Obsession (26 page)

I went to follow him, but Judith put her hand on my shoulder and easily held me in place. “No, this isn’t for your eyes.”

The sound of fighting soon filled the night and I trembled, imagining Leo being beat up.

Unable to stand it, I tried to get up again. “Let me go! He might get hurt! I have to help him!”

The sounds of brawling grew distant, like the combatants were moving deeper into the house, and Judith looked at me with an arched brow. “What do you think you can do to help him? Unless you have some martial arts training I’m unaware of?”

“I could have knocked someone in the head with a vase or something.”

“You mean you could have knocked my husband or sons out?”

Flushing, I looked away, pretending to study the flowers in the middle of the table. “If necessary.”

I might have been more convincing in my tough act if my voice hadn’t cracked.

“Well, I’m sure we’re both glad that won’t be necessary tonight.”

I took another gulp of wine, draining the glass. “Why are they fighting? And why was Fernando saying all those mean things? What’s wrong with him?”

When Judith sat, it was without any grace; she looked weary and beaten as she toyed with the edge of the table. “A little over a year ago, Fernando lost his wife and son in a terrible accident.”

I sucked in a breath, my hand going to my mouth. “Oh—oh no. That’s horrible.”

“It is. He’s had a very hard time dealing with the loss, and I’m afraid he’s turned to alcohol to try to drown his pain. Earlier today he was sober, and I thought he was having a good day, but evidently I was mistaken. Please don’t take to heart anything he says. He’s just…not himself these days.”

My heart hurt for her and I reached out, placing my hand on hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. What he’s dealing with, what you’re all dealing with, isn’t easy. I was too young when I lost my sister to even consider using alcohol as a Band-aid, but I don’t judge Fernando. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” She gave me an odd look. “Leo didn’t tell you about it?”

“No. He probably didn’t feel like it was his place to share your business.”

“Yes,” she said in a tight voice. “He’s very good about not sharing our secrets. Goodness knows there are those who would use anything they could against us, including Fernando’s grief. He’s having enough issues dealing with the situation alone; I can’t imagine what it would do to him to have the gossip columns hounding him about being an alcoholic. We’ve managed to keep it out of the papers so far, and they’ve kept their distance out of respect for his mourning, but his fans won’t stay away for long.”

“His fans?”

The side of her mouth, the lipstick now wearing off unevenly, quirked up. “Yes, my Fernando was—no,
is
a very successful race car driver, among other things.”

“Wow.”

“He always loved going fast, even when he was a boy and riding his bicycle downhill at full speed. Jason, my…my grandson, was the same way. They went skiing together in Aspen every year, scaring me half to death as Fernando zoomed down the smaller hills with Jason, but oh how he loved spending time with his father.”

I swallowed back tears, the hollow feeling in my chest growing as my mind began to build an image of what Jason must have looked like, been like. There was nothing I could really say to make things better so I just kept quiet, being there for her while she fought to compose herself. My mind went to Leo and I hoped that he was okay, and that he hadn’t hurt Fernando too much. Or vice versa, though I don’t think Fernando could outbox a fly in his current state of inebriation.

“We’re not normally like this, you know.” Judith sighed and gestured to the table and our surroundings before subtly wiping at the few tears that had managed to escape. “Please don’t let our drama scare you off.”

Laughing, I smoothed my dress. “Don’t worry; my mother could give all of you a run for your money when it comes to drama. I’m used to it.”

“That surprises me.”

“Why?”

“With as calm as you are, as peaceful, I would have thought your mother would be the same.”

I shrugged. “I’m not usually this relaxed, I normally have a lot more anxiety, but Leo…he…he makes me a better person. I know I’m not supposed to say that, because the only people that can make us better are ourselves, but honestly, since I’ve met him, I’ve been in a better place emotionally than I’ve ever been before. He makes me feel solid, feel like I have someone at my back, someone who cares about me. I can’t tell you what a positive difference he’s made in my life.”

She tapped her red nail against the base of her wine glass, the shadows from the candles deepening the lines of her face. “And you’ve only known him a month?”

Inwardly, I groaned. Joy, during the few brief nights I’d stayed in our apartment rather than at Leo’s place, had said the same thing in the same careful, but doubtful tone of voice. “Yes, but I feel like we’ve known each other longer.”

“I’m sure.” Her red-rimmed eyes crinkled in the corners as she smiled.

“I know it sounds lame, but it’s true. Leo’s an amazing man and any woman would be thrilled to have him in her life. He takes such good care of me. I’m not just talking about the pretty things he likes to dress me in, he pays attention to everything I say and do. If I happen to mention there’s a Chinese place I’ve been meaning to try, we’re there the next night. When I told him about what a nerd I was in Junior High and how no one had ever asked me to a school dance, we went to Obsession that night and he had the DJ play a bunch of songs that were popular that year. You’d never know it, but that man can dance. Honestly, I feel bad because I can’t give him the same things in return.”

Judith was smiling fully at me now, the tracks of tears still running through the makeup on her cheeks, but the slope was gone from her shoulders. “Oh, I think you give him more than you know. Ramón has told me that he’s seen Leo laugh, on multiple occasions, without someone having to die first.”

I gave a little giggle, wondering what she was talking about with the “having to die first” part, but ignoring it. “He’s funny! He really is, but his sense of humor is very subtle and dry. If you don’t pay attention, you miss it. I love it when he laughs. He’s got all that lion-like hair and with his deep voice, it comes out like a rumble of thunder. You feel his laughter in your bones.”

“I’ve never heard him laugh that loud,” Judith mused, “even before his mother passed. No, I think you do much more for Leo than you could possibly imagine.”

“I don’t understand how you could think that.”

“It’s not my place to tell, but rather, knowledge that will come to you when the time is right.”

Slumping back into my chair, I crossed my arms, a chill racing over my skin. With very little personal padding, I got cold quick. Already my hands would be turning red, and eventually end up purple. It was part of the awesome perks of being super pale.

Wood creaked as Judith stood, then drank a big gulp of wine right from the bottle, her wrinkled throat working before she let out a rough breath. The veneer of civilization fell away a bit, exposing a woman who was just as dangerous and intense as her sons, adopted and otherwise. Leo had warned me she was a power unto herself, but she’d kept that charisma dimmed around me, until now.

The very air between us changed as she slammed the bottle back on the table, her expression holding some sympathy in it. “What I
can
tell you is, things won’t be easy when dealing with men like Leo…and women like myself. We think differently than most people. Our brains operate in a different way, not enough to label us as mentally deficient, or a danger, but enough that the way we see parts of the world, and how we react to them, are a bit off.”

Almost too scared to ask the question, I breathed out, “Is…is Leo sick?”

“No, no, nothing like that. He was just born with a savage soul, the kind that could belong to a killer. Probably would have ended up in jail if he hadn’t met up with my company at the tender age of fifteen. God bless his mother, but he was driving her crazy, and she asked me if I could find some kind of job for him on our construction site one summer in Tucson. Leo, as I’m sure you know, is a well-built man and able to take direction. He was a dream to work with and I wondered why his mother had been so hesitant about his ability to handle the job.”

A bird called off in the distance, the sounds of the awakening nightlife filling the cool air as Judith continued, “I already knew Leo’s mother, our sons had been friends for a few years by this point, and she made me promise, mother to mother, back when he was young and adorable, that I’d take care of him if anything happened to her. I just didn’t think she expected it to happen so quickly, or violently, and that Leo would think he’d failed her or could have prevented her murder if he really paid attention. It marked him, to be sure, and I wondered if he would ever find the woman who fit all his edges and curves just right, the one who would not only join him, but heal him. Leo needs the balance of a good woman in his life, all my boys do, but he’s the one who not only needs it the most, but is ready to bring the right woman into his heart permanently.”

I really, really wanted to ask her if he was ready for it with
me
, if she’d had this conversation with another woman, what he’d said about me, what he hadn’t said about me, and anything else relevant. I had no interest in what he did at work, it was all Top Secret security stuff I wasn’t allowed to know about, but his personal life drew my obsessive attention.

I’d already torn through his house from top to bottom when he wasn’t home one day, inspecting it, looking for some sign that would lead me to believe Leo was anything other than what he appeared to be, the perfect man. Instead, all I’d found was an almost brand-new home that showed pretty much no signs of being lived in, other than when Honey and I romped through the place. If we didn’t dirty it up, the maid would have no job, so we did our best to leave stuff lying around and mess the house up. I did most of the destruction, while Honey napped near my feet.

It was an odd thing to do, but I’d heard Leo talking about firing the housekeeper’s assistant, and I felt bad that she didn’t have work because I cleaned up after myself. The first time I left dirty dishes in the sink, I stressed all night about it, but when I woke up, the place was as clean as I would have made it and the housekeeper had left me a tray with freshly brewed coffee and a creamy orange-frosted muffin.

I took the hint and began to drop clothes on the floor and not rinse out my glasses, but cleaning up after myself was an ingrained action that was hard to break. I told Leo what I was doing so he wouldn’t think I was weird, but he merely laughed and said if he’d known I liked her, all I would have had to do is tell him, instead of making our bedroom a pigsty.

Threading my fingers together over the green crochet of my dress, I smoothed the skirt, trying to cover some more skin on my chilly legs.

“Cold, dear?”

“It is getting brisk.”

“You must be starving, let’s go inside and see what the chef has cooking.”

I followed her back inside, the soothing silk of cool air blowing over my skin in a tingling rush. “Do you think they’d mind if we ate?”

“Of course not. I bet food burns right through you. I had a cousin like you, she’d eat six meals a day and still be hungry. You have a high…what’s the word…metabolism—correct?”

“Fortunately, yes. I can eat pretty much whatever I want without getting unhealthy. Thankfully Leo is there to try to make sure I’m eating better than I was. He cooks for me all the time.”

“He cooks for you?”

“Well, kind of. He tells the chef what to make for me. His cook and I also go over every week’s menu and we have a lot of fun doing it. Luckily the chef’s really cool, and we come up with some unusual but good food pairings. Whenever we get super creative, Leo has the chef make a ‘just in case’ steak and potatoes so Leo has something to eat while I try more exotic fair that isn’t always good. Though the ginger-infused pear soaked in apple schnapps was pretty yummy. We filled it with light chocolate and salted caramel so when you bit in, the combination of flavors was transcendent. I’ve been playing around with ideas for a more kid friendly version.”

“It sounds like you’ve been busy.”

“I have. Because of my burn, I wasn’t able to go back to work for a bit. In fact, I won’t return until next week, got some kind of extension. They’re paying me while I’m out, and I don’t have school, so for the first time in my adult life, I get to do whatever I want and it is amazing!” I let out a happy sigh before returning my gaze to an amused Judith. “And then there’s Leo.”

“I worry that Leo is too attached to you, that you might be feeling a bit smothered.”

“If I’m being honest, I like it when he smothers me with attention. I’m…well, I’m kind of needy. For someone like me, Leo’s overwhelming attentiveness is exactly what I want. He fills me up, Judith, and I’ve been empty and sad for so long.”

“Have you been depressed as well, Hannah?”

The alcohol combined with Judith’s kindness loosened my tongue. “Pretty much my whole life, but I deal with it. Occasionally I go on meds when it gets really bad, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to cope. That’s not to say depression didn’t totally mess with my life when I was in its clutches after my sister’s death, but I had a great support system, outside of my parents, who held me together.”