Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (14 page)

Logan shook his head. “No,” he said emphatically. “I don’t mean that. If what Kristina is saying is true, you wouldn’t have known about it.”

I was going to throw up. “If what she’s saying is true,” I repeated in disbelief. “Kristina is desperate. She’ll try anything to get back together with you. And you’re falling for it.”

Logan hesitated before speaking. “I’m just confused. Maddie, you need to understand that it’s hard for me to make sense of anything with my memory loss. I know that the me now, wants to be with you. But I can’t be completely sure that the me before the accident wasn’t thinking differently.”

“You’re not two people!” I exclaimed in frustration. “The Logan before and the Logan after the accident are the same person! And that person was done with Kristina. Finished!”

“The picture is hard to dismiss.” Logan put his hand up before I could speak. Or more accurately, scream. “I know that it’s possible that she somehow faked the picture, but I doubt it. Even photoshop couldn’t create a picture that looked so real and accurate. And I know there could be another explanation for that picture besides the one she gave. I’m just trying to think through it all.”

I was too desperate to be proud. I grabbed his hands, my eyes pleading as I laid myself bare. “Logan, please. I love you. And you love me. There’s no way you were going to get back together with Kristina. I would have known if something was off when you came back to Chicago.”

“Did I tell you about Kristina visiting me in the hospital?”

Fuck. I should have asked him about it when I had the chance. That way I could have told him why he had kept Kristina’s visit from me. I was sure there was a reasonable explanation. Instead, I had gone all private detective on him and tried to figure it out on my own, instead of confronting him. Now I didn’t know what to say to him. I wanted to lie and tell him that he had told me Kristina had visited him so that he didn’t think he had been keeping anything from me, like an engagement to someone else, but I didn’t want to start down that dangerous road.

“No, but I knew that she had. I’m pretty sure the only reason you let her visit you was because she kept pestering you, and you thought it was just easier to let her visit than keep stalking you.”

Even
I
thought my explanation was weak. Logan frowned but didn’t ask me how I knew she visited him if he didn’t tell me, for which I was relieved. I didn’t want to have to admit that I had been snooping on his phone.

“I wonder why I kept it from you. Maybe I knew it would upset you so it was better that you didn’t know.”

Logan didn’t say the next words, but I could almost hear him thinking it.
Or maybe it was because I was planning on breaking up with you and running off into the sunset with Kristina.

I was exhausted from all this emotional upheaval. I didn’t know how much more I could take. “What are you going to do?” I asked wearily, feeling utterly drained.

“Nothing.” Logan pulled me close, kissing me deeply. I lost myself in his kiss, wishing that Kristina didn’t exist and that Logan and I could just be happy together.

Logan broke the kiss and leaned back to look at me. “It doesn’t matter what did or didn’t happen in L.A. All I know is that I’m here with you now. You’re the one I want to be with. I’ll figure out what to do about Kristina, but for now just believe in me.”

I nodded my head, but there was a niggling sense of doubt. Not just about Logan’s current desire to be with me, but about what had happened in L.A. Despite my protestations, a small part of me wondered if what Kristina claimed could be true. Logan had kept the fact the he had seen Kristina in L.A. from me. It was possible that he was keeping more from me.

I told myself I was being ridiculous. There was no way Logan had proposed to Kristina. I would have to be an idiot to completely misread his feelings for me. I would have felt that something was off if he had been about to break up with me.

I ignored the voice that told me it wouldn’t be the first time I was an idiot when it came to Logan.

Chapter Twelve

The rest of the day was strained. Logan and I both tried to pretend we were enjoying a lazy Sunday together, but every silence was filled with tension and our easy camaraderie was stilted. The one ray of hope I had was when Mack called and Logan invited him to come over for dinner. Mack had been pretty insistent that there had been nothing between Logan and Kristina. If anyone would have known about their engagement, it would be Mack, and he hadn’t mentioned it to me. In fact, he had spoken of Logan’s devotion to me more than once.

Mack was upbeat when he arrived, oblivious to the tense mood. He held up a bottle of wine as he strode into the apartment.

“I’m not sure what’s for dinner, but after a weekend of working fourteen hour days, I definitely need a drink.”

“I’ll take a glass,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. I was just glad to have someone else here to help alleviate the tension.

Logan took the bottle from Mack. “I’ll open it. Go ahead and relax.”

Logan disappeared into the kitchen and Mack sat down on the armchair next to the couch I was sitting on. “Thanks for inviting me over. It can get pretty boring eating room service in front of the TV.”

“Of course,” I said. “Although dinner isn’t going to be impressive. We’re waiting on our Chinese food delivery to arrive. We got an assortment of things to share.”

“Hey, I won’t complain about Chinese food. I never met a General Tso’s chicken I didn’t like.” Mack glanced towards the direction of the kitchen before continuing in a lower voice. “How’s everything going with Logan?”

I didn’t know where to start. Everything was such a mess.

“Kristina came over today,” I said. Mack raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment so I continued. “It was a shit show. She’s claiming that she and Logan are engaged. According to her, when she visited him in the hospital back in L.A., he realized that he was in love with her and the next day they went ring shopping. This would be just hours before he flew home and acted like nothing was wrong with me. She’s insisting that he was planning on breaking up with me.”

I was gratified by Mack’s look of surprise. “This is news to me. Obviously, Logan didn’t tell me about any engagement.”

“When did you see him at the hospital? Was it before or after Kristina visited him?”

Mack grimaced. “It was before. I had to leave before Kristina showed up because I got a call from my grandmother’s nurse that she was demanding to leave the house. She has Alzheimer’s and goes through spells where she’s convinced she’s still a young woman and being held in her house against her will.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, sympathetically. It reminded me that I knew little about Mack, while he knew so much about me and my past. “How long has she been sick?”

He sighed, looking tired. “She was in the beginning stages about five years ago, but this past year it’s gotten progressively worse at a fast pace.” He paused before continuing. “My grandmother was the one who raised me, after my parents died. I was lucky to have her. She’s an amazing woman. She had more energy that most people ten years her junior, and she devoted her life to making sure I had the happiest childhood possible.” His mouth twisted. “Alzheimer’s is such a heinous disease. The first time she didn’t recognize who I was killed me.”

“It must be so hard to see her go through that. It makes Logan’s memory loss pale in comparison.” I frowned. “I was so upset about what happened with Logan, and you were the one to help me through it all. Yet I didn’t even realize that all this must be a trigger for you, not only with your parents passing away in a car accident, but with Logan losing his memory.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so selfish.”

Mack shook his head. “You weren’t being selfish. I was happy to be there for you.” He put his hand on my arm and squeezed lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot.”

Before I could respond, Logan came back into the living room with the glasses of wine. He glanced down and Mack quickly removed his hand from my arm, leaning back into his armchair. Logan’s expression was enigmatic and he didn’t comment as he handed us our wine. He sat down next to me, but he was looking at Mack.

“I hear that Chinese food is on the way,” Mack said a little too cheerfully. His touch had been innocent but it almost seemed like he felt guilty. “Good choice.”

Logan nodded, his gaze remaining on him as he took a sip of his wine. “What were you guys talking about?”

“His grandmother,” I answered quickly. Logan was close enough that I could feel the tension in his body. I wanted to make sure he realized that our conversation, and Mack’s touch, had been innocent. “She, unfortunately, has Alzheimer’s and he was telling me about it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Logan replied, but his expression remained unreadable. “That must be hard.”

Mack nodded. “It can be difficult but she has days where her memory is crystal clear.” He smiled. “Enough talk about depressing things. Any progress on the memory front?”

That wasn’t exactly a cheerful topic but I went with it, especially since I wanted to discuss Kristina’s allegation.

“Not really, but Kristina came over today unexpectedly.” I hadn’t discussed with Logan whether or not we were going to mention what happened today to Mack, so I didn’t want him to know I had already told him. “She wants us to believe that in the span of her visiting Logan at the hospital in L.A. and him leaving the next day, he confessed his love for her, proposed to her, and bought her an engagement ring.”

Mack shook his head disbelievingly. “Logan, you never mentioned any of this to me and we talked on the phone after you had gotten back to Chicago. I seriously doubt Kristina’s telling the truth.”

“Were you there when she visited me at the hospital?” Logan asked.

Mack frowned. “No. I had to leave before Kristina got to the hospital because of my grandmother. I didn’t get a chance to see you again before you left, but I’m sure you would have mentioned getting engaged when I talked to you later if it had actually happened.”

I took a deep breath, revealing the one damning piece of evidence. “She has a picture of her and Logan together. It’s dated the day Logan left for Chicago. She’s wearing the engagement ring and they both look pretty happy in it.”

Mack looked surprised by my revelation. “Are you sure she didn’t doctor up the photo somehow?”

“That’s what I said, but Logan’s convinced it’s real.” I pressed my lips together in dismay.

“I’ve seen my fair share of photoshopped images since I’ve been involved in some digital fraud cases,” Logan said. “I’m pretty sure that picture was the real thing.”

“So, you think it’s true that you and Kristina are engaged?” Mack asked incredulously. “I find that highly unlikely considering what you told me.” He glanced at me before looking back at Logan. “You were kind of out of it while I was at the hospital, but you were lucid enough to tell me that Kristina was badgering you to visit, but you didn’t want to deal with her. I can’t imagine that changing so quickly that you would be professing your love to her.”

“No, I don’t believe Kristina and I are engaged. Even with my memory gaps, I know that can’t possibly be true. I just think there’s some other explanation for the picture.”

Logan’s assertion should have reassured me, but what other possible explanation could there be for the picture? It was obviously a picture of a happy couple beaming about their recent engagement. Kristina’s ring-adorned hand was in obvious display in the picture.

We were interrupted by the Chinese food arriving, and we abandoned the topic as we ate dinner, although it was still in the forefront of my mind. I couldn’t help bringing up the topic again once we were done eating, and working on another bottle of wine.

“What are you going to do about her insistence that you guys are engaged?” I asked Logan. “She said she was expecting to hear from you by the end of the day.”

Logan sighed heavily. “I don’t want to be cruel. I’m not sure how to handle the situation without hurting her.”

That was absolutely the wrong thing to say. I felt my temper ignite. “She’s the one lying to you and you’re worried about her feelings?” I said, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. “It’s not cruel to tell her that she has no chance with you. That’s just being honest.” I narrowed my eyes. “Unless you’re trying to string both of us along until you figure out who you like better.” I laughed but the sound was ugly. “Sometimes I forget that you’re not the Logan that I knew. He would have never entertained her manipulations.”

I knew I was being unfair. I couldn’t imagine how overwhelming and confusing it must be to not remember the important people in your life. But if he kept this up, Logan would just be encouraging Kristina and making her think she had a chance. I couldn’t let that happen.

Logan’s jaw was tense. “I guess you’ll just have to deal with the Logan in front of you now.” His tone was acerbic. “I apologize that I’m not the version you want.”

“You guys,” Mack interjected, his hands raised as if he could physically stop us from bickering. “It’s ridiculous that you’re arguing about this.” He turned to Logan. “We’ve been friends since law school. You might not remember who the hell I am, but we spent a lot of time together, both during law school and when you lived in L.A. I know for a fact that you would have never proposed to Kristina. Not when you were with Madison.” He glanced at me before continuing. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been determined about one thing. To be with Madison. You waited years to be with her. You tried just being friends with her, convincing yourself that sooner or later she’d give you another chance. If the Logan I knew could hear you now, he’d shake you and tell you to send Kristina home.”

Logan’s expression was tense. “For the last time, I said I don’t believe that Kristina and I are engaged. But you can’t just expect me to tell someone, who you both admit I used to care about, to fuck off. Not when I don’t know what the hell is going on and who’s telling the truth.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shot up from the couch, enraged by his words. “I didn’t realize you thought I was a liar. Why don’t you ride off into the fucking sunset with Kristina if you’re so concerned about her feelings. I don’t even know why I’m here. Obviously you can’t trust me.”

I stalked off to gather up my things to leave, but before I could take more than a couple of steps, Logan grabbed my arm. “I didn’t mean that I think you’re lying. I just don’t want to make any rash decisions.”

“About who to be with?” I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp, but his hold was iron-clad. “Why don’t I make it easy for you and leave?”

“Maddie, stop!” Logan expression was thunderous. “You should know I don’t want to be with anyone but you. Even without my fucking memory, I know that.”

“Then act like it!” I screamed. I knew I was out of control, but I couldn’t believe Logan was taking Kristina’s feelings into consideration. She was scheming to tear us apart, yet he was concerned about hurting her feelings.

I had forgotten about Mack’s presence until he stood up, looking supremely uncomfortable. “I think I should leave. This is between you guys.”

Logan turned to him, his eyes like daggers. “I think that’s a good idea. And don’t ever put your hands on Maddie again. Next time I won’t be so forgiving.”

“Are you kidding me?” Mack looked stunned. His expression then turned disgusted. “I’m out of here. Let me know when you have your head screwed on straight.”

Mack stormed out of the apartment looking pissed without even a glance in my direction. I turned to Logan, furious by his attitude.

“You have the gall to be upset at Mack for putting an innocent hand on my arm when he was telling me about his grandmother, yet you’ve got Kristina, the woman who’s trying to break us up, on the backburner.”

“I saw the way he was looking at you,” he hissed, his eyes burning with anger. “There was nothing innocent about that.”

I laughed harshly, feeling like I must be in some kind of nightmare. “I think you lost more than your memory in that accident. You lost your damned mind. I’m leaving.”

I finally managed to pull my hand out of his grasp and whirled around to grab my bag and leave. My breath was knocked out of me when Logan snaked his arm around my waist and abruptly pulled me back, making me fall against his chest. His breath was warm against my ear as he leaned down. His voice was soft but I heard the steel underneath it.

“You’re not leaving.”

I scoffed at him, although I was having a hard time concentrating because of his hands on my body.

“Remember, you can only tell me what to do during sex,” I sneered at him. “Otherwise, all bets are off.”

Logan didn’t miss a beat and moved his hands to my jeans, undoing them and shoving his hand down my panties with no warning.

I gasped when I felt his fingers pushing into me, his thumb flicking my clit. A sudden rush of wetness eased his entry and he started rhythmically fucking me with his fingers.

“Logan,” I said in a strangled voice. My hands gripped his arms to hang on, and he immediately supported my weight when my knees buckled. “This isn’t what I meant.”

“You said I can only order you around during sex,” he rasped next to my ear. “What better way to end an argument.”

I could feel him getting hard behind me, and it just made me even more aroused. I knew this wasn’t the answer, and I was still angry about Kristina, but my mind couldn’t seem to grasp anything but the pure pleasure his fingers were inducing in me.