Off Limits (3 page)

“You remember that.”

I swallowed. “Sure.”

“Why didn’t you bring your girlfriend home for Christmas?”

My chin jerked down. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah. I saw pictures of you two on Facebook.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

She blinked. “Oh. She was blond…tanned…and really pretty.”

“Oh. Allegra.”

“Right.”

“We broke up a while ago.”

“I didn’t know that.”

I shrugged and looked down at the trash bag in my hands.

“You went out with her for a while, though. More than any other girl.”

I thought about that. “Yeah. I guess.” Allegra had been smokin’ hot and kind of fun, and yeah, she’d
held my interest longer than most girls. But not long enough.

I’d never had much luck keeping a girlfriend. Connor once tried to tell me it was my fault, because I never gave them a chance, but I’d always figured it was something about me that made people not want to stick around.

“Was it because you moved to Chicago?”

“Well, partly. She’s an actress and she didn’t want to leave L.A. But it
wasn’t worth trying to do the long-distance thing and we were both fine with that.”

After a short pause where Jenna continued to stare at the hockey player Christmas ornament, she said, “I’ve never said this, but you’ve done so great with your hockey, Andrew.”

Her words hit me in the chest, but I summoned up a cocky grin and said, “I know.”

A smile flickered over her mouth.

“Was it hard being
traded?”

“It’s part of the job.” I shrugged. “That’s what I’m supposed to say anyway. The truth was, I was pretty pissed. We won the Stanley Cup last year and I was excited for another great season, another run at the cup. I thought we had a great group of guys. I didn’t want to leave.” He grimaced. “But you do what you gotta do.”

“I guess Chicago’s not the same as L.A.”

“Ha. Snow again, instead
of palm trees and swimming pools and the ocean.”

“And beautiful actresses.”

I grinned. “That too.”

She rolled her eyes. “In all seriousness, Dad’s so proud of you he could burst. He couldn’t be prouder if you were his own son.”

My heart bumped. “Yeah. I know. And I’m glad. I mean, I didn’t do it for him. I always wanted to play hockey. But I’m glad I’ve done something to make him happy, after
all he did for me.”

Jenna nodded and looked down at the ornament again.

We were both remembering The Conversation. The awkward, painful one we’d had five years ago. The air around us buzzed with tension.

“Chicago’s not so bad,” I added. “The fans are great. The team needed help on defense and I think I’m giving them that. Some good guys on the team.”

She nodded.

“Tell me about
your
job. You
work at the same company as Jon, right?”

“Right. I’m in Human Resources. I work in talent development.”

“Talent?”

“It’s the new buzzword. We do training for staff and help them develop their careers.”

“Ah. So that’s cool. It’s what you wanted to do?”

“Yeah. It was a great job to get right out of college.”

My forehead tightened a little. “You don’t sound enthusiastic.”

She lifted one shoulder,
setting the ornament on the table and turning to pull out another one, this one a figure skater. That one had been purchased for Jenna, who’d taken figure-skating lessons all through her childhood and had even competed as a teenager.

I remembered watching some of those competitions, blown away by her grace and beauty, including one of her last, the one where she’d mentally disintegrated under
the pressure, totally blown her performance, and came off the ice sobbing. I remembered going to her once she’d left the kiss-and-cry area, where she’d awaited her dismal marks. I’d enfolded her in a big, comforting hug, shattered by her misery, wanting to make it all better for her but helpless because I couldn’t.

“It’s not quite working out like I’d hoped,” she admitted. “I had so many ideas
going in there. I’d studied up on the company and what their needs were, and after a few months there I’d had this great vision of what we could be doing. But it’s a huge company and pretty set in its ways.”

“That sucks.” I frowned. “What do you do about that?”

“I don’t know.” She met my eyes, and the corners of her mouth lifted in a sad little smile. “I either accept that I’m going to have
to just follow along with the corporate culture, or I look for a different job.”

“I’m sure you’d have no trouble finding something else.”

“I don’t know. I had no trouble getting recruited right out of college, with my marks and the activities I was involved in, and my volunteer experience. But it’s a tough world out there, especially in New York.”

“Why’d you move to New York?” I’d always wondered
that.

She met my eyes. “Because it wasn’t here.”

Andrew’s forehead creased. “I thought you love Greenfield.”

“I do.” My smile slipped. “I just felt a need to get away. Start a life somewhere new.”

As our gazes connected, I knew he understood. I’d wanted to get away from him.

He didn’t live in Greenfield anymore. He’d been drafted in college by the Los Angeles Kings so we knew that was where he was going to end up. But he
still came home every summer. When I graduated from college, coming back to Greenfield, where I’d see him, was the last thing I wanted to do.

I did love Greenfield. I loved the old town square and the nearby pond and the neighborhood we lived in, like a small country town but close enough to Hartford to have all the conveniences. I loved the big old trees that turned brilliant colors in the fall;
the Fat Badger, where I’d had my first illegal beer; and the cute little shops on Main Street. I loved the people here and I missed my friends and family a lot.

But after being away four years at college it was easier, and there was so much in New York. I’d never had trouble meeting people and making new friends.

There was a lot unspoken, running beneath the surface, creating a tension that
crackled between Andrew and me. Now that we were alone, there was no ignoring it. I wanted to just stare at him and absorb every detail of him, the dark stubble on his strong jaw, his deep, dark eyes, his wide, sculpted mouth. He wore well-worn, loose-fitting jeans and a blue-and-white plaid shirt. The shirt was a little wrinkled and untucked, the cuffs turned back on his forearms. He was big, possibly
even bigger than he’d been at twenty-one when he’d left college to play pro hockey, with wide shoulders, well-developed biceps visible even through the shirt, and when he’d turned away to leave my room earlier I hadn’t been able to stop myself from looking at his muscled ass and big thighs.

There was a physical type I was attracted to and he was it. And I felt terribly guilty thinking that, because
Jon had a great body too, naturally lean and well proportioned. And anyway, physical attraction was overrated. There had to be more than that for a relationship to work.

Says the girl who’s never really had a relationship.

All the silent words swirled between us.

“I’ll probably stay working there awhile longer,” I continued. “To get some experience. I don’t have to decide anything right away.”

“You’ve been with them, what…a year and a half?”

“About that.”

“Does Jon know you’re not happy?”

“Yeah, I talk to him about it. He doesn’t really get it, though. He just thinks I’m new to the business world and I need to learn how things work. Which could be true.”

“I guess. But what you were saying sounds like pretty fundamental differences.”

I eyed him. He got it. “True. But maybe I’m all
bright-eyed newbie with crazy unrealistic expectations.” I smiled. “They’ll beat all that out of me soon enough.”

He frowned. “I don’t know much about the business world, but I don’t think that should have to happen. They should be taking advantage of your enthusiasm and creativity.”

I tilted my head. “Aw, thank you, Andrew.”

“Here I thought you were working at your dream job in the big city,
ready to move up the corporate ladder and take over.”

I laughed. “That might not happen for a while. And it’s not as if I’m totally miserable. I work with some good people. I probably just do have unrealistic expectations.”

His support meant so much to me.

I sighed and looked down at the ornament I still held. “Are you going to come to the Fat Badger tonight?”

“Yeah, sure. It’ll be good to
see people. Though I do see some folks when I’m back in the summer.” He stuffed another string of dead lights into the trash bag, then tied it closed.

I nodded. “Oh hey, while Mom’s away I need to get my iPad hooked up to her speakers. We can’t listen to Boney M. all day.”

Andrew laughed as I rushed to find my purse. He had the greatest laugh, a delicious, low rumble.

I returned a moment later
and frowned at the speakers. “I don’t know if this is gonna work.”

“Here, let’s see.” He took my iPad. “I don’t know if this stereo has the right input.”

“Well darn.”

“No worries. I’ll get my docking station. I leave it here in my room. Hang on.”

He disappeared and thudded down the stairs to the basement. When he’d moved in, he’d taken the extra bedroom down there as his and I guess he still
stayed there when he came home to visit. He came back with the docking station and a minute later the strains of Ariana Grande singing “Santa Tell Me” filled the room.

“Thank you!” I clapped my hands together and bounced on my toes. I resisted the urge to hug him.

“No problem.”

Our eyes met again and it was so hard to look away. His eyes darkened and his mouth softened and I saw the affection
on his face.

Affection was all I’d ever get from him.

I swallowed and turned. “Let’s organize these things so we can start when they arrive with the lights.”

I hummed and bopped a little to the pop music Christmas playlist I’d put together. I loved music and dancing, and skating, which had led me to combine them all in figure skating as a kid. Then I spotted a small shopping bag with a box
in it. I squealed as I tore it open. “Candy canes!”

Andrew shook his head but smiled. “You’re like a little kid.”

“You only get these once a year and I love ’em.” I peeled the cellophane off one and popped the end in my mouth. “Mmm.”

Andrew’s gaze dropped to my mouth, puckered around the candy stick and sucking. A wave of heat washed down through me at the look on his face.

Oh God.

My eyes
went wide and my heart gave a kick against my ribs.

That wasn’t just affection. His eyes were hot and hungry, focused on me with searing intensity. My body became electrified and my knees trembled.

“I think your mom bought those to hang on the tree.” Andrew’s voice had gone hoarse.

I slid the candy out of my mouth, slowly, watching him. “No, I’m sure she bought them for me to eat.”

His eyes
blazed, but one corner of his mouth lifted. “If you say so, peanut.”

My heart now squeezed. He’d called me the old nickname he’d used when we were kids. My brothers were both big like my dad, but my being only five-two had earned me that nickname from Andrew. Still, it was way better than “punkin’ butt” and “twinkle toes,” which Connor and Daniel had called me.

My throat got tight and I shoved
the candy cane back in my mouth. Inside I was shivering and hot.

Damnshitdamn. What was happening here? This was so bad.

I’d met someone else. I was over Andrew. Way over.

The sound of car doors closing outside had our heads swiveling. Mom, Dad, and Daniel tramped into the house with a gust of cold air, Mom and Dad arguing about how many lights Dad had bought.

“You’re going to blow every circuit
breaker in the house with that many lights,” Mom said. “Clark Griswold.”

My eyes met Andrew’s and we burst out laughing.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” Dad dumped the bags he was carrying on the floor.

“We have to wait for Connor and Jon to come back,” I said.

“And Emily and Christopher to wake up,” Andrew added.

“Christopher has to be here for his first tree decorating,” I said.

Andrew
lifted an eyebrow at me.

“What? He does. Okay, okay, he’s a baby, he’ll never remember this.”

“Two is a good age for Christmas,” Mom said. “That was the most fun, when you kids were two.”

“That’s it?” Daniel said. “We were only fun for one year?”

Mom laughed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I’ll go see if they’re still sleeping. Be right back.” Daniel bounded up the stairs.

Jon and Connor showed
up moments later carrying boxes of booze.

“We should be good now.” Connor flashed a grin as he carried his box into the kitchen.

Jon did the same, then came and gave me a kiss. It was nice that he and Connor had had some time together to get to know each other. As Jon’s lips touched mine, my eyes flicked sideways of their own volition, to glimpse Andrew watching us, his face expressionless.
Awareness skittered over me. Conscious of Andrew, I kept the kiss brief and stepped back from Jon to smile at him. “So you got a little tour of Greenfield?”

“Yeah. Cute town. Quaint.”

The way he said “quaint” did not sound complimentary and my forehead tightened. But Daniel and Emily came downstairs and everyone was ready to decorate. Emily brought the baby monitor, as Christopher was still
sleeping. They didn’t appreciate my suggestion to wake him up.

This time the lights were successful and soon the tree was wrapped with several hundred mini white lights. Then we got to put the decorations on, including some of the ones we’d made as kids that had survived the years—my glittery pine cone strung with red yarn; cookie dough ornaments we’d created, one of them Daniel’s snowman painted
all black, with fierce red eyes and mouth, which had honestly scared me when I was little; Connor’s Pokemon-shaped ornament.

“You changed the music?” Connor muttered to me at one point.

“Yep.” Mom hadn’t noticed yet.

“Thank you.”

“I can’t believe tomorrow’s Christmas Eve!” I hung a red bell on a branch. “Are we going to church tomorrow night?”

“Yes.” Mom studied the garland she’d draped around
the tree. “This looks like a five-year-old did it.”

“It always does,” Andrew said in a low voice near me, and we exchanged smiles. Louder he said, “It looks great, Brenda.”

“Tomorrow afternoon, we’re going for a sleigh ride,” I announced, meaning Jon and I. Pritchard’s Farm had a livery stable that did horse-drawn carriage rides in the summer months and sleigh rides in the winter. I’d thought
it would be so romantic to go for a sleigh ride through the snow, drinking hot chocolate spiked with Schnapps.

“Oh, I love that idea!” Emily clapped her hands together. “That’ll be so fun!”

Oh. I blinked. Everyone else thought it was a great idea too.

“And they have skating on the pond,” Andrew added. “Let’s all take our skates.”

I sighed. This was turning into a family outing, when it was
supposed to be a romantic sleigh ride for two. I met Jon’s eyes and gave him a wry smile and a lift of my shoulders. He just smiled back.

Easygoing. Nothing ever got to him. So that was good.

He hadn’t seemed bothered by Mom putting us in separate rooms for our stay here either. I’d been surprised, assuming we’d share my room, but it wasn’t that big a deal. We didn’t live together, so it wasn’t
like I was going to die from missing sleeping with him for a few nights.

“I’m not even sure where my skates are.” I picked up my wineglass, which Andrew had refilled.

“They’re downstairs,” Mom said. “And they were sharpened last year and you haven’t used them since, so they should be good.”

“My skates are still here somewhere too, right?” Daniel asked.

“Yes.”

“I don’t have skates,” Emily
said. “Can you rent them there?”

“Yes, you can,” I answered, having just looked at their website the other day to plan the outing. I looked at Jon. “You’ll need to rent skates too, I guess.”

“Yeah, I don’t skate.” He made a face. “But the sleigh ride sounds like fun, and I can watch all of you skate.”

“Oh, you should try it!” I set my hand on his arm.

“We’ll see.” He wasn’t enthusiastic about
the idea. My bottom lip pushed out with disappointment. I loved skating. Even though I’d stopped competing, I hadn’t given up skating. While in high school and college, I’d earned money teaching it to little kids. I could easily teach Jon.

“There! Done!” Mom stood back to study the tree. “Gorgeous.”

I smiled at her. It was our tree, not like a magazine or catalog picture, all perfect and symmetrical
and color-coordinated, but unique to us and full of love and laughter and memories. “It is,” I agreed.

A faint squawk emitted from the baby monitor. Emily groaned and I perked up. “He’s awake!”

“I’ll go change him,” Daniel offered. “Sit down, babe.”

“Thanks, hon.”

“When he gets back, your father and I have something to tell you all,” Mom said.

I frowned. “What?”

“I said, when he gets back.”

Curiosity zoomed inside me. “But what?”

Mom grinned. “Settle down, Jenna girl. Patience. Who needs more wine?”

“I need a beer,” Connor said. “Andrew? Want one?”

“Yeah.”

Jon was drinking one of the red wines we’d brought and I was still working on my bottle of Snobby Frog. Mom and Connor went into the kitchen. I turned to Andrew with big eyes. “What do you think they’re going to tell us?”

A little crease appeared between his eyebrows. “No idea.”

“I guess it’s not that they’re taking us to Hawaii for Christmas this year.”

Andrew laughed. “Yeah, no. But hey, we should totally do that next year.”

“It wouldn’t be right. You’re supposed to be home for the holidays.”

“True.”

Daniel clomped down the stairs a few minutes later with a wide-awake Christopher and a blanket, which Emily
used to drape over her and Christopher as she nursed him. Connor and Mom returned from the kitchen and Connor handed Andrew a beer.

“Okay, everyone’s here,” I said to Mom. “What’s the big secret?”

“It’s not a secret.” She took a calm sip of her wine and glanced at Dad. “You want to tell them?”

God, did one of them have cancer? Was one of them dying? All kinds of crazy ideas ran through my head.
But I didn’t expect to hear Dad say, “We’ve decided to sell the house.”