She smiled, walking right up to the wall that separated them.
He reached for her waist and lifted, placing her down on the other side.

He smiled back, reminding her how handsome was. His mood
seemed cheerful too. “What did you do today?”

“I hung out with Becky. She wanted me to watch a bunch of
girl movies with her.”

“That sounds interesting.”

“They were romances.” Dana cringed. “Those aren’t my
favorite kind of films, but it made Becky happy. I liked a few of the
storylines that were funny.”

He bent and she expected it when he lifted her into his
arms. She didn’t protest or point out that she’d worn shoes and could walk on
her own. When he entered the park, she asked, “Are we going back to the shed?”

“No. I thought we’d go back to the tree. I did put a cushion
on the bench for next time.”

“That was so thoughtful.”

He stopped and bent, setting her on the lowest branch. He
crouched. “We could go there if you wish. I just thought it was such a nice
night. Did you notice the almost-full moon?” He pointed up at the sky.

“It is beautiful. I love how clearly you can see the sky
here at Homeland. I live in a pretty well-lit area so I don’t get to see as
many stars.”

He chuckled. “Homeland is great, but there aren’t a lot of
places we can go. I live in the men’s dorm. You are staying at Paul’s. It’s
hard for us to find privacy.”

“That’s okay. I’m just glad we can talk every night.”

“Me too. It gives me something to look forward to.”

She’d grown to look forward to it too, and would have been
disappointed if he hadn’t shown up. A slight click sounded and she turned her
head, looking for the source. The sprinklers suddenly came on. She gasped as
cold water doused her. Mourn shot to his feet and bent, scooping her into his
arms.

It didn’t keep her from getting wet. He had to be getting
soaked too. She tucked her head against his shoulder and hugged him around his
neck as he carried her away.

“Hang on,” he urged.

So much for our talk
. He’d have to take her home so
she could change clothes. He stopped and freed one arm and then tilted her in
his hold. She lifted her head when she heard the sound of a door close, and the
sprinkler noise died down. It was pitch dark until he shifted, probably using
his elbow to hit the switch for the light. She peered around. They were in the
shed.

“Are you okay?”

She laughed. “Yes. Did they change the timer? I hear them
come on from my room, but it’s usually right before dawn.”

He put her down and stepped back. His jeans were plastered
to his legs. “Someone must have changed the timer setting. You’re wet.”

“So are you.” She noticed his forehead. “You do heal fast.”
He just had a slight bruise there and the cut was almost entirely gone.

He stepped around her and reached up onto a top shelf along
a wall that held sports equipment. He faced her. “I’ll close my eyes. Strip and
put this around you.”

Dana studied the silky material. It had a wolf head printed
on it. Her gaze shifted to Mourn. “Is that a flag?”

“Yes. There are more. I’ll wrap one around my waist. I want
to talk to you.”

“You could just take me back to Paul’s. We could go inside
and I could use the dryer for our clothes.”

“Your brother won’t welcome me inside his home.”

“He’s sleeping.”

“I’d rather not risk it. You’re safe here. I’d never hurt
you.”

The serious look in his eyes made her feel safe. Mourn
wasn’t like other men. Not only was he grieving the loss of the woman he loved,
he’d never made her feel uncomfortable. “Turn around.”

He spun. She bent and tugged off her canvas slip-ons and
just tossed them into the corner. She removed her leggings and T-shirt. Her bra
and panties were only slightly damp. She debated, but removed them too. The
flag was larger than she’d suspected when she unfolded it and wrapped it, toga
style, around her middle.

“I’m decent.”

“My turn.” He faced her. “Close your eyes.”

She presented him with her back. It felt strange to be in a
small building, mostly undressed. It wasn’t something she’d normally do, but
she did trust that Mourn wouldn’t do anything untoward. He still remained a bit
skittish of their budding friendship, and she needed to keep that in mind. He
might not return if he escorted her back to Paul’s to change her clothes. She’d
rather stay in the shed with him for a bit than face the guest bedroom alone
until sleep came.

“I told Paul I wanted to hang out with him this week.” It
was a safe topic to discuss.

“Did you tell him we are talking?” Mourn dropped something
wet on the floor, probably his shirt or pants.

“No. I respected your wishes. I know you don’t want him to
know we’re spending time together. Our mother called today. I used that as a
reason to extend my stay.”

“How is she a reason?”

“She’s forever trying to set me up with men. It happened
again. She made a date for me on Thursday night. I told Paul I wanted to stay
longer so I could tell her I’d still be out of town.”

“Who is the male?” His voice deepened slightly.

“Some son of a friend of hers whom I’ve never met. He’s
thirty-five and lives with his mommy. No thanks. I didn’t need to hear any more
than that to know it wouldn’t work out.”

“He’s an adult male. I thought humans left home after they
finished their schooling.”

“They are supposed to, but some men enjoy being pampered by
their mothers a little too much. I’m betting that is the case with this one.
He’s probably looking for a woman who can do everything his mother does, plus
have sex with him. That’s not going to be me.”

“That’s strange.”

“Some people are.”

“I’m covered.”

Dana turned and had to seal her lips. Mourn wore a flag
wrapped around his waist, but the expanse of his muscled chest, stomach and
arms was an onslaught she had not been prepared for. It had been dark enough in
the park the night he’d lent her his shirt that she hadn’t gotten a really good
look. The light inside the shed revealed every inch of him in detail. He had
the best body she’d ever seen. He looked even bigger and more impressive in the
small, enclosed space. The only flaws were a few bruises from the fight he’d
been in, and his bandaged arm. The one on his leg was gone, and the wound
looked as if it had happened a week or so ago instead of just a matter of days.
It impressed her.

He smiled. “We’re dry.”

He’d said something, and it took a second for his words to
sink in. She lifted her gaze to stare at his face. “Yes, we are.”

He inched closer and sat on the padded seat. “Are you cold?
Species have a hotter body temperature than humans. You could sit on my lap and
I’ll keep you warm.”

She swallowed hard, staring at his body again. “Um…” Just
imagining that made her cheeks feel flushed. He made it worse when he opened
his arms, indicating he actually meant it.

“I won’t hurt you, Dana.”

The way he softened his tone and peered at her with those
beautiful eyes actually lured her an unconscious step closer. “Um…” She didn’t
even know how to respond. It wasn’t proper. She’d never gotten that close to a
half-naked guy before, except Tommy.

“It’s okay,” he urged. “Come here.”

She wanted to. That was the confusing part. He leaned
forward a little, keeping eye contact. She didn’t perceive a threat there, but
couldn’t discount his size or strength. Any other guy would have had her
fleeing from the shed.

“I miss holding someone. Let me put my arms around you.”

Those whispered, hoarse words were the temptation she
couldn’t resist. Her heart raced but she inched closer, uncertain how to
gracefully take a seat. Mourn didn’t seem to have that problem. He just reached
out and gently maneuvered her until she found her ass resting over one of his thighs
and her legs bent over his other one. She sat sideways and he hugged her
closer, his arms wrapped around her in a gentle embrace.

They were both tense, but he relaxed first. The hard muscles
under her butt softened slightly and he snuggled her against his chest. She
leaned her head to the side a little until her cheek rested near his heart. She
could hear it beating almost as fast as her own. That made her feel better. She
took a deep breath, blew it out, and forced the tension out of her body.

“This is nice.” He shifted a little. “You’re so small.”

He was really big, but she didn’t comment on that. “You are
warm.” He felt feverish again, a reminder of when she’d first held his hand in
Medical.

“You smell good.”

She had to clear her throat. “Thank you.”

“Do I?”

It was probably the strangest interaction she’d had with a
man, but he was New Species, and they were very straightforward. Dana inhaled,
closing her eyes. “Yes.” He carried a manly scent, not overpowering but
pleasant. He sure was different from Morgan, her coworker, who loved to douse
on cologne until she could almost taste it.

“See? You’re safe with me.”

“I trust you.” It was true. They had a lot in common. He had
told her his mate was the only woman he’d ever had sex with. It wasn’t as if he
were some guy putting the moves on her. He was probably as inept as she would
be at making sexual advances.

He brushed his cheek against her head, a light caress.
“Warmer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

She struggled to think of something to say. The first thing
that popped into her head came bursting out. “What did you do today?”

“I asked for an assignment.”

It distracted her from her awareness of him as a man, and
that she was held in his arms. “What happened? Did they give you a job?”

“They refuse to allow me to work anywhere near humans, but
said I could patrol the interior of Homeland. I took a shift.”

“How did that go?”

“It wasn’t bad. I made some Species nervous but they spoke
to me.”

“Why were they nervous?”

“They expected me to start fights but I didn’t.”

“What do you do on patrol?” She shifted on his lap and got a
little more comfortable.

“I entered each building to see if everyone was all right. I
was on duty for four hours to test how I’d work out. No one complained so Fury
said I could do it again tomorrow. My shift starts at noon.”

“That’s great.” She wasn’t sure where to put her hands so
she rested them on her lap. “How do you feel?”

“Really good.” His arms tightened around her and he sat back
on the bench, taking her with him so she leaned more closely against him.

She couldn’t disagree. He did feel really good. Warm, soft
in all the right places, but that’s when something hard pressed against the
back of her thighs. It took her a second to realize what it was, and she
gasped.

“Don’t be alarmed. It’s a physical response.”

He had a hard-on. There was no missing that with it pressed
against the underside of her legs between her ass and knees, where she sat
across his lap. Her breathing speeded up and she tried to slow it down. Fear
wasn’t the cause. She didn’t think he was going to do anything bad to her.

“Dana? Are you okay?”

She nodded mutely.

“Look at me.” He leaned his head away from hers.

Dana hesitated, but worked up her courage. It was slightly
embarrassing to know they were both aware of his physical state. She lifted her
chin and stared into his eyes.

“I’d never harm you,” he swore, and sincerity shone from
those striking eyes. “Please don’t fear me.”

“I should probably get off your lap. I guess this was a bad
idea, huh?” She blushed. “I, wow, this is awkward.”

He didn’t open his arms. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Is
it?”

“I like holding you. I enjoy the way you feel in my arms and
how you smell.” He had no difficulty finding words.

Dana swallowed hard, keeping eye contact. “Paul told me to
ditch the perfume and cosmetics. He gave me bathing stuff so I won’t make New
Species sneeze while I’m here. It’s probably the new shampoo and conditioner
I’m using. This isn’t appropriate.” That was a good way to put it.

“Human laws don’t apply to me.”

“It’s not a law. It’s just that…” She faltered when he
leaned in closer and sniffed at her. A low purring sound came from his chest,
and it caused small vibrations against her arm where she leaned into him.

“It’s just that what?”

He expected an answer but all she could do was stare into
his eyes. “I should get up,” she finally blurted.

He still didn’t open his arms. “Why? I like you here. Are
you uncomfortable?”

He was actually cozy to sit on. He was big, warm, and he
held her gently. It was just that the feel of his erection pressed against the
back of her thighs beneath the thin material of the flags wasn’t something she
could ignore.

“I’m male. I react to you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to
strip you bare and expect you to share sex with me.”

Her breathing picked up speed and her heart pounded. The
image of him doing that left her reeling. She wasn’t certain how to feel about
it. Her gaze lowered to his chest and then to his broad shoulders. He was
strong enough to do anything he wanted to her but she didn’t fear him. She looked
up and studied his eyes. They drew her in, so unique and gorgeous. She’d never
seen anything like them before and the novelty wasn’t wearing off. She could
stare into them for an endless amount of time.

“We like to talk. Tell me what you are thinking.”

“You feel really big.” She regretted the blurted words, and
heat flamed her cheeks. She ducked her head and lifted one hand, covering her
eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. It was the first thing that popped
into my head.”