Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (18 page)

Logan froze. He turned to me, a worried expression on his face. “Kristina used this bathroom earlier.”

“When?” I asked, my voice rising. “I would have noticed her going into the bedroom to use the bathroom.”

“It’s when you were using the bathroom out there. She said she couldn’t wait, so I told her she could go ahead and use this bathroom.” Logan grimaced. “I’m sorry, Maddie. I never thought she would steal something.”

A ball of anger was growing in the pit of my stomach. “That bitch. I can’t believe she stole my necklace. And then had the gall to sit there, shoving
my
dessert in her face, pretending not to be a thief.” I wanted to sit down on the bathroom floor and cry. “I can’t lose that necklace. I
can’t.
It’s my connection to Cassie.”

Tears were rolling down my face, an ache in my heart at the thought of losing that necklace. It was the one thing that made me feel close to Cassie. “Does she know the significance of it?”

Logan shook his head helplessly. “I don’t know. I certainly haven’t told her anything about it, but I don’t know what I’ve told her before I lost my memory.”

Rage was quickly overtaking my sorrow. I stalked out of the bathroom, through the bedroom and into the hallway, opening the entryway closet and grabbing a coat.

“Where are you going?” Logan asked, close behind my heels.

“To Kristina’s hotel. I’m getting my necklace back from that bitch,” I said, shoving my arms into my coat.

“Wait,” Logan said, grabbing my arm. “We’ve all had a little too much to drink. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go storming over there.”

I shook his hand off my arm. “I’m fine. And I’m going.”

“Maddie, wait.” Logan moved quickly so that he was between the door and me. “I’ll call her and talk to her. I just don’t want you to get hurt. A confrontation after drinking isn’t a good idea.”

“You think she’s going to admit to stealing it?” I asked incredulously. I made a sound of anger. “This is what I get for trying to be nice to her.”

“You don’t even know her room number,” he reasoned. “They’re not going to just tell you at the front desk. And if they call up to her room, it’s not like she’s going to let you waltz upstairs because she’ll know why you’re there.”

I wanted to scream in frustration because he was right. Then I had an idea. “Mack must know her room number because he took her home the other night. I’ll ask him.”

Logan sighed but was silent as I called Mack. My frustration grew when it went straight to voicemail.

“I’ll call Kristina,” Logan said gently. “It’s probably better if I confront her.”

“Fine, call her,” I said shortly. I crossed my arms while I watched him dial her number.

“I knew she wouldn’t answer,” I snapped when he hung up the phone after it went to voicemail. “She knows why you’re calling.”

“Why are you angry with me?”

“I’m not.” All my anger deflated, replaced with heartache. “You just don’t understand. You’re not the Logan that understands. You didn’t know Cassie. Even though I’ve told you what happened, you can’t understand it unless you’ve lived through it. I need the Logan that understands.”

I could feel Logan withdraw from me, both mentally and physically. “I’m still the same person,” he said in a flat voice. “Am I supposed to apologize for having lost my memory?”

I made a sound of frustration. “That’s not what I meant!” I threw my hands up in irritation. “I don’t know what the hell I meant. I just can’t deal with this right now.”

I stormed past him into the bedroom. I knew I was being irrational, but losing that necklace meant more to me than just losing a physical object. I felt as though a piece of Cassie’s memory had been stolen from me.

I felt defeated and powerless and I didn’t know what else to do but climb into bed. Tears slipped out and soaked the pillow beneath me, but I made no sound as I laid there. After a few minutes, I felt the mattress dip beneath the weight of Logan’s body and his arm snaked around me.

“I’ll get it back for you, I promise,” Logan whispered as he lay down to spoon me. He kissed my shoulder tenderly. “I love you.” He breathed deeply. “I need that to be enough for you, even if I never regain my memory.”

I turned around, tears continuing to stream down my face. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.

“It’s enough,” I said, barely audible. “I love you, Logan.”

We held each other until we fell asleep. I dreamed about Cassie. Dreams where we were carefree and laughing, convinced that together we could face anything. If only that had been true.

Chapter Fifteen

Despite feeling despondent over the loss of my necklace, I was still looking forward to seeing Emily the next day. Logan promised that he would get the necklace back for me, and I decided to let him deal with it. As much as I wanted to charge over to Kristina’s hotel and demand my necklace back, it would probably be less messy for Logan to handle it. I would trust Logan to get it back for me, and enjoy my day with Emily.

“I’ll probably stay over Emily’s tonight,” I told him. “She promised to make her famous pumpkin pie martinis after dinner, and usually just one knocks me on my ass.”

“I thought you didn’t like pumpkin pie,” Logan commented with a quizzical look.

“Everything’s good when you add alcohol to it,” I said with a smile. “What are you going to do today?”
Besides getting my necklace back,
I added in my head.

“I’m tired of the rental car so I’m going to buy a car today.” Logan paused. “I’ll get your necklace back today, no matter what it takes.”

I gave him a tremulous smile. “I know you will,” I said, and kissed him goodbye.

I met Emily on Michigan Avenue, and my mood instantly brightened when I saw her. I hugged her like I hadn’t seen her in months, which it felt like. There was nothing like a good girlfriend and retail therapy to help you forget about your problems.

We braved the crowds on the sidewalks, which at least buffered us a bit from the frigid cold, and caught up while we tried to get as many Black Friday deals under our belt as possible. She filled me in on her holiday and her crazy family, most of whom got drunk during dinner, and about how Lola pooped under the table during dinner.

When she asked me about my Thanksgiving, I took a deep breath before spilling everything that had happened, not only on Thanksgiving, but beforehand as well. I cringed when I told her about letting Kristina overhear Logan and me making love, and her suicide attempt the next day, but Emily listened with no judgment. I finished with the latest debacle of Kristina stealing my necklace.

I was relieved when Emily didn’t declare that she thought I was a horrible person. I could tell she was shocked by everything that had happened, but, as always, she was on my side.

After shopping on Michigan Avenue, we had a leisurely lunch, and then took the L train to Macy’s. If Michigan Avenue was crowded, we almost got trampled over at Macy’s. But it was all worth it when we walked out of the department store with bags full of amazing deals.

We decided to go back to Emily’s apartment for dinner. The crowds and the cold had tired us out, and we were both looking forward to kicking back and vegging.

“How does pizza sound?” Emily asked when we got back to her place.

“It sounds perfect. As long as it’s accompanied by a pumpkin pie martini, I’m happy.”

Emily laughed and after she placed the pizza order, she made the obligatory martini.

“Oh, my God, why doesn’t actual pumpkin pie taste this good?” I exclaimed as I took a sip.

“Because there’s no vanilla vodka and crème de cacao in it, silly,” Emily said as she took a sip of her own martini. Lola padded over to her, her eyes doleful.

“I think she wants a sip,” I said, laughing. “Poor puppy.”

Emily got up to get a doggy treat for Lola, but even after she ate it with gusto, Lola still looked at Emily’s glass pitifully. I groaned when she changed her target and sat in front of me, looking at me mournfully.

“Not the sad doggy eyes,” I protested. “They’re irresistible.”

Her begging was interrupted by the arrival of the pizza, which made her redouble her efforts at looking pathetic. Emily finally buckled, and soon Lola was happily chomping on a pizza slice. I laughed and readily accepted another martini. Dinner was relaxing, especially since I had a nice buzz going.

“You’re staying the night, right?” Emily asked after she drained her third glass. It was safe to say she had a much higher tolerance than I did.

I shook my head. “I told Logan I was going to, but I totally forgot that he and I have to get up early tomorrow. I actually agreed to go to the gym with him, and he set up an appointment with a personal trainer at the ass crack of dawn.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what he was thinking. He hates getting up early in the morning as much as I do.”

Emily looked at me skeptically. “
You’re
going to the gym?”

“I know, I know. But it’s part of my New Year’s resolution to work out, and I figured it was a good idea to start early.” I smiled wryly. “We’ll see how long it lasts.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to just spend the night? It’s past midnight. I can just set the alarm early for tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” I said, “but knowing myself, I won’t get up.”

Emily called me a cab and it arrived in less than ten minutes. The drive over to Logan’s was short since there were barely any cars on the road at this late hour.

I smiled at the doorman when I walked into the building and politely refused his help when he offered to have someone help me carry all my shopping bags upstairs. When I got to Logan’s apartment, I took out my key and unlocked it as quietly as possible. I was sure Logan was already asleep and I didn’t want to wake him, especially since he was committed to waking up early tomorrow to go to the gym.

I softly walked inside, turning on a small lamp and setting down my shopping bags in the living room. I would worry about putting away my purchases tomorrow.

I slowly opened the bedroom door, careful to not make too much noise, and I could see Logan’s form under the covers in the moonlight. I went into the bathroom, grabbing shorts and a t-shirt to change into along the way, and closed the door behind me. I stared at the jewelry box on the counter that was still void of my pendant. I wondered if Logan had been able to get my necklace back. I had purposely not contacted him about it today because I didn’t want it to ruin my day with Emily, and I was determined for it not to occupy my mind. I told myself I could wait until tomorrow to ask him.

After I was done getting ready for bed, I opened the bathroom door with the light still on so that it wouldn’t be completely dark. The last thing I wanted to do was bang my shin into a piece of furniture.

My world came to a screeching halt when the shaft of light from the open bathroom door fell on the bed, and I saw that there was a figure next to Logan. I blinked comically, like I was in a cartoon and the scene before me was a mirage that I could just wish it away. But my eyes weren’t deceiving me. A rush of blood to my head made me feel nauseous and I was sure I could hear my heart thudding against my ribcage. I felt frozen to the spot, unable to move in this nightmare I was suddenly thrust into.

Seconds felt like hours as I stood there, afraid to move. Afraid to confront the truth that was staring me in the face. As horrible as I felt, I wanted to live in those few seconds forever, because whatever was about to come next would be my undoing.

The figure next to Logan moved and then sat up so that the bathroom light illuminated their face. Kristina stared at me, and then smiled, her expression full of malice. She reached up and touched the necklace around her neck, and a rage like I had never known exploded inside me when I saw her wearing my heart pendant.
Cassie’s
heart pendant.

I wasn’t aware of myself moving. The next thing I knew, I was on top of Kristina, screaming inarticulate words and clawing at her. Discovering that she was naked underneath the sheets made me almost murderous. Before I was able to do any real damage, an arm encircled my waist from behind and pulled me off her, but I was like an animal, arms and legs flailing as I tried to rip into my prey.

“Maddie!” Logan yelled. “Stop!”

I screamed in rage and grabbed his arm, trying to pull it off me. When his arm remained around me like a shackle, I raked my nails across his flesh. He cursed and let go of me. I scrambled back against the wall, panting harshly. Bright red marks appeared on his arm where I had scratched him, and he stared down at them and then looked up in confusion.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

My laugh had a maniacal edge to it. He was asking me what was going on when he was in bed with Kristina, who wearing
my
necklace and nothing else. I didn’t know what enraged me more: the fact that she was naked or that she was wearing Cassie’s necklace. Logan had promised to get it back for me, but instead he had fucked Kristina while she wore it. How sick could a person get?

“You’re asking
me
what’s going on?” I sneered. “That’s fucking rich. Maybe you can claim amnesia and say you don’t know how Kristina ended up naked in your bed, wearing
my
necklace.”

“Wait,” he said, shaking his head as if he were trying to clear it. It would have been comical if it hadn’t been so pathetic. “I wasn’t in bed with Kristina.”

“Seriously?” I spat out. “That’s it? That’s your defense? To just deny it? I have
eyes,
Logan. I’m pretty sure Kristina didn’t pop out of my imagination.”

Kristina wrapped a sheet around herself and finally chose to speak up, her voice smug. “Just leave, Madison. It’s over between you and Logan. Don’t embarrass yourself by begging.”

“Begging?” I hissed. My eyes narrowed. “That’s your thing, sweetie, not mine. I have a little more dignity than that. As far as I’m concerned, you can have him. I don’t associate with trash.”

I needed to get out of there before I broke down. Rage was keeping me standing, but I knew crushing anguish was right behind it. I didn’t want them to see me become a pathetic mess.”

“Stop,” Logan commanded, looking fierce. “Everyone just stop. I don’t know what the hell is going on but I’m going to figure it out.” He looked at Kristina. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Kristina’s face fell. “Really? Is this the game we’re going to play, Logan? I’m good enough to screw when no one’s around, but Madison waltzes in and I’m nothing?”

Logan’s jaw tightened. “Shut up. I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.” He turned to me, his expression turning pleading. “Please, Maddie. You have to believe me. Nothing happened between us. I was alone when I went to bed. She must have sneaked in here while I was asleep.”

I looked at him disbelievingly. “How could she have gotten into your apartment unless you let her in?” I smiled an ugly smile. “Maybe next you’re going to claim she’s a cat burglar and scaled your building and snuck in through a window.”

Logan stepped closer to me, but stopped when I put my hands up. I almost snarled at him. “Don’t come any closer or I won’t be responsible for what I do.”

“Maddie, this is a set-up. Kristina is trying to drive us apart by making you believe I cheated with her. Don’t believe her.”

“You were the one who wanted to be considerate of her feelings,” I said scornfully. “You were the one who opened the door to having her in your life. Now you’re telling me not to believe her? How convenient for you.” I turned around abruptly. I needed to get out of here before all my anger and pain suffocated me.

“Fuck this shit,” I hissed to myself, as I quickly gathered my belongings. I didn’t want to have any reason to come back to Logan’s apartment. I never wanted to see him again.

“Maddie, no.” Logan grabbed my wrist, holding on so tightly that it was painful. “You’re not leaving. You can’t. You can’t believe I would do this to you.”

Something inside me exploded. “How the hell did she get into your apartment if you didn’t let her in!” I screamed so harshly that my throat felt raw. I wrenched my arm out of Logan’s grip. He let go, but not before my wrist was painfully twisted, but I barely noticed it. The physical pain was nothing compared to the gaping hole in my heart.

Logan didn’t say another word as he watched me grab my belongings and practically run to the door. Kristina just stood there, her expression taunting. She flinched when I stalked over to her, and as much as I wanted to strike her, I just reached around and roughly took the chain off her neck.

After I got Cassie’s necklace, I opened the front door and shot Logan one last look over my shoulder. His face was shadowed and he looked like a man who had lost everything. Defeat and resignation hung heavy on his shoulders.

“Don’t contact me,” I said in a low voice. “I never want to see you again.”

I slammed the door closed, leaving my past and future behind me.