Nutcase (12 page)

“Thank you for coming, sir,” I said. “I know it means a lot to your son.”

“Shall we get started?” he said.

Arnie’s gaze met mine before turning to his father. I nodded. “Well, sir, you know how important it was for me to serve my country.”

“I should certainly hope so.”

“I worked very hard to do the best job I could because I wanted you to be proud of me.” He took a deep breath. “But it wasn’t easy because I felt different from the rest of the men.”

“Different? What do you mean?”

Arnie hesitated. Sweat beaded his brow. “I don’t expect you to understand, sir, but I think I would have made a better daughter to you than a son.”

The colonel frowned. “I haven’t the first clue what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve never felt like a man, Father, and I’ve spent my entire life pretending to be something I’m not because I was afraid I would lose your respect. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like a female,” he added.

“What the hell are you talking about?” the older man demanded.

I could see the red streaks creeping up the colonel’s neck, even as he stared at his son in disbelief. He was clearly shaken.

“There’s a term for it, Father. It’s called gender identity disorder. I may look like a man on the outside, but the real me, the female side, has been trapped inside all these years. I want to start living my life as a woman.”

“A woman!” the colonel bellowed. He looked at me. “Is this some kind of joke?”

His face was apple red; a sheen of sweat covered his brow. “No, sir,” I said. “Gender identity disorder is very real. I’ve treated a number of patients who felt like, um, Arnold.”

“You mean freaks, don’t you?” he said, his voice booming. “People who belong in a circus,” he added.

“Colonel, if we could just try to remain calm,” I said, expecting Mona to knock on the door any moment to see if everything was okay.

He bolted to his feet, but I could see that he was unsteady.

“I refuse to listen to this garbage. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.” He looked at Arnie. “A freak!” he repeated. “That’s what you are.”

I could see the anguish in Arnie’s eyes as he stood and faced his father squarely. “I am
not
a freak!” he said sharply.

“Don’t raise your voice to me,” the colonel said.

Arnie hitched his chin a notch. “I am not asking for your approval, but I thought you should know that I’m going to start living full-time as a woman. I will eventually begin taking injections that will change my appearance and make me more feminine. In time, I’ll have sexual reassignment surgery and become a real woman.”

“This is going to kill your mother! After today you are no longer welcome in our home.” He turned for the door.

I stood. Things had gone all wrong. “Colonel, please,” I said. “Your son needs you to understand.”

He whipped around. “My son?” he shouted. He pointed a finger at Arnie. “He is no son of mine.”

Arnie stepped closer to the man. I could see the fury in his eyes. I hurried over and touched his shoulder, hoping to calm him, while at the same time prepared to back off in case they decided to slug it out.

“You’re right, Father,” he said between gritted teeth. “I’ll be the daughter you never had.”

The colonel threw open the door, but his whole demeanor changed, and he staggered out, and without warning, sank to his knees.

“Colonel!” I cried.

“Father!” Arnie was at the man’s side in an instant, catching him before his head could hit the floor.

I looked at Mona. She was already calling for help.

“My pills!” the colonel gasped. “In my pants pocket.”

Arnie and I both checked. I recognized the medication right away. I opened the bottle, dumped one of the tablets in my hand, and managed to slip it beneath his tongue. The colonel’s eyes rolled back in his head, and I feared I might be too late. I began performing CPR on him as Arnie watched, tears streaming down his face.

“What’s wrong with him?” Arnie cried.

“I think it’s his heart,” I said quickly, praying the ambulance would arrive soon.

“I didn’t know he was ill,” Arnie said.

The door to the reception room opened, and my mom and aunt stood there watching. “Holy h-e-l-l!” my mother said, thinking it was okay to curse as long as she spelled the words. “What’s going on?”

“We think he might be having a heart attack,” Mona said. “We’re waiting for an ambulance.”

“It’s all my fault!” Arnie said, choking on his words. “I should never have told him I was going to become a woman.”

My mother gaped. “You’re going to become a woman?” she repeated. “Why would you do that?”

“You’re such a handsome man,” Aunt Trixie said.

“It’s complicated,” he managed between sobs.

I glanced up. “I need this room cleared so the paramedics can get a stretcher in here.”

It seemed like forever before they arrived. I was sweat soaked and exhausted. My mother and aunt were trying to comfort Arnie as they stood just inside my office. I stepped aside to give the paramedics room to work.

“Please don’t let him die,” Arnie said to them. “I will never be able to live with myself.”

“He’s not going to die,” my mother said. “This sort of thing happens on
General Hospital
all the time, and the patient almost never dies.”

“She’s right,” Aunt Trixie said. “And when one of the patients actually does die, they bring him back.”

Arnie swiped at his tears. Mona was wringing her hands. “I wish I were a real nurse.”

“You need to be strong no matter what,” my mother told Arnie, “especially if you’re thinking about becoming a woman. Women are a lot stronger than men.”

The paramedics moved swiftly and efficiently. They checked the colonel’s vital signs, gave him an injection, and hooked him to an IV. All the while, they exchanged information by radio. Finally, they lifted him on a stretcher and told us where they were taking him.

“I’ll follow you in my car,” Arnie said.

“You’re in no condition to drive,” my mother told him. “We’ll take you in our truck.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said as she and Aunt Trixie grabbed their purses to leave. “Please call me as soon as you learn anything.”

Finally, Mona and I were alone. I sank into one of the chairs and buried my face in my hands.

“Are you okay?” Mona asked. “Would you like a Xanax?”

I shook my head. “This is all my fault. I should never have let things get so out of hand in there,” I said, feeling worse by the minute.

“How were you supposed to know the man had a heart condition?” she said. “Besides, he’s the one who went ballistic. I heard you trying to calm him down.”

I was vaguely aware of Mona standing over me. “You’re pale,” she said. “I want you to lie down in your office. I’ll let you know the minute I hear anything.”

I allowed myself to be led to my sofa. Mona tucked a pillow beneath my head and covered me with a light throw. She reached behind a chair and pulled out the teddy bear we used with children, then tucked him beside me.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“You need to hold on to Bubba Bear,” she said. “He always makes people feel better.”

“I’m not a child!”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Sometimes we just need something to hold on to.” She yanked several tissues from the box on my coffee table. “Here.”

I saw the earnest look on her face. Mona was doing all she knew to do to help. I took the tissues and mopped my eyes. “Thank you,” I said.

“Now, I want you to close your eyes and do that meditation thing you do when you get stressed. I’ll let you know the minute I hear something.”

“I have patients.”

“You’re in no position to see them. I’m going to call them and tell them you had an emergency. It doesn’t matter, anyway. They’re way behind on their bills.”

She closed the door, and I took several deep breaths. The good thing about being a hypnotist is knowing how to calm oneself through deep breathing and visualization. I imagined myself sitting on a beach watching a sunrise. I imagined the salty smell, the sun on my face, the breeze on my skin. I imagined everything being okay. Well, almost. If Arnie’s father died, I would be partially to blame.

chapter 9

I must’ve fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes, Jay and Mona were standing over me. I checked my wristwatch and discovered I’d been asleep for quite a while. “Are you okay, Katie?” Jay asked, leaning forward to stroke my cheek.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I was really concerned about you,” Mona said, “so I called him.”

“But you’re on duty,” I said. “What will your men do without you?”

“Why don’t you let me worry about that,” he said.

I sat up. I realized I was holding Bubba Bear. “Have you heard from Arnie?” I asked Mona.

“Yes, and the colonel is going to be okay,” she said. “I also rescheduled your patients.”

“How is Arnie holding up?” I asked.

“He’s good. Once he notified the rest of the family, your mother and aunt insisted he go home with them.”

I shook my head. “Poor Arnie.” But I knew my mom and aunt would take good care of him. They might clog his arteries with fried food and ask embarrassing questions about the surgical procedure that would make him a woman, but they’d pamper him and make him feel at home.

“Oh, and your mother said they’d be back tomorrow to finish packing.”

The words had barely left her mouth before Mona seemed to realize her blunder. She slapped her hand over it, an apology in her eyes.

“I noticed all the boxes,” Jay said. “What’s going on?”

“We’re, um, remodeling,” Mona said before I could reply.

Jay shrugged it off and reached for my hand. “Let me drive you home, babe. You can even bring your teddy bear with you.”

I blushed and handed Bubba Bear to Mona. I slipped my hand in Jay’s, and he gently pulled me to my feet.

We took the elevator to the first floor and Jay led me to his SUV. “How about I stop on the way and pick up an order of waffles for you,” he suggested. “That usually does the trick.”

“I’m not very hungry,” I said. I suddenly remembered Mike was at Lila’s. I gave Jay directions to her place. We pulled into her driveway twenty minutes later.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said. “I want to see if this woman is for real.”

Lila was clearly surprised to see us when she opened the door. “I wasn’t expecting you until five thirty,” she said. “I haven’t even taken Mike and Prissy for their outing at the park.”

“I wasn’t feeling well so I left the office early,” I said. I introduced her to Jay.

“Mike is in the den with my friend Claudia,” Lila said. “Claudia is very good with animals that are experiencing a lot of distress. She uses a holistic approach.”

Jay and I exchanged glances as we followed Lila to her den at the back of the house. She peeked inside the door and put her fingers to her lips. “Claudia is still working with Mike,” she whispered.

I pushed the door open wider. I heard what sounded like a waterfall. I found Mike sprawled on what appeared to be a faux fur blanket on a sofa. Lighted candles sat on an end table. A young woman, dressed like she’d just stepped out of the sixties, lightly rubbed Mike’s temples with her fingers. The woman looked up and gave a serene smile.

“What are you doing to my dog?” I asked.

In response, she raised a finger to her lips. She stood and crossed the room. She motioned for Jay and me to step into the hall. “Mike is in a state of deep relaxation,” she whispered.

Again, Jay and I exchanged looks.

“Lila was so concerned about your poor little doggie that I came right away.”

“What’s wrong with Mike?” Jay asked.

Claudia shook her head sadly. “She’s anxious and depressed. Have there been problems in the home?”

“No more than any other American home,” I said defensively.

“The reason I ask,” Claudia said, “is because I noticed how tight Mike’s muscles were when I gave her a deep tissue massage.”

I blinked dumbly. “You gave her a massage?”

“Yes, right after I gave her a special bath to open her pores. Her pores need to be able to breathe.”

“I don’t know why we didn’t think of that,” Jay said to me.

“I’ve been playing meditation music and using lavender and chamomile aromatherapy to help her relax. I think Mike is more sensitive than most canines. In fact, I believe she’s highly attuned to everything that’s going on around her.” Claudia smiled. “I would encourage you to play soothing music and continue with the massages and aromatherapy on a daily basis for the next few weeks. I think you’ll see a tremendous difference in your pooch.”

“I’d like to take Mike home now,” I said. I don’t know why I was so annoyed except that everything looked and sounded wacky, and I knew Jay would have a good time with it at my expense.

“I’ll wake her,” Claudia said. She opened the door to the den and crossed the room. Jay and I watched from the doorway as she gently nudged Mike. Her eyelids fluttered, and she opened them. As if sensing someone else was in the room, Mike looked my way and wagged her tail. I walked over and lifted her. She was as limp as wilted lettuce, and her eyes were dazed.

“Ready to go home, girl?” I asked, still holding her. She wagged her tail again.

We followed Lila to the front of the house. “Let me grab Mike’s treats from the kitchen,” Lila said. She looked at Jay. “I call them Lila’s love treats.” She hurried away. I noted Prissy curled into a ball on the living room chair.

“I think Claudia hypnotized Mike,” I said to Jay.

“I didn’t know you could hypnotize animals.” He stroked Mike’s head. “She certainly seems relaxed.”

Lila returned with the treats. I took the bag and thanked her, but I was anxious to leave.