On The Prowl (17 page)

“An assassin. A paranormal killer.” He paused. “That was what he became…for you. Because he wanted you to live so much.” Luke exhaled. “Can you live with that? Because if you can’t, then walk the hell away now. It will be kinder to him.” He waved his hand, and her torch sputtered out. “The fire won’t spread. What happens next, it’s up to you.” The he looked up into the sky. “I have a dumbass twin brother to finish dealing with.”

He flew away.

She dropped the chunk of wood and moved toward Julian.

“Don’t.”

She frowned. The flames crackled behind her.

“You…shit…you don’t see it, do you? Leo was right. That bastard was right about one thing—I am like Simon.”

“No.” She stepped toward him. “You’re not.”

“I made a deal. I killed, for you. Simon killed—he killed because he thought he’d get his wife back.”

Rose grabbed his arms. “Did you hurt innocents? Did you torture to steal power?”

“I
killed.
That’s what I am. I’m a killer in my core and you…you have
always
deserved better. I knew it the first time I saw you. Beautiful Rose, with sunlight on your hair and sand between your toes. You deserved a life I could never give you.” He swallowed. “Then I took your life away.”

“No, no, you fought to keep me! I can see that now—”

His laugh was bitter and oddly broken. “What you need to see is that I’m a bastard. One who is so twisted inside he can’t get past his own desires. I knew you wouldn’t want to be a vampire, but I couldn’t let you go.”

“Julian, let’s just…let’s get out of here, okay?” Because he was scaring her. She’d said she loved him—several times now—and he hadn’t mentioned love even once to her. Granted, it had been one hell of a day, so she was trying to cut the guy a little slack, but the fear still coiled inside of her. “Look, there’s a chopper right there. You’re the tough, do-anything-type, so my money says you can fly that bird—”

“I can.”

“Then get us out of here. Take us—take us some place where we can be alone. Where we can start over.”

“There isn’t any going back.” Deep lines bracketed his mouth. “I learned that a long time ago.”

“Julian…”

But he caught her hand and pulled her toward the chopper. He lifted her up and made sure she was buckled in her seat. He took the pilot’s spot and pushed some buttons and soon they were lifting up into the air.

She looked down and saw the smoke drifting up to them. A line of blue light surrounded the outskirts of that burning building, and she knew she was staring down at Luke’s magic—containment for the fire.

The blades whirred overhead as Julian flew them away.

***

Julian landed the helicopter on Key West, on a private helipad that Luke owned. Sometimes, he felt like his buddy owned half of the damn world.

Because he did.

The blades stopped spinning, and his head turned so that he could stare at Rose. Beautiful fucking Rose. The woman he wanted more than anything.

The woman who’d said she loved him.

The deal was supposed to save her. It didn’t work out that way. I screwed things up. I have to make it right for her.

“Why…why do I feel like you’re about to tell me good-bye?”

Because he was. “Twenty-four, seven protection, remember? But only until—”

“The threat is gone.”

He nodded. “Considering you burned the Collector to ash, I don’t think we have to worry about him any longer.”

“I told you I loved you.”

He flinched.

“Don’t you love me?”

“I’m a fucking selfish bastard.”

“Julian…”

“I saw you on the beach…you were picking up sea shells. I saw you, I wanted you, and I didn’t care about the rules that said I was supposed to stay away from a human. I was arrogant and cocky. I thought I’d screw you and walk away and no one would know that I’d broken one of Luke’s famous laws.” His hands clenched. “Shifters are supposed to stay away from humans. We’re too rough. Too wild. I’ve known shifters who’ve killed human lovers.”

“You didn’t hurt me and you sure
didn’t
walk away.”

“Because I couldn’t. Once wasn’t nearly enough. I had you, and I wanted more.” He’d wanted forever. But forever had ended in a hail of gunfire.

“I wanted more, too,” she whispered. Did the woman have any idea the damage she was doing to him? His heart was in pieces. She’d gutted him with her love.

“You didn’t want to be a vampire, Rose. You wanted a husband. A home. Kids. Holidays and trips to Disney World. You didn’t want me. How could you? You didn’t even know me, not really.”

She grabbed his hand, her fingers curling over his clenched fist. “I know you now. I know you as a beast. I know you as a man. And guess what? I
still
want you.” Her breath heaved out. “But what do you want, Julian? How do you feel about me?”

I love you. Completely.
And that was terrifying. “If you died tomorrow, what do you think I’d do?”

She blinked.

“If I’d gotten to that fucking pit in the Everglades five minutes later and that bastard had taken your heart…what do you think I would’ve done?”

“Julian—”

“
Anything.
I’d do
anything
to get you back.” That was the part that tore him up. “You say I’m not like Simon. You’re right. In some ways, I’m worse. Because I wouldn’t have fucking dicked around like he did. I would have moved heaven and hell
immediately
to get you back. I would have traded any life to have you back. You think I wouldn’t kill an innocent to get back the woman I love?”

“You love me?”

Always.
“I would kill anyone. I would trade anything…I would do
everything
to get you back. Because I am a monster in my soul. And monsters aren’t supposed to love because when we do, we just destroy. The love we feel is selfish and addictive and it’s not right for you.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to say what’s right.”

“I
mated
you, and I didn’t even tell you!”

Her eyes widened. “Wh-what?”

“When we made love, I bit you. I marked you.” His hand slid from hers and touched her on the shoulder. That sweet curve that led up to her neck. His fingers trailed over her silken skin. “When you mark here, that’s a mating bite for my kind. Fucking binding as marriage. I’m locked to you, tied to you now for the rest of my life. I won’t ever be happy with anyone else.” He’d never feel so much as a flicker of desire for anyone else. He couldn’t. He was mated and that meant that he belonged—body and soul—to her.

“I don’t really want you happy with anyone else,” she muttered.

She didn’t get it.

“If you were a shifter, the marking would have just condemned us both to a life where we were always tied to one another. If you left me, you’d mourn for me. Your body would
hurt
because you needed me close to you.” He exhaled. “But you’re not a shifter, thankfully. So the rules that apply to me…they won’t apply to you. You can walk away. You can be happy without me. You can have a life that isn’t tied to a monster.”

“And what about you? Will you be happy without me?”

Never.
“I will be happy…knowing that you’re safe. Knowing that you have a life that suits you better.”

“You’re…you’re telling me to walk away.”

He was trying to get her to run away. “Being noble isn’t something I do well.” Or at all, usually. “I am the monster in the closet. The one that little kids are supposed to fear. I’m a nightmare, and I don’t know how to handle anything good.” His hand lingered against her skin. “When I try, I destroy it.” Just like he’d destroyed her. “You need someone better than me. You need to go…you need to just…leave, Rose. Live your life.”

“Without you.” She shook her head. Tears gleamed in her beautiful eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because, for once, I want to put someone else first. I don’t want to be like Simon. I don’t want to take and take and take…until there is nothing left of you.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “But I thought…”

He forced a hard smile. “That we’d get a happy ending? That’s not for people like me. The ending I wanted…I wanted a redo for you. I wanted Leo to make you human again, and then I was going to get him to make you forget me.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “What?”

“We weren’t going to be together when this story ended. You were going to have your life, and I was just going to be a bad dream that faded away when you woke up at dawn.”

“You were going to do that—to me?” And she jerked away from him. She fumbled with the door, and she shoved it open, sending a crack snaking along the glass with the force she used. “You bastard!”

She jumped out of the chopper. He didn’t follow her.

“You don’t get to decide my life! I’ve learned to be a vampire and you know why? Not because I’m evil or dark or any crap like that…but because I’m strong.” Her hand gripped the door. “I’m strong enough to keep going even when I was so terrified of the world around me. I’m strong enough that I learned to hunt, learned to live a whole new life. If I didn’t want this, I could have given up at any moment. You think Luke didn’t offer me a way out?”

“
What?”
Shock froze his heart. No, no, Luke would not have done that. He’d known just how desperate Julian was for Rose, how much he cared for her. He would
not
have offered her death.

“When I opened my eyes, he immediately started telling me the ways that I could die. He was giving me an out right then.”

Julian shook his head. No, Luke had just been warning her…hadn’t he? Doubt gnawed at him as he started to see the past with different eyes.

“And he came to me later…when I was so afraid of killing someone else, and he had a wooden stake with him. He told me…he told me that I wouldn’t even feel the pain, if that was what I wanted.”

For an instant, the whole world went dark. Rose—dead? Luke had gone to her with a stake.
I will kill him.
“The
sonofabitch
never told me—”

“That he offered me death? He did, but I didn’t want death. I wanted to keep living. I chose to keep going. It’s been my choice all along. Just like you have been. I want you, Julian. I love you. Beast or man, it’s the same to me.
You
are the same.”

“Rose…”

“It’s time for
you
to make a choice.” She let go of the door and stepped back. “If you want me, then we’re looking to the future. There is no more guilt and no more regret. No more fear, not for either of us.”

She still didn’t get it. “I will destroy you.” As he’d destroyed others. He didn’t get out of the chopper. If he got out, he’d touch her. If he touched her, he’d be lost. She’d be lost.
I’m mated to her. There will never be another for me. But she still has a chance.
Why couldn’t she see that? “I’m good for one thing in this world.” He looked down at his hands and saw the claws that had sprung forth. “Killing. It was what I was born to do. It’s what I’ve spent
years
doing. That shouldn’t touch you. That blood and death—”

Her husky laughter cut him off. “Oh, Julian…I’m a vampire, blood and death are my life. They are the only things I know.”

Because of him.

His breath sighed out. “I stayed away from you…because I didn’t want to hurt you. I need you too much. I want you too much. When other men are near you…” He looked over at her. “I want to rip them apart.”

She stared back at him. “That’s called jealousy. It’s normal.”

It was normal for a human. “My control is razor thin when it comes to you. Others might
want
to rip apart another male who comes too close, but I can actually do it. It wouldn’t even take effort. One swipe of my claws, and death follows.”

“You wouldn’t do it.”

That was where she was wrong. He just stared back at her, willing her to see him for who he truly was.

“Why can’t you see?” Now her voice was sad. “You’re looking in a broken mirror. That’s not who you are.”

It was exactly who he was. “You should step away from the helicopter.”

A furrow appeared between her brows. “What?” Her eyes widened. “You’re
leaving
me?”

He was setting her free. There was a difference.

“You bastard! I love you, and you’re walking—flying—away from me?”

He didn’t speak.

She did. “I never thought you were a coward.” Her words were low, but he heard them clearly. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? So afraid of what
could
happen that you won’t let us have a chance together.”

It wasn’t a matter of
could.
The past spoke for itself. The past—their past. Her death. Because of him. And the whole tangled shit with the Collector? It went back to him. Julian had gotten her turned into a vampire. If he hadn’t done that, she never would have been on the Collector’s radar. She never would have been living with monsters.

“You blame yourself for everything, don’t you?”

“For all the pain you’ve felt…” And there had been so much since she’d ended her human life. “Yes,” he rasped. “It’s on me. It will
always
be on me. I can’t undo it, but I can stop it from happening again. I can make sure that I don’t cause you to suffer more. When you walk away from me, you’ll be safe.”

“And what will you be?”

Empty. Broken. Alone.

A killer. “What I was always meant to be.”

Her hair began to blow, tossing back against her face. Her clothes pressed to her body. He hadn’t yet made the helicopter blades spin, so that rush of wind wasn’t coming from him. If it wasn’t from him…
oh, bugger.
“Rose, get back in the chopper.” He lunged for her.

“
Now
you want me back?” she demanded and retreated a step. “I’ve had a really shitty day, so you need to make up your mind, panther.”

Leo landed at her side. “We had a deal.” His face was flushed and twisted in anger. “And no one breaks my deals.”

Rose spun toward him.

He locked her into his arms and shot into the sky.

“No!” Julian bellowed. No, that SOB wasn’t supposed to take her away. He slapped at the controls and the blades began to spin, faster and faster. The chopper lifted into the air and he raced after Leo.